"Hey, Mordecai, it's Margaret. Just call me once you get this message. We need to talk," Margaret muttered with heavy disappointment. She lowered her phone, setting it down on the table with a sigh.
Margaret slumped back into her chair, returning her attention to the book sprawled out in front of her. The book was as thick as that of a telephone. The robin stifled a groan and rubbed her eyes, resting her cheek on her feathered hand. She was beginning to regret going to all of those sorority parties on campus. She knew she had to study, and yet she carelessly blew it off like a foolish teenager.
Remind you of anyone? Her mind ridiculed. Margaret laughed haughtily, shoving the thought into the further recesses of her mind. She focused on the text, a spot of yellow light thrown across the pages from the dim glow of the lamp seated beside her.
Just focus, Margaret.
Her mind seemed to defy the command, and continued to wander to places far from the material she was reading. The fatigue was dampening her productivity, and not even all of the cups of coffee she had glugged down could make her focus.
Margaret scrubbed her eyes for the umpteenth time, reaching for her pen to force her sleepy conscious to scrawl down the notes she needed for her class. Her gaze redirected to her phone. The small device shelled with a black outer layer was lying on its face, just pleading for her to use it. She reached her hand towards it, but paused in hesitation before her slim fingers could grace the casing.
Call him! her mind seemed to scream. Forget about studying, just call Mordecai.
Margaret eyed the device with longing, her hand remaining suspended in mid air as she weighed out the factors. She knew she had to study, but maybe it wouldn't hurt to take a short break. She chewed her lip as she wondered what the jay was doing at the moment. It had been so long since she heard from him. Evidently, her desire won out, she turned it over and hit redial.
The dial tone began to ring out. Her fingers drummed against the wooden surface as she waited anxiously for a response from the other end of the line. The phone rang a few more times, before the answering machine picked up.
"Yeah-uh! it's Mordecai! I can't come to the phone right now, so just leave a message and I'll get back to you!"
Margaret felt a frown ease its way through. A beep alerted her to speak once his recorded message ended. She instantly hung up, knowing she had already flooded his voicemail with well over a thousand messages. The screen changed back to its main setting as a response to her request. From underneath the small icons displayed the smiling face of Mordecai as he held Margaret close to his chest; her loving gaze fixed on the blue jay holding his hand in a peace sign.
Margaret blinked slowly, things had been so hectic that she rarely even had time for her phone. The wallpaper never stood out until now- she had almost forgotten it was there. The photo had been a happy memory at the time it was taken, now it was just a painful reminder of the life she left behind. The smile they wore sent a chill down the avian's spine. She shut her phone off and placed it beside her notebook, making a quick note to delete it later.
She rested her back against the chair and stared across the room. The photo had caused so many hidden feelings to resurface; ones she hadn't felt since that fateful night at Steak me Amadeus. She shook off the sudden feeling of dismay and began scribbling her jottings on the sheet of paper, the music of the radio playing in the backdrop.
"Margaret, there's something I need to tell you..."
Her hand froze. The writing utensil pointed at the paper, its flow squandered. She knew that voice; it was his voice. An image conjured up in her mind's eye of a tall slender blue jay, he waved at her with a warm smile. Margaret quickly shook her head, and looked back at her notes.
However, Mordecai's voice continued to haunt her inner thoughts; an obvious rendering of her guilty subconscious. Gnashing her teeth together, she applied a greater pressure to the nib of her pen and tried to drown it out with the dull readings from the text. This proved to be fruitless.
"The last few weeks I have spent with you have been the best weeks of my life..."
Images moved before her eyes accompanying the sentences running wild. They were knelt behind a table as the barrage of bullets rang out. Mordecai held her hands in his, there was pure ecstasy in his eyes gleaming of high hopes for a prosperous future together.
"Margaret, will you be my girlfriend?"
Margaret dropped the pen onto the lined paper, unaware she had still been writing. She ran her hand through her disheveled hair and faced the stained page with a grimace. Written multiple times across the paper was "I'm sorry," only a couple lines actually held notes. Margaret immediately ripped it from its binds, and crumpled the parchment in her fist with a grunt of frustration.
She lunged for her phone, nearly toppling the lamp and pencil holder, and frantically dialled the number she had now known to heart.
Once again, all she heard from the other end was the empty voice recording telling her to leave yet another message. With an exasperated sigh, Margaret did as she was told.
"Hello, it's me," she began. "Mordecai, please pick up. I'm sorry for everything. Can you hear me?"
It was apparent he couldn't or was rather choosing to ignore her pleas- that should have been clear with her first hundred failed attempts. Margaret scurried over to her bed and reached underneath her pillow, pulling out a small red book.
The robin reached her hands around her neck, fumbling with the latch of her necklace. After a few tries the chain came loose; she slipped it off and inserted the key into the golden lock. With a swift flick of her wrist, the lock loosened. She pried the cover back, revealing a page filled with a collage of various doodles and her name.
Margaret quickly skimmed through the entries filling the small book, ignoring the nostalgic feeling surfacing at the happy memories. She stopped at a lone page with only the digits of what looked to be a phone number written across. Once again, she punched a number into the keypad and waited with baited breath. After the second ring another voice came through.
"Hello, this is Two Peaks park. Benson speaking"
Margaret sat on the soft comforter, relieved she had gotten through to someone. Benson, she chewed it over like a piece of steak, the name sounded familiar; she vaguely remembered Mordecai telling her it was the name of his boss. She had even seen the no nonsense manager of the park a few times. Of course they didn't talk much during those brief encounters.
"Benson, this is Margaret," she spoke as calmly as her nerves would allow. Her hands began to tremble with her growing anxiety until her whole body was shaking. She was glad he couldn't see through the receiver.
Is this how Mordecai always felt?
The gum ball dispenser paused for a moment and responded. "Oh, hey Margaret. What can I do for you?"
Margaret's chest tightened, it was now or never. She could feel her heart ramming against her sternum as her confidence faltered. She unconsciously rubbed the nape of her neck, the temperature in the room having spiked a few degrees.
"I-is Mordecai there?" she stammered, her heart gearing into overdrive. "I was hoping I could speak to him. It's really important," she practically shouted over her rapid pulse.
Fortunately, the sudden change in tone seemingly went unnoticed by Benson, who politely replied. "He's not here at the moment. Is there a message you want me to give him?"
Margaret's heart sank at the realization that the elusive blue jay had eluded her yet again. Her eyes traveled to the floor, she shook her head, trying to hide the disappointment in her voice.
"No, Thank you for your time."
Before he could respond, she set the phone aside and flopped down the bed; the springs moaned slightly in retaliation against the newly applied weight. She let out a sigh of defeat, dropping her hands to her lap. The book still lay on her comforter, waiting for her next move; beside the number was a past entry. She gathered it into her hands, and read through.
July 9th
These past weeks have been wonderful. I've never known a guy quite like Mordecai, when I'm around him I always feel warm inside. He makes me feel special; like I'm more than just a girl who serves coffee. I feel like for the first time in my life I can actually be in a loving relationship that can go somewhere.
I'm glad things have finally stopped being so awkward with us. I was wondering when he would ask me out. Now, hopefully Rigby will make his move with Eileen. Haha, wouldn't that be something?
Dark blotches stained the paper as the ink began to blur and smear from her bitter tears. She adverted her gaze to the reel of photos taped beneath the passage; all of them depicted the two of them together before the break up. Just the sight of the blue jay played her heart strings like a violin, those happy times now brought her such grief and sorrow. No longer able to look at them, Margaret quickly turned the page before anymore of the entry would spoil. She flipped to a fresh page, and started to write.
September 5th
Another failed attempt. I must have called a thousand times to tell him I'm sorry for everything, but when I call he never seems to be home. I should have known this would happen, how could I be so stupid?! Ugh! Why did I even get involved with Mordecai? I never wanted any of this to happen. I didn't think I would actually get into this school, how was I supposed to know? Mordecai means a lot to me, we had something special, but there was a chance I would never get the opportunity to leave my dead end job and make something of my life, I had to take it. I didn't realize it would be so difficult. I never meant to hurt him. I hope he can forgive me.
At least I can say I tried :,(
Margaret closed the entry and returned her diary to its hiding place. She hobbled back to her desk and sat down, training her gaze on the text. Unfortunately, her mind was in another place. The words slipped by without any recollection as she wallowed in the memories shared with Mordecai, good and bad. Margaret sighed and propped her head up on her hand, at this rate she knew she would flunk out, but damn it she couldn't shake him from her mind.
She held up her phone and glumly eyed the background, wishing she could go back to that moment and stay there. The tip of her index finger resorted to tracing along Mordecai's face, outlying everyone of his features. She wished he was beside her and that she was actually caressing his soft feathers. She dialled his number again.
There was no answer.
She punched redial; again no answer.
Again.
"Yeah-uh! It's Mordecai!-" Margaret screamed in frustration and punted the device across the room. It collided with the wall and fell to the floor, although the automated message continued to play.
Margaret dropped her head into her arms, and screamed. Mordecai's incessant voice was taunting her with its repeated message. She wanted to punch him for doing this to her, for making her feel all of this shame and guilt. She smacked her head on the table repeatedly, muttering curses under her breath. The statement finally ended with a beep. She stood up and went to retrieve her phone, as well as examine the damage she had caused.
The screen lit up signalling that she hadn't broken it- which came as a bit of relief, considering this was a brand new item. Sadly, that didn't mean that there wasn't damage; a jagged crack spanning at a three inch radius traveled down the left side of the screen, straight down Mordecai's face.
Something about seeing the jay's fractured face made her snap. The robin collapsed to the floor and started to cry; tears of frustration and remorse rolling down her cheeks. Her knees stung from the hard, unforgiving ground, but she didn't care. She needed Mordecai, she longed to be held by his strong wings and feel the vibrations of his beating heart as he dried her tears. Alas, she was alone in the hollow dorm room with no one around to hear her or dry her tears.
A tear splattered onto the screen.
It felt like it had been years since she last saw the blue jay and felt his warm embrace, when it had only been months since their bittersweet goodbye at the airport. At that moment she wished she could go back to the evening, so much more could have been said.
Margaret forced the door open with her hand and stepped outside into the evening air. The sun greeted her with a warm welcome, casting its light across her tear stained face as it began to descend beyond the horizon; the warmth from its rays bathing the buildings of Two Peaks in a rich, golden glow of light. A few feet in front of her a familiar red vehicle waited, a blue jay resting in the driver's seat. She vaguely recalled riding in the car with him before; during her first trip with the jay to the airport.
Margaret inhaled a deep breath of air and approached the vehicle. Mordecai turned his head in her direction. Their eyes met, only for a split second. He pushed open the door, and wandered to the trunk in the back. Margaret wordlessly set her luggage inside and walked back around to the front, neither speaking a word. They both seated themselves, and Mordecai started the engine. Margaret directed her attention to the window, unable to make eye contact with him. The buildings and pedestrians drifted past as the car carried them down the street and onto the highway.
Throughout the drive the avians maintained their oath of silence; the only sound to be heard was the radio as it blasted music from the speakers, though they paid no mind. Margaret's unsteady focus shifted from the window to her hands, and back again.
She managed to bring herself to look at Mordecai; from where she sat she could see tears collecting in his eyes. She wanted to say something to make him feel better, but what could she say? The outcome was inevitable: she was leaving, nothing would ever change that. She closed her beak, and turned back to the window. The drive to the airport was spent in dismal silence.
Mordecai parked the car in the nearest available space, and popped open the trunk. Once Margaret had collected her luggage, the two avians headed towards the entrance. The place was as busy as usual; flooded with crowds of pedestrians wandering to and fro, boarding and departing their flights to locations unknown.
Margaret stayed where she was, overwhelmed and unsure what to do. She suddenly felt Mordecai's feathery hand grasp hers; their fingers interlocked with one another upon contact. She relaxed and looked at their intertwined hands, then back at him with a grateful smile.
"Thanks...for the ride"
He looked into her misty eyes, and nodded. "It's no problem, Margaret."
The two stared down at the floor in silence, after what felt like an eternity Mordecai broke it. "So, this it, huh?"
She nodded. "Yeah, I guess so."
"I'll miss you"
"I'll miss you too," she said with a sad smile.
Mordecai wrapped his wings around her small frame, and hugged her tightly. She slid her wings under his and hugged him back, breathing in the strong scent of his cologne.
"Take care of yourself, okay? Get that degree," he said with slight enthusiasm, although she could sense the sadness in his words.
"I will," Margaret laughed softly.
She gently pulled away from the warmth of his embrace, his wings falling limp at his sides. Her somber eyes remained locked onto his, the two gazing wordlessly into the dark pools of the other's pupils for the longest time. Mordecai gently caressed her face, and slowly pulled her into a kiss. Both lovers closed their eyes, enjoying the well needed moment.
Margaret felt the tips of his wings loop around her waist as he deepened the kiss. A moan of delight escaped her, she combed her wings through his hair; twirling the blue feathers around her fingers, before they secured themselves around his neck.
It must have been hours as they stood in the centre of the airport in the other's embrace like the ending of some cheesy romance flick, when it was only seconds. Neither wanted the moment to end, if some strange force froze them at that very moment they wouldn't care; they would have stayed like it until the end of time.
Unfortunately, it would end and when it did, they knew she would have to leave. His hot tears trailed down her neck to her shoulder, prompting tears of her own to escape. Margaret opened her eyes and pulled away, fighting the urge to cry.
She grabbed his hands, and looked up at him. "Goodbye, Mordecai," her voice shook with her hands. "Don't forget me, okay?"
Mordecai managed a small grin through his tears. "How could I?"
Margaret smiled back, her hands reluctantly slipping out of his. She grabbed the handle of her suitcase, and started towards the terminal. She spun around midway to send him one last smile with a friendly wave of her hand. Mordecai waved back.
Then he was gone.
She didn't know when she would see him again, if ever. She vanished into the swarm of pedestrians, her head held high in determination. After placing her luggage in the luggage hold she boarded the plane; the flight that would take her away from Two Peaks, from Mordecai...
The vibration of her cellphone brought her head back up. Margaret sniffled, and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. She reached for it, holding onto the slightest morsel of hope that it was Mordecai, and that he wanted to talk. Sadly, it wasn't a response from the jay; instead it was a text from Eileen.
Frowning, Margaret ignored the message; she didn't feel like talking to her at the moment. She brought up her list of contacts again and scrolled through, stopping at his name. Her thumb hovered over the contact, a part of her longing to try to call him again. She didn't want things to be this way.
The guilt of it all weighed down on her like an elephant sitting on her chest; squeezing all of the breath from her lungs, and no matter what she did she couldn't rid herself of it. It seemed that was the way it was going to stay. With a resigned sigh she abandoned the notion, shoving her phone into her pocket.
Forget about Mordecai, he deserves better. It's your fault all of this happened, the robin thought grimly.
She sat in silence, her knees hugged to her chest as she breathed in deeply through her nostrils to calm herself. It seemed to work, she had stopped shaking. The robin steadily pulled herself off of the floor, and grabbed her jacket from the closet before leaving her dorm room.
The lavish corridors of Milten were surprisingly vacant; mostly due to the fact that everyone was either outside or studying. Margaret wandered down through, her gaze lingering from the various framed photos lining the walls, to the large trophy case displaying the awards the school had won over the years.
Finally, she reached the main doors and ventured outside. A quaint breeze kissed her cheek, and she instantly felt better. It was overcast outside, although a few students were out on campus; some chatting while others had their nose deep in a book. Margaret descended down the stairs and sat on the bottom step. She inhaled the cool air with a smile, and opened one of the books she had brought with her.
She had only gone through one paragraph, when she noticed something peculiar. The robin lifted her head and squinted her eyes, she couldn't quite tell what it was. There was something different about the garbage can, she squinted harder. There appeared to be a pink object resting atop the bin.
Her interest piqued, Margaret abandoned her book and trotted over to it. Her eyes widened as she lifted it from the trash. It was an article of clothing, more significantly it was her sweater. She throughly scanned the garment in disbelief, her hands trembling.
"I thought I left this home," she whispered.
The robin turned it over in her hands, searching for the indication that it was indeed hers. A blue feather fell out, and landed at her feet. Margaret inhaled sharply, she knew those definitive markings anywhere
"Mordecai?"
She looked around her surroundings, wondering if she would catch a glimpse of the blue jay. The rancid odor permeating from the article of clothing told her he was long gone, and it had been there for quite a while.
Margaret fumbled in her pocket for her cell, and quickly dialed another number. Her mind was spinning with unanswered questions; if Mordecai was here, than why didn't he pay her a visit? Why was her sweater in the trash? How long had it been since the jay wandered campus? The dial tone droned on for a brief second before someone answered.
"Hello?" they asked drowsily.
"Rigby, it's Margaret"
"Uh...Rigby's not here at the moment," Rigby panicked, suddenly more aware. "Please leave a message after the beep...beeeeeeeep."
Margaret's frown deepened." I know you're there, Rigby," she rebutted with a roll of her eyes.
Rigby groaned in response. "Ugh, fine you got me. What do you want?" he whined in his usual lazy demeanor.
The anger erased from her face. "Is Mordecai there?" she wondered hopefully.
"No," his answer was blunt. Margaret frowned, she couldn't tell wether he was lying or not. She looked at the blue feather she was rubbing between her thumb and middle finger. "Is he okay?" she asked softly. "It's been so long since I last heard from him."
"Huh? Oh yeah, he's a trooper," Rigby reassured absentmindedly.
Margaret tightened her jaw, feeling a strong urge to reach her hand through the phone, and choke the raccoon for his lack of concern. She glared at the ground before her face relaxed slightly.
"Well, just tell him I called."
The call ended, and she slumped dejectedly against the bin. She hadn't gotten the answers she hoped to receive, but at least she knew he was okay. Her gaze fell back on the sweater, did he even know she received it? She had to be sure. She jogged back to her notebook, ripped another page out, and uncapped her pen.
Hey, Mordecai
I just received my sweater, thank you for returning it to me. Look, I know it's been awhile, but I really would like to talk. If you think I'm too busy and that's the reason you haven't been returning my calls, don't worry, I'm not. Can we talk?
She read it over, and scrunched her face up in displeasure. "Ugh, too desperate," she crumpled it into a ball, and removed another page from her book.
"Hey, Margaret"
Margaret let out a startled yelp, nearly knocking her book to the ground. She quickly spun around, her heart rate once more hitting a spike. A blonde girl stood behind her wearing a Milten hoodie and jeans. She held a couple books under her arm. The girl's face donned a quizzical look as she studied the avian.
Margaret controlled her heart beat, and smiled at the girl. "Oh, hi," she greeted with a slight jerk of her hand.
"How's the studying coming?" her friend asked, she craned her neck to sneak a peak over the avian's shoulder at her work.
Margaret hastily hunched over the letter, her cheeks flushing a darker red. "Oh, it's coming," she replied with a slight chuckle.
The girl raised an eyebrow, and studied her with a suspicious expression on her face. The robin began to feel beads of sweat collecting on her temples under her observant glare. She desperately hoped she would leave so she wouldn't have to explain the situation to her.
After a few tense seconds, the blonde's facial features relaxed. She shrugged her shoulders, "well, don't study too hard."
Margaret sighed with relief as she watched her disappear back inside. She crammed the crumpled paper into the back of her book, and grabbed her phone.
"Come on, Mordecai, pick up," she pleaded quietly. The call redirected to voice mail, she hung her head and sighed.
Margaret sat at the lone table, a steaming cup of coffee clutched in her trembling fingers. The bright yellow washed walls of the Coffee shop frowned down disapprovingly at her as if they were screaming she was no longer welcome.
It had been a few months since her return to Two Peaks. Things had changed that was sure, somehow the city seemed different in her eyes. Everything remained the same since she departed for Milten; the same businesses and people, still it just felt strange to the avian. She stared down into the dark beverage, allowing the steam to grace her face, quelling the mixture of emotions raging from within.
Since her return to Two Peaks, Margaret remained reclusive around her once close friends. Her new career kept her occupied and she had met new colleges at the news station, but she still found herself missing her old friends. Those who were once close to her now seemed like strangers. She was an outsider standing outside of the walls of what used to be her life. She no longer belonged in Two Peaks, in Mordecai's life. Margaret finished her drink and left.
The rain pelted her jacket as she trudged aimlessly through the streets she had grown up on, that now seemed so strange. As she walked past the park, distant laughter alerted her that she wasn't alone. Margaret turned her head towards the gates. A blue jay and what looked to be a cloud shaped woman walked along hand in hand. A umbrella was hoisted above their heads, sheltering them from the water droplets.
The woman shook her head at the avian, a smile adorning her pale face. "Mordecai Quintel, you are such a turd," she chortled with a frisky nudge to his shoulder.
Mordecai shrugged. "So what if I am?" he commented nonchalant, the jay's face twisted into a devious smile. "At least I'm not wet!" he snatched the umbrella from her hand, and dashed across the damp grass.
The girl gasped, and held her jacket over her head. "Hey! Get back here!" she cried. She sprinted after the laughing blue jay, struggling to keep the jacket above her without tripping.
"I'm getting wet!"
"That's the point!"
The nimbus picked up the pace, and tackled him to the muddy ground. The earthy substance latched onto their skin and feathers. The woman stood up, and looked down at her stained shirt with a pout.
"Oh, great"
Mordecai tipped his head back and laughed at the adorable way her lip protruded. She shot a glare at the jay.
"It's not funny," she defended, folding her arms crossly.
"Oh come on, it's pretty funny," he replied with a chuckle.
She sighed and rolled her eyes, her lips quirking into a small smile. "Okay, maybe it was a little funny."
"Yeah, it was!" Mordecai whooped.
The nimbus gave him a shove with a giggle, both guffawed loudly as the rain drenched them. They were unaware of certain crimson colored avian watching from the gate, her soul crushed.
So, that's what he's been doing all of this time, she noted with a frown.
Margaret didn't know why she stayed, she should have left right then and there; it would have saved her a lot of heart ache. Instead, she looked on as their laughter began to subside. Mordecai shivered furiously from the damp weather, and hugged his wings around his chest.
"Oh man, we're gonna have the flu," he stated with a chuckle, his wings trembling from the cold.
The nimbus sat up, and tossed her jacket at him. "Well, we wouldn't want that, you big dope," she giggled.
He wasted no time, shrugging the leather jacket on. "Thanks, CJ," he replied with a grateful smile.
She said nothing, only gazing at him with a vacant look in her eye. Mordecai opened his mouth to say something. She suddenly grabbed the lapels with her porcelain fingers and pulled him towards her, smothering him in a kiss. Mordecai's eyes widened, he slowly closed them and wrapped his wing around her waist, returning the kiss and forgetting the fact that they were both drenched from the head down.
Margaret's stomach churned as she suddenly felt a queasy feeling come over her. Seeing the blue jay kissing another woman had completely obliterated her fragile heart; the product of many heartbreaks.
She swallowed hard and quickly turned away, unable to observe the scene anymore. The avian continued down the sidewalk, dragging her feet through the puddles rippling with her heavy footsteps. She should have known something was amiss, why else would he ignore her calls? Here she was thinking something horrible had happened to him, when in reality he was locking lips with another.
Tears formed in her eyes, her hands clenched into fists at her sides. Margaret mentally kicked herself for loosing so much sleep over Mordecai; clearly he was quite content with his new lover. She couldn't help but feel betrayed, she didn't expect him to wait for her, but he could have at least been honest to her about it.
"He could have at least returned my calls," she thought bitterly.
Did he really have any idea what torture she was forced to endure because of him? In fact, she wanted to march back to the two and call him out on it. However, she didn't. Mordecai was happy, she couldn't do that to him, not after what she had done. No matter how hurt she was, she still cared about the jay. If this new girl made him happy, then so be it.
Margaret released her fists, and let out a futile sigh. She opened her eyes, feeling the rain water soaking through her feathers and hair as it fell down from the darkened sky.
She didn't bother running for shelter. She kept her eyes on the ground as the droplets targeted her, tracing the trails of the tears sliding down her cheek.
I wanted to make things right, but clearly it doesn't tear you apart anymore. I hope she makes you happy, Mordecai.