In this chapter I went out of my comfort zone and *warning* there is smut in this chapter! so feel free to skip past it if its not your thing :) please review!

Chapter 16

Jax stood staring at Emery as she sat by the tree her gazed fixed though she didn't really seem to be looking at anything,

'Emery?' Jax softly called her name, she was shivering, he wasn't sure if it was because she was freezing or because of what she had endured. He took a small step towards her and felt his heart break when she clung tighter to herself, stepping slowly towards her he picked up her coat and continued making his way to her, she didn't seem to notice him her gaze still fixed on the dead man. In this moment Jax would have given anything for her to not have been here, for to have not witnessed and experienced what just happened to her, if only he hadn't acted like such a little bitch and had ran off at the first sign of conversation turning to Ryan and Emery's relationship. Realisation hit him pretty fucking hard in the face, Emery was scared and hurt and it was definitely his fault.

Her vision blurred as hot tears flooded her eyes, she didn't know how long she was sat there until a fuzzy picture captured her vision, a warm hand touched her shoulder snapping her out of her daze as she jolted away.

'Emery, it's me' a familiar voiced called to her but she couldn't bring herself to look in the direction it came from, instead another silent tear fell, she couldn't feel the cold anymore nor the rain, all she could feel was a burning streak from her neck down to her waistband. It's all she could focus on the moments replaying in her head, over and over. Max's breath, his touch, his sick smile, that stomach turning laugh. He was going to… he almost did until Jax, she started panicking her breaths becoming short, of course Jax had saved her, he always protected her, where was Jax? Was he okay? Oh god did he get hurt?. Instantly she was scrambling to her feet,

'Jax? ... Jackson?' she began shouting his name until blue eyes met her own,

'hey, hey.. Em I'm here' cold hands softly griped her upper arms, 'I'm right here' he practically whispered to her before she crushed herself into his chest.

Her grip was firm, border lining on painful but he didn't care he was just grateful he was getting some response from her, he could feel her shivering, so he wrapped her coat around her, stroking her back, 'lets get you out of the cold' he whispered to her, she nodded her response into his chest letting him guide her arms into her coat.

'thank you' Emery's voice was quiet and soft,

'you don't have to thank me Red' he gave her a small smile even though he wasn't sure she'd see it in the dark, the rain still pouring down on them,

'I'm not talking about the coat' her voice cut off. He stopped walking, turning to face her when he felt a tug on the hand which was holding hers.

'I know' he whispered taking his cap off of his head and placing it on hers, her hair was already piss wet through but he could see her squinting in the rain as she looked up at him,

'you stopped him from…' her eyes drifted down to their feet, 'he nearly…'

'don't' Jax warned her 'we don't have to talk about it and no one has to know' he placed two fingers underneath her chin tilting her head up so that her grey eyes burned into his own.

'Ryan and the others, they can't know Jax' he could see the panic creeping into her eyes, he squeezed the hand he was still holding hoping to lend some form of comfort.

'okay, I won't say anything' he shook his head at her 'you have my word… now come on before you catch something' he began guiding her back to the cabin.

Stepping through the door to the cabin, the low light of the fire hurt his eyes. Emery was still safely tucked under his arm. He could feel her shivering and hoped she wasn't going to get sick, she shouldn't have been out there. He guided her slowly to the sofa 'you need to take your jacket off Emery its wet…. Here wrap yourself in the blanket instead' he handed the blanket to her but she made no move to change out of her jacket. He bent down so that worried blue eyes met blank grey ones. She looked back at him but there was no spark just absence. 'I'm gonna take this off okay?' he asked as he reached for her zip, he didn't want to scare her and he didn't want to wake April to help, Emery had said she didn't want anyone to know and he was unsure as to whether that included April or not, but he thought it best that she tell her herself when she was good and ready.

He slowly began to unzip her coat slightly and her eyes flashed down to his hand and back up to his eyes, panic flooded her face and Jax felt a warm rage begin to burn in him. Her cold soft hand wrapped around his which was holding her zip, thinking she wanted to do it herself he went to move his hand but Emery's tightened around his own. He continued to unzip her jacket her hand placed over his. Once her jacket was undone Jax reached for the blanket and held it up as Emery slowly shrugged out of it, folding her arms against her chest, Jax carefully wrapped a blanket around her.

'I'm gonna go run the shower you need to clean up' he told her before leaving. On his way to the bathroom he checked on April and thanked god she was a heavy sleeper and was also safe. Where were Juice and Ryan? They were supposed to be out in the woods keeping an eye out. He'd have words once he got back. He stopped in the doorway to the lounge and looked at Emery her gaze was blank and fixed on the burning fire, he could see its flickers reflecting in her dead eyes. Her hair a shade darker because of the rain was tattered and tangled with bits of the forest, her skin had lost its glow and was layered with dirt and grime. He had to look away, it hurt too much to see her like this.

Once he'd got her into the bathroom he left her to shower with the promise that he'd bring her some clean stuff she could sleep in. routing through her bags he found an old top of Opie's which she'd packed, some pyjama shorts and some clean pants. He gently knocked on the bathroom door not wanting to wake April but there wasn't an answer, 'Emery?' he whispered and waited for a reply he didn't get. Taking a deep breath and running his hand through his own tangled hair he slowly opened the door. At first he saw nothing and panic started to set in then he looked down to find the pale mahogany haired girl sat with her knees up to her chest and her chin on her knees the water running over her, he walked closer and shut the door behind him, locking the door before turning to face his friend the last thing he needed was April walking in, she'd misread the situation and he was too tired to have to try and lie himself out of this one. As he reached Emery he was glad to find that she still had her panties and bra on. She looked up at him and he realised he wasn't looking at his Emery, he was looking at the 6 year old girl he had first met the one who had been fragile and broken. Though she'd smiled when they'd met he'd known behind it was hurt and loss, but this 16 year old Emery didn't smile to hide her pain, this time it was spread across her face for all to see and he realised that not only was she scared and frightened about what had happened to her tonight, but that the one person she wanted with her right now and needed wasn't here and she never would be. She would never hold her and tell her that it would be alright, she would never have her mother sat with her the first time a boy breaks her heart and stroke her hair and soothe her, no all she had was a father who although he loved her more than anything didn't know about that sort of comfort. Her father would want to kill the boy instead. Before he'd even realised it, he was doing the only thing he could think of and the only think he had thought to do when he'd met her. Hold her.

After some time she lifted her head from Jax's chest and met his eyes, there she found a rage burning behind them with sympathy reflecting back at her. She needed to get grip, tonight could have been so much worse, sure she felt like every inch of her skin was covered in a dirt that she couldn't wash off and all she could hear was Max's laugh. But she needed to forget about it or at least hide how she felt in front of people, otherwise it would raise questions, questions she wasn't sure she could deflect, she hated lying to her friends and family but tonight is a night that will forever be buried and looking at Jax right now she knew he thought the same whatever happened or had happened tonight died in the morning. They'd be no talk of the two people they'd encountered in the woods, no talk of what happened out there whatsoever. She flinched when she felt a warm hand tuck a stray piece of wet hair behind her ear.

'sorry' Jax whispered to her and she shook her head

'I was just thinking that's all' she stood up a little bit shaky and Jax stood with her placing a hand on her hip to steady her. She could feel his thumb rubbing calming circles into her bare hip, his other hand reached behind her head and gently pulled her forwards until his lips touched her forehead. Her hands were placed on his chest

'I'm so sorry' he whispered again his lips still touching her forehead,

'shh' she pulled him closer so she was hugging him his head resting on top of her own, feeling the wet fabric of his top against her bare skin she realised that he must have taken his hoodie, knife and shoes off before sitting in the shower with her but he still had his top and his jeans on. Taking hold of the hem of his shirt she began to pull it up over him, Jax pulled away slightly and looked at her a little unsure, she gave him a little nod and he raised his arms as she continued to remove his top, it was difficult enough with it being wet and sticking to him without the height difference being against her too, she couldn't quite reach to get it over his upstretched arms and she gave a small laugh when she got it stuck and Jax had to finish removing it, she was greeted by his signature smile once it was removed. She smiled back at him and though it didn't quite reached her eyes she knew Jax was just grateful she wasn't in her previous catatonic state, she reached for his belt and he stepped closer to her, she could feel her heart pick up in her chest, feeling the heat radiating from his now bare torso. Undoing the belt she quickly pulled it so that it was free from his belt loops giving a satisfying snapped when it was free she had to laugh a little when Jax raised his eyebrow at her a small smirk playing on his lips, once she'd undone his button and his fly she gave a little push letting his jeans fall to the shower floor, Jax stepped out of them before ringing them out quickly and throwing them so they hung over the shower door. Emery stole a glance at him whilst he rung out his trousers, she'd never seen Jax this bare, topless was common but never like this she unconsciously bit her bottom lip as she watched the water drops ripple down each indent of his stomach muscles and disappearing into his boxers, her eyes lowered to see new droplets running down his lean thighs, blushing slightly she turned and stepped back so that the water was running over her, she reached to the side and picked up the soap she'd unpacked when they got there this morning. Jax's hand on her shoulder caused her to turn to look at him,

'let me?' it was more question than a request, she followed his gaze to the soap that was in her hand, confused she handed it him and he began rubbing it between his hands to lather it up 'turn around' he told her so she did. Facing him her heart picked up more, she reached and swept his wet blonde hair over and away from his face, and he gave her a little smile before taking her hand and placing it on his taunt shoulder, she resisted the urge to squeeze his shoulder as he gently glided his soaped up hand over and around her arms making its way up to her shoulder, she let out a giggle and recoiled back when he went to clean under her arm, she was rewarded with a childish smile from Jax before he switched resting her other hand on his shoulder and repeating the process making her giggle when he made his way under her arm again, he'd forgotten just how ticklish she was. She held her hands up to him in mock surrender and he noticed the gash in her right palm, she watched him closely as his frown line appearing on his forehead and he took her hand placing it under the water he gently ran his hands over the cut removing the dry blood, once it was deemed clean she watched him as he carefully raised her palm to his lips, kissing the garish mark on her palm she could feel herself blush. Reaching up she grabbed the shampoo and began lathering up her hair, within seconds her hands were replace by Jax's they stood there together under the running water whilst Jax shampooed and conditioned her hair.

'let me?' she asked him once he was done and he smiled at the sarcasm in her voice but handed the soap over, 'turn around' she told him and he did as she asked facing away from her. he felt delicate hands start at the top of his shoulders and roam their way down his back to the waistband of his boxers, he had to fight to hold back the shiver of pleasure he felt as her hands returned to his shoulders and she gently guided him back round so that he was facing her again, there was a different look in her brilliant grey eyes a look he hadn't seen before. Emery's hand on his chest distracted him from his train of thought and he looked down to watch her hands run a trail down past his pecks and across his abdominals. He took a deep breath trying to control himself. He wasn't sure what was happening here. Were they acting of instinct or just caring for each other after what had been an extremely strange and emotional night? Needing to break the eye contact between them before he ended up revealing to Emery the effect her wondering hands on him he turned her round so he could clean her back but his breath caught in his chest when he saw the scratches that ran down her back.

She turned her head when she heard Jax's breath she'd only realised she'd scratched her back when she'd felt the sting of it when she first stepped under the shower, reaching behind her she grasped his hand squeezing gently,

'it's okay' she cooed to him, she didn't get a reply, so she was about to turn around when she felt hot lips on her shoulder where one of the scratches were, moments later another kiss was placed on her neck, closing her eyes she leaned back into Jax's chest, she felt his breath on the back of her neck as he scooped up her hair and moved it so it draped over her opposite shoulder, feeling his breath run over her was freeing, almost like it was removing the stain that was there from her previous encounter with Max, she let out a contented sigh as Jax's hand moved to glide over her hip and stopped splayed over her toned stomach. She let her head roll back and fall onto his shoulder, her hand ran down his arm and locked with Jax's on her stomach, she felt another kiss just below her ear 'tell me to stop Em' he bit at her earlobe, and she let out a low breath. This seemed to encourage him as his hand on her stomach glided to just under her breasts her hand left behind now held his bicep Jax used his other hand to tilt her head up slightly to gain better access to her throat as he began kissing and sucking on her exposed skin.

Any minute now he thought any minute now he'd stop, he knew this was wrong she'd had an emotional night she might not be thinking properly and there was Ryan she was with Ryan his girlfriend, but how was he supposed to stop something that felt so natural to him so right? He wasn't sure he could break away from this, from holding her, kissing her, breathing in her familiar citrusy smell. He knew that the events of tonight would never be discussed, Max would never be discussed the fact that he had yet again killed a man wouldn't be discussed nor the fact that there was a possibility that Emery had committed a crime she had all but sworn she would never be able to do. He didn't see this coming at all but if this would be all he'd get from her just this one night he'd take it and if she woke tomorrow and decided that it had been a mistake and it shouldn't have happened he'd accept it. But he wouldn't take this too far he'd go as far as she was willing and no further even if that meant it ended here. Almost as though she'd made her decision she turned in his grip, his hands now held her back gently for fear of hurting her cuts, her hands rested on his biceps, her innocent grey eyes were burning with…passion? He was stuck captivate by this new expression he'd discovered that was spread across her face and rested in her perfect pout.

Letting out a breath Emery rose to her tip toes and covered Jax's lips with her own, she pulled back and licked her bottom lip tasting Jax before leaning in again and this time she was greeted with his response, his mouth opened and his tongue darted out to meet her own, she could hear her heart slamming in her chest, she was kissing Jax! Their tongues entwined gently, there was no urgency no rush, his grip on her back tightened crushing her to his body, hurting her a little but she didn't care. One of her hands moved to touch his cheek. Jax broke away from the kiss and looked down at her as she settled back on flat feet, the fire burning in his eyes was enough for her she knew her answer and she stroked under his left eye where it was starting to swell from his fight with Max's friend, he leaned down to kiss her again this time there was more urgency she was captured by his kiss he was taking charge and she was happy to surrender to him, his hand moved to the clasp of her bra and he stopped pulling away ever so slightly so that their lips were hovering centimetres from each other, 'it's okay' she breathed to him and in one swift move her bra was unclasped. Jax dipped his head and bit her shoulder gently before removing the strap, and began working his way biting and sucking his way up her neck as he removed her bra, she gave out a quiet moan as his hands moved to cup her breasts, rolling his thumb over one nipple making it firm he took the other in his mouth sucking and licking at it, she threw her head back as she gasped at the feeling one hand locked in his hair the other holding his shoulder her nails digging in to is flesh, he looked up at her with that smirk before returning to kissing her his hands keeping their attention on her nipples.

She ran one hand down his chest and stomach she felt his muscles ripple at her touch once her hand reached his waistband she ran a hand along his skin there before pushing own past the band and through the mass of dark blonde hair until she felt his length, nervousness set in, she hadn't really done anything like this before sure her and Ryan had got to this point but they'd been interrupted by Juice before anything could really happen. Deciding it was best she admit it to Jax now before she embarrassed herself, she stroked him and taking his sharp intake of breath as a good sign she did it again. Placing a kiss on his chest she lifted her eyes to lock with his, 'Jax I… I' she looked down and away from him as embarrassment burnt at her face, Jax's hand lifted her face to meet his gaze.

'Em?' he looked concerned and her heart swelled for her friend standing in front of her,

'i…I haven't really…erm' she looked down again and he lowered his head to meet her gaze,

'is this okay?' he asked 'what you want?' his eyes were searching hers, she bit her lip and nodded her head, he smiled at her before kissing her again then she felt his hand cover her own, as she worked him Jax guiding her. Jax backed them up so that Emery's back was pressed against the shower wall both now standing out of the water she raised her other hand and following by Jax's earlier example she began to trace circles round his nipple, she smiled to herself as his breathing picked up as she sucked and licked his other nipple, all the while continuing to stroke his hard length. His breathing hitched as she rolled her thumb over his head, capturing the little bead of come

'Jesus Em' his voice came out huskier than normal as she gripped him harder working him faster, his hand left her to her own rhythm and traced its way between her breast and down to her panties skating across her stomach, looking at her for what seemed like permission she nodded her head to him and took a deep breath as she felt his hands hook into her pants, she lost her grip on him as he bent to the floor taking her panties with him, she pouted missing the contact. He gave her a wicked grin before he ran his tongue along the inside of her thigh and she couldn't help the small hum that escaped her lips as her hand reached for his hair, her head resting back on the wall

'open your legs Red' his hands guided her legs slightly apart, she blushed having Jax so close to an intimate place made her slightly embarrassed, he flashed her a wicked grin as he ran a finger up her core, the ache in her groin intensifying, he began to rub her clit in slow circles. Her breathing becoming heavy and her eyes closing, her hand slipped to his neck as he stood, his hand still working her,

'look at me Em' Jax whispered to her and fighting to open them, she looked at Jax all of her earlier embarrassment gone all she could think about was Jax and the rising pressure she could feel growing.

Placing a delicate kiss on her lips, he slipped one finger into her opening, fuck she was tight, he didn't want to hurt her but the thought of possibly being the first person to do this to her and make her feel this way made him happy. He didn't know what she had and hadn't done with Ryan, it wasn't something he'd often thought about because the thought of it made him angry but being here with her now in this moment felt right to him. He knew that tomorrow they'd have to face what happened in the woods and whatever inevitably happened tonight but he couldn't bring himself to care as long as his Red was safe.

She began to breathe heavier, her forehead was now resting against Jackson's, their breaths mingling, now that she could reach again she began to return the favour to Jax carrying off where she left off she felt a small stab of pain in her groin as Jax replaced one finger with two, the pain soon subsided and made way for pleasure as his fingers continued to pump in and out of her, she'd heard that losing your virginity was painful but she trusted Jax and at this moment she couldn't imagine a better person to share it with if it came to it. Jax continued his onslaught and she could feel the pressure in her groin building, she could feel herself tightening and twitching around his fingers, he began to rub circles again as his fingers continued, a strange feeling was beginning to come over her and in all honesty it felt almost like her body wasn't sure if it wanted to pee or something else, she tensed hoping to prevent whatever it was,

'it's okay Em, let it happen' Jax whispered in her ear before tugging on her earlobe and she did she relaxed, one minute she was tense and nervous and the minute she let go it was like she was falling, the pressure that had gathered breaking through allowing nothing but pure pressure to fill her limbs and core, she bit into Jax's shoulder for fear of crying out. Jax's rhythm slowed gently easing her down from her high, her body started to sag against his but he kept her held upright.

She lazily washed her body over before stepping out into the towel Jax was holding out for her, his was already wrapped around his lower body.

'your beautiful Emery' Jax whispered to her as he placed a warm kiss on her forehead, instantly she felt the heat rising to her cheeks

'shut up Jax' she blushed at him 'come on, take me to bed' she pushed him forwards and he smiled at her and reaching for her hand he led her to the lounge.

They'd managed to make a makeshift bed on the floor in front of the fire, it would have been a squeeze them both trying to fit on the sofa. Emery had made the bed whilst Jax got the fire relit, she sat watching the flames dance in the fire, and she thought about what had happened tonight in the woods, she might have killed a man tonight. Her guilt started to creep in she'd left him there and even if she hadn't actually killed him , then she'd left him there to die at the very least, she was a terrible person. She brought her blanket covered knees up to her chest and rested her chin on them, her hair hung in soft damp waves down her back, she had on one of Jax's vest tops and some pants Jax had brought into the bathroom. She did originally have Opie's top on but being in front of the fire she'd gotten too warm. Jax was stoking the fire in nothing but his boxers.

She was lost in her own dark thoughts when she felt a nudge at her legs, she looked up to be met by Jax's worried gaze, 'you okay?' he asked her she just looked at him for a moment not knowing if she should speak her mind or not, she lifted her head up and reached out to brush some of Jax's hair away from his face

'I might have killed a man today' she stated to him, her voice distant and small, her head was captured by both of Jax's hands, he gently stroked her cheek,

'you don't know that you did' he shook his head at her 'and even if you did that bastard deserved it' his voice was final and she just closed her eyes and nodded to him. Jax was just trying to soothe her she knew that, she'd give herself tonight to act on the confused feelings she had for him and tomorrow she'd try and sort her poor confused mind out. She had so much to process, her feelings for Jax, for Ryan and what had happened or almost happened tonight and what she'd done to that man. 'you hear me Red' he asked her,

Closing her eyes a tear escaped and she damned herself for letting it slip 'yeah' her voiced cracked and then she leaned forwards capturing Jax in a passionate kiss. She pushed the blanket off of her and placing both hands on either side of Jax's face she dragged him down on top of her without breaking the kiss. She guided his hands to the hem of his vest she was wearing, Jax wasted no time getting her out of the top and panties she was wearing, his mouth found her breasts as his fingers focused all of their attention on her core, within minutes she was squirming beneath him. Her breathing hitched when Jax repositioned himself so he was holding himself up, his forearms framing each side of her head, she turned and kissed one of his bulging biceps before turning back to look at him. He shifted himself onto one arm so that he could hold himself at her entrance. She could feeling him nudging at her opening and although she was nervous for the pain she was excited.

'if you don't want to… I won't be..' he must have read the apprehensive look on her face but she was shaking her head at him before he could finish

'no it's okay' she smiled up at him, stroking his chest 'I want this' she planted a soft kiss on his lips and he nodded at her before pushing himself into her. A sharp pain stabbed at her groin causing her hands to instinctively grip tightly to his back and a pained whimper to escape her lips,

'you okay?' Jax looked genuinely worried and she wondered if he'd ever actually slept with a virgin before

'hmmm hmmm' she took a breath 'just go slow' she whispered to him, Jax stole a kiss from her as he pushed the rest of the way into her although she let out another whimper she didn't pull away from him.

'fuck Em' He stayed like that filling her so she could adjust. She ran her hand down his back, now covered by a sheen of sweat from holding himself in position, bracing herself for any more pain she flexed her hips causing a wave of pain mixed with pleasure to spark in her stomach. Her movement having given Jax the encouragement he'd needed, he began to slowly thrust in and out of her. her eyes were clenched shut and she buried her face into his neck as Jax started to drive home faster and harder. She wasn't in complete pain there were sparks of pleasure. She wanted to see his face, to see if this was what he wanted. She removed her head from the crook of his neck and looked up to him his face had an orange glow from the fire highlighting his cheeks and nose, his hair was sweaty and stuck to his face. Reaching up she brushed his hair from his sweaty forehead the look in his eyes was unfamiliar to her, a look she hadn't seen before. His face contorted before he buried his face in her neck, again picking up the pace. Her legs were locked around his back, her hands moved to grip tighter onto his shoulders making him let out a low moan into her neck, the sound instantly resonating with her groin. She felt him shudder and twitch before feeling warm liquid shoot inside her, Jax whispering her name. Jax's body collapsed on top of her own but she could tell he was still trying to hold himself up so that he didn't squash her.

She'd put her top back on and her pants and was now tucked under Jax's arm her head resting on his chest and her finger drawing patterns on his chest. 'I hear the croweater's talking about how you're a good shag' she sounded crude but that was how they put it, she lifted herself and turned her body so that she could put her chin on his chest, their faces inches apart 'is that what your like with them?' she couldn't help but feed her curiosity, the girls around the club would give anything to be with Jax and tonight she'd had him but did she have him the same as the others had had him?

'no, I've never been like that with anyone else' he told her as he stroked her hair, though she couldn't quite understand why she was happy to hear this. The way the girls talked about Jax he was all raw animal in the sack, but he hadn't seemed like that with her. Her own doubt began to set in, was he different with her because something was wrong with her?

'why' she asked before she'd had time to actually think of how to word her queries, he shrugged

'your different I guess' he told her before kissing her on the head, 'come on let's get some sleep' she turned onto her side facing away from Jax. She felt like they'd been close tonight, like something had been there but now her questions had made her feel distant,

'Jax tomorrow….this' she began but didn't quite know how to finish,

'I know Red…. I know' she felt a kiss on her temple before an arm slipped under her head, the other curling over her side and resting on her breast, Jax seemed to fit perfectly just behind her, his groin meeting her ass. Smirking to herself she wiggled slightly against him.

'don't' Jax's voice was husky in her ear 'you'll already be sore in the morning' he whispered before kissing the back of her head and hugging her tight against him. 'night Red'.

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