'Love is a weakness' was something that Lexa had learned the hard way.

Being raised a warrior, she knew that the tribe and the fight for survival were more important than anything and that feelings were dangerous for they could cloud your judgment.

Yet, she still had not been spared from falling in love at a young age.

And it was beautiful. And magical. And not as bad as anyone always said.

Until it wasn't, anymore.

Until she was ripped away from her, killed, gone forever.

Leaving only a voracious void that swallowed all that was good mercilessly and left you with nothing but pain and misery.

And the worst part was, that Lexa had no one to blame but herself.

Because she had been foolish enough to let herself get into it in the first place.

And because the reason her love was dead was because they wanted to get back at her.

But no, she would not be defeated by it.

Rather than drown in the pain, Lexa locked her heart away right there and then,

it was never to be touched again.

Because it was dangerous. Not just for herself. It couldn't end well.

As time passed, it got easier to handle.

It wasn't hard to simply concentrate on the task at hand,

to focus all of her energy into uniting the tribes and being a worthy leader.

It wasn't hard until she came along.

And with her did the trouble.

And the feelings.

And the urges.

Clarke.

Somehow she held the key and, just like that, managed to open up what Lexa had been working so long and hard on hiding. And there was nothing she could do.

Her strength, her passion, her fierceness – everything drew Lexa closer to her.

She longed for the other, longed for her to stay by her side.

And yet, in the end, she had to betray her.

Because she knew better than to put love before her responsibilities.

Knew better than to let her heart instead of her head act.

Once again she thought she had learned the lesson

but destiny had a different plan.

Destiny brought Clarke back to her.

Let them stay together.

Made Clarke forgive her, even.

Maybe she could love again. Maybe it was meant to be.

Clarke was strong, she could take care of herself.

Being with Lexa would not put her in even more danger.

So she accepted it. Opened up her heart and let someone back in.

Embraced every second she could spend with the blonde.

Them, watching the stars for hours, holding hands, sitting ever so closely.

Bathing in the lake together, in peace, until a splashing fight evolved.

Hunting together as a perfect union.

Being as close as possibly to each other, feeling the warmth, heat, pleasure and ecstasy.

Maybe it was possible to be a leader and still be happily in love at the same time after all.

Maybe it was possible to have both.

But

why was it, then, that

there was so much blood coming from the wound

and why was it that

Clarke was looking up to her with so much pain in her eyes

and why was it that

tears started to stream down her face as the other clutched Lexa's arm

and whispered a silent goodbye

before she closed her eyes

forever.