A/N: Okay. Hello. I guess I'm coming back to this after… 2 years, 1 month and ten days… I had to google that because I'm terrible at maths. Remember when I said I would continue to update this with short stories? Well, here it is, finally. And maybe a little life update too. I graduated university last year. I've been struggling to find a job and I'm trying to publish my very first original novel. I've learnt a lot about writing in the years I spent focusing on other projects, mainly how to grammar properly and how to show and not tell… maybe one day I will go back and edit this whole fanfic because I re-read the last chapter and it gave me hives. Anyway I wanted to come back to this because I haven't written a fanfic in years but I still crave the instant gratification that fanfiction brings and also, because of all the struggles in my life right now, I still have the Lunar Chronicles and Lunar Park, which is something that will always comfort me during tough times. Happy reading and happy Cresswell chapter eheheh.

Thorne handed in his resignation two days ago. He'd been working at Lunar Park for half of his adult life and the only reason why he hadn't resigned earlier was because he had no idea what he was going to do with his life other than work, work, work. He knew he couldn't have much of a career with his shoddy resume, but he also started to feel as though he was going to be aged out of his job, anyway. They'd started dressing him up as fur characters, for Christ's sake! He still couldn't understand why they would want to deprive people seeing his beautiful face, but he supposed it couldn't be helped. There were younger, fresher people on the team now. People who could act better than him and sing better than him.

Kai was a little upset when he told him he was leaving. The rest of them had all stayed on, their bond never broken by what happened a few years ago, everything now feeling like a distant memory, but he had to. Thorne felt like he was going to go crazy if he stayed there a little longer. And to make it worse, Cress was so busy with her school and her part time job that she barely came back to visit him – them.

It wasn't like they stopped talking, though. They had a group chat, one that was still active, and Cress was active enough on it even though he started to think she had it muted. Mainly they just dropped memes and tried to organise days where they could hang together, but they were events that Cress barely attended.

When he brought up his concerns to her about it, tapping on her icon and messaging her without everyone having to watch, she dropped the biggest bombshell that left Thorne feeling down for weeks.

Cress:

I'm leaving

Thorne:

Leaving? Wdym?

Cress:

The country. It's just an exchange trip and it'll be for half the year but...

Thorne:

But…?

Where are you leaving to?

And when?

Cress:

South Korea. They have one of the best cybernetics industries in the world and I won a scholarship to study there. So, I felt like it would be pretty stupid not to go…

And I'm leaving in a week.

Thorne:

And… were you going to tell us about this before you left?

Cress:

I wanted to but

I just didn't know how to say it

Thorne:

"Hey guys I won a scholarship and I'm going to go to South Korea to study cybernetics" would have been fine, I think.

Cress:

Please don't be mad to me about this.

I just…

Idk.

I'm telling you now. Isn't that enough?

Thorne knew he was being a dick. But he couldn't help but still feel upset about it. Like… what were they… what was he to Cress to not even bother to tell them. What was she going to do, drop a pic on Instagram and then let them know when they asked her what she was doing in South Korea? He opened a tab and calculated the distance from here to South Korea. 8,577 kilometres. 13 hours away from him.

Thorne:

It's not like I would have told you to stay [deleted]

It's not like we would have stopped you from leaving.

It's a great opportunity.

Cress:

I know. But I guess I didn't want to tell anybody until it was confirmed, and I actually had my tickets. I just… I don't know.

Thorne:

Alright. Don't even worry about it. I get it and it's fine and I'm happy for you, truly!

But do you even know how to speak Korean?

Cress:

Well, no. Not really. I've been doing Duolingo though.

Thorne:

Lmfao. Because that's going to make you fluent.

Cress:

I only know how to say hello.

Thorne:

I know. I was joking. Well, are you going there alone?

Cress:

No. There are people from my uni and other unis going. So, I'll be fine.

Thorne:

Alright, well. I hope you have fun.

And then he locked his phone and turned on his PlayStation to distract himself.

He had admitted to himself that he missed Cress. He missed Cress even when she lived fifteen minutes away from him. Now she was thirteen hours by plane away from him and she'd been gone for a month and now that feeling had become something more akin to having a limb ripped from his body and he just wanted it back even though it was unattainable and he could barely function without it and he just… he just wanted Cress back.

And now he quit his job after saving enough money to last long enough to figure out what kind of life he wanted to live but he was still stuck and he just didn't know what to do and everyone was dating except for him even though he wanted to date Cress but he still just couldn't figure out how to say it because it wasn't like he was successful in any past relationships and he didn't want to ruin his friendship with Cress and he just wanted her to tell him everything was going to be okay but he had never even once allowed himself to be vulnerable like that to another human being.

Okay. So maybe the PlayStation wasn't helping to distract him.

He had worries and they were circling and circling around his head and he would usually be able to give himself his own advice and this time it was just to learn a new skill or go to uni so he could find what he wanted to do but he didn't have enough money saved up to be in student debt and there was no way in hell he was going to ask his parents to fund his education.

Maybe if he moved out. It was expensive living here with Kinney and his mates and maybe if he found somewhere cheaper, it would be more feasible.

So maybe that was the first step. To move out.

After all, nothing changes unless you make a change.

And he did. Kinney tried to make him stay but he managed to find a new roommate before he left, and Thorne moved into a small flat in the outer suburbs that was a lot less expensive than Kinney's place but a lot further from his friends.

And rather than finding a job or going to uni, he tried so many different things trying to find something that felt right. Walking dogs, helping old people with their groceries and driving them around and babysitting kids. He tried volunteering too, support services for companies, archiving documents for the local museum and even fundraising for charities, and they were nice things to put in his resume but it was nothing to feel satisfied by. The thing was, Thorne just didn't know what it would take for him to actually feel satisfied.

He had changed, Cress had changed him, everything that happened two years ago had changed him especially. He'd grown up and he had matured, but he just didn't know where to go now. He felt like he had peaked two years ago, solving that mystery and putting a stop to Sybil and saving Cress and he felt like nothing could even top that.

It was so exciting back then and now he just felt… bored.

And no one else felt like that either. They were all just happy to live a normal life, and he felt bad that he even thought like that knowing what Cress, Winter and Cinder had to go through with Sybil, Levana and Aimery. He didn't even get the brunt of the worst stuff and he just wanted to shut that voice inside his head up telling him to go back to how he was and just… start something.

To just go.

But he couldn't, anything that he would do, getting back into his old habits would hurt his friends and that wasn't even him anymore.

His friends, they had a bond, even though it felt like they were drifting further and further away every day and now with Cress gone and Thorne who couldn't even be bothered to get in his car and drive an hour to the café Scarlet or Kai or Winter or whoever had suggested for their next meet up.

They were just living their lives and they all looked so happy with what they were doing, and he just wanted what they had.

God, he just wanted a girlfriend, in all honesty.

Cress was having a blast in Korea. She had slowly become friends with a couple of other people in the dorms, something that would have inevitably happened in such close proximity in a country where no one knew how to speak the language. They tended to go anywhere in herds. In their free time, they went down to the café's. In Seoul, it was pretty small and cramped and there were so many people it made it hard for Cress to even go anywhere but with her friends, she managed.

The shops were nice too, they were quaint, and Cress couldn't help but buy a few extra clothes more than she needed. They were just her style. She managed to pick up a bit more Korean than just 'hello', too.

But the thing that she loved the most was what she was here for. On the two weeks that they came here, the exchange program had organised a tour to the most prolific machine manufacturers, at certain universities and certain warehouses where they even got to sit in and control the arms and legs of the robot. They also got to sit in classes and listen to real-time translations about what was being spoken in the lectures and workshops. Just being here and having this kind of experience was so valuable and eye-opening to what kind of future she could help in creating.

She even managed to raise her hand and ask questions about certain topics she had been reading about, like robotic enhancements for the human body, and the professors reacted just as excitedly to her questions and showed her some blueprints they were working on.

Professor Moon, who was fluent in English, had also given Cress her email so that if she had any ideas or had any questions, they'd be able to contact her even when she was home. She made friends with a few people in that class too and they had exchanged contact numbers and Cress imagined a future where she could collaborate with these people to create something amazing and ground breaking.

And then when she went back to the dorms and started talking with the rest of the students and doing her work assigned to her (because of course, this wasn't a holiday) she couldn't help but think how far she had come. From being controlled by Sybil nearly her whole life, to being in Korea, now twenty-one years old and living a life she had only dreamed of. She was in control, and despite everything that happened to her, she'd come out stronger than ever on the other side.

Then the time came, six months later, to go home.

She was going to miss Korea. She loved it here. She loved the people and the things she got to achieve here, how she got to focus on nothing but computers and cybernetics

She even managed to come first place in the robotics competition. Well, her team, anyway. They had a few struggles, but they ended up completing their robotic eye, complete with screen in the retina which allowed the user to access the internet. Although the eye exploded a few minutes after they turned it on.

Professor Moon said it was a start of something that could help lots of people in the future, and she kept a copy of all their hard work.

And after all of that, Cress was back home.

Everyone met her at the airport. Her father, Scarlet and Wolf, Cinder and Kai, Winter and Jacin. There was just one person missing, and normally that would have hurt her like a bullet in her chest but she was too euphoric, the plane ride was full of her and her classmates talking excitedly about what they had experienced and how they all wanted to go back again and the lack of Thorne being here couldn't do anything to dull that euphoria.

It was pretty late at night anyway; she couldn't blame him if he wanted to sleep in anyway.

She ended up hugging everyone and she said goodbye to her school friends and sat with the rest of them at a table at the Mcdonald's in the airport after she complained about being hungry. They ended up buying what seemed like the entire menu.

She told them all she had done in Korea and how much fun it was and they all told them what was going on in their lives and a few things had changed, such as Scarlet and Wolf moving in together and – Scarlet had even proposed to him. Cress wondered how she missed that and Scarlet giggled and said that they wanted to tell her in person.

Then Cress brought up Thorne and the whole mood turned sour.

There was a knock on his door. Probably solicitors. He ignored it and turned down the TV to pretend like he wasn't home.

But the knocking kept on persisting and he ended up getting up and opening the door a little too forcefully.

And there, Cress stood, arm raised like she was ready to knock again and looking… different.

Her cheeks were rosy from the cold and she was wearing clothes that he had never seen her in before and she was wearing her hair up. She had kept it short for all this time, but he supposed she let it grow out while she was gone.

She was all bundled up in a long jacket and a thick scarf and even holding a keep-cup, probably full of coffee even though he had never known her to drink coffee before.

"Hello," she said.

"Um, hi," said Thorne. "Guess it's been six months, then."

He stared at her. He didn't know what he found so different. It was probably the hair, but that shouldn't have been something that surprising. He had stalked her Instagram every so often (everyday) and even checked her activity on the following tab on Instagram to see what photos she was liking and what she was commenting on and who she was following. It was the only way to be updated on her life without actually having to talk to her and feeling awkward about himself liking her like that and not being able to do anything about it because she was in Korea.

Well, she wasn't in Korea anymore. She was here, standing right in front of him.

Maybe it was because he was seeing her in real life now, and not through pixels on a screen and six months was a long time to not see anyone and he finally realised what was different about her.

She was wearing makeup. No foundation, no mascara even, but just a pearly sheen on her eyelids and a pretty pink lip gloss which made her lips look gorgeous and God. She didn't even need to wear makeup and it was barely anything, but she just looked so cute and her nose was so red, and he just wanted to hold her and give her a cup of hot chocolate instead of the coffee she was maybe holding.

"You're staring," said Cress.

Thorne looked for any signs of self-consciousness, but there wasn't any. Before she would have avoided eye-contact, but she was just staring at him like she had never seen him before.

"Oh," he said. He cleared his throat. Why was he the one nervous? "Well, um. Why are you here?"

"I wanted to see you. I just came back yesterday."

"Yesterday?" He was surprised that she was so quick to come. It wasn't like they had spoken much while she was away. Well, it wasn't like he had spoken to anyone, really. Maybe he saw Jacin or Kai and sometimes Iko every once in a while, but he didn't really go to see them that much. He especially hated it when they were all together because he ended up feeling like a ninth wheel.

But Thorne was just… it wasn't like he tried to date other people. Honestly, he did, but he felt like he was cheating, and he and Cress weren't even going out, so he didn't even know why he felt like that. Honestly, he wouldn't have even been surprised if Cress met someone in Korea. After all, she deserved someone who was just as smart and capable as her and not him and he was always suspicious of the people she posted on her Instagram stories and to figure out whether they were just friends or not and maybe if they weren't just friends, then Thorne could finally get over her. But he could never find anything out and so his hope remained because whenever he thought about his future, it was always him and Cress together. That was the only thing that wasn't a blank space, that was the only thing he wanted.

And now the only thing he wanted was right in front of him and he realised just how much he loved her now she was back and right in front of him and he just wanted… he just wanted her to stay.

"Can I come in?" she asked. Now he realised he was staring even more because her face had turned even redder and she was blushing.

"Yeah. Um, sorry," he said, stepping inside. "Sorry, I haven't really cleaned much."

He didn't even know why he said that. He had vacuumed yesterday and maybe there were a few plates in the sink and a takeout box on the bench top, but it wasn't that messy. He even turned on an aroma diffuser just a few minutes ago. Maybe it just felt like the right thing to say but Thorne didn't really know much about speaking anymore. He hadn't spoken to anyone in a while. Maybe the grocery store lady.

"It's fine. I just wanted to see you. See how you were getting on."

Getting on. That was a thing people said when something sad happened to you. Was Thorne sad? Did he look sad? He smiled, but even that felt forced.

"I'm great!" he said.

Cress frowned. Then she walked past him and started walking around. "Nice place. I asked Jacin for the directions. I took the public transport here."

"Oh but… it's six p.m. Are you going to go home in the dark?"

"Not if you don't want me to." Cress smirked then ducked her head so he couldn't see it.

"Wha-" asked Thorne. Was she… was Cress being forward? Was this a dream? Well, it wouldn't have been the first time. "I mean… I guess I could sleep on the couch."

Okay, this wasn't a dream. Thorne would have never said that if this was a dream.

"Cool," said Cress and he could have sworn she rolled her eyes. Seriously. What was with her?

She sat down on the couch, crossing one leg over the other and took a sip from her keep-cup.

"What are you drinking?" he asked, because he couldn't believe it was coffee, he had seen her face when she tried it once, contorting into one of disgust, sticking her tongue out. It was a fond memory.

"That's what you're going to ask me?" she grumbled. "It's a caramel latte. I like them."

"Oh good," said Thorne. "Um. How was Korea?"

"It was good," she said. "I did a lot of things and it was fun."

Why did this feel like a test. He could only imagine a teacher watching him over his shoulder while he pondered what was the right answer and hope he didn't get it wrong. He wished he could read Cress' mind and know what he wanted her to say.

"I saw. On Instagram. You won that competition with the eyeball."

Cress smiled. "I did,"

"And you made a lot of friends,"

"That's right."

"And… you learned a lot of cool new things so you can create a robot and become the richest woman alive and um. Yeah."

God, why did he say that?

But Cress just laughed. "Maybe one day. So, what about you?"

"What about me?" Now he felt more nervous than ever.

"Well, everyone came to see me at the airport yesterday. And I don't know. I brought you up and everyone seemed kind of mad…"

"Mad?" Thorne asked. No way were they mad. "Well, it's not like I still work at Lunar Park anymore. I can't see them as often as I could before."

Cress shook her head. "You don't need to get so defensive, Carswell. And it's not really that. They told me you've been kind of… down."

"Well…" once, when Kai came over, he ended up ranting the whole time and nearly driving Kai out of his apartment after he suggested going to therapy. "You don't have to be depressed to go to therapy, Thorne. Sometimes people just need someone to go to." And he tried, and he was vulnerable, but he didn't want to be talking to a stranger about all his problems even though he still kept appointments and schedules. It was better than nothing, but the person he wanted to talk to was short and had blonde hair and crystal blue eyes and was standing right in front of him and now he could barely bring himself to say another word because – it was unfair of him to load all his problems onto her. She was, sweet, brilliant, beautiful and a certified genius, who had just come back from a possibly life changing experience in Korea and he wouldn't even amount to anything next to Cress and he most certainly wasn't worthy of her.

The dams suddenly broke open and staring at Cress he felt so terrible about himself and he couldn't even fathom why. He hated that he felt so weak even though it wasn't like crying was weak but he still felt weak and he had nothing going for him and he wasn't a very good friend and his throat was closing up and there were tears coming down his cheeks and … Cress was hugging him, Cress who never hugged had come up to him and was pulling him to the couch and was stroking his hair and shushing him like he was a baby and he would have felt embarrassed but it was the comfort he wanted and it was the comfort he craved and it was the person who he wanted to touch and God. He was crying. Maybe he was sadder than he thought he was.

He kept crying and Cress kept comforting him and Thorne hoped he wasn't scaring her because he'd never been in a state like this in front of anyone before. He wanted to stop crying before Cress thought he was stupid and left him and never spoke to him again because that would be terrible and that was something he absolutely did not want to happen. Get a grip on yourself. He thought. He would have slapped himself into normality if he could, but he felt like he couldn't stop crying.

Eventually he did though, and he pulled away from Cress and looked at the stain he made on her coat. "Sorry," he said weakly. There was still a quiver in his voice.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," she said quietly. She cupped his face in her hands and forced him to look at her and her eyebrows were drawn together in concern but thank God she didn't look scared. She just looked worried and he hated that he was the one to make her look like that, but he supposed it couldn't have been helped when he literally just broke down right in front of her.

"It's alright," she said. He fingertips stroked at his eyes, wiping the tears away. "It'll be fine, Carswell, do you hear me? You don't need to feel bad about anything."

Thorne swallowed and nodded. He felt like a child. He felt like he had been carrying a burden on his back and now it was only being released. Because Cress was here, and she was in his house and she was taking care of him and it was all he ever wanted.

He always knew he wanted - no craved - human touch. That was why, before Cress, he'd been such a flirt. It was why he liked working at Lunar Park, always so crowded and full of other people. Then Cress walked in and turned his life all topsy turvy and he started to think about what he wanted to do in his life and how he was nothing compared to her and – he had to stop. He couldn't cry again. He wouldn't forgive himself.

Cress seemed to notice. Maybe it was the hitch in his breath. "You can tell me what's wrong, Carswell. You know that right? You can tell all of us. You don't need to hold it all in within yourself."

He felt so inadequate. "I know," he said. "I know. But it's just… hard."

"Jeez, sometimes I feel like you're worse than me," she laughed a little and Thorne loved that sound. He loved that she was still able to turn this moment into something humorous. It made him feel better. "At least I know what emotions are."

Thorne pulled away, "I know what emotions are!" he said incredulously.

"Well you express them terribly. Seriously, you've been feeling like this for six months. Maybe even more?"

"Well, I started going to a therapist," he said, pouting.

"Well, good," she said, and she actually looked impressed.

"But the feelings don't go away though."

"You should have called me or something," she said.

"I know. But it's-"

"Hard, I know. Trust me, I get it too. But I've been learning. I can teach you if you want."

"Teach me what?"

"Why it's good to express what you're feeling. For example. I am very happy because I learnt a lot in Korea and I'm also very happy because I'm home with all my friends and I am also very happy because I'm here with the person I love but I'm very sad because he is crying and emotionally constipated."

"I'm not emotionally constipated!" he said. Even though he was. He so totally was emotionally constipated.

"Thorne, you are such a man," Cress rolled her eyes. "How do you even stop crying so quickly."

"I was crying for like fifteen minutes, first of all. I think that's long enough. And, of course, I'm such a man! What do you even mean by that?"

"I mean you only focus on the last thing said and don't care about anything else that just came out of my mouth!"

"Wait, are you mad now? Are you mad at me because I just cried my eyeballs out and maybe my brain isn't working properly?"

Cress sighed. "I'm not mad."

She slumped back against the couch and wouldn't look at Thorne.

"What?" he complained. "Come on, Cress. I'm not sad anymore."

"Okay, Thorne," she said.

"Wait," he said. Only a moment ago he'd been crying and now a great big massive smile spread over his face. "You just said you loved me."

Cress's lips twitched at the corners, but she still managed to keep them held in a straight line. "When did I say that?"

"I heard it! I literally heard it. Cress," he said, whining. Cress glanced at him then looked away quickly. "Cress," he sing-songed. "Cress, you said you love me."

"Maybe I take it back now," she said turning away from the window.

It was such a whiplash, how happy he felt now. He got up off the couch and walked in front of Cress so she couldn't look away from him. "Cress loves me! Cress loves me!"

A laugh burst out of her mouth even though she tried hard to contain it.

"I love Cress! I love Cress!"

"Oh my god," she said. She got up and put a hand over his mouth, and he grinned against her hand. He loved how neither of them were surprised. He loved how all this time he'd been scared to even tell her and now they had told each other and he thought about how stupid he was because HE WAS STUPID IT WAS ALWAYS HIM AND CRESS FOREVER AND EVER and he was like a child but who cared because Cress loved him and he loved Cress.

"You're gonna annoy your neighbours," she said.

"Who cares about them," said Thorne. "Because guess what. I love you Cress!" he shouted.

Cress laughed. She looked so cute. "Oh my god, shut up."

"Don't tell me to shut up I might start crying again." he said.

"Aw, baby," she said.

"Hm,"

"What?"

"I'm your baby,"

She blushed. "You are literally like fifteen hundred feet taller than me."

"Who cares,"

"Shut up, Thorne,"

"Make me," he said.

"Maybe I will,"

"Oh, are we being forward again?"

"Don't think anything of it. I just feel bad for you because you were crying."

And then she stood on her tippy-toes and pulled Thorne down and Thorne could have said every curse-word in the world and still could not have been so happy than he was in this moment because Cress was kissing him for the first time ever.

She pulled away.

"Kissing is weird."

"Oh yeah. You've never done it before."

She turned even redder.

"You get used to it," he said.

"Well, I would like to,"

Thorne leaned down and captured her lips in his.

"Better?" he asked after a bit.

"A little," she said.

"You know, this isn't really how I imagined this to go down. I was supposed to like… not be crying."

"We all like to live in our own fantasy worlds I guess."

"You're my fantasy world."

"Don't be cheesy, Thorne," she said, though he could tell she liked it.

They kissed again and then Cress dragged him onto the couch and they kept kissing and it was better than anything Thorne had ever done in his life before and maybe, he thought, this was his peak.

Well, if that was the case, he hoped it would be his peak for the rest of his life.

A/N: Well that was angstier than I though. Anyway review if u love and stan trophy husband/house husband Carswell Thorne