Long Road's End

So, am I saving myself? Or killing myself?

John didn't know. As he sat outside Skynet's Los Angeles facility, as he watched the sun slowly rise in the east, casting its glow over the ruins of Man, General John Connor, leader of the Resistance, Warrior-Prophet/Warrior-Messiah, Nemesis of Skynet, and a whole bunch of other titles he didn't care for, knew only one thing – he needed a beer.

Something that was in short supply these days, a status quo that had been true for over two decades, and could be said for pretty much anything the Resistance needed or desired. But at least now, that could change. Skynet had been shut down, and through it, every Terminator, Hunter-Killer, and other form of killing machine it had employed. Mankind was back in the position where it controlled machines, and not the other way round. And in this brave new world that was meant to be just like the one that had existed prior to 1997, he was in a position to ensure that he could get a bloody beer.

"General."

He looked over at Perry, having flown in from NORAD, now a smoking husk that would forever be remembered as the place where Skynet had been born, and the place where it had died. The captain wasn't needed here after his victory – flying him and his command staff over was a luxury, plain and simple. A luxury he wasn't sure could be afforded given how scarce fuel was.

"Captain."

But that said, still a victory. And with Reese gone, the number of people he could call actual friends had been reduced to the fingers of one hand.

"Is it true?" Perry asked.

"Is what true?"

"You know, the rumours." Perry leant over. "The…stuff."

"What, that Skynet sent a T-800 back to 1984 to kill my mother? That I sent Sergeant Kyle Reese to intercept it to preserve the timeline and my own existence? That even if Reese succeeds, I've effectively signed his death warrant?"

"I wouldn't go so far as to say that, but-"

"Well I did," John said, wishing now for nothing more than solitude. And a bloody beer. "I did all that. And I would go that far Captain. If Reese saves my mother, if he survives Judgement Day, then he still has to go through the same war twice." He sighed. "Is anyone that good? Could anyone survive Skynet twice?"

"Reese could."

John smiled – he could tell that Perry actually believed it. And was taking the whole "time travel to preserve the past and save the future" thing quite well.

And what if he knew it all?

What if Perry had been down there, watching as Reese floated upwards in the time displacement sphere? What if he'd seen Reese, for a moment, look like an angel, sent by time through God to save his erstwhile children? What if he knew what John did – that this had to happen? That he knew he was signing Kyle Reese's death warrant, because Kyle Reese was his father, and his mother had told him what happened? That John Connor was Skynet's son as much as anyone else's, and he'd grown up knowing that he'd one day lead the human race to commit patricide on both his fathers?

I really need that beer.

He made a mental note to ask Kate about it. Beer, water, whatever. He didn't just want beer, he wanted sleep. Wanted to let this all out to the one person he trusted above anyone else. And to let loose his fears as well.

"But it's over," Perry said. "I mean, really, finally, over."

"Far as we know, yes."

"But-"

"Treat it as a victory Captain. Even if you're going to be disappointed later."

"Right." Perry smirked, and looked over to a group of soldiers, currently playing keep-away with a T-800's skull. "I'll, er, prepare for disappointment."

For the first time in what felt like ages, John smiled. "You do that."

Perry walked off. And the smile faded.

So rumours had already spread of Reese's sacrifice. That Skynet had played its last, desperate hand, and humanity had countered by inserting a joker into the pack. Rumours, John knew, took on a life of their own. And he'd accept it. He'd accepted that this would happen his entire life. As he'd said to Reese, this was where the road for him ended.

And what of the road not taken?

How long until more rumours spread? How long before it was blurted out that a second time displacement sphere had been discovered? That Skynet's desperate hand had played two cards. The second being a T-1000 sent back to 1995 to kill John Connor himself?

They'll never know.

They might about the event, but not how John felt. This wasn't meant to happen. His mother had never told him about this. And he'd reacted by ordering his techs to reprogram a T-800 with the hopes it would stay true to its new programming, follow his younger self's orders, and not kill the very boy he was trying to save. He'd told Reese that his mother would be weak, and need protecting. He'd offered no advice for how to deal with his ten year old self. Heck, it was even the same model – how would his mother react to seeing the face of her former foe?

And a T-1000 in the mix.

It was flattering, really, that Skynet had been so desperate that it had played the most advanced model of Terminator that existed in its final hand. And terrifying as well. Infiltrator T-800s were terrifying, but manageable. T-1000s…they weren't even human. Well, no Terminator was, but at least they could fucking bleed.

John recalled the T-800's last movements. Kneeling down, without fear, concern, or any form of emotion. If Reese had risen like an angel, the T-800 was more like a golem. Emotionless. Hard. Ready to be moulded by its master.

But it's over.

He had to believe that. Had to believe that when the whole place was blown, there were no more cards in Skynet's deck. That the game had ended. And that games of another kind could be played.

Games like keep-away. Games that John could join in. Like he did just now, to the cheering of those under his command. Games he could play without knowing the outcome years in advance.

And maybe games that involved getting a bloody beer.

A/N

I've seen many theories about the nature of timelines in the Terminator series, and there's the idea that Reese being John's father isn't a paradox, but rather altering history. That John originally had a separate father, JD occurs much later, John sends Reese back to face the T-800, Reese becomes his new father, and a casual loop is established. I have mixed feelings about this, but one thing I saw Genisys do was lend fuel to an idea that I've had for a long time - that Terminator 2 is the point where the timelines are really shaken up, given how obstensibly Judgement Day is negated/postponed/whatever. John maintains in Genisys that the T-800 being sent to 1984 was where his knowledge ended, so either he was lying about not knowing that the T-1000 would be sent to 1995 as a secondary attempt, or that he genuinely doesn't know. Because clearly the John in Genisys hasn't experienced the events of Terminator 3 or Salvation, so, yeah. The films depict the timeline being altered by T2, whereas T1 shows the casual loop, or the establishment of a new timeline by Reese's very presence (which apparently alters his memories in the original film as well, as he must have told Sarah that JD would occur in 1995 rather than a hypothetical later date when he wasn't John's father).

Anyway, decided to dabble with the idea of the original timeline John actually getting a victory in 2029 after both Terminators went back through time. Figured he deserves it.