Warnings: Threesome, anal, vaginal, bad dialoge :)

If anyone were to ever ask, he definitely would not be able to explain how he ended up in this situation. This strange, slightly weird – yet totally awesome – situation with two of the gleek divas.

Peering down Puck watched the way his dick slid in and out of the warm body on top of him. Now, Rachel might be an annoying, whiny nuisance back in the choir room, but bouncing up and down on top of him, her whining was for once smoking.

"Mmm, Kurt!"

Aaaaaand, hence the stranger, slightly weird part. This may not be his first threesome with another guy (hello April and Matt), but he'd never imagined himself being involved in anyway with Kurt Hummel of all people.

"Feels good?" the pale gleek asked the writhing girl between them, a tiny smirk on the corner of his lips as he hooked his chin over Rachel's shoulder, kissing the juncture between neck and shoulder lightly. Puck weren't able to see exactly what Kurt was doing, but he could feel the shivers echoing through Rachel's taut body.

"Mhmm," she sighed dreamily, twisting her hips back and forth on top of him.

"Think you're ready yet?" Kurt asked her between sucking nips to her neck.

"Mm- OH! Yeah. Uh-huh," she nodded excitedly, her nails digging hard into Puck's pecs, one long nail catching over a nipple ring and making him let out a low groan of his own.

"Mind helping a little here Puck?" Kurt questioned him, motioning to his big hands cupping Rachel's ass. A big smile spread on his pink lips. "Or is Rachel distracting you? Hey, hun, stop for a minute so Puck can spread your cheeks for me, okay?"

"Okay," Rachel ground out, whining as he kept still, her muscles straining. "Just be quick about it."

"Oh, I don't think Puck is all that quick-witted right now, are you honey?" Kurt teased, making Puck clench his teeth. He would not have the little gay boy questioning his sexual prowess.

Gripping the supple cheeks beneath his fingers harder he dragged his hands apart, revealing Rachel's cute little hole to the world. "Oh, honey," Puck countered, "don't ever think you'll out-sex the Puckasaurus, you get me?"

Kurt merely hummed as he steered his way inside, Rachel clenching tightly around both of them as he entered her. It was weird feeling something pressing against his dick, even if it was through a "I guess that means you think I won't be able to keep up, right?" Kurt ground out as he gripped Rachel's hips to pull her as close as he could get her. "Guess we'll both find out the truth, won't we?"

And not one to be challenged like this – and especially not by someone who was definitely a virgin – Puck made sure to up his game another notch. Steadying his feet he began pumping his hips up faster. Harder. Closer. And it was obvious that Rachel appreciated the change, if her squealing noises were anything to go by.

"There you go Puck," Kurt goaded on, a full smirk directed his way. "Now you're getting it."

"If you don't shut up you'll be the one getting some," Puck countered angrily.

"Mm, please," Kurt smiled, trailing his hands up Rachel's body.

"Will the two of you just shut up and fuck me?" Rachel snapped crankily, locking her eyes with Kurt's and digging her nails into Puck's skin.

"Sorry," Kurt mumbled against her lips, before locking their mouths together, making Puck's eyes widen in surprise. He totally had not seen that one coming. It was hot though.

"Mm, thanks Puck," Kurt grinned, and fuck, he'd said that out loud hadn't he?

"Ngh, no, where'd you go?" Rachel whined, before reaching back and hauling Kurt back in, "Kiss me!"

Indulging her Kurt slipped his tongue between her lips, tongue-fucking her as he continued snapping his hips forward.

Puck could feel himself rapidly closing in on his orgasm as he watched the two make out, but knowing there was no way he could let himself come before either of the other two he sat himself up to the best of his ability. It was an awkward angle, and he knew that his back would kill him if he stayed like this for more than a minute or so, but it would be more than worth it if it meant getting them both off faster.

Slipping one hand down Rachel's mound he began rubbing her wet little clit furiously, and the other he trailed down to where Rachel's ass met Kurt's dick. Full well knowing what people might say should they find out what he was about to do, Puck went on to cup Kurt's balls, squeezing them gently and letting a finger probe even further than that, rubbing the countertenor's perineum.

Nobody would ever be allowed to find out about this – but there was no way he could allow Kurt to out-stud him.

Above him both Rachel and Kurt began to thrash wildly, their mouths parting to whine brokenly as Puck took care of them.

"Ah, Puck!"

"So close!"

It wasn't long until he could feel Rachel tense up above him, her walls clenching furiously around him. And though he tried to hold on, the clamp her muscles had around him milked him far too quickly for his liking, meaning that he followed her not a moment later. His only comfort was that Kurt too seemed to release himself alongside him.

As the three of them calmed down side by side by side Puck glanced over Rachel to lock eyes with Kurt.

"Told you you shouldn't challenge the Puckasaurus, dude." Puck teased the younger boy.

"What do you mean?" Kurt spoke out angrily, pushing himself up on his elbow to hover above them. "I totally lasted longer than you!"

"Uh, no, you didn't," Puck pointed out, raising himself up on his elbow as well.

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Boys!" Rachel admonished, pushing them both back down on the bed. "Please don't ruin my glow, okay?"

Rolling his eyes Puck murmured his consent, cuddling up to the warm girl as he listened to Kurt agreeing as well.

"Thank you," Rachel whispered, her hand reaching down to grasp Puck's in hers, and he could see the way she clasped Kurt's as well.

"I totally lasted longer."

"Puck!"