If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

~Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol

The wedding was happening the next day; it had always seemed so far away and it was now just one night away. Sherlock hadn't meant to call John and insist he came over-a moment of weakness had swept over to him-soon John would be sitting next to him, concerned as to why he was needed.

Sherlock always needed John, whenever he told John this John would smile and tell him it it was mutual. When John finally showed up he hung up his coat and settled onto the couch next to Sherlock. It seemed like John had been expecting this; Sherlock didn't know whether he should be touched or offended. He decided not to worry about it and focused only on John, who was talking softly though Sherlock found himself unable to focus.

"Why her?" Sherlock whispered. John stopped talking and looked at Sherlock-they had already had this conversation.

"Because you were dead, I grieved and then I found someone who helped get me out of that dark place," John said softly, placing his hand on Sherlock's mouth to keep him from interrupting. "I loved you more than anything, and you just left me alone and grieving."

John kept his eyes trained on Sherlock, who was watching John as if he was waiting for a different answer. There would never be a different answer-that was not the kind of man that John Watson was. Sherlock was surprised when John leaned in and brushed his lips across Sherlock's. For a moment Sherlock debated pulling away and telling him he didn't get to do such things if he was going to stay with Mary, but he couldn't. He gave into John and kissed him passionately, hoping John understood what this moment meant to him.

John's hands tangled in Sherlock's dark curls and Sherlock moaned into the kiss. John kept trying to pick up the pace and hurry them along, but Sherlock stopped him. Finally he broke the kiss and cupped John's cheek.

"If this is our last night together then please don't rush it," Sherlock whispered. John nodded, unable to concentrate on anything but how vulnerable the detective sounded. They began kissing again and John stopped trying to rush things.

They lay in Sherlock's bed later that night, naked and tangled together in the sheets. Their clothes were trailed throughout the flat, ending in the bedroom. John had dozed off but Sherlock was wide awake, his head on John's chest.

"Stay with me, John. Don't get married tomorrow to someone that isn't me," Sherlock whispered. He looked up and saw John was watching him. Sherlock could tell he was deep in thought, so he waited patiently and hoped John said yes.

"Sherlock, I-" but his reply died in his throat.

"Will you tell her? About all the nights you've spent with me? Not just this one, but what about all the other nights when she thought we were working a case?" Sherlock asked. There was no malice in his voice, only curiosity. What did he mean to John, and for how long would they be able to keep this up?

"It's not that simple, Sherlock." John sat up and looked down at Sherlock pleadingly.

"Yes it is, either you want to be with her and her alone or with me. I will not just be someone you have on the side of your marriage. Mary deserves better than that," Sherlock said. "I deserve better than that."

John nodded and laid back down. He pulled Sherlock close and began kissing him, trying to stop this conversation from happening. He did manage to stall it for another hour, but after they made love again Sherlock was only more adamant that John had to choose.

"I can't watch you marry someone else. I gave myself to you a long time ago, something I have never done before, and you keep taking advantage of it. I will never be able to say no to you, John, even if I knew that I should. So you can marry her and keep fucking me on the side if that is what you want, but have you stopped to think about what I want?"

John was silent for a long time, and Sherlock began to worry that he had scared John off. He hadn't meant for that, all he wanted was for John to make a decision. And eventually he did, but it was hours later, soft kisses and murmured words of love that finally got him to decide.

John felt guilty about what he did to Mary for a long time after calling off the wedding. That morning John and Sherlock had gone to see Mary, taking her by surprise. When John began to explain to her how great she was and that he truly cared for her she looked at Sherlock and simply shook her head.

"You're leaving me for him?" Mary asked, her eyes still trained on Sherlock who was struggling to hold her gaze. Finally she looked at John who sighed and then nodded. He dropped Mary's hands and stood up, walking over to Sherlock. Everything that happened after that was predictable, and Sherlock tried not to watch as Mary threw accusations at the two of them. Finally she stopped shouting and stood in front of Sherlock.

"Mary, I am sorry for all of the pain I have caused you," Sherlock whispered. For a moment he thought she would slap him, but she finally just asked them to leave, telling John he could collect his things later.

When the guilt had receded Sherlock felt it was finally time for them to start a new chapter, and he began planning with the help of Mrs. Hudson, Molly and Lestrade. John remained oblivious as usual, something that made Sherlock feel even more fond of John (if that was even possible).

After two months of planning Sherlock sat down in the chair across from John, setting a small box on the armrest of John's chair. John frowned, then picked it up and opened it. Nestled inside were two identical white gold bands.

"I have arranged for a small ceremony and then dinner afterwards with Mrs. Hudson, Molly, Lestrade, my parents and Mycroft. I didn't want to invite my parents and Mycroft since they always make such a big fuss over these kinds of things, but Mrs. Hudson was very insistent they would want to be there. I wanted to surprise you," Sherlock stated. John chuckled and then stood up so he could kiss Sherlock.

"When?" John asked after they pulled apart.

"Tomorrow."

"Sounds perfect."

A/N: Hope you all liked it! I've always tried to avoid writing anything that deals with Mary and the wedding, but this idea just wouldn't go away.