Sawyer and Horace headed back over to Bill's with a stack of assembled filing boxes in hand and a moving dolly. Sawyer hadn't had a chance to come back after Halloween and was really hoping this would be a routine situation.

He couldn't help but replay the visuals of moving through this place after the party. It seemed different in the daylight. His heart had been pounding pretty fast and even now he felt the tiniest bit out of breath. The two of them started in the bedroom and boxed up Bill's clothes and personal belongings. Bill didn't have much which kept things simple.

Sawyer emptied the dressers and sat down at the edge of the bed to open the bedside table drawer... again. He knew it was empty because he had emptied it but he did it for show. Horace watched him carefully as he moved around the room.

Sawyer's chest tightened as he remembered pulling out Juliet's bandanna that the Cowboy had saved. He closed the drawer and Horace moved to the bathroom, seeming confident that nothing of interest remained in the bedroom. Sawyer could hear his stacking the photo trays and emptying the medicine cabinet. From the corner of his eye he saw a photo on the floor, half under the bed. He bent down realizing he'd missed it and that it had probably fallen off the bed in his fury the other night. Sawyer sat on the side of the bed, staring at the snapshot.

He had watched Billy Boy attack Juliet in his own place and wasn't able to do a damn thing about it, he'd felt like he was 8 years old but instead of hiding under the bed he'd been bound and gagged in plain sight to witness every move. He and Juliet hadn't talked about that night in any type of detail nor had he had time to really think about the events since they'd happened. To be honest, he'd initially had a hard time remembering how the night had ended. It was coming back in waves and right now was a big one.

...

Sawyer watched Bill move the chair from the door his eyes briefly shooting over to him with a dark twinkle as Juliet called out through the partially open door to him. Sawyer could see Bill's nostrils flaring with adrenaline. He'd trying yelling but his sounds didn't get past the muffled gag fast enough.

Juliet entered mid sentence and Bill plowed into her. She'd turned away raising her shoulders up, her hands instinctively moving to cover her head but they didn't make it. Her body was thrust into the wall. Juliet's knees buckled an she bounced off of it like a damn rag doll.

...

Sawyer felt his breath quickening.

He had tried to stand but the leverage wasn't there. One of his legs was tied and the way his arms were bound behind him around the chair- mobility wasn't possible. Each time he rocked, his chair plopped back down under his weight. His legs felt weak as sat there on Bill's bed replaying the beginnings of that night. The helplessness he'd felt was like being in a new level of hell.

...

Juliet had dropped like a rock. The Cowboy had caught her, his arms easily wrapping around her from behind. She'd been temporarily stunned but as Bill spun them, Juliet' head snapped back up and she continued her struggle to escape. She'd kicked the door shut in an attempt to push off it.

Sawyer recalled watching the door slam shut and feeling his chest sink. He'd yanked uselessly on his restraints. Bill had let out an amused huff then shifted his focus fully on containing her. He twisted and swept Juliet's feet out from under her before she could get her footing. She was instantly taken down with a heavy thud to the floor - in a heap with Bill on top of her. They both stilled instantly upon impact.

Juliet's blond waves were covering her face and Sawyer tried to holler her name. Bill was pressing against her as she tried to free her arms from beneath them. She was stuck. The asshole moved so fast, quickly yanking her right arm out from under her, folding it up behind her back, forcing her chest squarely into the floor. Juliet let out her first audible sound as a sharp cry. Sawyer was trying to shift himself high enough to get his arms over the back of the chair. He watched in anger as Bill's heavy hands held Juliet down with ease.

Casanova had leaned in and whispered something in Juliet's ear and Sawyer felt his skin chill then glisten in a new wave of rage. The corners of his mouth burned against his gag. Whatever he'd said sent Juliet into a tailspin and she surged- trying to push off the floor. Bill responded by grabbing her hair. He pulled her - arching her head back like a puppet. Sawyer could see her face for the first time. Juliet's expression was one of fear, frustration and pain. She still hadn't seen him. Her left arm shot up grabbing hold of her hair too.

"No..." Juliet's struggling voice echoed in his mind, her tone was breathy and panicked as her nose flared.

...

Sawyer set down the photo and rubbed his palms down the tops of his thighs with a sigh. What was this feeling? Was he having some sort of anxiety attack? He vaguely acknowledged that Horace was still milling about in the other room but when he looked up Horace had actually moved back into the door frame and was watching him from the doorway with a questioning expression. Sawyer's expression in return was one of defeat.. He picked up the photo to show Horace, tipping his head to silently say "Yeh.. I missed this too"

The photo was of Juliet, Jin and Miles. He knew that night well- It was the day he and Jin had bumped into Richard outside the fence and also the night Juliet showed up drunk from the beach with Jin and Miles escorting her back to their house. Sawyer swallowed hard and almost audibly growled as he placed the evidence into a box. He'd remembered feeling like someone was watching that night but had chalked it up paranoia because of Richard.

"You have every right to be angry Jim." Horace said pausing as he finished shuffling items from the bathroom into a box.

"Yeh yeh, I know. It's just... I ain't used to lettin' my guard down and I screwed up on this one."

"Your boat crashed, you lost everything except the clothes on your back including most of your crew. You were.. for lack of better terms, stranded on a mysterious island with a buncha nerdy scientists and had no idea where you were or how you got here. Not to mention... one of the people you were trying to protect, someone you clearly care about was in harms way without your knowledge." Horace paused and moved in taking the photo up to have a closer look.

"I feel the same way every time anything happens to one of my workers. As you well know, it's a sometimes overwhelming responsibility, to Captain a crew. But Jim, you're still here and you have...contrary to my original opinion about not being "Dharma material", shown that you deserve to be here. You've risen to each challenge and come through... relatively unscathed. I'd say that shows a lot about you as a leader."

"Gee, thanks, Boss" Sawyer said sarcastically, feeling his face redden in embarrassment as he attempted to lighten the seriousness of the mood.

Luckily for Sawyer, the phone rang. He quickly picked it up and shot Horace a "Saved by the bell" look.

"Yeh. LaFleur here. Ah-yup. Just a sec."

Sawyer held the receiver out to Horace and moved down the hall to pack the living room. As he stepped into the living room he noticed Horace had drawn the curtains open and the sunlight was beaming in right on a small roll top desk he'd not seen before. He squinted suspiciously then quickly moved to it and yanked the cover. The desk was locked. Sawyer felt his chest tighten and he jumped as Horace's voice sounded from right behind him.

"Sonova..."

Horace moved closer stuffing his hands into his pocket as he rolled back on his hells and answered- clearly already having known about the desk.

"It's locked. We'll need to find the key or have Roger come open it. If there's anything of importance in there Jim, we'll find it."

Sawyer's face flashed a hint borderline panic. That's what he was afraid of! It must've been covered by Bill's clothes - how'd he not seen it? If Horace wasn't here right now that desk would be lying in two pieces.. Sawyer took a deep breath and nodded agreeably like it was just an inconvenience.

"Yeh. Sure thing."

Inside he was screaming. Horace stacked about 4 boxes on the moving dolly and pushed the glasses up his nose.

"Well, I meant to have more of a chance to talk to you but it looks like I have to take care of something that can't wait. You alright to finish up?"

PERFECT!

"Ah yeh-'Course Chief." Sawyer said casually moving away from the desk and scooping a few magazines off a side table in an attempt to look disinterested.

"Great! If you'd just drop the key at Roger's when your done... O and Jim- don't forget, meeting tonight after your shift. I'll need ya there."

Sawyer nodded.

Horace tossed him the key and gave him a boy scout salute as he headed out.

Sawyer waited a moment and moved to the window careful to look like he "wasn't' watching" to be sure that Horace wasn't returning. Then he turned to the desk with an angry expression.

"Tell Roger to open it" he said loudly in sarcastic frustration. "The hell I will!" Sawyer spat as he dropped down and began feeling all the corners under and around the desk. Nothing.

"Damnitt, Cowboy!" Sawyer voiced aloud. His eyes frantically made their way around the room. "Think Sawyer think!" His mind flashed back upon several of the people he'd conned over the years and their *hiding places for valuables. He headed to the bathroom, lifting the tank off the toilet- Nothing. He made his way back into the bedroom and drug his hand along every underside and back of each piece of furniture. Nothing. He walked back to the living room . Sawyer moved to the kitchen. He checked on top of the fridge and in the junk drawers...Maybe he could pick it. He'd picked locks before he just hadn't done it without a lock pick set. He rifled through the kitchen and turned back to face the living room empty handed. He was not about to ask Roger of all people, for help.

His eyes darted around the living room then stopped cold on large picture frame hanging on the wall near the desk. It was slightly off kilter. Sawyer tipped his head the direction of the tilt as he approached it. He plucked the frame off the hook and flipped it over to find himself grinning in victory as he stared a small silver key taped to the back of the picture.

"Thank youuu-Billy Boy" Sawyer said as he ripped the key from it's home.

Upon initially opening the desk, nothing looked suspicious. There were a few "Letters from home" from Bill's mother. He opened the middle drawer and pulled out a beat up spiral bound notebook. Flipping it open at first glance it appeared to be some type of *dream diary". BINGO!

Sawyer dropped onto Bill's couch. He flipped through and saw page after page of dates and scrawlings. some notes were loosely inserted here and there as though Bill had written them later and added them in once he remembered. If anything, this was hard evidence of Bill's deteriorated mental state. The pages start out fairly legible and by the end of the entries the writing may as well have been in Korean as far as Sawyer could tell. He opened his jumpsuit and stuffed the book into the front of his pants before locking the desk back up and heading out. He needed time to go through all this stuff and see how personal Billy Boy had gotten about them...or more specifically, Juliet.

...

It had been a thankfully uneventful day at the Motor Pool. Juliet had been able to keep mostly to herself and Kevin seemed content to just small talk in between tasks. She guessed he was glad that she'd decided to handle the end of month paperwork as she knew Kevin found it to be tedious and boring in every way. Jesse had been recruited to help get all boats in tip top shape for transport of guests that were to be coming in on the sub so he had only stopped in briefly at lunchtime before disappearing down by the boathouse for the rest of his day.

Juliet couldn't deny that she felt waves of guilt just being there. Her memories were assaulting her in bursts. She couldn't not think of Bill. They'd worked in that space for so long together that most everything there reminded her of something. He had not been a bad person in the beginning. Complicated yes, but no more so than she was. Where had it all gone so wrong? She had to keep reminding herself that the person she killed wasn't the same guy that she'd met when she arrived here. He was just a shell of his former self.

Ironically- Juliet felt the same about herself. She was such a completely different being from when she'd arrived here. Not just in Dharmaville... but on the island... The island changed people... and if it couldn't bend you to it's will- it found a way to kill you. Some days Juliet had no idea who she was or what she was capable of and other days she felt the exact opposite. Ben was also flashing through her mind. Not 10 year old Ben, but Ben Linus, leader of "The Others". The way he manipulated situations and always had everyone exactly where he wanted them in order to fulfill his objectives. She felt like a version of him right now. Deception always left her with a sunken chested feeling.

Juliet did a lot of thinking as she sat in the office- there were no tears. She had accepted that things had to happen this way. "Whatever happened happened." She tried not to think about that phrase too often- because she knew the truth, the end all of the Dharma Initiative. The people who didn't leave here would be dead in 13 years- or defect and turn into "Others".

"Hey-oooo Earth to Juliet? You hearin' me?" Kevin's voice drifted in from the doorway. The record was skipping at it's end and Kevin was staring at her with raised brows, an unlit cigarette hanging from his lips.

Juliet blinked in embarrassment an let out small huff. She had been a million miles away. Kevin eyed the record player and Juliet turned and picked up the needle.

"Sorry."

"Why? You've been staring at papers all day, I'm not complainin', Just finished cleanin' up for the night- you 'bout ready?"

Juliet looked up at the clock on the wall, it was nearly 5. She looked back to Kevin with a smile. His hand was idly feeling the back of his scalp and his sunglasses where holding his blond shaggy hair back like a headband. Juliet was suddenly reminded that he'd just had stitches in his head a few days before.

"How's your head?" Juliet inquired in a motherly tone.

"Still tender, good news is I can't see it though - could be worse! ha. My arm on the other hand- is itchy and rubbing on every thing I walk by."

"Heh, Just keep it covered. You'll be alright. I've burned myself a few times on hot engines before too- though not since I was a "rookie" Juliet shot sarcastically.

"Yes ma'am and ... Har har, very funny." Kevin rattled back as he rolled his eyes. He lifted his arm showing that his jumpsuit was serving as a sufficient "covering" with a smirk.

"I'm glad you're okay" She ended sincerely with a slow blink.

"Yeh yeh, no need to get all mushy. I'll close the big door." Kevin said happily changing the subject as he lit his smoke and pushed the button outside the office. The loud door creaked and moaned until it reached the ground.

Juliet stacked her papers in 2 neat piles and moved out - closing the office behind herself. Kevin punched his card through the time clock then held up Juliet's waiting for her to nod before punching the time on hers as well.

"Ahh, the last day of peace and quiet before the sub crazies get in." He said as he moved over and held the side door open.

"Yep. It's gunna be an interesting week." Juliet said as she gingerly moved towards him.

"Ya all good?" Kevin inquired.

"Leg fell asleep" she stated as Kevin eyed her limp. He laughed.

"Ha, Cool-cool. Let's blow this joint! Speakin of... You know where to find me if you wanna relax this week. Sub comin' in means my stash should be fully restored to it's groovy glory by tomorrow night!" He flipped his cigarette and started holding it like a joint, letting his sunglasses fall into place on his face. He took a drag of his cigarette and blew out two perfect smoke rings before giving her a slow nod of accomplishment "Awe yeahh"

"Want me to walk ya?" Kevin said as they both exited the building and Juliet turned to lock the door.

"Naw- I'm good- thanks."

"K. Catch ya on the flip side' Peace!" Kevin said as he turned and headed towards his house.

"Night. "

...

Juliet headed home to shower and change. She had left her hair twisted up in a sloppy knot on top of her head. Juliet changed her bandage, her leg was no longer swelling. The bruising was still visually significant but she was pleased with how well it was healing. She'd chosen khaki pants and a long sleeve white flowy top making her sun-kissed highlights stand out from her naturally golden locks. She'd added a light amount of make-up to hide the small remains of her facial injuries.

It was time to go and lie to Amy.

The phone rang and Juliet moved to the kitchen to answer it. It was James. The convesation was short.

"You headin' over there now?"

"Yeh, You call to wish me luck?"

"You ain't gunna need it. You got this."

"I feel awful."

"I know. Jus...Explain it like we talked about. it'll be fine."

"Yeh."

"Hey...?" James paused like he had something to tell her.

"Yeh?"

"Nothin' It'll wait... Good luck..."

"James?" Juliet waited for him to pause and then she said it. It was sweet and sincere.

"I love you"

"Love you back" He replied. Juliet smiled and closed her eyes because she could almost see his dimples as she listened to him.

"See you tonight Blondie" he ended before hanging up.

...

Amy opened her door as Juliet was still making her way up the porch steps, making it impossible to hide her limp.

"Are you okay? I'm so sorry I didn't even ask last night with all the fuss that had happened! I should've stayed! What a terrible friend I am!"

Juliet shook her head with a smile. Secretly she was glad Amy had been shocked enough to leave them because the way it had all unfolded none of them really had a viable story yet. She redirected her attention back to Amy and reached out to touch her arm.

"Don't be sorry~ Please. I wasn't exactly forthcoming with information either. I didn't meant o be so... elusive it was just that none of us really knew how to explain it... and we hadn't had a chance to..."

"I know, I know! You know I was just making sure my favorite person on this stupid island was safe right?" Amy opened the door wide so that Juliet could make her way in.

"And that is why I love you... Oh, dinner smells lovely!" Juliet said as the smell of baked chicken and potatoes wafted into the entryway.

"Awe thanks! Can I get you something?"

"Tea?... would be... wonderful, thank you!"

"Absolutely." Amy turned and stuttered her step for a moment then spun back. She looked suddenly nervous, like she had something to say. Juliet waited patiently knowing Amy was about to spill whatever beans she was holding.

"It has been a crazy few days- getting everything ready for the sub and making sure everything is in order... I have been all over the barracks today. "

"Yes I can imagine. I actually kind of miss new recruit day. Jessie was down at the boathouse and we just finished our inventory and oil changes today." Juliet replied casually.

"I.. stopped by security... to bring Horace lunch." Amy blurted out.

Juliet's eyes hit the floor and she smiled confirming her theory that this was why Amy was acting odd.

"I see." Juliet said waiting for her continue.

"I read the statements. I'm sorry I should've just asked but I thought you might be upset with me and..."

"It's okaaay Amy, I'm glad. I was trying to figure out how to start such an odd conversation. "Soo- seen any good Smoke Monsters lately?"" Juliet huffed at herself. Amy let out a soft laugh as well. It was awkward but both of them were clearly relieved.

"I was just really worried, and I still am. After what happened with Bill going all crazy and his disappearance and all"

"Right, I understand. I can't help but think about that too."

Juliet swallowed at the mention of Bill's name. Amy sighed at the release of information and turned back to the kitchen, Juliet followed. She pulled down two tea cups as Amy started the kettle. Juliet leaned on the counter and listened as Amy attempted to make small talk about the rest of her day.

"I went to the school house first thing, there are 2 new students that will be coming in with parents on the sub so I wanted to make sure everything was in order for them- then I stopped by maintenance to be sure they had the available houses ready annnddd... at lunch I poked my head into the security station, as I said earlier... after I got home, Heather called from records... to have me look at a file that had just come in... "

Amy stopped there, pulled the baking dish out of the oven and looked at Juliet. Juliet closed her eyes knowing that "Heather from records" was one of Amy's favorite gossip friends.

"Anyone I know?" Juliet asked as though the question really needed an answer.

The tea Kettle whistled and Amy reached for Juliet's mug pouring the hot water and passing it back with the name Juliet already knew she would say...

"Bill" Amy said guiltily.

"Heather had the backpack, the one your eyes got really wide over when I went to pick it up off of your kitchen? I saw what was in there. Juliet I am sooo sorry. I had no idea- Did you know about them? All those months, all those pictures of you... of US. It was so sobering... It realy does just go to show that you really cannot know what people are capable of."

If she only knew. Juliet thought as her vision blurred and she drifted off into the depths of her mind.

...

She'd landing heavily in front of the bed side table. Her wrist burned from being torn free from it's restraints. The sheet was still wound around her torso and legs. Her fingers blindly reached above her into the drawer and looped through the trigger of the cold metal pistol. She'd swiftly pulled it out and painfully tucked her knees up to her chest, resting the dead weight of her arms on her knees as she aimed at the figure silhouetted in the light of the hallway. Bill was dragging James back into the hall by his feet. He'd already beaten James enough that he was unable to get any leverage. Bill had froze when he saw her there. He'd dropped James's leg and reached out in a "Please, no." gesture that she knew well from first hand use. But Juliet's mind had gone blank- her instinct had kicked in and... she had fired.

...

It was slow motion as it replayed in her head the ringing of that fateful shot lingered in her ears when Amy called her back to reality.

"Well enough of that! What a depressing topic right? Let's eat! On... to bigger and better things... Horace says some important people will be arriving tomorrow. That's exciting right? I think they are here to decide whether or not to continue the Dharma Initiative but I cannot confirm it yet!. How odd would it be to have to leave here and join the real world?! "

Juliet smiled sincerely, her eyes still mildly glazed over as Amy dished her a plate and the two of them sat down to eat.

"Yeh, wouldn't that be strange..." She echoed idly as she sipped her tea