A/N: Hi, guys. Sorry for being AWOL lately. I had been busy with working on my FAGE piece, Grant Me A Smile. If you haven't read it yet, give it a try. I hope it'll make you smile.

Now on with Puke Man and the Snarky Swan. Enjoy!

Chapter-5: Gamer, Not Player

The whole time we were at Alice and Jasper's new place, helping them with their move, I tried to get Bella alone; however, every time I looked at her, she was either busy talking with someone or smiling at the general ball of goofiness that is Alice.

I had no idea why it was bothering me so much that she thought me a jerk, but for some weird as fuck reason, it was.

By the end of the day, I was ready to give up on trying to reclaim some of my dignity in front of her.

"Why the long face, TUK?" Emmett asked, plopping his ass down next to me on the couch we just sweated our butts off to carry up three flights of stairs.

Do you have moments when you think back on something you did and wonder what the fuck was wrong with you to have made you do that? Well, this was one of those moments for me.

Instead of simply shrugging it off, I actually tried, for the sake of humanity—I might add, to understand the shithole that happened to be Emmett McCarty's mind. All I did was open my big ass mouth and ask him, "What the fuck is TUK?"

His prompt reply? "Throw-up King, of course!" Yeah, it was going to be some time before he let that go.

As I glared at him, wishing I had some kind of magical powers to turn that asshole into dust, Jasper joined in the Let's-Bust-Edward's-Ass game.

"You okay, Ed?" He asked, looking all concerned and shit.

I might have let my lower lip pull down a little as I complained to him, "No, I'm not. I'm not okay at all."

Now if you had said that to your friend, any normal friend would've asked you why that was. But the thing was, my friends were not normal. No, in fact they happened to be major assholes.

As if to prove the point, Jasper piped up, "Makes sense. You look like you're trying to shit a brick."

"Well, he certainly plays the role of an ass perfectly," came a snide remark from in front of me. "Or so I'm told."

That made me snap, and jumping to my feet, I confronted her. "What the hell is your problem, lady?"

She narrowed her eyes at me and replied, "Nothing. I'm just not a fan of the players. And that's exactly what you seem like, Mr. Cullen."

Um … what?

For a long moment after Bella's snarky remark and rapid departure from the scene, we all were silent. And then, we all spoke out at the same time.

"Woohoo! Eddie just got trashed by a girl"

"What just happened?"

"Players are manwhores, man. I'm a gamer, not a player."

A/N: So thoughts on GamerWard? :P

Share them with me and leave a review.

Thanks for reading.

Take care.

Ann