A very random one-shot I thought of since it is the Christmas season. Pairings mentioned are Jazz/Prowl, Hound/Mirage, Red Alert/Inferno, and the main one is Ironhide/Ratchet.
"Hey what's that Spike?" Sideswipe asked pointing out the picture of a plant with white berries on it in the book Spike was showing the lambo twins of Christmas traditions.
"Its mistletoe Sideswipe. You hang it up somewhere and if two people stand under it they have to kiss." Spike explained. Sideswipe looked over at his yellow twin, mischievous grin on his face.
"You thinking what I'm thinking bro?"
"You know I am." Sunstreaker replied, grin of his own forming.
"Well see you later Spike." Sideswipe said transforming and the two Lamborghinis took off.
"Uhh bye…" Spike watched them go in confusion.
The twins snickered to themselves as they hung up the bundle of mistletoe in the doorway to the hall leading into the control room. With the plant now hanging the two went to hide behind a corner to wait for their victims. Though the first person to appear was Spike on his way to find his father. He caught sight of the twins and the mistletoe hanging in the doorway.
"Uh guys, what're you doing?"
"Well we decided to participate in some Christmas traditions." Sideswipe explained, grin never leaving his face.
"And we decided to get everyone else involved too." Sunstreaker added with a grin to match. "And it looks like we got our first victims." Sideswipe and Spike looked in the direction that Sunstreaker pointed in and they saw Jazz and Prowl were coming down the hall. Spike stayed to see what was going to happen, all thoughts of finding his father now forgotten. When close enough the saboteur and SIC paused, looking up at the plant.
"What is that?" Prowl asked, optics narrowing a fraction.
"Dunno, the better question is how did it get here?" Jazz responded.
"Its an earth tradition called mistletoe, you have to kiss under it." Sideswipe explained from their place around the corner.
"Huh, humans sure do have some wacky traditions, but alright." With that Jazz grabbed Prowl, dipped the other mech and placed a kiss on his lips. Before the SIC could respond he was once again set upright by his mate and was pulled towards the control room. Jazz grinned at the twins as he passed and gave them a thumbs up as he continued to lead his flustered mate down the hall. The twins just rolled their eyes and once again kept a look out. Spike watched the two other mechs disappear.
"They didn't even try to get out of it." Spike said, mostly to himself.
"Well obviously. They're bonded." Sunstreaker explained, not even looking at the young human.
"Bonded?"
"Yeah, I guess the easiest human concept to compare it to is marriage. So in our terms they're married." Sideswipe explained further.
"Rea-"
"Shh." Sunstreaker cut Spike off. "Here comes someone." Just as Sunstreaker had said, someone was coming down the hallway, though it was only Bluestreak.
"Umm Spike what do you do if there is only one person?"
Spike shrugged. "Nothing I guess."
"Alright." So the twins stayed where they were behind the corner. When he came close enough Bluestreak noticed them and he peeked around the corner, looking confused.
"What're you guys doing?"
"Pulling a prank." Sunstreaker answered. Bluestreak looked slightly alarmed at that.
"Well good luck." And he hurriedly walked away. Shortly after more footsteps were heard and they could see Hound and Mirage coming down the hall. They were talking to each other softly and Mirage pointed out the mistletoe but the two didn't stop walking. Sideswipe glanced at his brother and grinned before the two of them stepped out and blocked the hallway.
"Ah ah ah its mistletoe so you have to kiss." Sideswipe admonished, waving his finger at the other two mechs.
"We just want to get to the control room guys." Hound explained trying to take a step forward.
"Well we'll let you through if you uphold the tradition and kiss." Sunstreaker crossed his arms over his chassis.
"Fine." Mirage sighed and the two looked at each other. The kiss was quick, as it ended almost as soon as their lips touched. Both Hound and Mirage looked at the ground, face plates heating up, and they walked by the twins as fast as they could when their path was clear.
"Are they bonded too?" Spike asked watching the two mechs walk away.
"Yep. Maybe the next couple who comes down here won't be bonded. Then this is will get really fun." Sideswipe said excitedly as the three took their place behind the corner again. They had to wait almost ten minutes before more mechs came down the hall. They looked and found Bumblebee and Wheeljack coming their way.
"Do we dare do it?" Sunstreaker asked looking at his brother.
Sideswipe considered before shaking his head. "Nah, Bumblebee's kind of young. We'll get him someday though." So they stayed hidden and backed down the adjacent hallway slightly. Bumblebee and Wheeljack got to the control room unhindered and didn't even seem to notice the mistletoe hanging in the doorway. Shortly afterwards Brawn and Cliffjumper made their way towards the control room, and just as they had done to Mirage and Hound, the twins stepped out from behind the corner and blocked the hallway.
"What are you doing? And why is there a plant hanging from the roof?" Cliffjumper asked, optics narrowed in suspicion.
"Well you see-" Sideswipe started with a grin.
"This is an Earth tradition called mistletoe-"
"And whoever stands under the mistletoe together must kiss-"
"And you two are under the mistletoe." Sunstreaker finished, the two of them having taken turns to finish the explanation. The two minibots looked at the twins furiously.
"No way am I doing this." Cliffjumper crossed his arms over his chassis. "And you can't force us."
"Well we're not going to move until you do." Both Lamborghinis crossed their arms over their chassis as well.
"Then I'll make you." Brawn growled, and proceeded to pick up each twin and throw him into the wall. The two minibots purposefully continued on their way, a mumble of "No good slagging twins and no good earth traditions" could be heard. Said twins picked themselves up, both pouting as Spike laughed at their expense.
"That better not have scratched my paint." Sunstreaker muttered looking himself over.
"Aw I'm sure its fine Sunny." Sideswipe responded once again on the lookout, and totally ignored the glare his yellow twin leveled at him. It wasn't long until they could add even more mechs to their list of victims. They had caught Red Alert and Inferno and gotten them to kiss, though it looked like Red Alert was mere seconds from crashing, and it wasn't that entertaining since they too were bonded. After them had come Perceptor, who was left alone, and he didn't even comment on their presence or the mistletoe. Then there had been Smokescreen and Blaster, they were forced to kiss to get through, and it had been a quick and awkward one at that. They had looked completely embarrassed and practically ran away as the twins laughed, and they laughed for a good few minutes. Glad that they had finally caught an unbonded pair, and two bots who weren't even dating at that.
"That was great." Sunstreaker got out between laughs.
"Yeah. Hopefully we can do that again. The looks on their faces was priceless." The two couldn't help but laugh again, and even Spike was laughing. After a few minutes they finally managed to calm down, and they sat in silence for a few minutes before more heavy footsteps were heard.
"Oh this should be good." Sideswipe announced excitedly as he noticed that Ironhide and Ratchet were coming down the hall after peeking around the corner. Just like most of the other duos before them, they too paused in the doorway staring at the mistletoe in confusion. "Its mistletoe so you have to kiss." Sideswipe called to the two mechs.
"What?" Ratchet asked, optics narrowing in a glare. Which normally was absolutely terrifying but at the moments the twins hardly noticed it.
"Its an earth tradition." Sunstreaker explained further. Ratchet and Ironhide looked at Spike questioningly.
"Is it?"
"Yeah it is." The young human rubbed the back of his neck, now wishing he could be anywhere else. The twin's grins grew wider as they watched the larger bots, and they fully expected them to put up a fight, and refuse to take part in the tradition. That's why it came as such a shock when Ratchet and Ironhide kissed each other, on the lips, right in front of them. It wasn't a quick kiss either like the other kisses they had seen, theirs lingered. The twin's and Spike's mouths dropped open in shock, and when the medic and weapon specialist pulled away from each other they turned back to look at the three in amusement.
"We didn't think you would actually do it." Sideswipe managed to squeak out.
"Well why wouldn't we do it? We are bonded after all." Ironhide stated.
"You are?"
"Yep." Ratchet answered smirk growing wider. The twins fell back and hit the ground hard, CPUs having crashed in shock. "Well that should keep them quiet for awhile. Come on." Ratchet tugged on Ironhide's arm and started leading him to the control room.
"Cya later Spike." Ironhide called over his shoulder.
"Cya." Spike said watching the two go, now more confused than ever.
After having spoken to Optimus, Ratchet turned to Ironhide. "I'm going to need help dragging the twins to the medbay."
"What happened to them?" Optimus asked, raising an optic ridge.
"Oh well they just fainted after they found out Ratchet and Ah were bonded." Ironhide explained with a shrug.
"And now I'm going to have to revive the two of them." Ratchet added just as casually.
Everything in the control room had gone completely still and silent, and everyone except Optimus looked at the two mechs in shock. The silence was then broken as Jazz whistled and there was a loud clang as Prowl hit the floor, CPU having crashed.
Ratchet sighed. "Make that three."
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