Donald banged on his locker door, "Open you dumb slut!" he screamed at the inanimate object. He was going to be late for his first class, life had been pretty tough this year, his parents had got him the wrong type of sports car for his birthday, making him look like a fool.

Suddenly, Donald felt a a presence beside him, a strong, authoritative, presence. He turned and saw an upperclassmen by his side, "Here, let me help you with that," said Vladimir Putin, only the most popular boy in school. Donald couldn't believe his eyes, he was amazed as Vladimir opened the locker with ease, and then dreamily gazed down at him. "T-thank you," Donald stuttered out in disbelief. "No problem," he paused, "you better get to class, or you might be late." Then, the handsome junior turned and headed to his class. Donald was left clouded in disbelief and a strange feeling that he couldn't shake.

…..

After third period, Donald headed to the lunchroom. It was more difficult than usual for him to pay attention during classes, of course the teachers were no less boring than any other year, but something was nagging at him, something about Vladimir…

When Donald got the the lunchroom, he realized he had no where to sit. Well, more like there was no where reasonable for him to sit. There was no way he would be caught sitting at a table with Hilary Clinton, she was one of, many of, the biggest bitches in the school. He wouldn't sit next to Jeb Bush unless it was the apocalypse, and even then it was a fat chance, Jeb is a giant nerd. It seemed there was no rational place to sit, everybody sucked ass. Donald found an empty table and began to pick through his lunch, "Not very appetizing, is it?" said a familiar voice, Donald looked up and sure enough, "Is this seat taken?" Vladimir Putin wanted to sit with him. Be cool Donald, you're a cool guy, be cool, Donald pep talked himself, "Sure I don't see why not," he breathed an internal sigh of relief. "So, did you make it to your class on time?" Donald was staring directly into Vladimir's beautiful blue eyes, it was mesmerizing. "M-my class?" He was lost in a beautiful, icey ocean, "Yes, your class this morning?" Donald snapped from his phantasy, and began blushing furiously. "Y-yeah, I got there on time," Donald let out a small laugh, "Barely, Mr. Hagel almost didn't let me in, what a moron." He had avoided any questions, so far, but another mess up like that and Donald might lose the only person worth talking to in this loser school.

…..

Donald was almost through with his first week of school, it was thursday and tomorrow night was the first football game, even though everyone on the football team were terrible failures. That's why Vladimir went fishing instead, Donald wished Vladimir would take him on one of his fishing trips. Just the two of them, skewering worms together, watching the sunset…

What? I'm not gay! Donald tried his hardest to pay attention to his algebra teacher, but he couldn't stop thinking about Vladimir, and it was only halfway through second period. He wished it would just finally be lunch, the only time Donald saw Vladimir all day. He also wished his algebra teacher were less of a dumb lightweight. Stupid bitch, Donald thought. Women are horrible, not like Vladimir.. "Donald, can you answer the question on the board please?" He prepared the most snarky of remarks, "I could, but I don't want to," Donald replied, he was met with laughter from the whole room. "Donald, come up here and answer the question on the board," he reluctantly pulled himself up and headed to the front of the room. He answered the question easily, math was so easy. Mrs. Vail assigned homework, and a few minutes later the bell rang. One more period, thought Donald, then it's lunch.

Earth Science was Donald's least favorite class out of all of them. Some dumb girl stood in front of the class and said, the earth is round, there's some dirt and some water, then the whole class clapped for her. There was probably some other stuff about science and whatever, but that wasn't important to Donald. Vladimir was important to Donald. Donald thought about being with Vladimir at the football game, it would be cold, and Donald could cuddle up next to Vladimir, and maybe they would ever, NO. Donald interrupted his own thoughts, I AM NOT GAY. And more important, Vladimir isn't gay. He doesn't and wouldn't like me like that,, NOT THAT I LIKE HIM LIKE THAT… the teacher droned on about water being wet, and Donald kept thinking about Vladimir, maybe if he just asked him if he was going to the football game tomorrow, they could "hang out" together. Yeah, "hang out," Donald thought. Maybe nothing would happen, but it wouldn't matter, as long as he was next to Vladimir, the night would be perfect.

Then the bell rang, it was time to put Donald's plan into action.

Donald headed towards his normal lunch tabled and quickly sat down, waiting for Vladimir to sit in his normal seat. Any minute now, Donald would be sitting next to Vladimir, and looking into his cold blue eyes. Five minutes passed, then five minutes became ten minutes, then ten minutes became fifteen. Before he knew it, lunch was almost over and Vladimir was no where in sight. Donald left the lunch room with nothing accomplished.