Dear my lovely tomato,
Erase erase erase.
Dear my sweet, cute, grumpy tomato,
Erase erase erase.
Dear my love, my world, my life, the most beautified tomato,
Erase erase erase.
Dear how the heck do you start letters like these?!
Erase erase erase erase erase.
Dear Lovi,
That's better.
How are you? I know it's only been about two days since I left, but I miss you! I miss seeing your face and hearing your voice.
Erase.
How are you? I know it's only been about two days since I left, but it feels more like two weeks. How is everyone? How's your cat doing? Did you ever go for that job interview? If not, then shame on you! I'm telling you, you should really consider it. There's no way they could turn you down.
Hope to hear from you soon!
Love, your friend, Antonio
Dear nerd,
Erase.
Dear asshole,
Erase.
Dear my cute, dorky Antonio,
ERASE.
Dear tomato bastard,
It'll do.
Hasn't been long enough since you've left. I'm doing okay. Everyone's doing okay, too. My cat's fine. She misses you, I think, but only because you used to bring her cat treats and catnip and shit. I didn't go for the interview because I'm a chicken. Maybe another day when I'm feeling more confident.
Anyways, how are you? Any snow where you are? Write me back ASAP.
From, Lovino
Dear Lovi,
You're so funny, Lovi! I laughed out loud at that first line. I'm glad to hear you and everyone are doing good! I miss your cat, too. Give her a hug and a scratch under the chin for me! You shouldn't wait too long for that interview thing, because you never know when someone's going to snatch that opportunity away from you. I'm sure that they'll hire you no matter what, Lovi.
I'm doing pretty good! I'm writing to you right now in a coffee shop, and I have to say, French coffee is pretty awesome. No snow yet, probably won't get any for quite some time. Next week I'm getting some time off to go do some sightseeing. Maybe I'll send you a picture from the top of the Eiffel Tower.
Talk to you soon!
Love, Antonio
Dear tomato bastard,
Of course you laughed, I'm a fucking comedian. I gave my cat your hug and scratch and the only thing she did in return was put her ass in my face and then lick her crotch. Don't rush me, you know I hate one-on-one interview talking things. I'm not exactly a people person. You see, this is why I need you back here, so you can teach me how to talk to people without entirely fucking things up.
French coffee is only awesome probably because they grind up the coffee beans in frog legs or something. It's definitely not as good as caffè italiano. And nothing you can see or eat in Paris will be half as good as Italian landmarks and my cooking. Everything those French fuckers can do is what I can do, only better. Nonetheless, do send me a picture and maybe I'll send you one in return.
From, Lovino
Dear Lovi,
Sorry this is so late! Apparently your letter got sent to the wrong apartment suite, so I didn't receive it until just today. Of course you're a comedian. Haha, I miss your cat so much. Makes me wish I had a pet. Maybe I should get one. Do people still get rabbits as pets? I think I'd be a rabbit person. Oh Lovi, you don't need me around to help you ace your interview, I know you can do it all by yourself! If you put your mind to it, you can do anything.
You're probably right about that. I don't doubt Italian coffee is better, or Italian cuisine. But Spanish food is pretty good, too, if I do say so myself. Lucky for you, I managed to take a selfie on the tower! Sorry it's a little crappy, I only had time to go to it in the evening, and I couldn't go to the top level because it was too windy. But here you go! The view is so gorgeous, I wish you could see it for yourself.
I won't be able to write to you next week, so I wish you a happy Thanksgiving! Eat lots of turkey and gravy and mashed potatoes!
Love, Antonio
Dear Antonio,
Thanks for sending me that picture of you. I thought the view was pretty, but I thought you were prettier.
ERASE ERASE ERASE ERASE.
You should've taken a better picture of the view; your stupid face ruined the whole thing.
Erase.
I guess that's a nice view. Not as nice as the view from the top of the Tower of Pisa, but still pretty nice. You're lucky you're not getting any snow yet, it's a fucking blizzard over here. I went to get the mail and the stupid cat ran out. She blended in with the snow so I couldn't find her for like twenty minutes. She was almost blue. I'm pretty sure people still get rabbits as pets. You do seem like a rabbit person. Oh, come on. I do need you. At least for moral support. And no, you telling me I can do it while you're halfway across the world doesn't count as moral support.
Spanish food is pretty good, my ass. Too little seasoning. Everything tastes like sandpaper. You're so biased, oh my God. Italian food is life. True fact. Asshole, how dare you not write to me. I was all alone for Thanksgiving, thanks to you. Feliciano went to visit his boyfriend so it was just my cat and I. At least I bought a turkey. Hopefully it'll last until Christmas and I won't have to buy another one.
I've enclosed a selfie of my own, fortunately for you. Found this ugly Christmas sweater on sale the other day and thought of you. Enjoy. Now it's your turn again. Go to Notre Dame for me and take millions of pictures.
From, Lovino
Dear Lovi,
Not as nice as the Tower of Pisa? And you're calling ME biased! Well, you better take me to Pisa and show me why it's better than Paris! Oh, my goodness, I hope your cat's okay! Give her ten extra cuddles for me to make sure she's okay! Maybe I'll get a rabbit. What do rabbits eat? Besides carrots, of course. And that totally counts as moral support! Come on, Lovi, don't be a butt. You don't need me at all. How about this? I'll take some pictures at Notre Dame if you go for the interview within the next week.
Your face has too little seasoning. You taste like sandpaper. You're ten thousand times more biased than I am. Aw, I'm so sorry, my little tomato. Next next Thanksgiving I'll be with you, I promise. Speaking of Christmas, what do you want? Since I'm here, I'll get you whatever you want.
You look so cute in your selfie! Or should I say, 'elfie'? LOL! Never thought I'd see the day where sweaters are sold with elves flipping the bird.
Love, Antonio
Dear Toni,
Do you want to fucking fight? I'll fight you on this. Pisa's better than Paris by one hundred and ten percent. My cat's fine. I tried giving her a cuddle and she whacked me on the nose. Thanks for that. I don't fucking know what rabbits eat, what the hell do I look like? A zoologist? They eat lettuce, don't they? Some kind of rabbit food. UGH, you're impossible. I went for the goddamn interview yesterday, I hope you're happy. It was so awkward. I'm pretty sure the interviewer thought I was some kind of retard. Don't ever make me do that again.
Ouch, what hurtful comebacks. I've certainly been bested. And sure, sure. How many times do I have to tell you, you bastard? Don't get me anything for Christmas. I don't want anything.
I'm broke as fuck, so just so you have something to remember me by this year, here's a painting I made the other day. Merry Christmas.
Fuck you.
From, Lovino
Dear mi tomate,
No, I don't want to fight you. I can't fight tomatoes. And we'll see about that. Good, you deserved a whack on the nose. Do you think rabbits also eat fruit? Like watermelon, or mango, or something? I don't know. And hooray! I'm so proud of you! I'm sure you'll get a call back from them in no time!
What do you mean, don't get you anything? Do you expect me to fly to Paris just to come back with no souvenirs for my little Lovino? That would be a disgrace! Also, even if you weren't going to do your interview, I was going to send you pictures of Notre Dame anyways. So here you go! I think I liked this place the most out of anything on this whole trip so far. Isn't it the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? When I went inside there was a sermon going on, and I got parts of it on video on my phone. Maybe I'll show it to you when I come back. I really wish you were here with me, Lovi. I wish you could see the things I saw. It's times like these when I realize really how lucky I am.
Thank you so much for the painting, Lovi, it's lovely! You're so talented, I'm jealous! I got you this Eiffel Tower statue thing that lights up. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Only if you're offering to.
Love, Antonio
Dear Toño,
We've been through this. I'm not a tomato. Fight me. You're such an asshole. Rabbits don't eat fruit, stupid. They can't digest fruit like we can. Though you shouldn't worry too much about what they eat, because I'm pretty sure they eat their own shit, too. Ugh, stop being so gaaaay. I doubt I'm getting any call from them any time soon.
Motherfucker, didn't I tell you not to get me anything? You're so dumb. But I guess it doesn't look terrible. Ugh, I'm so kicking your ass once you get back. I told you to get me a keychain, nothing more. You talking about Notre Dame is making me jealous. Are you sure you didn't just take these pictures off of Google? They look too good to be true. You and I should plan a trip together to Europe. Rome, maybe. Or someplace in Spain, I don't know. Just an idea. We don't have to.
Ugh, you wish I'd fuck you. Speaking of which, how's your love life? Spy any French women you like? I have to warn you, French girls don't shave, so when you do the do, you might get a little itchy.
From, Lovino
Dear Lovinito,
You ARE a tomato, and I'm not fighting you. Rabbits eat their own poo? That's gross. I so didn't need to know that. And don't be a Negative Nancy, I'm sure you'll get a call from them soon.
You're welcome! You're my little tomato, so you need something that's worth more than a stinking keychain, 'cause you're special. Those pictures are one hundred percent original, mi tomate. What kind of friend would I be if I sent you lame pictures from Google? Also, yes, definitely! We need to go to Europe together soon! I would love to go to Rome. Maybe you can show me around and we can go see some relatives of yours, maybe. That sounds like a lot of fun.
You're not wrong. And my love life is none of your beeswax. Although I have to admit, everyone here in France is absolutely gorgeous. The guys are like Adonis, and the women are carved from stone, I'm not even kidding. I feel so mediocre walking beside them. French girls aren't really my thing anyways, Lovi.
Less than a year until I come back home!
Love, Antonio
Dear Toni,
Go fuck yourself. Yes. rabbits eat their own poo. Your face is gross, so you did need to know that. I'll be the most Negative Nancy there is. I'm telling you, I fucked up pretty badly. It's been almost a month. They're not calling me back.
Ugh, why are you so stubborn? You never listen. And, really? You'd want to go to Rome with me?
Your love life is absolutely my beeswax, you shithead. I thought I was your best friend. We tell each other everything, don't we? Adonis, huh? Not bad. I hate to be cliché, but I'm sure they're not as gorgeous as Italians are. Heh. Wait, they're not your thing? What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Come home sooner, you idiot. I miss you.
Erase.
Come home soon.
From, Lovino
Dear Lovi,
Ooh, what if I already do? And ew, don't remind me. Maybe I won't get a rabbit after all. Boo, you suck. Come on, it couldn't have been THAT bad.
I'd love to go to Rome with you. I was planning on visiting Italy sometime soon, but it'd be a lot better to have an authentic Italiano by my side. You could translate for me and order food for me. It'd be great! Haha, I'm just pulling your leg. I know enough Italian to get by. I am practically Italian myself. Just call me Vivaldi.
Uh huh, sure. So you can ask me about MY love life, but I can't ask you about yours? That's not a fair game you're playing, Lovi. And oh, of course they're not as gorgeous as Italians. For sure. And what do you think it means? I don't like girls. I prefer guys.
I'll try to get home soon.
Love, Antonio
Dear Toni,
If you already do, I wouldn't even doubt it. You'd probably kill the rabbit accidentally anyways. And it really was that bad, you asshole.
Oh, wow, Toni, I can't believe you've been lying to me this whole time about your ethnicity. Alright, you little fraud, I suppose you and I can take a trip back to Italy where we came from, yes?
The only reason I don't let you know the details of my love life is because I don't even have one yet. Single as fuck, remember? I'm just curious about how many people were so unfortunate to bang you so far in your life, that's all. Wait, are you fucking kidding me? Did I read that right? You're gay? Well, shit, that changes a lot. Good, that means you can date me now.
Erase.
Oh, okay, let me rephrase: have you seen any French guys you like lately? And if you come out and tell me you're dating Francis or something I will never speak to you ever again.
Hurry up. Also, happy birthday, dickhead. Hope you had a good day.
From, Lovino
Dear Lovi,
Ahhh, sorry I haven't written back to you in forever, I've been really busy with university. Thanks for the birthday wish! I also hope YOU had a good birthday! You're getting older, you old man. Aww, you're mean. And stop being so dramatic, you're probably just overreacting. I bet you did just fine, Lovi. [drawing of a smiley face]
Great! I'm so glad we can finally go on a trip together, Lovi! Just the two of us! I bet we'll have a great time. We can go to Vatican City and visit the Vatican Museums, and the Vatican Gardens, and the St. Peter's Square, and the Sistine Chapel, and it'll be so much fun!
Oh, yeah, I'm gay. Surprise! I never thought I'd come out to you via letter, but oh well. Now you know. I just hope you're gay, too, because I'd really love to date you.
Erase.
Yeah, I'm pretty homo. I hope my sexuality isn't an issue for you. That would really suck, because I'm madly in love with you.
ERASE.
Yep, I'm gay. No, I haven't seen any French guys I like. They're really attractive and all, but for the past little while now I've had my eye on some other guy. A guy who's sweet and smart and sexy and silly and kind. I won't be able to write to you for about two months so I'll give you some time to think about it. [drawing of a winking smiley face]
I'll be home before you know it!
Love, Antonio
Dear Toni,
I am neither mean nor dramatic. Don't be an insensitive dick. Try to see things my way for once in your goddamned life. And it's too late, they gave the job to someone else.
Glad to know you're so enthusiastic about it. Whatever, it's not even a big deal anyways.
Sweet, smart, sexy, and silly all in one? What a fucking lie, guys like that don't exist. Tell me this asshole's name. I want to find him on Facebook and see if he's really how you describe him.
Five more months till you come back. Talk to you soon.
From, Lovino
Dear Lovi,
Hi, mi tomate! It's been FOREVER since we've talked and I'm so sorry, I suck at writing back. I'm ready to come home in three months! I miss you and everyone back home! I hope you had a good birthday! How are things over there? How's your cat? How's your family?
I'm so sorry to hear that, Lovi. I also didn't mean to sound insensitive, I just wanted to help. Well, you know what they say: try, try again! I'm sure you'll get the job the next time you go for an interview.
It's a big deal! But I digress. We'll talk more about this trip when I get back.
Well, I suppose there's no time like the present to tell you who I like. I was planning on telling you in person, but I'm feeling more confident telling you through writing.
It's you, Lovi.
I like you.
You're the guy I like. I've always liked you, ever since we met.
Do you like me, too? I'm just wondering.
Erase.
Wow, it feels so nice getting that off my chest! Do whatever you like with that information, interpret it as you will. Just please don't hate me for it, you can't control who you like.
Talk to you soon!
Love, Toni
One month later.
Dear Lovi,
Hiya, mi tomate! I was just wondering if you ever received my last letter or not. If you did, I'd really like it if you wrote back to me! I get so lonely being here all by myself, and talking to you always makes me happy.
Please write back soon!
Love, Toni
Another month later.
Dear Lovi,
Hi. It's been a while, hasn't it? I hope you're not ignoring me on purpose. If you are, I don't know what I said to upset you, if I did. If it's something I said, please let me know what it is. I miss talking to you so much. I don't want to come home full of regret and guilt. There's enough going on here as it is, with shootings and terrorist attacks. Please, Lovi, please talk to me. I miss you.
Please write back. Happy Thanksgiving.
Love, Toni
A couple weeks later.
Dear Lovi,
I'm coming home just in time for Christmas. I can hardly believe we've been sending letters to each other for almost two years. Time flies when you're having fun. I've missed you so much.
Not hearing from you makes me sad and worried. I hope you're okay. I don't know if you know this, but you're the most important person in my life right now. I'd do anything for you.
Wait for me.
Love, Toni
Wait for me.
Lovino looked over the words once, then twice, then a third time as he guzzled down the rest of his wine. After the fourth time, he put down the letter and stared into his empty glass. Shit. Shit. He clenched his fist, careful not to damage Antonio's letter too much, and rested his forehead against the dining room table.
The turkey sat on the stovetop, already cooled down along with its companion stuffing and mashed potatoes. The Christmas tree was covered with red and gold and silver decorations and glass ornaments, a tree skirt shielding it from the cold. The angel at the top shone brightly in sync with the rest of the tree lights. Soft music poured from his stereo; he'd hooked it up to the Bluetooth on his phone and played some random Christmas song playlist he found on YouTube. Margaret Whiting sang about how she really can't stay and Johnny Mercer was singing that baby, it's cold outside, but Lovino was too busy squeezing his eyes shut and drowning out the world.
He waited for what felt like years until he heard a knock on his door. He jerked upright, his spine a snap-flex. Suddenly wide awake, he felt his heart beating hard against his chest, fluttering wildly as heat rose to his cheeks in excitement. Was it...was it him...?
He stood from his chair quickly, his exhausted eyes glancing at the clock. Two seventeen in the morning, Christmas Day. He slowly made his way across the room to the front door, his feet not making any sound as he travelled across the carpet. He grabbed the door knob and opened the door.
The chilly, bitter winter air snapped at his ankles and feet, but he ignored the cold and focused on the person on his doorstep. Alas, there he was, with the same chocolate brown hair, the same rich emerald eyes, the same dimpled cheeks. Antonio stood there shivering in his winter jacket, a backpack on his back and two large black suitcases behind him. Neither one spoke; they instead searched each other's faces with their eyes, going over every single fine detail that was added or altered over the course of a year and a half of separation. Then their eyes settled on each other's eyes once again.
Antonio wet his lips, nervous, tense, his cheeks pink from either the cold or uncomfortableness. "Hi," he said finally. "May I come in?"
Lovino watched him, watched his lips as he spoke. Then he nodded and stepped aside to make room for the other. Antonio stepped inside and the door closed behind them.
Antonio unzipped his jacket and set down his bag beside his luggage before he took off his boots and sat himself down on the sofa. His green gaze roamed over the room, the tree, the pictures on the walls. "Beautiful tree," he said, rubbing his hands over his thighs to warm them up. He looked over at Lovino again who was leaned up against the wall, waiting for an answer, but swallowed hard when he saw Lovino tighten his jaw firmly.
"Um," Antonio started. "I guess I'll make this quick, I won't waste your time for too long...I know you don't want me to get you anything for Christmas again, but I couldn't help it. Here, I got you this." He fished around in his jacket pocket for a second before pulling out a flat, square, velvety box and handing it to Lovino.
Lovino all but yanked it out of the other's hands and muttered under his breath about how Antonio never listens before he ripped the red ribbon off the box and opened the lid. His eyes went wide. His mouth went dry. His mind drew a blank and he was left speechless.
Antonio cleared his throat. "I know that guys don't usually wear chains, even though I do, but I saw this and I thought it was nice. I wasn't sure if you preferred gold or silver, so I just went with the gold because I imagined it on you and thought it'd look nicer than the silver."
No response from Lovino. Antonio swallowed hard and his cheeks got pinker. "You don't have to keep it, though. You can totally bring it to some gold-trading thing and get money instead. It was a little bit pricy, and you'd be converting euros to American dollars, so you'd get a pretty penny for that. You could use the money for something more important, like tomatoes, or cheese, or...something."
Still nothing from Lovino. He flicked his eyes from the necklace to Antonio, back and forth, making Antonio very anxious. Antonio waited a few moments before he got up. "Well..." He reached for his bag. "That's all I came here for. I'll be on my way now. I hope you sleep well. Merry Christmas."
"Antonio."
The sound of Lovino's voice, slightly deeper than he remembered it, made Antonio stop in his tracks. He slowly lifted his head. "Yes?"
Lovino outstretched his arms and gestured for Antonio to come closer. "Come here."
Antonio blinked, then knit his eyebrowd together slightly in confusion. "Why?"
"I want to kiss you."
Antonio nearly swallowed his tongue. "W-What?" he gasped.
Lovino's cheeks were red. "I want to kiss you," he repeated, then he took a deep breath. "I want to kiss you and hug you until you can't breathe, and thank you for the beautiful chain that I'm now going to wear every single day of my life. So come here, stupid."
Antonio hesitated, staring hard at Lovino. His heart got the best of him and he dropped his bag, stepping forward into Lovino's inviting, warm arms. Immediately, Lovino put his arms around Antonio's waist and leaned his face up to kiss Antonio's cheek. Then Lovino kissed the corner of Antonio's mouth, his arms tightening. "Thank you." Antonio opened his eyes and saw deep pools of hazel, filled with affection and love. His heart swelled up and he felt like crying. "Thank you so much. I love you, too, you know? You mean a lot to me, Toño."
"Oh," Antonio whispered. "Lovi."
"I love you," Lovino said. "I've always loved you. I want to kiss you everywhere, from head to toe, every single square inch of your fucking body." He gripped Antonio closer and buried his face in the nearest shoulder. "I've missed you so much."
Antonio felt rather funny and almost numb, but extremely, extremely happy and full of love. "Why are you telling me this now?" he whispered. "Why didn't you write to me? Why did you stop talking to me for three months?"
"I was scared," Lovino admitted. "Terrified. I was so shocked and terrified that I couldn't talk to you. I just couldn't." He closed his eyes. "I had to make sure," he said. "that you were being honest and truthful. And I figured it's better for me to tell you in person."
"Oh. Oh, Lovi." Antonio felt the hot sting of happy tears well up in his eyes. "Lovi. I love you, Lovi. I love you so much." He grabbed Lovino and squeezed, feeling him, feeling his body, holding him so tight and so close he thought his head might pop off.
"I'm gonna fucking kill you," Lovino whispered. "Fuck you. I'm gonna fucking kill you." His hands cupped Antonio's cheeks and stroked them. "I love you so much I'm gonna fucking kill you." He leaned in and pressed his lips against Antonio's, letting silk melt against silk.
Antonio tightened his hold around Lovino, feeling Lovino's sweet kiss and sweet mouth pour onto his own and fill him with glee. The kiss ended too quickly, but Antonio swallowed gulps of oxygen to make up for the moments he spent breathless. Lovino turned around and held the chain to his neck. "Would you mind putting it on, Toni?"
With a big smile Antonio lovingly fastened the two ends together. When Lovino turned back around, he had to pat himself on the back. Gold really did suit Lovino's skin colour. "Beautiful," he whispered. "Just like you, my little lovely tomato."
A hint of a smile lifted Lovino's lips up. He wrapped his arms around Antonio once more and closed his eyes. "Dance with me. I like this song. It's actually my—"
"Favourite?" Antonio grinned widely, feeling Lovino grin back. "Mine, too. Let's dance." He put his hands on Lovino's back and Lovino's hands found his back as well. They pressed close together, spreading warmth onto each other, Lovino's face against Antonio's neck and Antonio's face against Lovino's hair. Michael Bublé softly sang from the stereo for them to have themselves a merry little Christmas. They turned together, slowly, embracing tenderly while they danced to the sweet melody of the song.
"Merry Christmas, my sweet little tomato."
"Merry Christmas to you, too, nerd."
Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Let your heart be light
From now on, our troubles will be out of sight
Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. Happy holidays and I'll see you all in the new year!