Disclaimer: I do not own Fifty Shades of Grey, or any of the associated characters. Nor do I own any of the other fictional characters who serve Mr Grey his much-justified desserts.

Summary: Basically what it says on the tin. Christian Grey meets his demise at the hands of other fictional characters. Crossover with multiple other fandoms.

The Many Deaths of Christian Grey

Ana Grey, formerly Anastasia Rose Steele, walked into the sweeping mansion that she shared with her husband and two children, looking at the clock and deciding that she still had an hour to relax before she had to pick up Teddy and Phoebe from daycare.

Maybe a bubble bath, with some of those expensive, floral-scented products that Christian had brought back from a business trip to Paris. Managing Grey Publishing was an exhausting job.

Most CEOs of a publishing company would work Nine-to-Five at least, if they didn't bring their work home with them, but Ana was proud of the support team she had amassed below her, who took care of everything and only brought her papers to sign occasionally, leaving her free to spend most of her day emailing her stunning husband, taking personal calls and long lunch breaks, and go home early.

Sometimes Ana thought that her staff were working around her, but Christian always seemed to have plenty of free time when they were dating, so she was probably just imagining things.

Ana was about to summon Gail to draw her a bath and bring a glass of fancy french wine, when she heard someone clear their throat behind her.

The woman was unfairly beautiful, with long black hair, exotic golden-brown skin, and eyes like melted gold. A modest green dress complimented her stunning looks, though the… shawl? cape?… whatever it was she had over the top looked quite bulky. She wasn't blonde, and had an air of kindness that made Ana think that they could easily have been friends.

Or perhaps not, given the faint, but visible, disapproving frown on the woman's face.

Instinctively, Ana's hackles went up. "Who are you, and what are you doing in my house? Mrs Taylor would have told me if she needed to hire more help."

It was a calculated insult, aimed to remind the woman that Ana was more independent, richer and more important than she was, and that this foreigner didn't stand a chance with Ana's husband. But despite the flash in her eyes, there and gone in an instant, the woman appeared neither insulted nor intimidated. "My name is Marian Yaslana, and I'm here because you need a few things pointed out to you."

Yaslana? What an odd name. European, perhaps? "What do you mean?"

Marian shifted, her shawl giving her an almost-hunchbacked appearance. "Anastasia, I know that it is hard to leave everything behind for the unknown, and that a lifetime of feeling inferior can be hard to overcome, but you can't just wait around for it to get worse. I did, and nearly died for it."

Ana sighed, already bored with the conversation. Marian was the first to outright state her opinion, but this was far from the first time that a woman had tried to hint that Christian, the best thing to ever happen to her, might not be. Ana had brushed their hints and suggestions aside, convinced that the women only wanted her out of the way so that they could have a shot at her Fifty Shades.

Still, Marian wasn't the tan blonde that Christian liked in the office, or the pale brunette that he liked in his bed. There was no need to get angry at her. "It's not like that, really. Christian just likes to be in control, and I like having someone look after me, for once. Its totally understandable, with our childhoods. My dad died before I was born, and my mom jumped from husband to husband. Ray, my stepdad, is nice, but he never says much, and his idea of comfort is making tea. I had Kate, in collage, and her family paid for stuff, but she's like a walking inquisition!"

Ana smiled, expecting Marian to understand that she and Christian were both a little damaged, but that was what made them such a perfect couple, that they could forgive each other's flaws, rather than letting it drive them apart. Ana had forgiven Jose for kissing her while she was drunk, forgiven Kate for shouting at Christian when she discovered the Submissive Contract, and forgiven Christian for ignoring her safe-word. She could forgive Marian for making assumptions.

To her surprise, the other woman did not look horrified at Ana's history of misfortune, or even sympathetic. Instead, Marian growled. "You had a stepfather who loved you, a friend who financially supported you, and your mother had several partners. This makes you think that life is unfair? I spent longer than you can imagine treated like a slave by my family, because I wasn't gifted in a way that made them look special and important! My father sold me to repay a gambling debt! My sister-in-law was repeatedly raped and abused as a child, to the point that she spent two years in a coma!"

That was why they had left Jaenelle back in Khaleer, attending to some of her duties as Queen, with Surreal to distract her if Jaenelle finished before they did. Khaleer's Heart didn't need to be reminded of Briarwood just because some silly girl wanted to feel like a martyr.

Lucivar had argued that Marian didn't need to be reminded of the abuse she had suffered from her family, either, but Marian had made her peace with her past years ago, and with the fact that her father, if not her entire family, had most likely been caught up in the Cleansing of the Blood. She could make Ana face the truth without becoming so enraged that she accidentally killed her, which was a very real risk with the darker-jewelled blood.

Ana's mouth dropped open. No one had ever put it like that before, and for a moment, she felt like the world's biggest child. The whiny bitch or attention whore that she always silently accused other women of being, whether they were a shy waitress or a confident businesswomen. But she wasn't ready to face that thought. "Well… well, Christian's mother was a crack-whore who didn't protect him from her pimp, and he was alone with her for days when she died! Then he was shunted between foster homes, with no-one to love him. It's not his fault that he only knows one way to show affection."

Anger flashed in Marian's eyes again, before she visibly calmed herself. "Whores are people who do what they must to survive, and assuming that they are weak is a mistake. My husband was shunned because he was believed illegitimate. He was an unwilling slave for countless women, for longer than you've been alive. He's not the most cultured of people, and he definitely has a temper, but he never used that, or his past, as an excuse to abuse me."

Well, it couldn't have been that bad, then, if Marian's husband hadn't been traumatised by it. Ana was diplomatic enough not to tell the other woman that she was over-reacting and that other people had suffered worse, so she tried to change the subject. "You know, I'm sure if you meet Christian, you'll see he's not like that."

Marian patted Ana on the arm. "I don't think that will be necessary."

There was something about the way Marian said it that made Ana's blood run cold. Jack Hyde had spoken with the same satisfaction when he spoke about making Christian suffer. Marian looked like she wouldn't hurt a fly, but somehow, Ana had the feeling that the other woman could be dangerous, if she chose to be.

Marian's smile was calm, her voice almost a croon, yet somehow it sent a thrill of terror down Ana's spine. "My husband and brother-in-law are having a talk with him now. If he truly is the paragon of virtue that you claim, he will be fine."

If not... well, Lucivar had opinions about abusers. He tended to deliver those opinions very decisively. Daemon would simply kill Christian and make him enjoy it, but when Marian left, Lucivar was trying to convince his brother to remain with Jaenelle. The Sadist would draw too much attention here.

But Damon Sadi had never been one to sit back while the innocent were abused, and Jaenelle's abuse was a particular trigger point. Even Lucivar, Warlord Prince and Eyrien warrior that he was, knew that there were limits to how far The Sadist could be pushed.

Marian knew how dangerous it was to be anywhere near her husband's brother (or her husband) when they rose to the killing edge. She found herself hoping that Mr Grey provoked the brothers into such a mood.

If anyone deserved the wrath of The Sadist and the Warlord Prince of Ebon Rih, it was Christian Grey.

Christian walked into the Seattle penthouse, making a beeline for a very special room.

He was annoyed that he had to re-stock the Playroom, but ever since Gail had put her foot down and told him that sterilising sex toys was way above her pay-grade, and obviously he couldn't ask his security detail to waste time cleaning, it was easier to buy new toys than to clean the old ones himself. He had offered to give his Housekeeper a raise, but she had insisted that there wasn't enough money in the world.

Christian had wanted to include a Playroom in the house he built for Ana and his family, but then Teddy had happened, and Ana had said that unless he wanted to explain BDSM to a curious child who explored everywhere and repeated everything he heard to anyone who would listen, the most they could have in the house was a few toys in a locked bedside cabinet, and the Playroom at his apartment.

He planned to whisk his wife away for the weekend, leaving the kids with Elliot and his wife. He hadn't asked if his brother and the blonde he had insisted on marrying wanted to take the hyperactive four-year-old and the girl who was afflicted with a case of the terrible-twos, on top of little Ava. Nor had he asked if they might have plans of their own. Or if Ana even wanted to go away, rather than having a quiet weekend at home.

He was the Dominant in their relationship, no matter how bad a submissive his wife made. Exercising control didn't mean asking for permission.

Christian game to a very abrupt halt when he saw that the room was already occupied by two men. Both had black hair, golden eyes, tan skin, and dangerously blank expressions, but that was where the similarities ended.

One was tall and muscular, dressed in leather and with - Christian had to blink several times to make sure he wasn't seeing things - large, bat-like wings. The other was the most attractive person Christian had ever seen, radiating raw sexuality, dressed in black pants and a white silk shirt.

For a moment, Christian wondered if he might be Gay, as his family had assumed, after all, but he shook that thought off immediately. He was nothing so disgusting as that. "Who are you, and how did you get in here?"

Stupid fucking security team! Sure, he had ordered them to wait for him outside, but they should have warned him! What did he fucking pay them for?

The man with - Christian struggled to wrap his mind around the concept - wings regarded him for a moment, before his lips curled into a slow, lazy, arrogant grin. Christian gritted his teeth; it was the same smile he had seen - and hated - a thousand times over. The smile of one who thinks that you are dirt under their feet, and don't need to prove that they are better than you.

It was a smile that Christian itched to punch off of the wearer's face, which was how many of his schoolyard brawls had started. Looking at the man's stance and muscular build, very similar to that of Jean-Claude, however, Christian thought that it might not be a good idea. It might put Ana out of the mood for sex.

The winged man apparently decided that he had made Christian squirm enough, and answered the question. "Lucivar Yaslana. As for why we're here… you've got a Tainted mind, boyo, and where we come from, there are penalties for people who abuse women. My wife is talking to your wife about it as we speak."

Someone had actually been willing to marry this freak of nature? Perhaps she could be threatened or bribed to be used against him. No one scared Christian Grey and got away without punishment. "You have a wife? Aren't you concerned about her safety when you aren't there?"

Lucivar smiled, but there was no warmth or humour in it. "Marian can look after herself. I told her once that if she got hurt because she was too stubborn to defend herself, I would beat the shit out of her." Well, that was an idea Christian could get behind… "She told me that if I ever raised a hand to her, she would gut me."

Wait, what? How emasculated was he, that this man could let a woman talk to him like that? But there was pride in his eyes, pride and adoration of a woman who stood up to him. Deciding not to dwell on that, Christian turned his attention to the other man. "And you?"

The cultured, well-dressed man also smiled, and Christian had to remind himself again that he was not gay. He did not find men attractive, even if they oozed raw sexual energy like this one did. "Daemon Sadi SaDiablo, occasionally known as The Sadist. You may call me Prince Sadi."

Christian tried for a confident smile, thinking that at least one of the men was finally speaking a language he understood. Some of his former Submissives had called him a sadist, too, even if Daemon SaDiablo sounded like a stage name. Best not to let Ana meet him. "You're a dominant?"

The handsome man smiled as well, but it was all teeth, the smile of a predator who finds it amusing to let the prey think it has a chance. "No, I mean that people called me The Sadist, because of what I did to the people who crossed me or harmed those I cared about."

Anyone in a two-mile radius who had even a flicker of psychic intuition shivered and looked around, as the Black power lashed out, and retreated just as swiftly. The sons of the High Lord of Hell lowered the shields that protected them from getting splattered, and caught the psychic wind to where Marian waited for them.

It was fitting, after all, that what Christian's wife had dubbed the 'Red Room of Pain', be painted with the blood of its owner.

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A/N: This has been floating around in my head since I read das-mervin's sporking of the trilogy, and the many spitefics that the trilogy has generated.

For those who haven't read the Black Jewels Trilogy: go and do so. It's a fantastic, dark, enthralling series that should probably come with a trigger warning. At first, I planned on Jaenelle being the one to show up to deal with Christian, but I can't write Jaenelle for crap, so Marian, Lucivar and Daemon it was.

Constructive criticism is much appreciated, as are suggestions for any other fandom that you want to see have a crack at Grey.

In other news: I'VE FINALLY BEEN PUBLISHED! 'Cinderella Grows a Spine' and 'The Highwayman's Legacy' are now available through Amazon, and both have sequels in the works.

Thanks,

Nat