The usual disclaimer: Ranma ½ is a trademark of Rumiko Takahashi and VIZ Communications, and its characters have been borrowed without permission. This story was written for non-commercial purposes only.

A set of four Christmas one-shots tied together that should be worth a chuckle or two. While these stories follow the "Kasumi's Fate" ("Bindings") Chronicles, it's not necessary to have read any of the previous stories. You do need to know a few things though:

1) Mousse has been broken of his love for Shampoo (in a very vicious manner). He has also learned that the Amazons do not want him to return to China. However, the Nerima crowd has immediately laid claim to him. Cologne is still one of the Amazons, but has lost interest in returning to her village, at least for now.

2) Kasumi and Tofu are engaged and due to be married within two weeks. Just as an added complication, the readers found out way back in "Kasumi's Fate" that Tofu is also mage and is part Kitsune. Friends that have known him for a while will refer to him as "Fox" sometimes.

3) Ranma and Akane are happily engaged now and are united soul-to-soul leading to some very interesting implications.

4) The government of Japan believes (falsely) that Ranma's sire is Tofu's deceased brother (a very long story). Ranma has been formally adopted by Mrs. Ono and is now legally Tofu's brother. She also recently adopted Mousse as well. Tofu is effectively Ranma's and Mousse's guardian now. Both live with Tofu at the Clinic, but the three spend most of their free time at the Tendo Dojo. Ryoga is considered to be an unofficial Ono brother as he is Ranma's foster brother (another very long story). Ryoga is not in this story though as he is north with Akari.

5) Nodoka is (and still considered to be) Ranma's mother and her marriage to Genma has been annulled. Genma permanently resides in the Nerima zoo and is out-of-the-picture. She is renting a room from the Tendos as she likes being there and they like having her there. She and Soun treat each other as brother and sister and the Tendo daughters treat her as their aunt.

6) The Fiancée Brigade has been disbanded. Ukyo now supports Ranma and Akane, Kodachi has moved on (and is slightly saner), and Shampoo is on the run from the Amazons.

7) Ranma and Akane (and Ryoga) are mages in-training (as well as Martial Artists). Ranma is a Wind Mage and Akane is a Fire Mage (same as Tofu). Tofu is there primary teacher (and Guardian).

8) Daisuke, Hiroshi, Sayuri, and Yuka have been given personalities. The reader should catch on quickly.

Other characters in the story (besides the Ranma ½ cast):

1) Shizuka Jouda is Kasumi's Tai Chi instructor. She's a tough and implacable warrior who loves children, especially the children of her deceased rival and best friend, Kimiko Tendo (even if the "children" are getting up there in years). She's been involved in Kasumi's life off-stage for nearly a decade now.

2) Hideo Jouda is Shizuka's husband. He runs a florist shop in the same building as her dojo. He's a tall, good natured man, with endless patience – especially for his stubborn wife. He's also a very talented Earth mage as well (he's Ryoga's Arcane teacher).

3) Daran Hawk is an old friend of Tofu who possesses no supernatural abilities, but does possess a number of interesting magical and technical artifacts. While he looks (and dresses) like Indiana Jones with dark skin, he is a spy/researcher whose expertise is dealing with the supernatural. He currently serves the mysterious Council and Dr. Tofu is his Team Leader. He also does a good James Bond imitation. He helped out during Akane's and Ranma's first date.

4) Ciren Blake is a tall blond athletic woman who is a master archer (her preferred weapon) as well as a marksman (the rifle is her second favorite weapon). She is also a talented Martial Artist (even by Nerima standards) and trained in swordsmanship. She didn't have much of a sense of humor (due to a bitter childhood), but she's gotten better of late and is patient with the young and inexperienced, despite her hot temper. She is a mechanic, a pilot, a race car driver, a good lounge singer, and has taken Mousse as her apprentice in advance weaponry. She is also dating the local Police Inspector Shoichi Ojima.

5) Tomo is a young, full-blooded Kitsune. The Kitsune Elders have assigned him to help Dr. Tofu who is his cousin (although one of many, so that is not so remarkable). Tomo appears to be the equivalent to a 12-year old human with the exception of the fox tail, ears, and fur. He is very much the typical Kitsune prankster, but has a fondness for the Tendos and the Onos (whether he'll admit it or not). His magic ability is above average for his age, which is why the Elders put him to work.

One last note: For those in the Americas and in Europe, keep in mind that Christmas is celebrated very differently in Japan (for example, high school is in session). Onwards…

Chapter 1 - Friday 12/20/02: Ranma, the Secret Agent

Ranma reviewed his work and decided that it was as near perfect as he could get it. He looked up from his desk and caught the eye of Ms. Hinako at the head of the classroom. She nodded, so he got up and brought the folder to her. Besides the class assignment, the young man also had several other papers with him. They reviewed the work, speaking very quietly until she finally nodded her head and handed him a slip of paper. "You're free, Mr. Ono. See you Tuesday." Actually, Ms. Hinako had told a half-truth. Yes, they would see each other Tuesday, but Hinako was coming to the dojo on Sunday to help Kasumi with wedding preparations.

Still, Ranma accepted the paper, gave a thankful bow, and slipped out of the classroom door silently. Once outside the door, he drank the potion Tofu had given him, and then invoked the Umisen-ken. Now cloaked, he headed off on his errands.

The rest of the class looked at the closing door in puzzlement. "Ms. Hinako let Ranma out of class early? What's up with that?" most of them thought. Akane started in surprise as she felt Ranma invoke one of Tofu's cloaking potions (this kind only worked on mages).

In answer to their questioning looks, Ms. Hinako stood up and covered her fishbowl. Now in her child form, she spoke to the class. "Fair warning: I am not going soft because of the holiday season. Mr. Ono arranged last week to leave class a little early." She held up Ranma's folder and continued: "He had to pay a price of five translated pages for the head start – and I insisted that they be *good* translations." There were a few muttered "whoa's" and a lot of disbelieving looks – the extra work Ms. Hinako assigned always came from English novels that the teacher had for just this purpose – not the student text book. The work could be described as 'difficult' at best.

Ms. Hinako added: "Anyone want to bargain for the same deal? You have to hand the assignment in on Tuesday." No one raised their hand. Ms. Hinako sat down again.

Akane heard Sayuri and Yuka whisper behind her. "He's going after Akane's ring!" Sayuri burst out.

"No, he still has time for that," Yuka disagreed. "They agreed by summertime. I think he's just Christmas shopping. He has to do it when he knows where Akane is. She's getting too good at the Umisen-ken."

"Sneak! I wondered what he was up to!" Akane Tendo thought. "I *helped* him translate those pages!"

Ranma chuckled as he raced to the first of the stores he needed to hit. He was going to 'pay' for this one, but the mock temper tantrum would be worth it. Besides, Akane was sort of cute when she pretended to be mad. He had a limited amount of time before school got out. The potion would block Akane (and others) from tracing him with their minds, but he would need to be visible to shop. Akane wasn't the biggest problem; it was the school gossips like Sayuri. He needed to get the sensitive shopping done quickly.

He ran into Samurakami's Jewelry Shop first. The middle-age man who owned the shop looked up in surprise as Ranma basically appeared in the shop. "Hello Mr. Samurakami!" Ranma burst out.

"Ranma!" the jeweler exclaimed. "You nearly scared the life out of me!"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Samurakami. I'm on a tight schedule. Akane's trapped in class!" Ranma said hurriedly.

The man laughed and said: "All right. All right. But breathe – I can't move as fast as you do no matter what."

"I also need to avoid the gossips!" Ranma said. The jeweler nodded and moved quickly to a drawer behind his counter and took out three small boxes. He gave the first to Ranma who opened it, looked at the contents, and then nodded. The jeweler passed the second to Ranma. The young martial artist repeated his actions with the second box. As Ranma accepted the third box, the door to the shop opened and the jeweler looked up.

"Ah ha!" a mature woman's voice cried out in triumph.

Ranma winced as Mr. Samurakami said: "Why 'Hello', Ms. Saotome. What a coincidence. Your son was just making a purchase."

"He's such a thoughtful boy," Ranma's mother replied. "I'm sure he wants to get his fiancé a lovely Christmas present."

Ranma made a discrete slashing gesture over the three boxes and then tapped them one at a time. The jeweler nodded slightly. Nodoka moved quickly to Ranma's side. "What do we have here?" she asked using a smug voice.

Ranma sighed. "It's not a ring, Mom, and not everything here is from me," he said.

Nodoka was caught halfway between disappointment and disbelief. She grabbed the first box and opened it. Ranma didn't stop her. Inside was an oversized 100 yen coin plated in silver. On it was an inscription – "Friendship and Honor above gold and silver".

"Whose this for?" Nodoka asked puzzled.

"It's for Ukyo. I still owe her the 100 yen for Honor due. Akane and I thought this was a good way to do it," Ranma replied. (1)

Nodoka considered that and then said with a half-smile: "All right, it's not a bad idea, but you'll still have to cough up the 100 yen. This is Ukyo we are talking about." Her voice changed to a purr as she asked: "And the other two?"

Ranma rolled his eyes. "I'm doing a favor for Konatsu and picking up his present for Ukyo." Ranma opened it up and displayed a beautiful butterfly pendant.

"He's got good taste," she approved. She snatched up the last box and opened it. "Oh dear," she breathed. "Ranma, this is beautiful! It's not a ring, but it's wonderful! Akane will love it!"

"And how do you know that you didn't just wreck your Christmas surprise?" he asked archly.

"Because Mr. Samurakami helped you pick this out – there's no way you would know garnet is Akane's birthstone. It's certainly not mine!" she replied. Mr. Samurakami started to chuckle as Nodoka looked closer at the lovely red garnet locket. "You also have 'forget-me-not' flowers on the back of the locket. That flower is for 'true love' – not something you give to your mother," she added pointedly. Ranma turned a little red. She opened the locket and saw the words 'Ranma' and 'Akane' engraved inside. "Ahem," she said as she pointed out the words.

"Fine," Ranma huffed as he took the locket back. He turned to Mr. Samurakami and said: "Please excuse the hurry, but could you please ring up the lot? I have to drop off Konatsu's package before Ukyo returns from school."

Mr. Samurakami nodded and added everything up. Ranma wrote a check for the total which the jeweler accepted without question. Nodoka smirked and asked: "What? No request for ID?"

The jeweler laughed and said: "I only take certified checks – the bank has approved it, so it's good up to a given amount. Besides, I know who he is and where he lives – so does the entire city. Where's he going to hide if he bounces a check?"

Ranma took the bag from the jeweler and kissed his mother on the cheek. "I have to run. Bye!" He blurred out the door.

Nodoka sighed. "I was hoping he'd get on with it," she mourned.

Mr. Samurakami smiled. "It won't speed up the wedding. You're going to have to wait until they turn twenty," he teased. Nodoka just sighed again.

Ranma flew into Ucchan's restaurant and spoke quickly: "Here-you-go-Konatsu-I-have-to-run." Ranma reached into the bag and stopped suddenly as he found an extra piece of paper. His eyes widened as he read the note.

"Trouble, Master Ranma?" Konatsu asked solicitously in his feminine voice.

"No, just the opposite," Ranma replied with a little relief. "I just have to stop by the bank for another check. This might work out yet." He fished out Konatsu's package and handed it to him.

Konatsu opened the box and looked at the item. "Do you think she'll like it?" he asked the shape-shifter.

"Yes, and my mom said you have good taste, so you'll be fine," Ranma said. "Put it away for now."

Konatsu made it vanish and asked: "Can you watch the store for a minute? My money is upstairs."

Ranma shook his head: "I still have to run. You can settle up with me on Christmas day. I trust you." Konatsu nodded his head and Ranma ran off again.

Ranma ran into the musical instrument store. The store also sold singing aids including karaoke recordings and vocal trainers. The shape-shifter was looking for music by an Australia band that Daran had played when Akane and Ranma kissed for the first time. He raced to the counter and said breathlessly to the young clerk there: "Have you ever heard of an Australian group called 'Air Supply'?"

"You're joking right? They're big in southeast Asia and Australia. Do you want their 70 and 80's stuff, their 90's stuff, or the new adult contemporary stuff?" the clerk asked.

Ranma was at a loss until a female's voice chimed out from behind him: "He's looking for their 70's and early 80's pop recordings. It's OK, I'll help him – just let me know when my package arrives."

Ranma winced and thought: "Crap. Next time, check the shop first."

"Thanks, Ciren. Will do. I promise I'll call," the clerk said as Ranma turned around and faced a certain smirking sharp-tongued blonde European woman. The mercenary/lounge singer was wearing her standard black driving jumpsuit.

She grabbed him by the upper arm and pulled him among the store aisles. "Oh dear," she started. "It seems that the great Ranma Ono has a romantic streak buried somewhere deep inside that macho exterior."

"Cut me some slack, Ciren," Ranma almost pleaded. "I only have a little while before Akane gets out of school."

"And how did you get out early?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I cut a deal with Hinako – five pages of makeup work paid and checked up front," he replied.

"Amazing. It must be love," she teased. "What are you looking for? Sheet music or song books?"

"Song books with the karaoke music," he answered.

"Any particular song?" she pressed.

"You know the song. It's the one Daran played for Akane and me. He's told the story enough times," Ranma sighed. (1)

She gave a mock wince and snapped her fingers. "Sorry, I just can't remember the title."

Ranma sighed and rolled his eyes. "The title is 'Making Love Out of Nothing at All'," he said resignedly.

"Ah yes! That's it. It's amazing that you know one of the most sappy love songs ever written. Yet, somehow, it is a power ballad. Admittedly, the duo has some talent," she smirked.

"Not all of us are into opera," he said tartly. "You're lucky that Ojima is."

"And yet, I keep hoping the rest of you will grow up. Ah, here we go," she said as she pulled the book from the shelf. "Anything else?"

"No," he replied. "But thanks for helping me." She nodded and he continued: "You still have an invite for Christmas..."

Her face softened as she said: "Thanks, Ranma, but Ojima and I are planning to visit his parents. They are anxious to meet me, and they sound really nice. They are almost ready to explode with happiness at the thought of their son finally having a girlfriend." They walked back to the front of the store.

"All right, but we'll see you for the wedding?" he checked.

"Oh, I wouldn't miss old Fox getting married for the world," she laughed.

Ranma stopped by the bank and picked up another certified check (he had to move a little slower there so not to upset the tellers). Then he ran to a specialty gift shop store that sold unique handcrafted items. His mom sold some of her Nuido work here, but that's not what he was after. Hideo Jouda was a local florist in town. He was also one of Ranma's and Akane's arcane arts teachers. His power was Earth magic, and he often worked through herb-based scents including incense and perfumes. He also packed the scents into candles and sold the more innocuous spell candles in stores like this one.

His "peace and tranquility" candles were very popular with the general public. The "study" candle was popular with students. Ranma was after the "romance" candles. Akane had mischievously lit one for him recently and the effects had been very interesting – and a little dangerous (both of them had blushed for a day afterwards). He looked through the shelves for a few minutes until he found Hideo's candles and pulled one out that looked right. He smelled the candle and it immediately triggered a memory of Akane from that night. Nodding to himself, he reached for a second candle, but he felt someone next to him drop their Umisen-ken. A hand grabbed his wrist before he could pick up the candle.

"One," Shizuka Jouda said firmly (and a little crossly). The 40-something year old Tai Chi master was dressed in street clothes, but her warrior bearing shone from her.

"Do I have some sort of tracking device on me?" Ranma wondered silently with a good deal of exasperation. Out loud, his voice betrayed none of this. "The candle only lasts two hours," Ranma said innocently to his teacher.

"But the effects last for four," she stated. "And how do you know how long it lasts?"

"Ask your foster niece," Ranma replied. "Turn-about is fair play," Ranma added with a little smugness while holding up the one candle.

"One!" Shizuka repeated more than a little crossly.

"Fine. One," he agreed. She let go of his wrist.

"I wish he wouldn't sell those!" she grumbled.

"C'mon, this is your husband we are talking about. They only work if the couple is in love," Ranma told her. "And they don't force anyone to do anything they don't want to do. These are not 'rape' candles – they actually make you more considerate of your partner, not less."

"You know all this about the candles?" Shizuka asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I have some mage training," Ranma replied with a smug tone. "Despite what my teachers say. And I did get hit with one. It hit us harder than Akane expected, but the end result was harmless." He reflected silently: "Although the 'after-discussions' over the next few days were a lot of fun too."

Shizuka sighed with annoyance but stood aside so Ranma could complete the purchase. Even though the young man was absolutely correct about the candles, there was still something about him having one that bothered her. She briefly thought about ratting him out to his mother, but Nodoka would only turn around and buy out the store for him. Tofu and Kasumi would only tell Shizuka that it wasn't any of their business – there was no way Ranma would ever knowingly hurt Akane. Admittedly, they would be right on both counts. Trying to use Nabiki as a moral authority would be totally useless. Shizuka didn't even think about talking to Soun – nobody would talk to her for a year if that disaster occurred. She sighed again as he walked away from the sales counter.

"See you soon," Ranma called out and then vanished. The irony was not lost on Shizuka…

Yuka sat down at Mr. Saitou's café and looked over the pamphlets Ms. Hinako had given her. She was planning on attending one of the accountancy business schools after graduation. The teacher had tried to talk Yuka into attending a four-year school, but Yuka wasn't honestly that interested in college, so Hinako had found the pamphlets for her. The two-year course would allow her to start working for someone not her father. She loved her dad, but she knew she couldn't work for him indefinitely without going crazy. She had no real interest in leaving Nerima though – she liked the city and was comfortable here with her family and friends. Besides, Hiroshi was attending a local four-year school to become an Emergency Medical Technician (which also meant becoming a fireman) and the two teenagers had talked about a possible future together, although neither was in a rush. The end result still brought a smile to Yuka's lips. (3)

She ordered some tea and an apricot tart. She often came here to think because her school chums felt the café was too boring to hang out here. Admittedly, the clientele was on the older side of life – mostly established business folks and the like until 5PM. In the evenings, Mr. Saitou brought out the televisions and drew in the sports crowds (he was an avid baseball fan himself). But, Yuka could count on some peace and quiet until then. After reviewing the brochures, the young lady picked three schools to follow up on. These schools had tougher entrance requirements, but also had better reputations. She was confident of her abilities and wasn't worried.

Yuka then looked around the café and people-watched. Immediately, she picked up on a red-haired waitress wearing a pony-tail and thick glasses. Ranma was not waiting near her table though. "People are idiots," she thought while shaking her head. "How does anyone not pick up on his disguises? Or is it that a waitress is normally invisible to the customer? Yuka watched for a bit, trying to figure out if there was anything special about the clientele. "Ranma is not that hard up for cash that he needs to take a second job. What is he up to?"

She continued to ponder this until Mr. Samurakami entered the shop at exactly 4PM. Yuka knew who the jeweler was, but his presence didn't raise any alarm bells. Everyone was allowed to eat after all. Ranma went over and immediately took his order. While she left to retrieve his food, Mr. Samurakami reached into a pocket and placed a small box on his table. Yuka's eyes narrowed when she observed the jeweler's action, but then widened as the box vanished when Ranma brought the order back.

"Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear…" ran shrieking through her mind over and over again. She had to concentrate to keep from yelling out loud. Finally, she managed to choke down her emotions and think clearly. "There's no way that's a Christmas gift. The yoyo is over-acting again – that's gotta be the ring. I can't say anything. This only happens once and I will not wreck it for Akane. I can't even tell Sayuri – I love her, but she is the biggest gossip on the planet. When Akane shows me the ring, I have to act surprised. Damn, damn, damn…"

The excited young woman practiced deep breathing and watched as Ranma presented the bill to Mr. Samurakami. The jeweler removed a piece of paper under the bill and pocketed it. Yuka saw clearly that it was a bank check. "Bingo!" her mind shrieked. "That's it! Must keep quiet…Must keep quiet…"

"Augh!" she screamed silently. "This isn't fair! How dare the twit do this to me!" She put her forehead down on the table and tried to think clearly. "Wait! Maybe I can use this to my advantage!" Yuka mulled over a few things and picked a course of action. She paid her bill and walked outside without drawing undue attention to herself. Then she walked around to the back of the building and waited outside the backdoor. Sure enough, Ranma appeared within fifteen minutes. "Hello, Ranma," Yuka purred.

"Ack!... I mean… Yuka! What a surprise! What are you doing here?" Ranma stumbled.

"You should have monitored the restaurant a little more closely after you got there. I watched your little transaction with Mr. Samurakami," Yuka told the red-head.

Ranma started to say "Who?" but Yuka just held her eyes and Ranma abandoned the act. Instead, the shape-changer begged: "C'mon, please Yuka? I'm only going to do this once. Please don't say anything?"

"Are you going to do it soon?" Yuka pressed. "How long do I have to keep quiet?"

"Not too long. It's just for a couple of weeks," Ranma pleaded.

Yuka pretended to think about it. "Well, maybe…if you do me a small favor…" she finally said.

"How small?" Ranma asked warily.

"I know you set up that training program for Hiroshi," Yuka stated. (4) Ranma winced. "I'm pretty sure I know why you did it, too," Yuka added. "What I don't know is how far along he is or what sort of equipment he's going to need next. I want to get him a better Christmas gift. You tell me, and I'll promise to keep quiet – I won't even tell Sayuri."

Ranma started to ask "How do you…" and stopped again at the knowing look from Yuka. "Fine," the red-head gave in. "He's going to need heavier weights than what he has. You can start with some 10kg or 15kg hand weights. The 5kg weights he has will be useless shortly. Don't get him any dumbbell weights – he really should be in a gym with spotters for anything heavier than he has. O.K.?"

"O.K. I can afford some hand weights. You can't say anything either," she pressed.

"Deal!" Ranma sighed. "Then I'm going to give up any hope of being a spy."

Footnotes:
(1) In "The Destruction of Ranma Saotome – Combustion," Ukyo declared legally that she would release Ranma from all obligations if he also released her, but he must pay 100 yen (approximately $1) to acknowledge the wrong done to her by Genma Saotome. Looks like Ranma found a good way to do it.

(2) Happened in "The Date".

(3) As detailed in the last chapter of "The Beach Trip".

(4) Daisuke talked about it during the last chapter of "The Beach Trip".