Deviance

A/N: Yo, surprisingly I was going to write another 1shot which I don't normally do but then this got longer and longer and too many good ideas started popping into my head so it won't be. I wouldn't expect it to be a particularly long story though, as I don't want any big side projects. Not much to say right now since yall read the summary (Or I'd assume you did… Don't know why anyone would read a story without reading the summary but…)

Oh, and note that this takes place in the Shippuden time… Just so you picture all the characters correctly and all.

Enjoy

Naruto had just left the pleasure of his beloved.

I am of course speaking of Ichiraku ramen. What else?

"Ahh man that hit the spot even better than usual," He said to himself as he strolled through the streets of the Leaf village, absentmindedly rubbing his stomach feeling very satisfied with his daily nine bowls.

"Naruto?" A surprised, but friendly voice greeted, capturing his attention.

He stopped in his tracks and turned to face the beauty. "Knew it was you… No one else wears that much orange," Ino told him, sticking her tongue out playfully.

"Oh… Hey Ino, what's up?"

"If you don't mind, walk with me if you want to chat I'm kind of late as it is…"

Naruto shrugged. "Sure, I don't have anything to do anyway. I was just going to train for another hour or two," He claimed, resting his hands behind his head in a relaxed fashion, coming to her side and matching her pace. I guess it can't hurt to talk to Ino for a little… I don't see her very often after all.

"You sure do that a lot you know that… Don't you ever just go and do stuff for fun?" She inquired.

Naruto thought about it a moment and laughed it off sheepishly. "No, not very often I guess. Eat, train, eat again, train, eat, sleep." Ino sweatdropped.

"I don't know what else to do anyway…" He commented, scratching his chin. "I really don't have any hobbies or things I've been wanting to do—OH, wait… Outside of trying to get a date with Sakura that is!"

Ino laughed amusedly. "Well I'm actually meeting up with Sakura right now," She smirked deviously.

"Oh really? Cool."

"Yeah," Ino continued, smirk growing wider. "Maybe you can ask her out right now and steal her away from me."

Naruto didn't say anything for a second, in thought apparently and Ino was doing her best not to ruin her scheme by busting up in gut clenching laughter. "Hm.. If you're sure you don't mind I guess I could try. But you know how she is… She'll probably hit me, call me and idiot and then say no," He reminded somewhat depressingly.

"Oh come on! Where's that Naruto I know that never gives up! Are you telling me you don't love your Sakura anymore?" She teased.

"Wh-No of course I do!"

"Prove it!" She challenged.

He raised an eyebrow at his fellow blonde. "All right. How?"

"Ask her to spend a beautiful and passionate evening with you when we arrive at our destination!"

Naruto blushed. "Uh I will definitely not… She'll castrate me or something, ya know?"

Ino giggled. "Well I have to admit that is a bad choice of words… But it's not my job to write your lines for you."

"By the way, you never mentioned where this 'destination' was anyway…"

Ino brushed her banes out of her sight and huffed. "You're on a need to know basis, Naruto. Don't worry we're almost there!"

Naruto sighed, figuring it didn't really matter since he'd probably just leave her and Sakura (after she declines another date and punches him) to go train like he originally planned. So in the end, why should he care where they were going? Besides, if Ino said they were almost there, they were close. Turning the corner, they continued down the road in silence, both having a hard time thinking of something else to talk about since neither knew each other particularly well to begin with.

"Ah… And we're here!" Ino announced, as the two stopped walking in front of their destination. "Now… head on inside and ask Sakura out!" She ordered, barely containing her urge to cackle senselessly at the look on the Uzumaki's face.

"SHE'S IN THE BATHHOUSE!? INNOOO…!" The blonde girl in question finally let herself go in a laughing fit at his expense, supporting herself against the fence.

"You convinced me to come with you just to do this didn't you!" He shouted accusingly. "You're evil!"

Eventually recomposing herself Ino smiled at the irritated orange clad shinobi. "It was all in good fun; I thought you of all people could respect a prank. Besides, I didn't really do anything… And for the record I didn't decide to set you up for that until you brought her up in the first place."

Naruto sighed. "It's fine…" Then he chuckled slightly. "I guess I had that one coming… I should've pressed you harder when I asked where we were going."

Ino giggled in response. "Well, I'm sure she's wondering what's been taking me so long… See you around Nar—" She was cut off as Naruto suddenly clamped a hand on her mouth and silently mouthed 'shh,'

"Do you hear that?" He whispered.

Ino shook her head confusedly in response. "Hear what?"

There it is again! Naruto thought. Seeing Ino's expression alter, it was confirmed that she heard it that time too. Motioning her to follow him, Naruto quietly moved to the corner of the fence and slyly looked around it before taking cover again. Just as I thought…

"So?" Ino whispered, to his right, looking angry. No, furious at the prospect. "It's some pervert again, right?" Oh God… I never knew Ino could be so… terrifying. Naruto thought, seeing the 'I'm totally gonna make this guy impotent' look in the Yamanaka's usually intoxicating eyes. Wait, what?

Sakura, Sakura, Sakura! He inwardly berated the random thought of attraction to Ino's eyes. Wait a minute… SAKURA! It was at the point Naruto realized that Sakura was in the bathhouse and that perverted bastard was watching her. "Worse…" He finally replied. "Pervy Sage."

Yep, much much worse than some random peeping tom.

Ino gave him a look of disgust. "Greeeaat… So, what are we going to do? He's your sensei, and your responsibility."

"Well to be honest… I usually let him do what he wants…" Naruto admitted.

"WHAT?"

"Shh!" Naruto urged, covering her mouth again. He waited a few seconds before removing it and carefully peeking around the corner to see that Jiraiya was so lost in mumbling screw up things to himself that he didn't even hear her outburst.

Fully returning to cover again he sighed out of relief and was met with Ino's glare. "What do you expect?" He shrugged. "I can't devote my life to watching Pervy Sage and stopping him from doing this crap all the time, now can I?"

Ino's intense glare rested on him for a number of seconds before she huffed in annoyance and it dissipated. "I guess not… But you're doing something this time!" She demanded, glare instantly returning. "I'm going in there, Naruto… ME… So HE is not allowed to be doing this right now!"

"Don't worry," Naruto chuckled. "I wasn't going to look the other way this time. You said Sakura is in there already, right? I can't let him get away with that…"

Ino crossed her arms in an adorable pout. "Oh so it's okay if he see's me though?"

Naruto sweatdropped. "I didn't say that… It's just—"

Ino smirked at him deviously again. "That's fine, I'll remember that Naruto. If I ever catch Jiraiya doing that when I'm enjoying myself in there I'll beat the crap out of him and you'll be next!" She grinned. "I'll hunt you down, Naruto!"

"Oi, I thought we just agreed that I can't babysit him all the time!"

"Someone has to pay for it!"

"Why can't it just be him? Why me!?"

"Cause he's your responsibility…"

"God damn it, Ino. What if I'm on a mission!?"

The girl shrugged. "I'll let that slide I guess."

Naruto's eye began twitching rapidly. Thanks a lot Pervy sage, thannnks a lot! This is such a WONDERFUL side-benefit of your teachings. As if it wasn't bad enough that you do this in the first place! "All right… so what should we do to him?" He asked, calming down a bit.

"We confront him and beat him up… Duh. Like any pervert."

"He's a Sannin…" He reminded. "So it's not that easy. And trust me, he's protective of his… eye candy."

Ino's eye twitched at that and Naruto continued. "But we do have the element of surprise! Pervy Sage can never focus when he's staring at a girl's… anything, really."

"Okay…" The Yamanaka nodded in thought and snapped her fingers. "I know! We'll restrain him and alert everyone inside that someone's watching! Then all the girls will come out and crush him… including Sakura and her ferocious strength."

"Hm…" Naruto nodded agreeably. "One problem… If all the girls have nothing but a towel on and they beat Pervy Sage up… He'd enjoy it."

Ino gaped at him. "Is he really that fucked up?"

"Have you met him?" Naruto raised an eyebrow.

"But I want Sakura to be the one to punch him!" Ino insisted, knowing how much that would hurt. "Besides Naruto… Aren't you intrigued about the idea of Sakura annihilating your sensei in nothing but a towel?" She teased menacingly.

Naruto gulped and brought his hand to his face, only able to close one nostril in time to prevent his nose from spraying blood out. The other nostril expelled the liquid violently on Ino's T-shirt, likely creating a stain that would be a pain for her to get out.

"Naruto!"

All she got in response was a grin. "That's so not cool!"

"It was your fault that I did that; I don't want to hear it."

"Whatever," She scoffed, pushing the matter aside. "So what do we do?"

"Well, we just got to get creative I guess. Have any jutsus that would come in handy?" Naruto queried.

Ino's face flushed momentarily, causing Naruto to raise a confused eyebrow at her. "I… would prefer it if I didn't have to venture my mind into THAT man's body."

Naruto couldn't help but chuckle again. "All right…"

"Hey, I know!" Ino's face suddenly brightened. "Why don't you summon some toads and have them pin him down for us?"

Naruto face palmed. "Seriously? Who do you think provided me with the summoning contract in the first place…? That would never work on him! And Rasengan is out of the picture too for the same reason."

The two blondes stood there for awhile in silence, trying to come up with something good when Ino was getting impatient. "It's times like this I wish I knew a summoning jutsu that would teleport my lazy ass teammate over here so he can just immobilize my target for me."

"…What other times could you possibly wish that?"

"On missions that he's not with me, using my clan jutsu on people can at times be… a drag in his own words," She elaborated getting a laugh out of the male blonde.

"What's so funny?" A third voice asked, approaching them out of the blue. "Wait, Naruto? What are you doing here?"

"Hey Sakura!" He greeted cheerfully.

"Hi Forehead," The other blonde greeted.

"Ino-pig…" She greeted, suddenly angry and glaring at Naruto. "Was Naruto here before you…? 'passing by?'"

Damn, her voice is starting to sound more demonic than that bastard fox. He raised his hands up in defense. "Woah, woah calm down Sakura… I ran into Ino on her way here!"

Ino giggled at her friend's conclusions. "Yep it's true, but there is someone watching. A certain sensei of a certain someone's."

"WHAT!?" Sakura screeched, seeing Ino's thumb directed at Naruto meaning it could only be Jiraiya. After all, if it was Kakashi she wouldn't have needed to point a thumb at Naruto she could have just said 'your sensei.'

"WHERE?"

"He's right around this corner, we've been trying to—" Before Ino could finish her explanation Sakura had already raced around catch the Sannin and broke a number of bones with very audible, crushing behemoth-like punches, causing both Naruto and Ino to pale a bit.

"Ya know, for once I feel bad for Pervy Sage when this happened… And I also think that fantasy you made me picture has effectively been ruined," Naruto commented. Ino just nodded wordlessly.

Shortly after, Naruto and Ino were conversing with Sakura while she (begrudgingly) healed Jiraiya's injuries. "So Forehead-girl, why were you leaving so soon?"

"I was bored and got tired of waiting on you. It's no fun trying relax in there with no one you know to talk to… What took you?"

"Oh you know… My dad held me up at the flower shop longer than I expected. We were real busy… then I ran into Naruto and told him if he wanted to chat he had to walk with me since I was already late and we heard the old perv and spent a bunch of time trying to decide how to deal with him."

"Yeah… Didn't think that talking to Ino for a few minutes would lead to me running into you Sakura…" Then he glanced down at the remains of Jiraiya. "Or you Pervy Sage."

"Well if you'd train less and spend more time with me more interesting things would happen to you," Ino smirked.

To Jiraiya's regret, Sakura halted her healing jutsu and Naruto's face suddenly felt really warm as the two members of Team Seven just stared at Ino awkwardly. What does she mean by that? "Not how I intended for that to sound…" Ino backtracked. Sakura and Naruto both blinked and seemed to slip out of the trance and Sakura returned to healing the perv.

Eventually Jiraiya was fully healed and able to talk again. "I'm serious! You guys interrupted a very important mission!"

"YEAH RIGHT!" Naruto and Sakura spit back in unison.

"I really mean it! You can ask Tsunade herself!"

"Oh I will!" Sakura scoffed. "And she'll break everything I just broke when she finds out you were doing that instead!"

"You don't understand! This… This was all surveillance!" The Sannin claimed.

"That's the lamest excuse I've ever heard…" Ino facepalmed.

"No kidding," Sakura seconded.

"Why even bother Pervy Sage… We all know what you do."

"Damn it listen to me! There's a pervert on the loose and Tsunade's been receiving a lot of complaints."

"Gee, I wonder who that could be…"

Jiraiya pinched the bridge of his nose. "Tsunade's tasked me with catching him due to my… expertise," He explained.

Naruto openly laughed. "Granny must've drank so much sake her brain wasn't able to process that all the complaints were about you!" Ino and Sakura soon joined him in laughing at the Toad Sannin.

"I will prove it's not me!"

Naruto and his two kunoichi companions stared at him skeptically then shared looks at one another, nodding. "All right, how do you plan to do that?" Sakura spoke for the group.

"Easy!" Jiraiya assured. "All you have to do is join me on my mission, and once we find him you'll know for sure that this was a real assignment and that it really wasn't me!"

"Hm…" The three pondered.

"Fine," Ino agreed.

"Ino was just telling me I should do something other than train all the time… So sure, why not," Naruto joined.

"On one condition…" Sakura responded, narrowing her dagger-glare on the Sannin. "You won't be taking advantage of any more situations like this."

"Of course, of course…" Why did I invite them! Why!

"Ahem… But I'm getting a bit tired and feel like drowning myself in sake. So the four of us will meet up tomorrow and get to work on finding this guy," He told the teen shinobi. "Now…" He then added no longer speaking to them but himself. "Maybe Tsunade would like to drink with me… and do other things later!" He mused with sparkling eyes.

"…" The others stared at him, deadpanned.

"So… Pervy Sage?" Naruto broke him of his stupor, completely ignoring what was just implied about the current Hokage. "Where are we supposed to find you tomorrow?"

"Oh… Here's as good of a place as any I guess!"

"Like hell it is!" Sakura growled. "You'd just make sure you showed up early before we were around for your surveillance."

Damn it… Was worth a shot. "Outside the Hokage's tower then," He decided as he walked away from the others giving a wave of farewell.

The other three said nothing at first, until Naruto broke the silence by laughing to himself, gaining inquisitive looks from the girls. "We just volunteered to help Pervy Sage catch a pervert! It's ridiculous!" He explained, getting a light smile out of Sakura and Ino to chuckle a little at the thought as well.

"So, Forehead… Want to go back in there with me?"

"Mm.. Meh, not really in the mood to after that."

"I guess you got a point there," Ino sighed. "I'll go pay Shika or Choji a visit then. Haven't seen either of them in a over a week."

"All right, take care Ino-pig! Don't be late tomorrow…"

"Byeee.." She bid, walking away.

"See ya tomorrow Ino! Wait… Pervy Sage never told us what time to be there! Urgh!"

Ino stopped in her tracks and turned around as the three shared a deadpanned look. "Wow… We're really stupid."

"No, he's really stupid!" Sakura corrected. "Naruto, find him and let us know when could you please?"

"Me? Aw damn it. Sure Sakura…"

"Aw… She's got you wrapped around her finger doesn't she? Poor Naruto!"

"Shut up Ino-pig!"

"Uh… I'll drop by each of your places later and tell you what he says," A blushing Naruto assured them and walked away before a smirking Ino could say anything else.

After he was gone, Ino smiled at the still glaring Sakura. "I'm off to see my teammates then, see ya."

The blonde Uzumaki laid on the ground twitching slightly. "I didn't say anything about it being a date…Sakura."

"Oh… I'm sorry, my bad," She apologized making her hands glow green to tend to the bruise she inflicted on her teammate's head. "Let's go then, I'll even pay for both of us because of this little misunderstanding," She offered.

Geez, I tell her all I meant was dinner and not a date and she's instantly happy and offers to pay!? "No, that's fine."

"Come on Naruto, I don't mind! I've been making a lot of extra at the hospital lately."

"That's not what I was talking about," He retorted, receiving a puzzled look from the pinkette. "Anyway Jiraiya told me we have to meet up bright and early. Apparently this mystery pervert is smart enough to make a few of his rounds while a lot of women are in their nightly garments and stuff. I'll see you at six A.M. tomorrow."

Sakura blinked. "Six? Okay… But what about dinner?"

"Oh, sorry I can't now. Silly me, forgot I have to tell Ino still," He excused himself and walked off with his hands in his pockets.

Yeah right… She thought. "I guess he was more upset about me punching him than usual," She figured, feeling a little bad. "Oh well," She shrugged. "He'll forget about it by morning, besides it was just a misunderstanding," She decided, and went back inside her apartment.

"I'm sorry Naruto… But Ino's not home at the moment. Actually, come to think of it…" Inoichi scratched his head. "I have no clue where she is by now; she left to meet Sakura at the bathouse several hours ago. There's no way she's still there."

"Oh that's right… She did say something about visiting Shikamaru and Choji! Okay thanks anyways sir…" He said and began to walk away.

"Uh Naruto? If you find her, tell her to get home soon… We're going to have dinner in awhile here."

"Sure, no problem."

Inoichi nodded in thanks to the other blonde and retreated back into the privacy of his house. "Shikamaru's place is closer than Choji's…" Naruto mused. "I'll check there first."

As he began walking towards the Nara compound, his thoughts drifted back to his little encounter with Sakura. I didn't have to make an excuse and walk out on her like that… She even offered to pay even though she knows how much I eat… What's wrong with me?

Naruto frowned at those thoughts. Am I really defending her? She practically dented my skull just because she THOUGHT I asked her out. We're teammates! Teammates go have meals together all the time! Besides, aren't I close enough to her that she should be at least a LITTLE nicer about declining my invitations?

He sighed in frustration. Whatever, I should just forget about this. He decided, entering the Nara district and working his way to where Shikamaru and his parents lived via rooftop. Upon reaching the house, he heard familiar voices coming from the balcony and walked over to it, finding Choji, Ino and Shikamaru together catching up a bit on what they'd been doing the passed week. "Hey guys," The Uzumaki greeted foxily, leaping onto the small deck landing between Ino and Choji scaring the former who squealed in surprise. Naruto blinked, had he really came so subtly and silent? He hadn't meant to.

"NARUTO! You scared the crap out of me!"

"Oops, my bad Ino…" He scratched the back of his head sheepishly.

"Troublesome…"

"Sup Shikamaru, Choji. It's been awhile since I've seen you guys."

"Hey Naruto, sorry about that but I've been really busy learning an advanced Akimichi clan jutsu!" Choji explained with a hint of pride. "When I manage to make a breakthrough on it I'll be on a whole new level than before!"

"Nice! I've been training like crazy lately too. Well, I always do that though, right?" He laughed.

"Eat, train, eat again, train, eat, sleep," Ino sarcastically recited, making Naruto laugh even harder while the other two members of Team Ten just stared confusedly, the joke lost on them.

"So, is this just a social call or what Naruto? If you actually need help from me or my dad or something don't hesitate to ask."

Ino gawked at him in surprise. "Did you just volunteer to work?"

"I'm not that lazy…" He sneered. "But it's just that it would be far more troublesome if Naruto was afraid to ask us for a hand and does something real stupid on his own and gets hurt. He's the kind of guy who would definitely do that," The Nara pointed out.

Naruto chuckled at his analysis. "Yeah you do have a point there, but don't worry I'm actually here for Ino not you."

He raised an eyebrow. "You came to my house to see Ino? What? Do you think we're more than friends or something?" Choji laughed in their expense.

Ino blushed. "Shut up Shika! He came looking here cause he knew I said I was going to visit you guys today."

"Mhm… Six A.M tomorrow Ino. Oh and I actually did drop by your place and checked there first, your dad says dinner will be ready soon. See you later guys, I've gotta hit my favorite ramen stand!"

"See ya Naruto!" Choji bid farewell.

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow but figured he'd just ask Ino. "Lates."

"Until tomorrow then," Ino smiled and the Uzumaki took off.

"Naruto, Sakura and I have a mission tomorrow, sort of," She then explained.

"Mission?"

"Sort of?" The guys inquired.

"Yeah," She giggled. "It's pretty funny actually… We're helping Jiraiya track down a pervert within the village!"

Choji roared with laughter and Shikamaru even chuckled and let out an amused troublesome.

A/N: Like? I think this will be a fun thing to write on the side… especially since I know exactly who the pervert is going to be which will not be directly revealed until we're near the end of the story and in my humble opinion I have some pretty funny ideas in my head for this.