I don't own Harry Potter sadly, it belongs to the fabulous J. K. Rowling

This is a Christmas story for Cathcer1984, Happy Christmas hun I hope you enjoy your story x. I got carried away with this one, it will have two chapters.

Summary: They say you never know what you have got until you lose it, or you never know what you have got until you have nearly lost it. Severus and Harry find this out the hard way.

Warnings: malexmale, mpreg, infidelity, angst but happy ending.

I apologise in advance for any mistakes I may have made

Harry was under the invisibility cloak, he saw a man walk towards his lover Severus' shop and hurried forwards, to catch up and make sure he got in the shop before the man closed the door. The man walked in and called out Severus' name giving Harry plenty of time to walk in and stand to the side.

Severus walked out from the back and looked the man up and down. "Joseph." he nodded as he walked over and turned the sign on his door stating he was closed for so long before casting spells Harry knew as silencing charms.

Harry watched as Severus took the man's hand and led him through to the back. He took a deep breath, and decided to wait a few minutes before following slowly, when he did he immediately wished he hadn't. The man Joseph was bent over a table as Severus fucked him hard, the table rattling, items that were on the table now on the floor.

Harry couldn't stop the tears, he knew Severus was having an affair, for weeks Severus had been smelling like other men, he was told it was potions he could smell but Harry wasn't stupid, Severus had also distanced himself from Harry. Not as eager in bed as he used to be, he knew he was having an affair but to see it right in front of him almost killed him.

The man Joseph moaned. "Fuck Severus, I must be a special one for you to have me a few times." he moaned.

"Only because I love a tight arse and none come tighter than yours." Severus moaned as he fucked the man harder.

"Sounds like I am not the only one you fuck besides the golden boy wonder you refuse to give up."

"You know you are not and do not mention Harry while we are fucking." Severus said as he slapped the man's arse, rendering the man to only moan from then on.

Harry backed back into the shop and cast silencing charms so he could disapparate without being heard. Severus was fucking different men? Was Harry's last thought before he collapsed onto the sofa where he cried himself into a fitful sleep.

Harry was woken by a hand on his shoulder shaking him gently. "Harry?"

Harry gasped as he woke up and looked up to see Severus looking at him with a concerned look on his face. "Why have you been crying?"

Harry shot up. "I haven't been." he lied.

"Harry you have tear stains on your cheeks and you were mumbling in your sleep." he said as he wrapped his arms around Harry.

Harry inhaled and smelt Severus mixed with potions as well as something else... him, Severus couldn't even shower first? Harry pushed himself out of Severus' arms, a place he used to loving being in. "I said I haven't been, I'm going to go and shower." Harry whispered as he started to walk away.

"Want company?"

Harry looked over his shoulder at the question to see Severus smiling at him. He loved that smile, before he knew it was only him who got to see it as he always saw it after Severus had come after sex, meaning it was no longer a smile that was just his. "No... sorry I need to think." Harry mumbled and ran from the room.

Severus frowned. "Think about what?" he asked, raising his voice as Harry ran. "Harry! Think about what?"

Harry stepped into the shower and started to scrub himself where Severus had touched him when he walked in. "Didn't even shower." he mumbled as he scrubbed. "Went from touching him to touching me." he cried, the water from the shower hiding his tears, all of a sudden Harry stopped when he realised what he had said, Severus touching another man like that when with him, fucking him, cheating on him... Harry slid down the tiles and pulled his knees up to his chest.

Severus knocked on the bathroom door when he heard no sign of Harry moving about, the shower was still on but for over twenty minutes? Severus walked in when he got no answer and stopped short when he saw Harry on the floor of the shower, the shower raining down on his head, his knees up to his chest. "Harry!" he said as he turned the shower off and dropped to his knees and picked Harry up.

Sitting him on the side near the sink Severus waved his wand, drying Harry before wrapping a big towel around him. "Harry what's wrong?" he asked as he held his young lover close.

"You smell different." was all Harry said.

"Potions, I was trying something new and I got covered."

Harry couldn't help it, he broke down then and there on Severus' shoulder, clinging on tight to the man he loved with every fibre of his being despite what he had witnessed, it nearly killed him when he saw Severus fucking the other man but knew leaving Severus would finish him off. He couldn't leave, he didn't want to, he didn't want to be alone, not again.

"Harry please tell me what is wrong?"

Harry pulled back and looked up into the worried eyes of his lover of two years. "Shower, get rid of that smell and join me in bed."

"Harry..."

"Severus please, just... please." he said and slid off the side, dropping the towel in the wash basket before walking naked from the bathroom. Not knowing Severus watched him walk away with narrowed eyes, watching him carefully.

While Severus was in the shower Harry lay in bed thinking, he couldn't leave Severus, it would kill him, Ginny's words struck in his head when he thought of living with Severus and never mentioning what he had witnessed that afternoon. 'I'd rather be alone than unhappy, and that is what I will be if I stay with him.'

Harry sighed. He agreed with Ginny and hugged her for her decision telling her it was the right thing to do, he had to leave Severus, he knew it would kill him doing it but he had to, he knew he would be unhappy if he stayed with him, knowing Severus was fucking others and then coming home to him.

It was decided, he would go and stay with Draco for a couple of weeks, tell Severus he was going to stay with his aunt Petunia for a couple of weeks, since his Uncle Vernon's passing Harry kept in touch with his aunt, Severus never went with him and never contacted him when there as his aunt was still a bit shaky around magic, Harry always contacted him first.

Draco wouldn't tell Severus that Harry was with him, not after he was told why Harry has left, he couldn't go to Ron or Hermione's, Ron would only say told you so and that he would hurt you in the end and Hermione would go off on one and go straight to Severus and Harry didn't want that, Severus would know that Harry knew what he was doing, but he would know when Harry was ready to let him know. He just needed a couple of weeks without Severus to think properly and get his head around it all, tonight would be their last night together, tonight as far as Harry was concerned was them saying goodbye.

Severus walked into their room and sat on the edge of the bed. "Are you alright my world?"

Harry held the hand that was touching his cheek. "I will be. Severus will you do something for me?"

"Anything."

"Make love to me?"

Severus leaned over Harry and kissed him slowly. "Always." he whispered.

Draco had just finished his breakfast when an urgent knocking sounded on his door. "Alright alright I am coming!" he said as he hurried to the door and wrenched it open, an insult on his lips dying when he saw Harry stood there, a small case in his hand, tears running down his face. "Harry?"

"I've left him Draco. I have had to." he cried, dropping the bag and falling forward making Draco act quick and catch him.

"Harry what's happened?" he asked as he he picked up Harry's bag and keeping one arm around around the brunet he kicked the door shut with his foot as he led his friend into the living room.

Harry sat on the sofa and stared into Draco's face when the blond crouched down in front of him making eye contact. "What happened Harry?"

Harry swallowed the lump in his throat before telling the man in front of him everything, his suspicions, him following, what he witnessed and what happened when Severus got home.

"Oh Harry I am sorry. I truly believed that my godfather loved you enough not to do this to you, I mean he gives people his death glare if they so much as smile at you."

"Please Draco. I know he is your godfather but he can't know, I will let him know when I am ready, he thinks I am at Petunia's for a couple of weeks so he won't be contacting me, if he comes here I will hide but please, don't act differently around him."

"That will take some doing Harry. Ugh I hate what he done to you. I mean look at the state you are in."

"I will be alright Draco. I need to be. I mean what would it say about me if Voldemort couldn't kill me but finding out Severus fucking other men while with me did do." Harry replied and tried to laugh but failed at doing so.

"Okay so Severus thinks you are with Petunia so won't be sending you messages?" Draco asked.

"Yeah and he knows Petunia is still wary around magic so he knows if he hears from me it is urgent."

Draco nodded, "take your bag and unpack in the spare room."

Harry had just picked up his bag and walked out of the room when the floo flared and Severus' head appeared in the flame. "Draco are you free?"

"No." the blond looked to the door in which Harry just left. "I will come to you give me five minutes." he said and closed the floo before his godfather could reply. "Harry Severus just floo called I am heading over there to stop him coming here."

Harry walked back into the room. "Don't do that Draco, let him come over I will either keep quiet in my room or go out."

"Go out? What if Severus sees you?"

"Disguise myself. I am not staying cooped up for two weeks because of what he has done to me." Harry answered as he waved his wand over himself.

Draco stood and watched as Harry went from messy black hair to neat dirty blond hair, green eyes went blue, and had a bit of extra weight, his scar gone as he took off his glasses and blinked a few times before making his glasses look different to his usual round ones. Harry had just finished when the floo flared again.

"Draco what is keeping yo-" Severus stopped when he spotted Harry in the doorway. "Oh. Now I know what is keeping you, it is about time you settled down. If I can settle down and be happy then so can you."

Harry couldn't help but scoff at that making Severus look at him. "What?"

Harry shook his head. "Forget it." he answered in a voice that wasn't his own. "I'm going Draco."

Severus watched his godson watch the other man leave with a look of worry on his face. "Who is your companion?"

"Luke." Draco lied. "Step back I will come through."

Draco woke up to the sound of vomiting. "Not again." he sighed as he got out of bed and made his way to the bathroom to see Harry on his knees vomiting into the toilet, wetting a cloth he leaned over his friend and placed it on his forehead. "That's it now Harry, you have been here ten days and in those ten days this is the fourth time you have thrown up, go somewhere tomorrow and get it sorted or I will take you myself."

"Sorry Draco I didn't have time to put a silencing charm up."

"It doesn't matter that you woke me Harry I am just worried, how you can be sick though surprises me if you have no food in you, don't stop eating because of Severus Harry, he isn't worth it, best way to get over him is to show him it doesn't bother you, that you are fine on your own. When you see him that is."

"I have already seen him Draco." Harry moaned.

"Walking past his shop in disguise Harry doesn't count, you need to tell him sooner or later, otherwise how will you resolve this?"

"I will go and see a healer tomorrow, just one step at a time. If there is something wrong and need potions then I will have to see him, but if there is nothing wrong then I will go and see him." Harry promised.

The next morning Harry was sat on the edge of a bed in the healer's office. "Can you repeat that please?"

"You are pregnant Harry." his healer said with a smile as he looked down at his notes. "There will be a list of potions you will have to take, providing of course that you are keeping the baby?"

Harry placed his hand over his stomach. "Of course I am!"

"Sorry I had to ask, we have to ask all expecting parents. Now with you being a male there will be more complications, you need so many potions, there is one you will have to take every week right up until you have your baby, it is a difficult potion to make but knowing who you are with I know it won't be difficult at all for him to make."

Harry just gave a small smile as his healer continued to tell him what he was to now expect.

"And most importantly Harry, no stress, any kind of stress is not good for pregnancy but you being male it will be worse for you."

Harry nodded. "How far gone am I?"

"You are seven weeks gone Harry. The potion you need to take weekly only takes a day to make so I strongly suggest you go to your partner now and ask him to make it for you, we normally have the potions here but it has been nearly ten years since our last male pregnancy."

"That's alright." Harry smiled. "I was going to see Severus after my appointment anyway. This will be all confidential right?"

"Of course Harry, if it makes you feel better I will happily take a wizard's oath."

Harry put his hand up. "No no that's fine. Thank you, when do I come back for a check up?"

"Every two weeks."

Harry nodded and after shaking his healers hand and thanking him once more, Harry left.

Harry felt numb as he walked down the street, the healer said no stress, none at all, he had to be careful, Severus needed to know, he knew Severus would try and talk him into staying but he knew if he did he would be forever wondering if Severus with another man, he couldn't have that playing on his mind as he knew that would get him worked up into a state.

Draco stood leaning against the counter as Severus served a customer, his arms folded but one hand on show as he checked his nails, a bored look on his face.

Severus thanked his customer and followed the woman out and shut the door, turning the notice that told customers he was closed for lunch. He studied his godson. "Don't you have things to do?"

"Not really."

"Well I do." Severus said just as a man walked into the shop and stopped short when he saw Draco there.

"He has just closed up for lunch, can't you read the sign?" Draco asked.

The man looked at Severus.

"The man is alright Draco, he is here to have lunch to discuss a potion I have been working on."

Draco only raised a single brow as his answer, the look on his face telling his godfather he didn't believe one word.

Severus sighed. "What has been up with you lately, you have been moody and distant with me, I would understand if I did something to you but I haven't."

You have hurt Harry by fucking other people. Draco thought but chose to remain silent and give the man who hadn't moved, a glare.

Severus opened his mouth to answer when the shop door opened again and a sullen looking Harry walked in who froze when he saw the man who had entered previously, who was now standing next to Severus.

"Harry!" Severus exclaimed. "I wasn't expecting you back for another three days." he said as he walked over to Harry to give him a hug only for Harry to move out of the way and walk over to Draco and seeing the blond watching him he looked sideways at the other man and nodded his head slightly, telling the blond who this man was.

Turning to face a confusing looking Severus Harry glared at the man who he knew had no doubt come here to get fucked by Severus. "Leave. Now."

"But I-"

"Now!" Harry snapped making the man jump before hurrying from the shop.

When it was just Harry, Draco and Severus Harry looked at the blond. "I will see you later Draco."

"Did you see a healer?"

"Yes. I need to talk to Severus now. I will see you later."

"Healer? What is Draco talking about?" Severus asked as Draco left. "Is Petunia sick?"

"There is nothing wrong with my aunt, last time I saw her she was well."

Severus narrowed his eyes. "And when did you last see her?"

"Three months ago. I have been staying in Draco's spare room. I needed to get away and think so I lied telling you I was with my aunt so you wouldn't be bothering me and sending me messages."

"Harry I don't understand. Why did you want to get away from me and not have me bothering you?"

Instead of answering Harry pulled out a list of potions his healer had given him to take. "I went to see a healer as I haven't been well these last few days. Can you make me these potions please I need to start taking them as soon as they are ready, the healer informed me there is only one on the list that will take a day to make the others are a few hours."

Severus nodded and took the list of Harry and started to scan the list, he only got halfway down it when he looked up sharply at the Gryffindor in front of him. "Harry?"

"Yes Severus. I am pregnant. Seven weeks pregnant."

Severus smiled and moved to hug Harry but stopped and frowned when Harry moved to one side, preventing the older man from hugging him.

"Can you make me these potions Severus? If not I will ask someone else."

"Of course I can, I will get started on them right away."

"Thank you. I am staying with Draco so if you can bring me some as soon as they are ready."

"Draco? Harry why not at home."

"Because I haven't got one now. Severus... I will be bringing this child up alone."

"No! You can not bring our child up alone. Why are you saying these things? You are leaving me?"

"I have no choice. I am bringing my child up alone Severus because I do not want to share my pregnancy and child with someone who fucks other men."

"Harry..."

"Don't deny it Severus. I have wondered for some time, you smelling different, acting different. I came into your shop ten days back under the invisibility cloak, saw you fucking a man over the table in the back room, slapping his arse, not to mention me while you are fucking him, why was that? Guilt because of what you were doing? Cheating on me? And you are still carrying on! It's that same bloke, again!"

"Harry I can explain."

"I am sure you can. Potions as soon as they are done please." he said before apparating away.

Severus stared at the spot where Harry just was before dropping to his knees and letting the tears fall, not caring that those walking past could see him. "What have I done?"

Harry had gone back to Draco's in tears and after telling Draco everything the blond had told him to go and lie down and get some sleep and he will deal with Severus if he stopped by. A few hours later Draco looked up when his floo flared and Severus stepped through, looking closely at his godfather, Draco saw the tear tracks on his cheeks, the sadness in those red rimmed eyes. "Severus." he said as he stood up.

"Where is Harry I must speak with him, see him."

"You can leave the potions here Severus I will make sure he gets them."

Severus moved his hand back when Draco went to take the potions. "You do not give them him, Harry is carrying my child. Not yours."

"Correct. But unlike you if I had someone like Harry I wouldn't be fucking other people."

"This is between Harry and myself. Now are you going to take me to him or am I to go looking through your flat?"

"You want to see him? Okay then."

Harry who was laying on his bed heard it all and turned onto his side, his back to the door, feigning sleep.

Draco opened the door and stood aside to let Severus take two steps into the room. "For the first week Harry was here he didn't sleep as all I heard all night was him crying over you, when he finally managed to sleep he was woken with morning sickness and has been like it for a few days, I say in the last twelve days he has gotten about twelve hours of sleep." Draco whispered, "but hey, don't let that stop you waking him now."

Severus walked over to Harry and placing the potions he had so far made he wrote a small note and running his fingers through Harry's hair and kissing his forehead he made his way back over to Draco and left the room.

When Draco was sure Severus was back in the living room he stepped into Harry's room and he looked down at the note and saw only four words. 'I'm sorry my world.' Draco looked from the note to Harry to see Green eyes staring back at him, nodding he left the room and closed the door behind him.

Harry got up and quietly opened his door a little to listen to what was being said.

Draco sat down at the table and handed a hot drink to Severus. "Why did you do it Severus? Harry has done nothing but love you and save you from a lot of hate after the war, fought to get you order of Merlin first class, kept you out of Azkaban, nursed you back to health, gave you all his love and trust, helped you when you decided to leave Hogwarts and set up your own shop."

"You think I don't know all that Draco? I love Harry with everything that I am, he is my world."

"Funny way of showing it, if you really do feel that way for Harry then why the fuck have you been having sex with others? You wanted me to leave your shop earlier to fuck that bloke who came in."

"You think I enjoy doing this!" Severus snapped taking Draco by surprise. "Look at me Draco and then look at you, do you know how many times I have heard people talk about how they don't understand why Harry is with me, saying we don't even look like a couple, that looking at you and Harry together and laughing is a perfect couple, you just fit."

"Severus they don't know what they are talking about, they don't know Harry and you."

"Draco I am talking about Harry's friends! Do you know how many times I have heard Ron tell his brother he would rather see Harry with you than me, hearing if Harry has to go with a Slytherin did it have to be the worst one ever!"

In his room Harry momentarily forgot the hurt Severus caused him and set his anger at Ron.

"The only time Ron smiles at me or is nice to me is when he knows Harry is looking, you think I give good glares you ought to see Ron's." Severus sighed. "I knew sooner or later, probably sooner, Harry would hear these words and start to realise he can do better. And start looking for better."

"Severus..."

"I know how I look Draco, after hearing all that I felt down, I went to a bar to drown my sorrows, I was scared if I lost Harry I would be alone for the rest of my life, how I look no one would look at me, I wanted to see if I could pull, not do anything, but see if I could actually get a bloke interested. I pulled him, but all I did was talk about me and Harry after when he suggested we go somewhere more private, one thing led to another Draco, next thing I knew I was fucking him over the back of a sofa in his flat."

"Did you regret it?" Draco asked.

"Of course I did stupid. I couldn't believe what I had just done. I hated myself for it."

"Then why continue to do it Severus!?"

Severus got angry and made fists with his hands before banging the table. "I don't know!" he snapped. "I am a weak man, a horrible man, one that doesn't deserve love, least of all Harry's. And now I have lost the only thing that has only ever mattered to me in all my miserable pathetic life."

"Draco..."

Both Slytherins looked up to see Harry standing there. "I am going with Severus to talk, please leave the wards down around your place. I will be apparating back."

Severus stood up and hurried over to Harry to hold him but Harry put his hands up. "No Severus. Alone, your living room." he said before apparating away.

"Severus." Draco said as he stood up. "Harry is giving you a chance to talk, he is vulnerable, he can not have any stress whatsoever, you have been given a chance to explain yourself. Do. Not. Fuck this up."

Severus nodded before apparating away.

What do you think?

Next chapter up tomorrow

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