Disclaimer: The Librarians do not belong to me but belong to their respective owners: TNT, Dean Devlin, etc.

Warnings: Spoilers for The Librarians episode 2.08, The Point of Salvation.

A/N: First published fanfic in a long time, so I apologize for any mistakes/unreadableness. I tried and I think I did ok but I hope you like it! Also my first published Librarians fic too. I wrote another interpretation of this episode but it needs more editing before I publish it online.

This is just a one shot because I really want to focus more on his emotions about the entire thing.

There are so many ways, so many fic variations, that could be written for this one episode alone. Did he remember, did he forget, did he remember it all at once, or slowly? But if I tried to fully flesh it out as a longer thing (where the others catch on and help him cope) there's a possibility of future canon clashing. That may not seem like a big problem but it's something I had to deal with in the Harry Potter fandom so I just don't want to repeat that.

These fics are partly inspired by tumblr viewers' comments/meta but also some of their observations. To the one who said that he must not have forgotten everything and must have been pretending when he said "we're what's?" this is for you.

SAVIOR

He remembers.

Not everything and not all at once.

It comes in snippets and snatches, remembers everyone and the Library and everything up til that day.

It gets blurry after that.

When they speak of a hero, of a decent person, of a total badass, he shrugs, remembering parts of that last loop. Of being able to save them, of bypassing rooms through the top, of throwing the grenades under their feet.

He vaguely remembers the weightlessness of free fall, fast, tumbling, and heavy yet floating all at once.

But in dreams, the truth gets out. One by one, he remembers various loops - loops filled with failure, pain, and tragedy, filled with screams and ripping flesh and sometimes blood.

They died, in so many different ways.

But it lead to the same thing: death each time.

He could hear the frantic sound of Cassie repeating there are no consequences, this isn't real, over and over and Ezekiel has to keep reminding himself of the same when he wakes up.

The more the days pass from the incident, the more he remembers. Remembers why he trapped them in a room to save them, to make sure he figured out every trap. Remembers why he allowed himself to feel being ripped apart. Remembers feeling helpless, trapped, lost at not being able to help, to get them out alive.

But not all the dreams are bad. At least, that's what he tells himself.

The things that keep him sane are the things that make him realize why he wanted to protect them.

He cherishes all the things he learns from them. From the practical skills and knowledge (fighting, physics, engineering) to all the stories and pieces of themselves they revealed to him. They keep him sane, whole.

These were treasures he could never be able to steal; these were gifts given to him more precious than any other ancient, powerful, magical artifact they are sent to find.

No.

So he remembers. He remembers to laugh at their jokes, at their witty zingers, at all the mannerisms he associates with them. He remembers to breathe, remembers to touch or seek out their presence, to know they're alive and well in this moment.

Mostly, he just bears the memories with him. To continue to protect them.

Because he'll save them.

He always does.