Chapter 1

No one knew how it happened. That day they were friends. The next, they were not. What happened? It's like all of sudden their friendship cracked. Their friends tried to fix it but now, they all split. One with the other and vice versa. It was just that one mistake that that person made that spilt everyone apart for months. Now it's been a year and they all are now in different cliques. What happened? What cracked?

[:Riley:]

It's been a year since the incident. I felt a tear drop but I quickly wiped it away. Stop crying Riley. You cried too much already. I got up from bed and decided to get change in my black t-shirt and jeans. I put on some dark makeup but not a lot. As you can see, I changed a lot because of what happened. It still hurts me everyday. The words they said to me.

"I only pretended to like you because I felt bad for you."

"I can't believe I was ever friends with a weirdo like you."

"I cheated on you, you little bitch."

"I hated you. So I got my revenge and stole your boyfriend."

I hated them ever since. I don't know why they were like this. I told myself to forget about them and walked down to the kitchen. I saw a few beer bottles on the table. I sighed. They drank again. I took the bottles and threw them away. I don't know what happened and I don't know how this happened to me. I was having the perfect life and now I have the most horrible life. I lost my boyfriend and best friend. I still have the other two. My parents are alcoholics but they still love me. My parents have been fighting a lot. They are thinking of divorce but I told them to work it out. So, probably before they went to this marriage therapy thing in Philly, they drank and drank. They didn't drank before and now they do. Auggie, he isn't doing too well either. Ever since my parents were drunk all the time and fighting, Auggie has been depressed. He got into fights and was caught drinking in the streets. He's only a ten year old boy and he started drinking. He's upset. My parents didn't even bother to pick him up from school so I had to when he was in trouble. I was more of a parent to him than my real parents were. Auggie and I have this special bond we have ever since this happened. Me, I'm depressed. I'm anorexic, bulimic, self harmed, and I have panic attacks and nightmares. I have a lot of anxiety. I just wish everything was how it was before.

I'm eighteen now and I'm going into my senior year. I can't wait to graduate and go far away from here. I'm becoming a writer and I have a scholarship to Emory University: Atlanta, Georgia already. I'm just glad I'll be staying far far away from New York. I've been working a lot. I've been working on two shifts everyday. In the summer, I worked as an intern as a journalist for two months. They paid me well that let me afford the cost of the bills and food. I don't have a car so I walk Auggie to school and myself to school. I don't want to pay for another object. Now, I'm done my internship and working in Topanga's full shift everyday after school. I am the manager there now. Katy died in a car accident and it was a tragic loss for everyone especially Her. On the weekends, I work as a feminist journalist which I love so much. I'm going to broadcast and display my speech next year. At nights, I work as a bartender serving drinks to people.

I walked up to Auggies room. I saw Auggie asleep, with dried tears. It breaks my heart that he has to experience this at such a young age.

"Auggie, wake up. You have school. First day in fifth grade." I said quietly, gently shaking him.

"I don't wanna!" He mumbled. I sighed. It's going to be hard but it my job that he gets the education he needs. I don't know what I'm going to do when I'm in college. My parents won't be back for a year and a half because this marriage rehab goes for that long. So, I don't know. I can't leave Auggie alone by himself when he needs me the most.

"Bubba, you have to get up. Or I won't cook waffles!" I said in a sing song voice. He jumped out of bed.

"I'm up, I'm up!" He exclaimed excitedly. I shook my head chuckling, ruffling his hair. He started getting ready so I decided to prepare his waffles like I promise I would. I made him the waffles, put whip cream and strawberries how he likes it and gave him some chocolate milk. Auggie came down and started digging in. He was chewing on his piece of waffle until he looked up and stared at me frowning.

"Riley, why aren't you eating?" He asked. I urged the feeling to wince. He was suspicious when he took notice I was never eating.

"I'm not hungry." I lied to him. I don't want him worrying about me. He's my top priority. He should worry about himself, not me.

"You are lying. I know when you are lying because you always say you aren't hungry." He retorted. I sighed quietly and putting up a forced smile. I took a piece of waffle and slipped it in my mouth, hesitating to swallow it.

"There see. I have been eating. Don't worry Bubba." I told him. He looked at me one more time then stopped eating.

"Let's just go to school!" He mumbled and grabbed his bag. I followed him out shaking my head in shame at myself. I will take care of myself later.

I walked Auggie to John Quincy Adams Elementary School. I bid him a goodbye.

"Remember, I will pick you up at school. Stay out of trouble!" I shouted to him. He probably rolled his eyes at me.

"No promises!" He shouted back and then disappeared in the crowd of kids. I walked myself to the high school. I walked in the crowded hallways. Before I go meet Zay and Farkle, I go to the bathroom. I go to the big stall with the sink and mirror. I bent over the toilet and plunged two fingers in my throat. I started gagging and all the contents poured out of me. I flushed the toilet and stated swishing some mouth wash and spit into the sink. I looked at myself in the mirror. I could hear the demons call out, calling my name.

Riley

Worthless

Slut

Ugly

Quirky

Stupid

I shook my head, trying to push them away. I got out my blade and sliced my arms. Sixteen cuts a day I make everyday. I cleaned the blood and my tears. I put the blade back into my hidden place in my backpack and started to proceed through the hallways. Missy Bradford stood upon me.

"Freak!" She exclaimed and laughed along with her and her plastic friends. I looked down, ignoring her and started to walk towards Farkle and Zay. I avoided all eye contact with Missy and her.

"Aw, she's walking away telling her mommy and daddy." Missy teased.

"Missy, enough!" I froze in my tracks as I heard the familiar voice who whispered.

"What? Maya, she is a nothing. That's why you aren't best friends anymore. You are way better than her." Missy told Maya. Farkle and Zay looked at me. I could feel a tear sliding down but I brushed it away before it could flow. I can't cry here. Not now.

"You're right!" Maya said quietly. My shoulders slumped in defeat and sadness. I was saved by the bell and I walked into Harper's class immediately. I sat in the back now. I hate being in the front. Farkle and Zay sits back here with me so I wouldn't be alone.

"Welcome back. This is your last year together as high schoolers so make it count. Today, we will start reading Cracked. It's about a girl in high school who is depressed. She self harms, anorexic, and bulimic. She gets into a fight with her friends and they spilt apart. She lost everything. She has to take care of-" I couldn't listen anymore. This was literally basically my life. I know how it goes. I'm experiencing it right now. The only question is. Who is willing to fix me?

Hey guys, I'm taking a short hiatus for New of Us. Just one comment on your comments some were good. This one comment was not acceptable as what I wrote was to teach you about the aspects of bullying. Anyways, this is called "Fix Me"

Summary:

Riley Matthews had the perfect life until that one day, all of that fell apart. She lost her best friend, first love. Her parents are alcoholics and barely funds her and her little brother. She only has two friends and she changed since freshman year. Who can fix her? Put her whole again? (Mentions of Self harm, eating disorders, and drug abuse)

I will be updating every Wednesday. :)

I hope enjoyed it. It took me a long time to write but it's worth it.

See you on December 23rd

-Jackie