"I call everyone 'Darling' because I can't remember their names – Zsa Zsa Gabor

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They arrived back in the room several hours later, Amanda walking down the hall with her shoes dangling from her hands and an exhausted expression on her face. Tonight they truly had left Francine tucked up in bed, mostly recovered from the drugs and with reassurances from the doctor summoned from the medical clinic that she would be fine after a good night's sleep. Francine had waited for Lee to go check on Adam before grabbing Amanda's hand. "Lee told me what you did – I wish I could have seen it. But, in case whatever Simon gave me means I don't remember anything tomorrow, I want to say I'm really glad you were here. I wasn't sure anyone would realize I was in trouble."

Amanda had grinned and squeezed her hand back. "Francine, you are a fabulous actress but you would never willingly have spilled red wine all over that Valentino dress if you hadn't been in trouble."

Francine had managed to laugh, "That was the clincher? Oh God, Lee's right – it's good to have friends who really understand you. And by the way, whether or not I remember any of this tomorrow, you know I will deny ever saying that."

"I wouldn't have it any other way. Life would be so dull if I only had Russian agents to squabble with."

Adam had not fared quite so well; the vest had taken the brunt of the gunshot blast but he still had several cracked ribs and a bruise that covered most of his right side. He had been bandaged to within an inch of his life and Amanda had made the hotel staff bring several extra pillows so he could sleep slightly inclined to help with the breathing. He'd been embarrassed by Amanda's mothering until Lee had given him a sympathetic look and told him to get used to it. "Just be thankful she isn't insisting on having a roll-away cot brought in here so she can keep an eye on you."

Adam had stared at him uncertainly. "She wouldn't. Would she?"

"Never underestimate the code of the Bedside Bluebell. But I'll do my best to save you from her." He winked at him as Amanda entered the room from next door. "You did good tonight Adam. Now get some sleep and we'll get you back on the jet to DC tomorrow."

"No chance of a long recovery on the beach?" The younger agent grinned sleepily at him, the pain killers already taking effect.

"I'll see what we can do – I could do with at least one more day of sun and sand myself."

Now as they approached the room, both of them were stumbling as the adrenaline of the night's adventure finally began to wear off.

"Another day, another tux to replace. How many is that this year?"

"Three, I think but thank goodness, this is the only one with a bullet hole in it. Oh my gosh, it seems like everything hurts I'm so tired," yawned Amanda, cuddled against him.

"Yeah, that bed is calling for sure."

"It is, but not before I have a long hot bath."

"That sounds like fun"

She smiled tiredly at him. "Any other night, Lee, but right now I just want to soak and then sleep."

He made a mock disappointed face before admitting "I'm not sure I'll even be awake by the time you're done to be honest."

He opened the door and checked inside from force of habit before stepping aside to let her in. He stepped into the bathroom and began running water into the tub for her before walking back into the room to find Amanda standing, swaying tiredly exactly where he'd left her. He unzipped her dress for her, dropping light kisses on her shoulders as he did so. "Are you sure you want that bath, darling? You seem like you could use bed more."

"No, if I go to bed with these aches, they'll be worse when I wake up. I won't be long."

She walked into the bathroom and shortly after, Lee heard the water shut off and the splash as Amanda slipped into the tub. He felt the familiar surge of arousal as he imagined her in the water, but he had to admit Amanda was right – they were both too tired for any lovemaking tonight. He stripped off his clothes and lay back on the bed to wait for her.

He must have drifted off into a light sleep when he suddenly became aware of the sound of the tub draining. He lay on the bed, listening to the now familiar sounds of her night time routine, brushing teeth, brushing hair, taking off makeup. He could hear her talking to herself but couldn't make out the words. When he heard the toilet flush, suggesting she was done, he pushed himself to his feet to go trade places with her. She appeared in the dim light of the room, already in pyjamas and clambered onto the bed with a tired sigh.

Lee quickly went through the motions of brushing teeth and washing face before stepping over to use the toilet. As he reached for the flush, he glanced down and realized the bath towel Amanda has been using was lying on the floor beside the tub. "Man, she really must be tired if she's not even hanging up towels," he thought to himself, reaching down to pick it up. As he went to hang it over the curtain rail, his heart began to pound.

"Amanda, did you get hurt tonight?" he called out to her.

She sounded exhausted when she answered from the other room. "No, why?"

"Are you sure? There's blood on the towel you just used."

"Oh that. No, I'm not hurt."

He came out of the bathroom, concern on his face which increased when he saw how pale she was, curled up on the bed and looking like either she'd been crying or was about to.

"Stop looking so worried. Women bleed, Lee."

Sudden comprehension dawned on his face "Oh."

He crossed over and climbed onto the bed, drawing her against him. "Are you feeling alright, darling? Should you have been working tonight?"

"Oh for heaven's sake, it's just my period. Women work though them their whole lives. Do you think our lives grind to a halt every month?"

She was really overreacting, but he had enough sense of self-preservation not to say so. "No, but I've known you for three years and I've never seen it hit you like this before."

She sighed and made herself more comfortable against his chest. "It's not usually like this. Being on the pill means it doesn't usually bother me but all the antibiotics and stuff I had to take after Birol threw my whole system out of whack."

"I can tell."

"It's just making me crazy tired."

"You still should have told me you weren't feeling well." He held up a hand at her expression of annoyance. "Not because I don't think you're capable but because I worry about you. You just seem like you shouldn't be exerting yourself."

"Well, it didn't start until tonight and I pretty much jumped at the chance to come when I found out you weren't even in DC when I got back. We don't get enough time alone as it is and I was hoping to spend some time with you to talk but that's taken care of now anyway."

"You've lost me."

"I wanted to have some time where we were really alone once this was done because I was late."

"Late for what?" The words were barely out of his mouth before he realized what she'd meant. "Oh." He said with sudden understanding. "Oh." This time with the understanding of why she was upset. "How late?"

"Just over a week. Not a lot, just enough to make me think that maybe… I didn't even realize until I was most of the way through Station One when I realized I hadn't used any of the supplies I'd brought and then it seemed like such great timing that I was being sent home early and then when I got there, I couldn't get hold of you and... well anyway, it's started now."

He could hear the note in her voice and hugged her closer. "I'm sorry I wasn't home darling."

"Please don't call me that. Not now." She was definitely on the edge of tears now but he wasn't certain what he'd said that brought it on or the apparently sudden change in topic for that matter.

"Don't call you what?"

"Darling – don't call me that."

"Amanda, I call you darling all the time – why is it bothering you now?"

"Because you don't call me that all the time. You only call me that when we're playing a cover and you're being all Scarecrow-y."

He stopped, struck by that and realized she was right. He thought back to the first night they'd made love and how she'd jokingly called him Scarecrow. It had set his teeth on edge and here he was doing the same thing. "You're right, I do. I'll try to call you something less annoying." He dropped a kiss on her cheek. "Like sugar, or toots, or baby." He'd been trying to make her laugh but it was out of his mouth before he could stop it.

Luckily for him, Amanda's sense of the ridiculous kicked in even before he could wince. Her laughter hiccupped out of her, unstoppable, "I didn't think you could make it worse, but Mandy-baby is definitely not where you want to go either."

"I really need to learn to engage brain before mouth some days. I'm so sorry, my love."

She sighed and rolled onto her back to stare at the ceiling. "I couldn't figure out how to tell you – I was stuck finishing training and I couldn't just call you and tell you on the phone. And when I got here, I lost my nerve that it would distract you too much and I wasn't even sure yet. So I just kept putting it off. It was like Philip all over again, wondering what I was going to do about it."

Lee felt his heart drop as the last sentence trailed off. "Is that why you married Joe?"

"No, of course not. Philip was conceived after we got married, he just came much sooner than we'd planned. It was just that I can remember dreading telling Joe – I knew he'd be happy, but he was only barely starting law school and we were already living like poor students."

"So you were dreading telling me?" he asked quietly.

"Not exactly," she started and then realized what he was asking. She scrambled to roll over so she was facing him again and reached out to lay a hand on his cheek. "No! No, of course not. I didn't mean it to sound like that. It's just that it wasn't something we'd discussed yet and the timing would have been difficult to explain. We would have had to figure out how to move up our wedding and how to tell people."

He was surprised at how relieved he felt at her explanation, that it was only the timing that would have been a problem not the pregnancy then realized he should have known better. "You're not wrong there. It would have been a race to see whether your mother or Billy could get the shotgun out quicker." He studied her face as she gazed at him from across the pillow. "You gave this a lot of thought. Are you sure it was only a week?"

"Yes, really just a week and a bit. I'm not miscarrying, it's just a period, honestly."

"You're sure? It wasn't anything we did tonight or, uh, last night that caused it?"

Amanda smiled at his attempts to dance around the subject. "No sweetheart, it wasn't. All I did tonight was run around a bit." She couldn't help laughing. "And as for last night, good lord, if that caused miscarriages, I never would have had either of the boys because I get incredibly horny when I'm pregnant."

"Really? Wow, I thought I knew a lot about women, but you are a constant education to me."

"You do know a lot, you've just had a specialty subject up until now. And it's one I've had every reason to appreciate."

He could tell from the teasing that some of Amanda's tension had lessened but knew he needed to know more.

"But you're still upset about it, even if you thought it would have been bad timing." It was a statement, not a question.

"Yeah, a little. It's the same every time you get pregnant – I mean when you really are pregnant – it's sort of a roller coaster of terror and joy. In the same breath you can be deliriously happy and still be thinking about all the obstacles it's about to throw in your path. I just finished every test Beaman threw at me and then it looked like it was all for nothing but now, when it turns out to be nothing, I feel a bit like something wonderful just got snatched out of reach. Am I making any sense?"

"Yes, except for me everything you just described happened in the three second interval from when you said 'late' to when I realized you meant past tense."

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. Maybe I shouldn't have told you. I could have left you in blissful ignorance."

"Of course you should have told me. We need to talk about it."

She looked at him questioningly so he went on.

"You're right, we haven't talked about it, but now it's out there for discussion. And if we'd had this discussion before, I might not have known what I wanted, but that feeling you talked about, about having something wonderful snatched away – I get that. Nothing like being told you can't have something for clarifying what you want."

Her eyes were shining with unshed tears. "You want a baby?"

"You know, back when I barely knew you yet, I once told Billy you had motherhood carved in your bones. It's such an intrinsic part of you, how could I not want a child with you?"

"But what if we can't?"

He couldn't help starting to laugh. "Amanda, my love, you are going to make me crazy. If we can't, I share Jamie and Philip with you. You already have a perfect family for me to love which is more than I ever thought I'd have in my life. And if we can, it's just more perfect."

"But what about being your partner? I can't go in the field if I'm pregnant or if I have a baby at home."

"You are just looking for trouble now, aren't you?" He pulled her in for a long tender kiss. "You can still do field work that isn't dangerous, you know the kind – doorstep interviews, stuff like that – and you can still be in the office running backup with research and so on. It's always been your intuition and your ability to relate to people I've relied on, and you can do that in relative safety if we need you to."

Amanda grinned up at him, mischievously. "So you've just been dragging me into dangerous situations for three years for the fun of it?"

Lee smiled back at her. "No, I just liked knowing you were watching my tail." He reached over to swat her on the behind. "And besides, you dragged me into half of them AND I always tell you to stay in the car. Maybe if you have a reason to stay put, you'll stay put!"

She caught her breath at the mental image he'd conjured up. "I'd like that reason."

"And either way, we'll have a good time trying." He looked down her, suddenly serious. "I love you more than anything, Amanda King. Don't ever forget that."

"I won't but keep reminding me anyway." Her eyes were drooping shut, as emotional and physical exhaustion finally took its toll.

"I can do that, my Amanda." He gently rolled her until she was spooned against him. As she snuggled in closer, sighing as she drifted off, he wrapped his arm around her waist and followed her into sleep, smiling to himself as he pictured their future together.

*The End*