This is a (belated) Xmas present for Jaz101! And as such, this fic (including the title, though that may just be wishful thinking on my part) is dedicated to her and her alone.

The pairing was the challenge she dared me to, don't get me wrong, I love challenges. Especially if I've never even considered the pairing before but… Seriously, I wrote about Naruto as one of my main characters… -.-" This feels… weird.

Slightly AU, since I never managed to get through the entire war-arc, so I'm not sure what exactly happened after. But since I'm not doing another fifteen-year-old/grown-up ship, this is somewhere after all that. Just assume Naruto's still single or whatever, I don't know ;) Just assume that Naruto's around 18-20 years old, which would make Iruka 28-30. Still a huge age difference, just no pedophilia xD

This will be a three-parter. I will try my best to upload all of it before New Year's day, but since I'm still writing… Yeah, time's running short, so I thought I'd give you part one at least ^.^

I do not own Naruto, nor am I getting paid. Kisimoto gets all that, I just get reviews (I hope)

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WORTH THE WAIT

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PART ONE

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Thursday, ramen with Naruto. That had been the deal for years, they only didn't have ramen together on Thursday if the boy was on a mission, or during his time with Jiraiya. No, wait. Not boy. Young man. Definitely a young man. Through his eyelashes, Iruka regarded the blond beside him carefully. He'd grown into a fine young man. Not just a great ninja with powers he couldn't even dream of, he was… Exquisite. But Iruka wouldn't tell him that. Would never tell him that. Naruto had looked up to him as his sensei for all these years, as an older brother. Iruka didn't want to burst the young man's bubble by telling him that he hadn't been able to look at him as a younger brother for years… Now, he looked at him like Naruto was a work of art – which he was. Bright blonde hair, that was still as unruly as ever, lean muscles rippling under slightly tanned skin. Sparkling blue eyes that seemed to brighten every room this masterpiece would enter. Iruka had to swallow against the lump in his throat, and their ramen wasn't even served yet.

Cerulean eyes turned to him, looking almost a little sad, "Iruka-sensei, could you please stop looking at me like that?"

Taken aback, he felt his cheeks heat up, stammering, "Li-like what, Naruto?"

"Like I'm the hero… Everyone keeps looking at me like I'm the hero. No-one ever seems to see Naruto anymore. I know it's better than back when all they saw was the nine-tails, but…" His gaze drifted away, the corners of his mouth turned down just a little.

"Naruto," He couldn't resist placing a hand on the younger man's shoulder, "I still see Naruto, the same Naruto I've seen for all these years. Yes, you're a hero, and you're incredibly powerful, but…" He swallowed, "You're also still my friend, right?"

As Naruto's face brightened, Iruka could feel his heart soar. He mentally reached out his hand to pluck his fluttering heart out of the air, pushing it back into his chest and ordering it to stay put. Naruto would never feel the same about him. About Iruka-sensei Umino. 'Sensei'… Iruka slowly began to resent that title. Even more so because the blonde beside him insisted on calling him that.

"Sensei, really?!"

Iruka suppressed a sigh, "Yes, Naruto. Really. We're friends, right?"
That's all I'll ever get, right?

"Best friends!"

"Best friends," He smiled brightly, suppressing the urge to slouch in his seat.
Best friends, that may be a little better than 'friends' but it's still nowhere near what I'd really like, now is it?

Teuchi set down their ramen bowls, and they thanked him. Beside him, Naruto yelled 'Itadakimasu!' before gulping the food down. It made him smile, though his own pace was a little slower.

"Itadakimasu," He picked up his chopsticks, shooting a quick glance to his left where Naruto sat. He'd already finished about half his food before Iruka'd even taken his first bite.
Just like old times. When you were just a boy and I was your sensei. But now you're a man, and I'm a man, and I can't believe what just being near you does to my body…

They finished their food, and even though Naruto ate two bowls while Iruka only had one, the blonde had to wait for him to finish. But he didn't seem to mind too much. Iruka paid for their food, slipping off his stool to find Naruto waiting for him, "Don't want to go home yet?"

"Nah… Iruka-sensei, could we just hang out for a little while longer?"

He almost winced at the 'sensei', had to recapture his heart again at the thought of hanging out with Naruto a little longer, "Sure," He gave him an easy smile, pointing his thumb behind him, "My apartment's close. It's about to rain."

Blue eyes gazed up at the sky, he nodded, happily falling in step beside Iruka, "It's been a long time since I've been in your apartment, Iruka-sensei!"

He was almost skipping beside him, and Iruka took a deep breath, "Wouldn't be if you weren't so busy all the time…"

"Stop that," Suddenly very serious he looked Iruka in the eyes, "I don't want to hear about me being busy, I just want to spent some time with you, okay?"

Nodding, he smiled at the blonde.
Anything to be able to just be around you, Naruto. Anything…

They came up to the apartment complex just as the first drops fell from the sky. He hurried to open the door, but his hand was shaking and it took Iruka a couple tries just to get the key inside the lock. Finally, the door opened, and they rushed inside. Calling the rain, 'rain' was an understatement. 'Pouring' would still be an understatement, Iruka pondered as he gingerly eyed the soaking wet form of Naruto Uzumaki.

"That's just great, Iruka-sensei… Couldn't you find the right key a little sooner?" Naruto frowned.

"I'm sorry, Naruto…"
Can't very well tell him I was shaking too much because he was basically pressed up against my back trying to escape the rain, now could I?
He sighed.

"Nah, it's okay. Can I borrow some clothes, though? I'm soaked!"

Just as Iruka went to answer, his eyes widened in shock. Naruto was stripping off his wet clothes right here, in his hallway. He swallowed, tearing his gaze away, "Uh… Sure… I'll… Eh… Go get them… Yeah," He moved away, but was stopped by a hand on his arm.

"Iruka-sensei, you're going to drip all over your apartment. You should really take those wet clothes off first," There was a slightly concerned look in the blonde's eyes and Iruka couldn't find a plausible excuse right now. So he ridded himself of his flack vest and shirt. Turning to walk into the apartment once more.

"You're still dripping you know…"

He looked back, Naruto was grinning at him, hands folded behind his head, wearing nothing but his boxers and his hitai'ite. Iruka swallowed.
I can't take off the pants! He's gonna see, no way I can take off the pants!
Slowly, he discarded his undershirt. Naruto was still grinning at him, so he turned around before stripping off his uniform pants as well. All but bolting the moment they hit the floor.

He stepped through his apartment quickly, grabbing a towel and roughly toweling himself dry before throwing on another pair of uniform pants. He specifically choose a pair that was a little loose, hoping to hide the bulge in his pants from his visitor. Grabbing another towel, another pair of pants, he doubled back to the entry hall. Naruto was calmly leaning against the wall, arms crossed, one foot resting against the wall, "Took ya long enough."

He smiled wide though, accepting the towel and drying himself off. Iruka could feel his eyes following every move of the body before him, willing himself to look away, but couldn't. Naruto grinned up at him again, holding out his hand, "Enjoying the view, Iruka-sensei? I'll still take the pants, though."

He swallowed, biting his lip as he handed the clothes over, "I'm sorry… I didn't mean to… Uh…"

An easy smile drifted his way, "I was just kidding, Iruka-sensei. You're always so uptight nowadays. Well, you've always been a little uptight. But I can sort of see how you went a little rigid about me painting the stone faces…" He chuckled.

'Rigid'… Right… Nice choice of words there, Naruto…
"I'm not uptight, Naruto. I'm just… I dunno…" His fingers unconsciously found the scar running across his face, as Iruka worried the inside of his lip.

"Yeah you are," He pointed at Iruka, "And anxious about something. You always touch that scar when you're uncomfortable. Come on, Iruka-sensei, tell me what's wrong. We're friends, right? Friends tell each other when something's wrong. I know that much."

"Yeah you do, Naruto. And you're right. But… This is something I can't really tell you about, okay? I just have to figure some things out for myself. I'll tell you about it when I'm ready to," He tried for a definitive air, and felt like he probably succeeded pretty well. Turning on his heels, Iruka headed into his kitchen, calling back to his friend over his shoulder, "You want something to drink? I'm gonna get some tea started to warm up."

"Yeah, tea's good," Naruto's voice followed him into the kitchen, as did the blonde's footsteps, "Sake might be better…"

"I guess I have some, let me see…" He rummaged around for a few moments, grabbing a bottle of sake and a cup, "Here you go," Setting the cup on the table, he poured the liquor before turning back to the kettle he hadn't yet filled.

"No, you drink it."

"Hm?" He picked up the kettle, moving over to the sink, "I'm not following, Naruto…"

"Like I said, you're too uptight Iruka-sensei. Chill out, have some sake."

"No… I don't think that's a good idea…" Turning off the water, he walked back to the stove.

"Why not?"

Because you're trying to get me drunk so I'll tell you what's up. And that is never going to happen, Naruto. Never ever, because that would mean that I'm not only coming out to you as a gay man, but also tell you that I want you. Which would be the complete and total destruction of Iruka Umino. So no, I'm not drinking that…
"I just want to have some tea, Naruto. Tea, not sake."

"Then have both, sake now, tea later."

Iruka turned, arms crossed before his chest, legs crossed as well in another attempt to hide that which Naruto should not see, "You're suddenly being very persistent…"

The blonde frowned, "So what?"

"So I don't want sake. What part of that don't you understand?" Iruka frowned now too, he felt like he was trapped in a conversation that he should stay as far away from as humanly possible.

"I don't understand why you won't tell me what's wrong…"

"Aha, so you're trying to get me drunk so I'll tell you? How very friendly of you…" Iruka couldn't stop the sarcasm from lacing his tone, couldn't help the frown that deepened. Couldn't help how his hands slowly clenched to fists.
I almost wish I hadn't invited him in…

But Naruto remained eerily calm. Sitting at the brunette's kitchen table, he only watched him without another word. The silence between the two friends dragged on, evolving from awkward onto unbearable within minutes. Still, Naruto didn't speak. This wasn't what Iruka was used to from the younger man, and Naruto's calm attitude got to him more than even the silence could. He sighed. Uncrossing his arms he moved to sit across from his friend, biting his lip to stay calm and quiet. Blue eyes followed him through the kitchen, watched him sit down. And still, their owner didn't speak. After just a few more seconds, Iruka suddenly couldn't take it anymore.

"What the hell do you want from me, Naruto?!"

He cocked his head to the side, silently pushing the sake cup towards Iruka.

"I'm not drinking that! I told you, I just want tea!"

Naruto's smile was soft, his tone quiet, "Then why didn't you light the fire under the kettle, Iruka-sensei?"

Iruka was trembling, he knew he was. Gritting his teeth he spoke slowly, "Because you were staring at me. Because you were making me so uncomfortable that I completely forgot. Let me rectify my mistake," He got up, but found his path blocked by the blonde.

"What's going on, Iruka-sensei? I've only ever seen you get so angry when I wrecked stuff…"

You're bloody wrecking my heart!
"I'm not angry, Naruto. I'm just… Alright, you might be starting to piss me off right now."

"Why?" He cocked his head, the look on his face one of innocent, mild curiosity.

Iruka let out a shaky breath, his voice trembling with emotion, "You're pushing it, Naruto…"

"I wouldn't be pushing if you'd just tell me," Iruka watched in horror as Naruto slowly inched closer to him. The only way to move back was to sit down. So he did.

"Stop it, Naruto. I'm not joking here. Give me some room to breathe."

"No," Leaning over, the blonde supported his weight on his hands, one on the table, one on the back of Iruka's chair. His face so close that his breath tickled the sensei's skin, "Just tell me."

Iruka leaned back against the wall, squeezing his refusal out between his teeth, "Nothing to tell you."

He leaned in even closer, completely cornering the older man, "I beg to differ, Iruka-sensei…"

Something inside Iruka snapped and he found himself suddenly yelling, "Stop calling me that! Stop getting so close! Stop worrying about me! Stop it! Just stop, damnit!"

Startled, Naruto moved away from him, hurt clear on his face, "I'm sorry, Iruka-sensei… I never meant to hurt you…" Tears welled up in big, blue eyes and Iruka couldn't hold himself back. Moving quickly, he got to his feet, wrapping his arms around the crying Uzumaki.

"No I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you, no matter what's going on. I shouldn't have yelled at you…"

He wrestled himself free, a small frown on his face as cerulean eyes locked into hazel ones, "You always used to yell at me, why's that a problem all of the sudden? I don't care that you yell, but… Why aren't I allowed to worry about you? Or get close to you? Why do you insist on pushing me away?"

Swallowing hard, Iruka tried to find his voice, barely managing a whisper, "I'm not pushing you away, Naruto… I just can't handle that you seem so intent on getting me to talk to you right now. I thought we were just going to chat a little, have some fun. But then all of the sudden you turn around and –" He couldn't continue, tears streaking his face.

Naruto sighed, "I'm sorry, Iruka-sensei. But you've been acting weird from the first time I saw you today – no actually, you've been acting weird for months now… And I just… I don't understand…"

And you never will…
"I'm sorry, I really am. I didn't notice I was worrying you, really. But I'm fine, Naruto. Like I said, I just have some stuff to figure out, that's all."

"Is it work?"

He shook his head softly, a wistful smile on his face, "If only it was that simple…"

"So it's that, then…" Naruto slumped back into his chair, taking the sake cup and tipping it back.

Iruka frowned in confusion, "It's what, then?"

"That thing that you don't talk about even though half the village knows…" He poured himself another cup, emptying it in one go.

Iruka swallowed, "Uh… What does half the village think they know exactly…?"

Naruto just shrugged, pouring himself another shot, bringing the cup to his lips he said, "That you're gay."

Iruka felt like the earth had given way under his feet, the sky came down to crush him and all the air had disappeared from his lungs and all around – all at once. His knees gave way and he dropped himself back on the chair, "I'm what now?" He squeaked.

Naruto just shrugged again, a soft smile on his face, "It's not like anyone has a problem with it, you know…" He refilled the cup, sliding it over to Iruka once more. The older man didn't hesitate, throwing the sake back before moving to refill the cup himself. After tipping back another three cups or so, he felt like maybe he could breathe again.

"I don't see why anyone would have a problem with assuming such a thing. I have a problem with the fact that they're all lying about me."

The blonde regarded him with weary eyes, "You're not exactly convincing me here, you know…"

He tipped back another cup, frowning as the bottle wouldn't give him any more, "I don't know what you're talking about, Naruto," He didn't look up at the younger man, still angrily staring at the empty cup.

"I'm talking about what a horrible liar you are, Iruka-sensei. It's obvious and I don't care and you're still trying to deny it. That's just stupid."

"You know what's stupid?" Iruka got to his feet, searching the cabinets for more alcohol without even thinking about what he was doing right now, "What's stupid is that you all seem to think you know so much about me, when all you really have to go on are mindless rumors and lack of proper evidence," His searching fingers found another bottle, shochu. He unscrewed the cap and emptied about half the bottle in one long swig before moving to sit back at the table. Naruto was still looking at him with eyes that told him he wasn't buying any of this, and that Iruka's refusal to be honest was just tiring. But the sensei ignored it, "I'm not, okay? Stop assuming stuff when you should know better," He took another swig of his shochu, refusing to look at the younger man.

Naruto sighed, "Whatever you want, Iruka-sensei. Whatever you want…"

He frowned, "What I want, is for you to drop the subject already…"

Another sigh emanated from the blonde, "Why?"

"Because it's a bloody lie!"

"If it's a lie, why are you getting so upset about it?"

Iruka gritted his teeth, "How would you feel if people called you… Gay, behind your back?!"

"They don't. Most of them already know I am. The ones that don't… I guess they just don't care enough to see what's right in front of them…"

Iruka froze on the spot, bottle halfway up to his lips. His words came out very slow, "Then… What about Sakura…?"

Naruto shrugged, "Childhood insecurities. Besides, you can't really call Sakura much of a girl, now can you? Anyway, maybe it's more like bi with a huge preference for guys, I don't know. Doesn't matter, anyway. Why do you keep trying to push the conversation away from you?"

He swallowed, then took another large sip of liquor, "I'm not."

"Yes, you are," The blonde pointed out, "But now that you've finally heard me tell you what most already know… Why are you still trying to deny it?"

"I'm not denying anything, I'm calling half the village liars," He emptied the bottle, frowning as he shook it once more. There was no sound to indicate there was any left and Iruka got up in search for more. Blue eyes followed him as he swayed slightly across the kitchen.

"You should probably get that tea by now…"

"Shut up," He rummaged through the cabinets again, tears clouding his vision.

"So… What's his name?"

"I said, shut up," The tears were now apparent in his voice, but Iruka hardly noticed, his hands still searching for something to numb the pain, ease the fear.

Warm arms wrapped around him from behind, gently pulled him along, away from any liquor his cabinets might still hold. Into to living room where he was gently pushed onto the couch, Naruto sitting down beside him, "It's okay, Iruka-sensei…"

"Shut up! I told you to shut the hell up!" Sobbing desperately, he curled himself into a little ball, resisting fiercely as those same warm and caring arms wrapped around him again, pulling him against the younger body that haunted his dreams, "Let go of me!"

Naruto sighed, but let go. Moving over to sit on the chair across from Iruka, "What's his name, Iruka-sensei?"

"Why are you still asking about it? There's no freaking guy! Alright?!"

"Whatever you say…" It was clear he didn't believe Iruka, and when the brunette glanced at him through his eyelashes he found the younger man to be staring out the window, chin resting in his hand, the elbow supported by the armrest. The corners of his mouth were turned down, a small frown on his face.

"Naruto…" He whispered, not sure if he was answering the question after all, or if he was just trying to get his friend to look at him. He succeeded in the latter, at least. Blue eyes darted in his direction, while his body stayed in position.

"Yeah?"

Iruka cleared his throat, his fingers running across the scar on his face, his tone even softer than before as his heart made a decision his mind was still objecting against, "His name's Naruto Uzumaki…"

He watched his former student blink, the hand supporting his chin fell to his lap as finally Naruto turned to face him again. He cocked his head slightly, his tone soft as he regarded Iruka with an unreadable expression in his eyes, "At least now I know why you've been trying to keep your distance so much…"

Iruka shrugged uncomfortably, curling himself up a little tighter as he pressed his forehead against his knees.

"You thought I was going to hate you for that, didn't you?"

The tiniest of nods shook the brunette's head.

"I don't. Just so you know."

Another small shrug from Iruka.

"I have a boyfriend, though."

No response.

"You're not even going to look up at me again?"

A soft shake of Iruka's head.

"That's kind of harsh, you know…"

He shrugged again.

"You wanna know his name?"

He shook his head almost violently.

"Guess I can't blame you. Easy enough to find out if you want, though."

Iruka shrugged.

"Why me, Iruka-sensei?"

"Stop calling me that…" His voice was tiny, and another quiet sob shook his body.

"Can't. Still, why me?"

No response.

Naruto sighed softly, "Fine… How long, then?"

"Years…"

Suddenly, the blonde cursed, "Damnit! Fuck, fuck, fuck!"

Confused, Iruka looked up. Naruto had risen out of the chair, his fists repeatedly coming down on his own hips, violently so. A deep frown all but distorted his features as he kept muttering curses, "Naruto…?"

Cerulean eyes sought out hazel ones, his mouth and body slowly stilling, "You should have told me…. Years? Really? Do you have any idea how long I've been pining over you? And when I finally give up… Damnit! Kiba's already talking marriage, and now you tell me?!"

Iruka blinked, "Kiba?" He blinked again, untangling his limbs so he properly sat on the couch, his arms resting on his knees, "You're talking marriage with Kiba?!"

The blonde on the other side of the coffee table crossed his arms, "What of it?"

Again, Iruka blinked, "Kiba Inuzuka?"

A frustrated sigh escaped Naruto, "That's what I told you. Kiba Inuzuka, my boyfriend," A wry smile graced his lips, "Not exactly my first choice, but there you have it. Kiba Inuzuka, the guy that's been hinting at a ring around my finger for months. I honestly thought you'd heard and that that was the reason for your sudden withdrawal…"

"Uh… No," Iruka got up, walking back to the kitchen to light the fire under the kettle after all. When he returned to the living room, Naruto hadn't moved, "I withdrew because… I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't stand to be close to you but not… Close to you…" His fingers found the scar again, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip hard enough to draw blood, "And now it seems I was right…"

"No you're not. Didn't I just tell you? I've been waiting for you all these years. No way am I going through with that now!"

He sighed, "Yes you are, Naruto. Because I'm not going to give you another option."

Blue eyes widened, "You're going to walk away now of all times?"

"I'm removing myself from the equation, yes," He deliberately kept his tone calm, "I'll be re-enlisting for active duty starting tomorrow. When's the wedding?"

"You can't do this…" A mere breath.

A humorless chuckle shook the older man, "Oh, yes I can. Watch me. When's the wedding, Naruto? I'll make sure to be good and far away from home."

"Why?" Tears gathered in his eyes as he stood frozen.

"You chose Kiba for a reason, Naruto. And the first choice is hardly ever the best."

Eyes narrowed and Naruto yelled, "Stop being the damned sensei!"

"I am. Starting tomorrow I'll be an active chuunin once more," He crossed his arms before his chest, leaning against the back of the couch for support.
This is better. He chose Kiba for a reason, even if I can't see it. I'm too old, too rusted in my hiding. I wouldn't be good for him. I've never even… No, this is better.

Cerulean eyes were squeezed shut for a moment, and the younger man bit his lip, "You're drunk. You hardly know what you're saying right now because you're drunk. I'm just going to hold on to that, because there's no way in this world that you can actually mean what you just said. You're drunk. And you're going to sleep that off. So I'm leaving," And so he did. He left swiftly and silently and Iruka was glad about that because the moment the front door fell closed, the sense dropped to his knees and cried his heart out.

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END OF PART ONE

A/N: Trust me Jaz, I'm working on it. In between everything else I try to squeeze in enough computer time to give you the pressie you deserve! ;)
Hope you like part one, hope you'll like part two and three as well. Hope that by the end of this, you'll find I did the pairing justice ^.^