The sniper woke with a start, not recognizing the place she was in, or how she got there for that matter. She sat up in panic, reaching for her gun – which was wasn't at her thigh and further worried her – as she looked around in the lavishly decorated, gold and brown themed room. It was huge, equipped with a king size bed and what seemed like a Jacuzzi out on the balcony through the large glass doors. The sudden movement quickly registered in her throbbing head. Right… last night, the wedding reception that they snuck into. They drank way, way too much. Her feet hurt too from all that dancing. Five inch heels were truly not meant to be worn into the wee hours of the morning.

Beside her Roy was snoozing on his back with a light snore. Not an ideal situation to wake up to. Looking down on herself she noted that they were both still fully dressed, only his tie loosened around his neck. Thank heavens for small victories. She would have never lived it down if they had actually had sex with each other.

On the bedside table she spotted her gun holster that she missed just earlier. As she reached for it, something shiny caught her eye on her finger. Her ring finger to be exact. What the actual hell?

Hawkeye jumped out of bed and as she did so, rose petals and a bunch of Polaroid pictures scattered onto the floor from the blanket. No, no, no… – she thought with a hand pressed to her mouth, her face paling and a sheen of sweat breaking out on her forehead. Was this…? No, it couldn't be. However much this might have been her teenage fantasy… Everything they had worked for would be ruined. Because of a wild night out. A momentary lapse in judgement. Well, that was exactly how things usually got derailed.

As she picked one up her worst suspicions came to life. For all intents and purposes they seemed like wedding pictures. Of the two of them. Glancing around the room again the realization hit her. This was very much like a honeymoon suite in some hotel.

Okay, think! Don't lose your head! Finding her mental capacities, the lieutenant launched into action, clipping her gun onto her leg, putting on her earrings and bracelet, but not finding her hairpiece. Dammit, that was expensive. They must locate it to return to the queen. She made her way over to the other side of the bed to wake the colonel up.

"Sir!" – she called, shaking his shoulder, but he didn't respond. So she threw the glass of water that was on the bedside table in his face.

"W-what happened?" – Roy sat up startled, spluttering, his fingers ready to snap, but fortunately his gloves weren't on. They were safely in his coat pocket. Probably.

"We have a problem, Sir." – Hawkeye stated in a dangerous tone that Mustang knew instantly to pay attention to. Glancing around he too assessed the state and place they were in.

"We didn't? Did we?" – the alchemist asked in horror.

"If by what we did or didn't do, you mean did we get married, I bloody hope not!" – Riza exclaimed in a tizzy – something absolutely uncharacteristic of the usually calm and collected sniper – showing her finger with the ring to him.

At first Roy managed to sigh in relief – because that wasn't what ran through his errant mind earlier much like his adjutant's but she wasn't going to admit that – only now realizing that neither of them were undressed. The cocking of the lieutenant's handgun told him that was absolutely not the response she was looking for. Warily he looked down on his hand and noticed the band around his finger too. For a split second he wished it to be real, whatever they had done, but they had other things to worry about at the moment.

"You don't remember either, do you Lieutenant?" – he asked after a few seconds, at which Hawkeye defeatedly lowered her gun and sat down on the bed by his side.

"We snuck into a wedding. Lots of alcohol was involved, that's for sure. And then… I don't really know." – she sighed, rubbing her temples. What a nightmare.

Mustang tried thinking really hard, got up from his place and began pacing the room, coming up on the pictures himself. He picked them all up and placed them onto the bed, arranging and rearranging their order, trying to establish a timeline based on them.

"Here is my theory. We somehow managed to convince the priest officiating the nuptials to marry us too. I probably transmuted your clip into the rings, given that it's missing from the pictures from around halfway through. Then checked into a hotel room." – Roy gave his assessment, shifting from his couching position by the bed to standing.

"What name did we use at the reception?" – Riza snapped her head up. This might be the one factor that could possibly trip them up if someone investigated a potential fraternization while on mission, that could be – beyond a doubt – traced back to them.

"One way to find out." – Mustang reached for the phone and dialed the front desk.

"Arriotte Concierge, how may I help you?" – a very pleasant male voice answered. At least they knew now which hotel they were in. Of course, the logos on the little bars of soap in the en suite or the brochures in the bedside table drawer would have been a dead giveaway too but they hadn't been able to think of that yet. A vicious hangover could hinder even the best of us.

"Hi, I was wondering if we could order room service for breakfast. Maybe with a couple of aspirins on the side, or anything that you could recommend for a hangover." – the colonel inquired swiftly, while his adjutant facepalmed herself at his brash idea. He really didn't think this one through. Please let there be a switch board downstairs that told the receptionist exactly which room they were called from so that she didn't have to go take a look at the door outside. And let this be a fancy enough hotel that from the room number they would know exactly which guest they were talking to. On second thought, let it not be… those that had this level of service were usually very expensive and there was no way in hell they were putting this on any kind of expense report. If nothing else they were going to find out the info from the bill at check out.

"Most certainly Mr. Hughes." – as the man uttered the name both soldiers had to fight a snort back, coughing to mask it. – "There is a breakfast menu in your drawer. What would like to order?"

"Eggs and bacon are fine, with orange juice." – Roy managed to get out.

"Alright, Sir, your room service order of eggs and bacon, orange juice and painkillers for two will be up at room 609 in about half an hour." – the concierge affirmed the request. Now they knew their room number too. On this particular morning, really every little detail they managed to get without further complications was a win.

In a way, masquerading as his best friend and his wife might have ingenious, both men were black-haired and both women blonde even if different shades of it, but oh boy if this ever got back to Maes.

"Thank you." – Mustang replied then hung up the phone.

"Sir, you are an idiot." – Riza emphasized that statement with a forceful exhale of breath she didn't even realize she was holding until now. – "I'm going to go clean myself up. Until then…" – she paused to take off the ring, now recognizing that it really did come from her hairclip, the three diamonds embedded in it the same in size and form. – "Dispose of the evidence without setting the fire alarm off, and transmute those back into the hairpiece. I'm sure from the pictures you will know how it looked like." – the sniper threw the ring at him and stalked off to the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind herself.

Roy checked his coat pockets and sure enough his ignition cloth gloves were there, safe and sound. That is until he noticed that one of them – instead of his flame alchemy array – was stitched with a 'Just married' sign. He also managed to find a piece of paper that had the metal manipulating transmutation circle drawn up on it that he had used in the evening to make the wedding bands. But that was not all, in his other pocket there was an official looking document – a wedding certificate – folded in half from which another picture slipped out.

It must have been taken before their rouge idea. They were both holding up a glass of champagne for a toast, looking absolutely delighted, clip still in place, no wedding rings. So innocent looking, it might as well had been taken at the royal party. He quickly stuffed it back into his pocket for keeping. For happy memories' sake.

The flushing of the toilet could be heard through the door so Mustang quickly brought himself out of his reverie, taking his own ring off too and promptly transmuting the hairclip back first, then gathering all the flammable "evidence" – his modified glove too – into a metal bowl that held fruits just a moment ago, right as Riza reemerged.

"Here." – with a solemn look on his face he handed the hairpiece back to her, which she put on immediately.

"Is that what I think it is?" – she asked, noticing the larger piece of paper, taking it for examination. It held their real names alright. – "Do you believe it's legitimate?"

"In Amestris? Probably not, especially since we didn't have our birth certificates with us for the ceremony, nor was the intent of marriage priorly registered with the right authorities, but here, I'm not sure." – the colonel offered his opinion, but he wasn't an expert on the matter. Hawkeye just nodded, placing the sheet back along with the rest of the stuff.

Stepping out onto the spacious balcony Roy smirked for a moment.

"Shame we didn't get to use that, huh?" – he quipped as he took note of the hot tub. Riza slapped him really hard on his shoulder in response.

Placing the bowl down on the tiles he snapped his fingers, incinerating its contents, carefully manipulating the flames so that no pieces of paper or film escaped or remained recognizable. Moments later all that remained was ash that a gush of wind picked up and carried off towards the lake their room overlooked.

"We are never speaking of this night to anyone, ever, not even between each other when we think we are alone, Sir. We can't jeopardize your goals." – his adjutant declared as she took the basin and made her way to bathroom to clean it up. Roy just nodded with a severe expression, following her in with his hands stuffed into his pants pockets, glancing back over his shoulder mournfully towards the direction the wind carried off the remains of his transmutation.

While she was busy in the en suite there was a knock at the door and she quickly handed the dish off to Mustang to dry and to place the fruits back in, while with gun in hand she checked who it was through the peephole.

"Room service!" – the female outside announced with a second knock, and sure enough there was a cart in front of her with their food on it.

The sniper signaled Roy to stay out of sight so that they were not seen together (even if that was too little too late, you never knew) and opened the door to a small crack carefully, her gun hidden behind it for now, but ready to be used at a moment's notice if the situation called for it.

"Where should I put it, ma'am?" – the ginger haired maid asked sweetly.

"Thank you, just leave the cart." – the lieutenant requested, but given the puzzled expression of the hotel employee, she continued. – "My husband is indecent at the moment." – she said with a fake bashful smile. The girl just nodded knowingly and left. She could see a large tip in her future for when she returned for the tray.

Riza wheeled it in a moment later, locking the door behind herself, reaching for the aspirin and the orange juice immediately. Her head was absolutely killing her.

"Indecent, and your husband. I could get used to that." – the colonel joked, only to find himself with a gun trained right between his eyes, Hawkeye never pausing in her drinking.

"What did we just agree to earlier, Sir?" – she inquired in an eerily calm tone when was finished with her juice.

"Right, not mentioning it ever again." – Roy gulped nervously with his hands in the air.

"Good. Eat up, then we are leaving the hotel separately. I will sneak out through the employee exit in the back with an excuse, while you go down and pay for the room in half an hour and take the front entrance. Have a walk through the city before returning to the palace. My excuse will be that I was taking a stroll on the beach and fell asleep there on one of the benches. On my way back I will make sure to go that way to leave footprints and evidence indicating that. You wandered out to the city from the ball and ended up in a bar. You were bummed by Elsa's rejection if anyone wonders why." – she disclosed her plan, her mind already feeling a lot clearer even if the painkillers couldn't possibly have started working yet.

The sniper quickly ate her portion of the food and left without another word. Mustang just sat there dumbfounded. Don't get me wrong, he was very grateful for the quick thinking of his adjutant, but the cold calculating way she handled the situation had left him feeling a bit bereft.

Not to mention the 30 000 cenz bill that waited for him at reception. Briefly he toyed with the idea of sending it to the real Mr. Hughes, but thinking better of it just settled it in cash on the spot. There must really have been some kind of heavenly guidance involved, because not only he had his wallet on him, but he withdrew a larger amount from the bank just a day before their orders came in, and hadn't had a chance to spend it yet. Until now that is.

There was only one small detail neither of them managed to think of while running their contingencies. And that was Madame Christmas and her information – excuse me, more like spy – network.

Their farewells from Arendelle were rather uneventful – well if you didn't count the moment Hans was dragged onto a ship in cuffs as an event which they certainly didn't even if he was still throwing angry nonsense at them – just as their stop at Briggs. By some miracle the ice palace wasn't ordered to be torn down, so the Flame Alchemist was content with just leaving it like that. Olivier had already gotten whatever insults she had out of her system the day before, so they managed to get the remainder of their stuff without heated words being thrown at them – well mostly at Mustang – and they were also able to catch the afternoon supply train returning to Central from North City just in time.

Hawkeye was really quiet on the ride, but then again she was never one for unnecessary words, and seemed otherwise her usual, unfazed self. Roy on the other hand… couldn't help but stare out the window with a deep frown on his face.

"Boss, don't be so down. I'm sure another queen will come around that you can woo." – Havoc joked at one point trying to cheer him up with a laugh.

Pretty much his whole team witnessed his less than elegant washout with Elsa, so there wasn't even a need to drop that excuse as to why he disappeared from the party, only Fuery seemed out of the loop, snapping his head between Jean and Mustang, trying to make sense of that comment. How could he have read a woman so inaccurately? But alas that was not what was bothering him at all. And the phrasing his subordinate used only brought it forefront even more for him. He regarded the members of his team as chess pieces, each of them with a specific role and purpose to an end game. And his ace figure? His queen? Well, that was Riza Hawkeye.

"How's Marie?" – was all the raven-haired alchemist had to say sardonically to shut his knight up, so that he could brood in silence for the rest of the way, thinking of the Polaroid that now moved to his uniform pocket from his suit jacket.

Their train pulled into Central just before sunset. They had to switch lines here, since this one terminated at the capital city, but just as they disembarked a private came up to them.

"Colonel Mustang? Führer Bradley was informed that you'd be on this train and your presence is requested at his office." – the young soldier snapped himself into a stiff salute.

"At ease, Private. Do you happen to know what this is about? Our train leaves in two hours, will we make it back by then or should my team make arrangements for us to stay in the city?" – the colonel inquired, wondering what this could be about. Hopefully not a reprimand for how he handled the situation up north.

"I'm sorry, Sir, but I wasn't read in." – the private shook his head apologetically.

"Lieutenant, book everyone a hotel room, just in case. I'll get back to you, once I know more." – Mustang gave his orders to his adjutant, almost cringing at the hotel part.

Roy had a sense of déjà vu as he strolled through Central HQ to King Bradley's office. Being called into the 'principal's' on such short notice again. Only this time on a larger scale, as if his earlier run in with Grumman was only a meeting the dean of the faculty, and now the rector of the university wanted to have a word with him.

Despite the late hour the Führer's assistant was all smiles as she showed him in.

"Sir!" – he stopped right at the door and saluted the highest ranking man in the country.

"At ease, Mustang." – Bradley smiled at him jovially, walking around his desk with his hands behind his back. – "Good job with the handling of the border dispute."

"Thank you, Sir." – the colonel replied with a bit of relief.

"Your next mission is of similar nature, I'm afraid." – the Führer handed a case file that he had been holding over to the soldier.

"The Freezing Alchemist? Really? He's here?" – Roy incredulously replied as he noted the name 'Isaac McDougal' on the front.

"We have information that he managed to slip into Central a few days ago. That's why I've summoned you here, Colonel. I need you and your men to smoke him out and bring him in." – the man with the eye-patch explained as he stood before the huge map of the country on the wall.

"Consider it done, Sir!" – the Flame Alchemist affirmed.

"I'm glad you were in Central at this time, Mustang. It's good to know I have people here I can count on." – the Führer assessed with comfort.

"Sir!" – Roy acknowledged the compliment with a little bow of his head, about to leave when Bradley halted him.

"Ah, one last thing. Our rising young star is here as well. You are free to utilize him as well." – he added with a knowing smirk. Ed is here? I think I'll just forewarn the cleanup crew… I see a lot of rubble in our future. But it seemed the Führer was thinking the same and didn't mind.

"Forgive me, Führer Bradley, but... just to be clear, are you referring to...?" – Mustang asked just to make sure.

"I am. The Fullmetal Alchemist, Edward Elric." – the first person of the country stated.

The colonel saluted once more and left with the files in hand to acquire a temporary office for themselves and to give a call to the station to inform his team that they were needed in HQ too. But internally he just wanted to scream: What is it with freaking ice alchemists?

Meanwhile he had to round up the little red runt too for a briefing. Unsurprisingly a call to the First Branch of the library took care of that. Ed was way too predictable.

In more ways than one. When she showed up all he got was attitude and Mustang would have bet the bottom line of the hotel bill that she wasn't listening to half of what he had said about the Freezing Alchemist.

A mere hour later on a rooftop overlooking the city Edeline sat with Al, clearly disgruntled at the turn of events. She had found some interesting reports in the archives regarding a few incidents that – in her professional opinion, which let's be honest, meant a bunch in regards to alchemy – involved the Philosopher's Stone, and she was itching to check it out as soon as possible.

"God damn it! The Colonel's never gonna let us outta here, is he?" – the young alchemist voiced her grievances to her younger brother. Freaking slave driver…

"We already bought our tickets for Liore too. Does this mean we're not going?" – the suit of armor at her side asked softly.

"I don't know, Al... for now, let's just get this over with quickly, okay?" – Ed sighed, standing up to have a better view of their surroundings and chance at spotting the rouge alchemist or the telltale signs of transmutations.

"Lead the way, Brother." – Al agreed, defaulting to their cover since there were people walking on the street below them.

And the rest is history…

Omakes

Two days later, after the excitement of Isaac McDougal died down, Roy decided to pay his respects to his aunt. He had a blossoming head cold due to either their trip to the snowy mountain tops or being drenched in ice cold water the day before, and there was nothing better than a few spirits to cure it.

"Madame Christmas." – he lifted his hat as he sat down by the bar.

"Roy-Boy. Heard you handled two ice alchemists in the span of a week." – the older woman remarked with her whiskey and cigarette refined voice as she placed his usual order in front of her nephew.

"What can I say? When Central is threatened by an ice age, call the Flame Alchemist to melt some hearts and hopefully the city too." – Mustang quipped sarcastically with a sour smirk at his whiskey. Chris leaned in closer to him over the counter so that they wouldn't be overheard and began speaking just as the colonel downed his drink.

"I also heard someone else's heart got melted too. So when are you going to introduce me to the lucky bride?" – and with that Roy almost choked on the gulp that was in his mouth, spluttering the contents to his side.

"Hey! That's a fine single malt scotch, don't waste it." – the Madame snorted with mirth at his reaction.

Unbeknownst to Mustang, while he was out, Maes was snooping around in his temporary office. Being an intelligence officer had its perks, sometimes getting information through the grape vine that otherwise would be inaccessible through the official channels. Like hearing of a rumor that he was supposedly vacationing in a hotel's honeymoon suite in Arendelle with his wife. He wished. But as it so happened he knew one person who might have been inclined to use a fake name if he wanted to hide something. He was right in his office.

In an inner pocket of Roy's uniform jacket – that he had so carelessly left in his office – the family man stumbled upon something that he wouldn't have dreamed of in his wildest dreams. A photograph. He knew both people that were depicted on it. And he had never seen either of them happier than in that moment. He quickly made a copy of it and returned the original to its place to avoid suspicion. Hughes could already hear the wedding bells ringing… Oh, the fun he was going to have with this.

If only he knew...

Arendelle being a small monarchy, a copy of all official documents regarding her subjects came before the queen for signing to make them valid before filing them in their archives. Birth, death… wedding certificates. On this particular evening, working at her desk in her chambers given the late hour, Elsa was looking at a specific document that she couldn't believe to be in existence with wide-eyes. Especially because the people involved weren't even Arendelle citizens. Let's just put this in the drawer for now. She had a letter to be written, preferably in code to inquire what the people in question wanted her to do with it.

Something had been bothering her in the last few days. She got up from her place and walked over to her dresser table and picked up a hairpiece. It was slightly different than she remembered, the diamonds just a bit out of place. She wondered... there might be just enough material in it for a skilled alchemist to make two thin wedding bands, the bride's having three diamonds in them.