Here's my secret Santa gift to darkunlimited on AO3. I thought about doing a silly little thing with HideTouKen crack and fluff, but I wasn't sure that I'd be able to make 1000 words out of it, and instead did a serious Touken thing about 5x the required length with a little more angst than there really should be in a Christmas present. Sorry, I have a really hard time getting into AUs so cannon divergence was the best I could do from your suggestions, both in the asks and from the initial Secret Santa questionnaire. I hope you still like it!

Touka was wiping down the tables for closing time when she heard the door ring.

I must have forgotten to change the sign, she realized inwardly groaning. She raised her head to try and give the potential customer her nicest "Sorry, but we're closed" speech, but froze when she realized it was him.

It was him. Well, his hair was a that odd mix of the old black and the disturbing white and he didn't seem to remember her, but it was still him. Kaneki Ken.

He looked incredibly nervous for some reason. "Um, Hi. Sorry it's so late, it looks like you're closed so…" He started to back away toward the door.

"No, wait!" Touka shouted a little too loudly.

Kaneki froze.

Touka pulled back a chair. "Here, have a seat." Here voice was back to her normal volume, with that tone she used around customers.

Kaneki nervously shuffled over to the chair and sat down.

Touka went behind the counter to the coffee maker. "Specialty black, right?"

Kaneki nodded. "But, um, could you make it decaf please?"

Touka nodded. She pulled out the correct beans and started going through the motions Yoshimura had taught her. "I'm the manager of this café, so it doesn't have to close until I say so."

"Really?" Kaneki asked. "Well, this is a really great place you have here, manager."

Touka smiled. "Why thank you, Sensei."

She finished brewing the coffee and poured two cups. She carried them over to the table where Kaneki was sitting.

"So, what brings you to a café at 7 in the afternoon?" Touka asked, sitting down across from Kaneki.

Kaneki took a sip of his coffee. "Ah, well, it's kind of difficult to explain."

Touka leaned in. "Try me."

Kaneki fidgeted a little. "Well, I was at work all day, and well… Some of my coworkers aren't exactly fond of me."

No shit. You're a fucking ghoul among doves.

"They have some pretty good reasons and I can understand why they act that way, but it still hurts." Kaneki looked distraught. "Basically, I got stuck in a meeting with a bunch of people who hate me. I did have one friend in there, but he generally isn't taken seriously by the others so he can't really protect me much."

Touka took a sip of her coffee. "If your coworkers are bullying you, can't you tell someone?" There probably isn't anyone he can tell who sympathizes, though. Damn Doves.

"I'd like to, but there really aren't that many people I can talk to about this, and most of them really can't do anything. Besides, one of the people doing it is the Chairman's grandson, so I really can't go above him."

Touka sighed. "Well, have you ever considered quitting?"

Kaneki looked appalled. "Wha-what?"

"Well, if your work environment is so horrible, you might be better off going to work somewhere else. Not to mention, you'd probably live longer. I hear that ghoul investigators don't exactly have the longest life spans."

"That's, uh, very true, but… quitting isn't exactly an option for me." Kaneki's hand migrated up to his chin. "Besides, I really do like my job. I like being able to protect those I care about."

Liar. "Well, if you say so Sensei."

Kaneki looked around the room. "Oh, I was wondering, where did you get all of these books?"

Very subtle, Kaneki. "Oh, some of them I bought myself, some are donated by other customers who wanted get rid of their books for some reason, some were saved from the trash when the school library decided nobody was checking them out…"

"School library? Where do you go to school?"

"Hm? Oh, Kami University." Touka answered.

Kaneki looked a little surprised. "You must be really smart to get in there."

Touka smiled. "Well, I knew a couple of people who had gone here, and they seemed to enjoy it. I'm studying biology, and Kami has a really good program for that."

"Biology?" Kaneki asked, "That's really difficult. What got you into it?"

Touka shrugged. "I guess I'm just really interested in how the human body works." And what makes them so different from us.

"That's, um, a great endeavor." Kaneki looked a little uncomfortable. Of course, his own biology wasn't the same as what she was currently supposed to be studying.

Touka decided to change the subject. "Do you like to read?"

Kaneki's face brightened. "Oh yes, I'm always reading during my free time. I really like books that go deep into the psychology of the characters, though I've noticed a lot of them seem to be tragedies."

"You don't like tragedies?" That's odd, all of Takatsuki's works are tragedies.

Kaneki shrugged. "Ah, well, I guess I'm not a big fan of sad endings."

Touka smiled. "Well, I'm not really a big fan of them either, so I can't hold that against you."

Kaneki laughed. "I'm glad. Are there any books you'd suggest?"

Touka looked over at the bookshelves. "Well, I'll have to admit that I haven't been able to read much outside of school recently, but there are a couple of books that are special to me…"

She stood up and walked toward the shelf. After browsing the titles for a few seconds, she picked up a well-read hardback and brought it back to the table.

"I had a friend who, well, he liked to read tragedies." Touka handed the book to Kaneki. "He, well, he's not around right now, but I believe he would have connected to certain aspects of the story. I found it at a used book store and decided to read it, and it always makes me think of him. It doesn't have that great of an ending, but you might still enjoy it."

Kaneki took the book. "Mary Shelley's Frankenstein? I've heard of it, but I haven't gotten the chance to read it yet."

"Take it."

Kaneki looked up at her. "What? No, no, I couldn't. You said that this was important to you."

"Which is why I want it back eventually. But I don't mind if you want to borrow it."

Kaneki was elated. "Well then, thank you so much, ma'am." He finished up his coffee. "Oh, I forget, how much for the coffee?"

Touka shook her head. "This one is on the house, Sensei."

Kaneki blushed. "I-I don't know what to say. Thank you so much, ma'am. I don't even know your name!"

Touka chuckled. "It's Kirishima Touka."

"Alright then, Kirishima-san."

That sounds so wrong. "No, you can call me Touka."

Kaneki blushed. "Uh, whatever you say, Touka-san."

Well, at least that's better.

The next day started out like any other. Touka and Yomo opened up :re for the morning crowd, and many of their regulars came in for their daily dose of caffeine. Most of them groggily waved her down and asked for their usual, and Touka always responded happily, "Coming right up!"

Yomo cast her a sideways glance. "You seem oddly chipper today."

Touka rolled her eyes. "It's mostly for the customers' benefit, you know that."

The door rang, and Touka's mood soured considerably when she saw who had walked in.

Yomo noticed as well. "If you want, I could take him for you."

Touka ignored him and walked towards her least favorite customer. Let's just get this over with.

The new customer was a ghoul. He'd discovered :re shortly after it first opened, and pinned Touka and Yomo as others of his kind quickly. Touka had heard from some friends in the ward that he had a reputation as a frequent and messy eater, and that he was convinced he was god's gift the women everywhere. Touka didn't go out of her way to learn much about him, but she could personally attest to the last fact.

"Hello, Kamui-san. Are you going to want the usual today, or would you be interested in trying something new?" Touka asked.

"Please, Touka-chan, I've told you to call me Sakuya." The customer replied, flashing her what was supposed to be a lady-killing smile.

Touka didn't go for it. "I've told you not to talk to me so informally, especially when I'm at work."

Kamui waved off her objections. "Whatever you say, Touka-chan. You know that I take my coffee black, but it would mean so much if you were the one who made it for me. Could you go and make a pot with your own, special touch, a maybe a kiss for luck?"

Touka wrote down his order of her notepad. "Sorry, but we're in the middle of the morning rush. Nii-san is making the drinks right now, and I'm taking orders only."

"Aw, don't be like that, Touka-chan…"

Touka glared at him. "What did I say just a second ago?"

Before Kamui could protest more, the front door rang indicating another customer.

Touka looked up. "Welcome to :re…" She had to stop herself from freezing in shock.

He was here. Kaneki. Again. The morning after they'd finally gotten a chance to really talk again. He was here, dressed in the CCG jacket and with 4 others with the same garment trailing behind.

It was almost too much for Touka to bare.

Kaneki looked a nervous. "Ah, um, if it isn't too much trouble, we were hoping to order some coffee…"

Touka gave him a smile of reassurance. "Of course. Sorry we're so busy, but if you sit down at an empty table I'll be with you as soon as possible."

Kaneki nodded and led his companions to an empty table with 5 seats.

Kamui pulled Touka down to whisper in her ear. "Don't you dare. They're doves; I won't let you get hurt."

Touka internally laughed at his worries. "Right now, they're customers. If I don't serve them to the best of my ability, they'll get suspicious. I know how to handle myself around doves, if you don't then that's your problem."

She yanked her arm out of Kamui's grip and gave his order to Yomo. Her companion sent her a meaningful glance, looked at Kaneki and his companions, and looked at her again. He could tell that something was going on.

"I'll explain everything later," Touka knew that this wasn't the time to talk about last night.

Yomo nodded and got back to brewing coffee.

Touka made her way over to Kaneki's table. "Sorry about the wait. Now, what would each of you like?"

Each of Kaneki's companions made their order, and when they were done she turned to Kaneki. "And a specialty black for you, sensei?"

Kaneki blushed. "Ah, yes, that's right, Kirishima-san."

Touka made a show of pouting at him. "Come on, what did I tell you last night sensei?"

"Ah, right, of course, sorry Touka-san!" Kaneki laughed nervously, casting sideways glances at the other four at his table. "But, that's kind of unfair miss. You should call me Sasaki Haise, since, ah, that's my name."

He had started with that stupid chin-scratching habit again.

Touka still faked a smile. "Alright, Haise-kun." She then left to give their orders to Yomo.

As soon as she had turned away, one of the other investigators nudged Haise. "Wow Sassan, you've gotten really familiar with that pretty waitress. Touka-san, huh?"

Haise tried not to look embarrassed. "It isn't that big of a deal, Shirazu. I came by here after work yesterday, and she happened to be close to closing up. We got talking, got to know each other better, and at the end I asked her for her name."

Shirazu looked skeptical. "Uh huh, so it wasn't anything like a date?"

Urie chose that moment to put his headphones back on and blocked everyone out.

Haise shook his head. "No, nothing like that."

"You don't have to be ashamed, Sensei." Mutsuki interjected. "I think it would be great if you wanted to date someone like her."

"I agree with Muchan." Saiko commented. "You I wouldn't mind having another Mama, Maman."

Haise sighed. "You guys, nothing is going on between me and Kirishima-san."

"But you wouldn't mind it if there was, would you Sassan?" Shirazu smirked.

Haise closed his eyes in frustration. "Okay, she is a nice person, but to start dating someone… There's a lot of issues that prevent me from being with someone romantically. You know that."

The other four three paying attention looked confused.

"Are you talking about, er," Shirazu looked around and knew he couldn't say what he was thinking explicitly. He leaned in and lowered his voice to a whisper to deter eavesdroppers. "Your body that isn't as safe as ours? I don't see how that would be a problem."

Haise leaned in and matched his tone. "I doubt the CCG would like the idea of telling a civilian about my condition. I'd have to keep it a secret from her, and I don't think I could while being a good romantic partner. Plus, suppose it does work out and we get together. What if she wants to have kids? I can't give her that, since I can't know for sure that any kids I give her would be purely human."

"You became how you are now because of a surgery, right?" Mutsuki suggested. "I doubt it'll be hereditary."

Haise shook his head. "I don't want to take that chance. Besides, there's still the issue that I don't want her to know about a large factor in my life."

"Well, why can't you tell her?" Saiko asked. "Don't worry about the CCG's rules, I doubt they'd care as long as she agreed not to tell anyone else. Do you think she wouldn't like you anymore if she found out?"

Haise looked down at his hands. "How could anyone love a monster like me?"

Saiko scooted her chair closer to him. "Well, I like you maman, and I know. Why would she be any different?"

Haise opened his mouth to reply, but Touka came up carrying their drinks.

Once Saiko saw her drink she practically squealed. "Maman, look! It's a bunny!"

Touka smiled. "I'm glad you like it."

Saiko turned and looked at her. "Did you make this?" she asked.

Touka shrugged. "Nii-san actually makes the drinks, but I like to add some finishing touches. I really like rabbits, so I put them everywhere."

Saiko tugged on Haise's sleeve. "Maman, you have to marry her! She makes cute bunnies!"

"I'm telling you, Touka-chan, you should come live with me and quit this stupid coffee shop!"

Touka slammed the dishes down. "Kamui, you're pathetic. I have been building :re for the past 2 years, what makes you think I would give it up to make you happy?"

"I'm trying to protect you!" Kamui shouted. "Those doves keep coming in here, chatting with you, plotting to kill all of our kind. Sometime soon you're going to slip up and they'll be in the perfect position to kill you and everyone you've ever known!"

"Not likely." Touka retorted. "I know how to handle myself around doves."

"I don't like how that one with the mixed-colored hair looks at you."

Touka scoffed. "Well, I certainly like his looks better than yours! At least he doesn't want me to help him 'replenish our numbers.' You're just scared and want to use this opportunity to drag me down to your level of patheticness."

Kamui grabbed Touka's arm. "Stop serving those doves, Touka!"

Touka narrowed her eyes. "Let go of me, you creep."

Kamui opened his mouth, but a voice interrupted.

"Let go of the manager and leave this establishment before I make you, Kamui." Yomo demanded.

Kamui sent a glare in both Touka's and Yomo's direction, the grudgingly let go of Touka and exited the front door.

Touka sighed. "Thank you, Yomo-san."

"He didn't hurt you, did he?" Yomo asked.

Touka shook her head. "No, but he's been a lot more violent recently. Almost possessive. I guess he's noticed that Kaneki likes being here."

"He's also probably noticed how you feel about Kaneki."

Touka blushed. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Yomo sighed. "Just promise me that you'll be careful, okay? He may be Kaneki, but he's still surrounded by doves and probably wouldn't be able to protect you from them if something happened."

Touka nodded. "I know, I know. I'm being very careful, I doubt that even he would know that I'm a ghoul unless he remembers."

The door rang, indicating another customer. To be exact, Kaneki and a young woman dressed in CCG clothes.

"Hello!" Touka gave them her usual customer smile. "Welcome to :re. Sit anywhere you like, I'll be there in a minute." I really hope she isn't his girlfriend or something.

Kaneki smiled at her. "Thank you, Touka-san."

"Haise, let's sit over here." The mystery woman suggested.

Touka walked up to them with her pen and pad. "What can I get you today? Haise-kun, still want a specialty black?"

"Ah, yes Touka-san." Haise confirmed. "What about you, Mado-san?"

The other woman looked over the menu for a second. "Ah, I'd like a latte, if you don't mind."

Touka jotted it down. "One specialty black and one latte coming right up!" Mado. Mado. Where have I heard that name before?

Touka went over to the counter. "I've got this, nii-san. You can take a break."

She recognized the name Mado from somewhere. Why couldn't she place it? Since she was with the CCG, it's likely she had been involved in a tragedy with ghouls, or her family had been investigators before her…

The sewers. Hinami's cries. A gaunt investigator used the parents' kagunes to murder the child. A gloved hand with a wedding ring.

Crap. Luckily Touka had only just started drawing the rabbit on that woman's latte and was able to change it into a cat.

So this was one of the people who had taken Kaneki from her. To be honest, Touka had to find it ironic and a little fitting.

When she finished making them, Touka returned with the drinks. "Here you go. One specialty black and one latte."

Mado looked at her coffee. "How did you know I was a cat lover?"

Touka shrugged. "Just a lucky guess."

Mado took a sip. "Okay, the coffee is pretty good. Though I'm still pretty sure that the reason why Haise keeps coming back her has more to do with the service."

"M-Mado-san!" Kaneki protested.

"Oh, I just remembered I left that case file in the car. Haise, would you mind going and getting it for me?" Mado asked.

Kaneki sighed. "Yes, of course Mado-san."

Once Kaneki was out the door. Mado turned to Touka. "Kirishima-san, correct?"

"Ah, yes?"

"I've heard about you from the Q's. They came in here a while ago with Haise and noticed that you and he, well, you two seem to really care about one another."

Touka blushed. "Ah, well, um…"

Mado took a sip of her coffee. "You should know that he's painfully shy and lacks assertiveness. If someone need to make the first move, it will have to be you. He has a bad habit of using puns in everyday life. Also, physical affection in the form of hugs can be really comforting to him"

Touka was now really uncomfortable. "Er, I mean, uh…"

Mado drank some more. "He's survived a lot and has plenty of emotional baggage. Although he's hesitant to seek it out, he really needs a support system and people who truly care about him. There is a lot about his life he probably won't want to share with you, but just be patient. He has his reasons."

Touka bit her lip.

Another sip. "And one more thing. Haise is like a son to me, so if I find out that you're just leading him on or break his heart without a good reason, I will be very angry and you don't want to be on my bad side."

Touka held up her hands in surrender. "I assure you, I don't have any intentions of harming Haise-kun like that."

Mado smiled and took another sip. "Good. I feel like Haise could really benefit from having someone outside the CCG. It would give him more perspective, and maybe he'll have a better understanding about what we do that he couldn't get otherwise."

Touka didn't know what to say about that.

Luckily, at that point Kaneki came back. "Here's the case file, Mado-san."

"Ah, thank you Haise." Mado set the file down on the table and pulled out her phone. "Haise, what was the name of that movie you wanted to see again?"

"Hm?" Kaneki looked confused. "Oh, it's the movie adaptation of Dear Kafka, but I'm really not a big fan of the book so it isn't that big of a deal…"

"Well, I'm going to be tied up with this case for a while, so I'm afraid I won't be able to go see it. But there's no reason why you can't go, how about you see if Kirishima-san would be interested in joining you?" Mado's tone was purely business, like this wasn't a thinly veiled setup.

Kaneki looked utterly destroyed by Mado's abruptness. "M-Mado-san! You shouldn't—Touka-san, you don't have to, I…"

Touka interrupted him. "I'd love to."

Kaneki blinked in confusion. "You… would?"

Touka nodded. "I was planning on seeing it anyway. I'm not a big fan of the book either, but I know people who like it, so…"

"That's great!" Kaneki interrupted. "I mean, uh, you wouldn't happen to know any theaters or show times around here, would you?"

"There's one just down the street with a 7:30 showing tomorrow night." Mado interjected.

"Great!" Kaneki cheered. "Um, how about I meet you here around 7? Uh, unless you want to get dinner beforehand…"

"Oh, no." Touka may have objected a little too much. "College has kind of messed up my eating schedule, so I won't be hungry then. 7 is a good time."

Kaneki looked relieved. "Great! So, uh, yeah. I'll come by here tomorrow. At 7. To go to the movies. Uh, yeah."

"Yeah, that sounds good." Touka really needed to get out of this awkward situation. "Um, there's something I need to take care of in the back, I'll have your check out in a few…" She quickly ran to the back room.

Once she left, Haise finally got his breathing back to normal. "Ah, Mado-san, why did you decide to set me up with Touka-san?"

Mado gave him a hard look. "Haise, in our line of work, it's not a good idea to put off telling someone you care about them."

At 7 pm on the dot, Haise knocked on the door of :re. The person who answered it was Yomo, not Touka.

"Oh, uh, hi." Haise looked like a deer caught in the headlights. "Um, you're Touka's brother, right? Nice to meet you. Well, be we kind of already met when I came to the café that first time…"

Yomo gave Haise a hard look. "Take care of her, alright?"

Haise stood up straighter. "Oh, yes, of course! I'll protect her, don't worry."

Touka finally came to the door. "Nii-san, stop scaring him. We'll be fine."

Haise had to pick his jaw off the floor at the sight of her. She'd changed into a modest dress with just a hint of makeup, and it really suited her. He was starting to feel bad for only coming in his work clothes, he felt a little underdressed.

"Um… Touka-san, you look really good." Haise wasn't sure that his compliment really expressed how he felt.

"Oh, thank you." Touka flashed him a genuine smile. "You don't look to bad yourself."

"Well, uh, it's no big deal…" Haise blushed.

Yomo interrupted their awkward exchange. "Be careful. There's a lot of dangerous people out there."

"Don't worry Nii-san, we'll be fine. It's just down the street." Touka assured him. "Come on Haise-kun, let's get going."

"Uh, right!" Haise opened the door for him and Touka to leave.

Once they were out of the older man's gaze, Haise remembered what he had intended to tell her when he first came. "Oh, I wanted to give this back, Touka-san." He pulled out the book she'd leant to him before.

"You finished it?" Touka asked, taking it back. "What did you think?"

"It was pretty good." Haise replied. "It's well-written, and there are a lot of elements I could really connect to. Although…" He shuffled a little nervously. "Is it weird that the character I sympathized with the most was the monster?"

Touka didn't seem overly surprised. "I can kind of see why. I mean, he never asked to be created."

Haise nodded. "Precisely. Frankenstein rejected him after his creation, and ultimately all the so-called monster wanted was a companion. He just didn't want to be lonely anymore."

Touka nodded. "I agree. Do you remember the part where—"

A voice Haise didn't recognize interrupted their conversation. "Get away from my woman, you damn dove!"

Haise turned around. A man in a mask was running towards them from the other end of the block. His gait was a little too powerful to be normal, and that activated every instinct Haise had developed since beginning his training as an investigator.

"Run!" He ordered Touka, throwing himself between her and the attacking ghoul. He moved to activate his quinque, only to realize that his hand was empty.

Shit! I left my quinque at the Chateau! Haise realized.

The masked man slammed into Haise, making the both of them fall to the ground. His eyes were black, confirming what Haise had already suspected.

Haise quickly threw the ghoul off him and rolled away. "Touka-san, please get away! It's a ghoul!"

Touka was frozen where she was standing a short way off. "Kamui, what…?"

Haise was stunned. She knows him? Well, it's possible that he's a customer. Maybe that's why he decided to attack her.

The ghoul stood up and crouched down, prepared to attack again. "You're defenseless without your weapon, Dove! This'll be quick."

I'm not defenseless. I always have a weapon. Haise knew that his only option was to use his kagune.

"Touka, please, run away!" Haise begged. He didn't want her to see this side of him.

The ghoul moved to attack. "Die, you damn dove!"

I guess it would be better if she hates me than if she died.

Kamui was attacking Kaneki. Why he had decided to do this, Touka had no idea. But Kaneki didn't have his briefcase, which could be a problem. The old Kaneki – or at least, the Kaneki that she had trained to help Hinami – wouldn't have any problems with this weak idiot, but she couldn't be sure about this Kaneki. Did he even still have his kagune? Or did the doves figure out some way to permanently remove it or something? No, that was stupid, but still…

She moved to stop Kamui. She wasn't sure that she'd be able to do, but she'd rather reveal herself as a ghoul to the CCG than watch Kaneki get hurt any more. It soon proved to be unnecessary, though.

The second before Kamui's attack hit, Kaneki released his kagune.

It had changed. It was bigger, stronger, and more chaotic than Touka remembered. It wasn't clear whether or not he had any real control over it anymore. There wouldn't be any more confusion between him and Rize, since he had evolved far beyond the capabilities of his donor. His attacks were much more precise and powerful. Everything about the kagune screamed death.

Touka couldn't hold back her tears at the sight of it.

Kamui didn't stand a chance.

Everything became a blur to Touka. She recognized Kamui's unconscious body. She could smell the blood. She could hear a Haise's voice on the phone. She just couldn't conceptualize it.

"I called some coworkers at the CCG. They'll be able to deal with this. When they get here, you won't have to see me again. I'm so, so, sorry Kirishima-san." Haise's voice was trembling when she finally was able to understand what he was saying.

Touka was confused. "What are you apologizing for? You saved my life."

Kaneki covered his face with his hands. "I'm a monster. You shouldn't be around someone like me. I'm sorry, I'm sorry…"

He hates himself, Touka realized. He hates himself for being a ghoul. This isn't like before, when he had something to want to go back to or friends to show him that not all ghouls are evil. He doesn't remember what it's like to not be a ghoul, and he's been taught to hate what he is.

I won't let him go through this alone. Not again.

Gently, Touka wrapped her arms around him. "Haise-kun, it's alright. You saved me today, so I know that you can't possibly be a monster. If you are really a monster, then at least let me be the companion you want."

Kaneki looked up. "But, how can you not hate me? I'm a ghoul!"

Touka shook her head. "That doesn't make you a bad person. That is determined by what you do."

"But, Touka-san, you don't understand. I don't even know everything I've ever done; I have no memories of the first 20 years of my life."

Touka decided to try a different approach. "Then, if it's too hard for you, let's pretend this never happened. Let's just go back to how we were yesterday, just and investigator and a waitress. Just a man and a woman. Just two people who have feelings for one another."

That got Kaneki's attention. "You… have feelings for me?"

Touka nodded. "Why do you think I made a point of making myself look better for our first date?"

Kaneki blushed. "Ah, well, I guess that kind of got ruined… But, if you don't mind, I might take you up on that offer. To go back to how we were yesterday. Especially if it means redoing our first date."

Touka smiled. "I'd like that too."