You wiped your eyes again with a frown as the back wall of the room slid open. You had recovered from that embarrassing meltdown already, and were ready to finally solve the mystery of this room. Whatever was back there had better have been good for you to have gone through that meltdown. Once you figured it out, the puzzle was easy, but you were feeling drained after all of that… emotion? You were pretty sure you weren't supposed to feel that. Maybe it was some sort of muscle memory thing. Flowey would probably know more about it than you.

But Flowey didn't matter right then. You just wanted to figure out the secret of this place.

"Come on, Frisk!" You announced, floating ahead. "That treasure won't collect itself!" Frisk followed a bit complacently. You could tell they were worried about you. See, that's exactly the kind of thing you didn't miss. All of that feeling bad for people and wanting to help them through their problems got you nowhere. All it did was make people want to depend on you later. Utterly pointless.

The first thing you saw was what had to be the treasure. A gleaming red orb, resting atop an ornate pedestal. The sight filled you with… something. Not determination that was for sure. "What… is it?" you muttered with a dumbfounded expression. You wanted gold, not some sort of weird ball.

"Maybe it's an orb of ultimate power?" Frisk suggested. "I saw it in a comic once." That sounded dumb. But if that's what it really was, who were you to complain? With this, who needed LV in the first place?

Frisk stepped forward to grab the orb. You watched anxiously. "Careful, it might be booby-trapped. And we haven't SAVEd in a while." If only you had something its exact weight and size. Then you could quickly switch the two out and avoid any giant boulders or arrows like in that movie.

Their hand inched forward ever so slowly. Their fingers just barely touched its surface. Suddenly, Frisk stopped. "Grab it already, idiot!" You shouted without realizing it. Man, where did that outburst come from?

"I can't put it in the inventory. Too many dogs."

You blinked. Too many… dogs? Did you hear that right? They had to be joking.

And yet, evidently not. Frisk held out their hand, and popping into existence came… Annoying Dog. You'd know that shaggy white fur and dopey expression anywhere. Your eyes instantly narrowed. You definitely understood Papyrus' annoyance with this thing. "You… deployed the dog..." you said with utter confusion and apathy.

What happened next, neither of you could expect. At once, the dog burst forward. Or more accurately, floated out of Frisk's much smaller hand (seriously how was it even standing in their hand anyway?). It moved erratically until it landed right on the pedestal. Right on the treasure!

"Don't you dare!" It was almost like A.D. looked you right in the eyes at it put its paw on the orb. And absorbed it into itself.

You and Frisk both stood dumbfounded as the dog once again floated off to parts unknown. You could have sworn it literally passed through the cave walls. but it was too dark to tell. You just hoped there really was a hole in the rock somewhere. The implications of the other possibility were too annoying to imagine.

"I can't believe… a dog stole our treasure," you muttered angrily.

"Don't worry, Chara," Frisk said suddenly. They were going through their inventory again. You knew that blank stare anywhere. "It left another treasure!" What popped into existence next made you want to barf. It was a pile of garbage. One that seemed to be inexplicably growing. This was what Frisk considered treasure?

"I can probably heal myself with this. I see some food in there." You stared at Frisk with horrified concern. They were going to eat that?!

"Never talk to me again."

~Twenty Minutes Later~

"How long does this fight last again?" You ask Frisk as they circle around another volley of weird squiggly balls. "He's getting cotton all over the dialogue box again." You wiped a handful of the fluff from the air. One of the only monsters who was dedicated to wiping you out for something you didn't even remember doing, and they were a complete idiot. They made angry people look bad, which was a crime in your opinion.

The odd magic attacks once again struck Mad Dummy directly. They flinched for just a moment, but their odd dance continued in due time. Did this thing even have an exploitable health bar? You liked it better when your concentrated malice made them so mad they fused with that stupid dummy. So much easier to hit that way.

"We haven't even gotten to the missile part yet," Frisk replied. "Another three minutes I think." You groaned. This fight lasted forever! There wasn't even an option to try and fight back! Who designed this anyway? If this were a video game, you'd find this portion rather annoying.

"Foolish! Foolish! Foolish!" Mad Dummy shouted. At once, smaller dummies appeared by the sides of your vision, ready to fall into Frisk. And you for that matter. You found out the hard way that their attacks managed to hit you somehow. And hurt. Maybe because you were both ghosts? You'd never know. But for once, you and Frisk were working side-by-side to dodge these attacks. It was wild.

Dummies slid by as you jumped into the one free spot. Another group appeared from above and fell down. You and Frisk narrowly avoided that one, but it was muscle memory at that point. Right on cue, a group of dummies appeared again, and fired their long-range magic from behind you. Frisk placed themselves right in front of Mad Dummy and jumped out of the way just in time. The attacks struck your plush adversary instead, pissing him off even more. This was just getting aggravating.

"Futile futile futile!"

"Will you shut up already?!" You shouted back.

"No!" You blinked. Did Mad Dummy just…? No… that wasn't possible.

Another volley of attacks followed. You were getting sick of this whole routine. A chorus of insults in threes came and went, along with your last nerves. But finally, it was time to switch things up.

"HEY GUYS!" Mad Dummy shouted. They were pissed off. More than they usually were anyway. Their dummy lackies appeared again, but from all sides.. If you didn't know any better you'd have thought they were scared. "Dummies. Dummies! DUMMIES! Remember how I said NOT to shoot at me!? Well… FAILURES! YOU'RE ALL FIRED! YOU'RE ALL BEING REPLACED!"

So, they were actually sentient beings? Why couldn't Mad Dummy do anything for themselves?

"Haha! Hahahahah! Now you'll see my true power! Relying on people that aren't garbage!"

Apparently not.

A mechanical whir began to fill the whir, even amongst Mad Dummy's jazzy tune. You wondered when Napstablook would show up and end this. Maybe you could go get them or something.

"Dummy bots! MAGIC MISSILES!" A quartet of dummies appeared behind you, but these were no ordinary plush monstrosities. These were ordinary STEEL monstrosities! Ones that fired missiles instead of squiggly balls that honestly didn't do much.

Right on cue, each of the dummies fired a missile. They all homed in on Frisk, the glowing red light on each signifying their activation. Frisk set off at a run, circling one area. You both knew how to take care of this attack with ease. The missiles followed, though their power supplies were obviously running out with each passing second. And when the last bit of power blinked out, the missiles were set on a straight path. Directly into Mad Dummy's face.

But for some reason, they were glaring at a mirror at that moment. They barely reacted to getting struck by their own attack, but turned to glare at you and Frisk with the same expression.

"Dummy bots! Try again!" Mad Dummy was getting even more pissed off. You wondered if it were possible for them to form a crystal of solid rage. You saw that in a movie once.

This time, dummy bots appeared from three sides. In an instant, missiles were fired from each and every one. You and Frisk ran toward Mad Dummy to get away from the initial wave, and once again circled the missiles to get them to go where you wanted. However, this time, not all of them hit their mark, and instead flew off into space. This didn't make your scarecrow of an enemy any less mad though.

"He's hopping mad," you said, unable to resist the pun. God, Sans was getting to you.

"Dummy bots!? You're awful too!?" They began hopping around like crazy, body parts not even staying together. "Argh! FINAL ATTACK, EVERYONE!"

At once, dummies appeared on either side of you. You and Frisk jumped into a safe place as they shot past. But just in time, a missile came barreling down at you. Frisk ducked down. The rocket shot overhead. But it was time for another round of regular dummies. They came from above and below. You and Frisk ran for cover, but another missile was coming your way. You both ducked under the missile, and slid into the open area right before the dummies reach it. But just in time, a whole squad of robo-dummies appeared on all sides. Frisk dodged a volley of missiles from the front. They ran in circles, letting the dummies own weakness take care of itself as always. And this time, all missiles hit their mark.

"N-no way!" Mad dummy sputtered. "These guys are even WORSE than the other guys!" A vein bulged in their head as they opened their bloodshot eyes wide. "WHO CARES WHO CARES WHO CARES! I DON'T NEED THOSE GUYS ANYWAY! I DON'T NEED FRIENDS! I HAVE KNIVES!"

With a ping, a metal knife popped into existence next to Mad Dummy. With all their psychic might, they threw the weapon across the void.

And made it nowhere near your or Frisk. Like, five yards off. Everyone present paused in shocked silence. The dummy because they were shocked at their failure. You and Frisk because it was just pathetic.

"I'm… out of knives..." they said sheepishly. But they quickly shot back to their animated rage. "But it doesn't matter! I can't hurt you and you can't hurt me!" Their flopping rage grew even more insane. "YOU'LL BE STUCK FIGHTING ME FOREVER! FOREVER FOREVER FOREVER! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

Mad dummy flailed wildly, every part of their body flapping in the nonexistent wind. You stared impassively, wishing you had a watch. But after a few moments…

"Three… two… one..."

Familiar drops of liquid began to fall onto Mad Dummy's head. A deluge of the drops cascaded down, smothering the ghost under them. They flailed once again, but this time in pain.

"Wh… what the heck is this!? ERHG! ACID RAIN!? OH FORGET IT! I'm out of here."

And with that, Mad dummy floated up and out of sight. You made sure to include a slide whistle noise with their exit. What? It wasn't like you couldn't make your own sound effects. You figured that out while fighting Shyren. Or more accurately, having a concert with her. And then promptly broke up after a thirty year career that lasted five minutes. Were you bitter? Of course not. Just because she went off on a successful solo career and left you in the dust didn't mean you had to be mad.

Wait, what were you doing again? Oh right, talking to Napstablook. Once again, their toxic tears had saved the day. Not that they realized it.

"o-oh, i made your friend go away as soon as i came over..." You groaned. There they went again with that whole victim routine. Didn't Napstablook ever realize they were useful? "you guys looked like you were having fun… i just wanted to say hi… i'm sorry…"

And with that, the battle screen faded away, and you were left standing knee deep in trash water. Just perfect.

Napstablook still stood before you, looking even more pitiful than usual. "u-um, my house is just up ahead if you two want to stop by… not that you have to or anything..." And with that, the ghost floated on up ahead, leaving you to focus on just one word in that sentence. You floated there, dumb-founded and jaw on the floor.

"Did they just say… two?"