Roman Torchwick considered himself a professional.

It was more than vanity, of course; Roman was quite the expert criminal. Excellent communication skills, extensive practical knowledge, and the aesthetics required to maintain the image of a crime lord were all part of his skill set. Sure, there was always value in being able to manage minions, break into anything that's locked, or form a network of contacts in a single week, but Roman prided himself on mastering the fundamentals of his line of work. And yet, despite his experience, he was fundamentally unable to understand his latest underling.

"You know something, Perry?"

"Hmm?"

Roman took a long drag of his cigar, savouring the taste as he leaned back into his chair, tilting his head to one side as he calmly regarded his White Fang assistant. This man was one of the few things that the crime lord was not able to fully understand. The faunus was indistinguishable from all the other mongrels, except for the fact that he always wore a pair of glasses over his signature mask. This little eccentricity was what piqued Roman's curiosity.

"You're not like the rest of those animals. You've got something... unique to you. Like an endangered species."

"... Hmm." The faunus responded by bringing his hand up to Roman, raising a single finger.

And this was why Roman was interested in the Faunus. Despite the circumstances, Perry stayed Perry. The first underling to actually seem interesting in some manner. Sure, there was that one guy from Junior's gang who ended up being a music radio host somehow... but he was no Perry. Really, it was a mystery, and given how dull managing the White Fang was, Roman would take entertainment where he could get it.

"Now, the million lien question is, what makes you you? Is it these glasses?"

At those words, Roman casually brought his hand over, plucking them off of his underling as he brought them close. "You were wearing them during that little pet show rally, too. Wonder if there's something to them..." The crime lord squinted his eyes, examining it under the light, then the darkness, trying to find something. However, his scrutiny revealed them to be nothing more than a pair of round-frame glasses, so he casually tossed them over his shoulder. With a non-committal shrug, the crime boss turned back to his lackey.

"Guess no-... Oh, you son of a bitch."

"Hmm." His lackey held the exact same expression as always, standing at attention. And plastered on his mask was another pair of glasses, identical to the one Roman had swiped a few moments before.

And, of course, he was still flipping off Roman.

Perry's superior was an eccentric one; there wasn't a day where Roman wouldn't try something to alleviate his boredom, whether it was yelling at the recruits, antagonizing the leiutenants, or simply offloading his work on someone else. While the faunus didn't know why the crime boss was in charge of this cell, he also didn't care, as both of them had a job to do, and both of them ultimately complete their duties. With that same mindset that, Perry entered Roman's office, a pile of papers in his hands.

"...Hmm?"

True to Roman being Roman, today was a day like any other, and the faunus only gave a single inquisitive glance as he approached his superior's desk. Seated on Torchwick's chair was not the criminal, but a little girl of unknown origin. She had a carefree expression, mutely humming to herself to some silent rhythm, before she noticed the faunus's approach.

"...?"
"Hmm."

And that was that. Perry took a look around the room, half wondering if Roman had wandered off somewhere, only to find the suited swindler lazily laying down on the couch. The White Fang operative took note of that, then turned to face the girl once more, her curious expression in contrast to Perry's masked face. Without ceremony, the faunus set today's paperwork down on the desk.

Roman, on the other hand, was enjoying another expensive cigar at the expense of his colleagues. His bowler hat covered much of his face, exposing only a single eye as he looked up from his couch. "Hey Perry. Don't mind me, just taking my union mandated break. Neo's covering for me. Oh, but you're still on the clock. You mongrels haven't finished fighting for your civil rights yet, right?"

"...Hmm."

"Yeah, just give her the report or something." Not that Roman expected him to be able to. The midget was annoying to deal with on a good day, and he doubted some random White Fang mutt was capable of managing her. Even if it was Perry. "Or drop by later, when I can be bothered getting up."

That's when he expected to hear footsteps leaving the room. Instead, Roman heard the shuffling of papers, and curiosity took the better of him. Slowly rising from his couch, he fixed his hat, his gaze shifting to the sight of Perry and Neo staring at one another.

"..."
"Hmm."

"Hmm?"

"Hmm."

And just like that, Perry turned around, finally leaving the room. At least, he was going to, until he was stopped by Neo's... silence. Or something.

"...Hmm?"

"Hmm."

Now he left. Roman had a look of confusion on his face, trying to piece together what just happened. Had Perry really...? Oh, wait, there's Neo grinning like Neo again. She probably was just messing with him. The crime boss chuckled, rising to his feet as he made his way to the desk. "Alright shorty, enough fooling around. Guess I'd better-"

"Hmm." Torchwick was interrupted by the return of a familiar faunus. This same faunus was holding a wafer bowl filled with Neo's favourite ice cream. How did the little mongrel know? Did he really...

Roman felt his eye twitch as he watched the little ice cream girl take her ice cream, a content expression on her face as she skipped off. Slowly, the criminal turned his attention from the door to his underling.

"... How did you...?"

"Hmm."

Today was not a normal day. If he didn't know any better, Perry would've thought that the bloodied body in Torchwick's office was-

"P-Perry...? Is that y-you?" It was Roman. His voice was barely audible, a quiet whisper against the floor. The crime lord had trouble breathing, and his body twitched as he struggled to raise his head. The man's face was pale, and Perry noticed a large gash that ran across Torchwick's cheek, blood oozing from the wound. "H-ha... Nice t-to see you show up on ti-kkaakt-" The rest of his words were lost as he broke into a dry heave, wasting what precious air he had. Blood splattered violently against the floor, adding more crimson to the cold stone.

As Roman struggled to get up again, Perry examined the crime boss's condition. The cut on his face was far from the worst; Torchwick's suit had holes burnt into it, exposing his side, blackened charcoal where skin was supposed to be. One arm seemed completely useless, shaking uncontrollably as Roman tried to rest his body against it. His other hand gripped Melodic Cudgel, struggling as he tried to use it as a cane. "C-c'mon pal. Wanna h-Kkakt- help me up at least?" The criminal's eyes were unfocused as he tried to appeal to Perry, desperation showing on his face.

"...Hmm."

And Perry was Perry. Roman collapsed again, his Melodic Cudgel rolling across the room, out of reach. "Ha ha hkkt..." A sarcastic laugh was all he could spare, not wanting to waste too much of his precious oxygen, even as his lungs seemed to empty. The man's body twitched as he struggled to roll himself onto his back, flopping against the blood-stained floor, eyes gazing up to the ceiling. "Should've ex-expected it..." Roman's voice was unsteady, carefully choosing his words, as he looked past his faunus associate. "Even when we're -Kaaahkk-riminals... Humans and animals can't get along, huh?"

The faunus was silent, pushing his glasses up to his mask, standing over Roman. As usual, his face remained expressionless, and Roman couldn't even tell if Perry was paying attention to him anymore.

"H-hey..." The strength behind Roman's voice was slowly fading now. "C'mon Perry... At least..." What little colour his face had slowly drained away, growing paler with each passing second. His tone changed from sarcastic to almost apologetic, his eyes pleading to the ceiling. "... At least say something."

There was a pregnant pause, and for once, Roman could see the faunus hesitate. His mouth opened, then closed. It opened again, seemingly about say something, before closing once more.

And then Perry kicked Roman's face.

The illusion shattered like glass, the bloodied floor breaking away to reveal pristine tiles. Roman immediately hopped to his feet, look as every bit an asshole as he did yesterday, quickly brushing off his pristine suit as he glared at Perry.

"Whoa! Hey! Ow! Watch it!"

"...Hmm."

"...I should've never introduced you to Neo. Doesn't anything bother you?"