A/N: Go thank quite-a-riot for this. She's been kicking my ass all summer long to update.

Hangover

Think there's something wrong with my heart.

Feels like it's been taken apart,

Left out with the junk in the street.

I don't know what happened to me.

Lucy smiled to herself as she hummed along with the mellow beat. If Brandish wasn't going to use those new speakers, she sure as hell wasn't going to pass them up. Plus, her roommate was in Crocus again, so it wasn't like she'd ever know. Everybody needed homework breaks right? Hell yeah.

GETTING HIGHER THAN A MOTHERFUCKER

Feel like life is passing me by,

Oh Lord.

She'd never been a fan of hip hop really. Just didn't really appeal to her. But the playlist Natsu had sent her on Soundcloud had happy memories for her; Natsu had played this particular playlist in the background while they hung out over break. Her slight smile widened. That was one seriously great winter break. She turned up the volume. No time like the present to say a little indirect hi there to her neighbors.

Six in the morning, I'm still going, I don't wanna come down from my high,

Oh Lord.

Closing her eyes she just sat back to the music, her laptop in her lap. Maybe she had just been listening to the wrong kind of hip hop. This was pretty damn good.

Floating, flying, I'm just tryna get away from all the shit on my mind,

Oh Lord.

This wasn't the first time something like this had happened. Recently, she seemed to be doing and liking a lot of things she previously hadn't…most of which were mysteriously connected to Natsu. Her go-to playlist was almost five hours long now. She really needed to divvy that up, but just couldn't seem to keep up with Natsu's suggestions. And don't even get her started on the little yet-to-watch list she had in her head. She had too many TV shows pinned on Netflix to count. She could probably watch two a day and still not be done before graduation.

Wishing I could take a pill to erase the bullshit that I got in my life,

Oh Lord.

The lyrics were explicit – rap and suggested by Natsu? With explicit language? Oh man she surely hadn't expected that. Yet the downtempo beat combined with the ambient female vocals created a contrast that had her ears tingling and chills running down her spine. Definitely a good pick on Natsu's part. He was well on his way to converting her.

Now if only Natsu would actually pick up a book or two the way she did. That would likely do everyone a favor.

She chuckled at the thought.

Her hazel eyes darting to the lower right of her laptop's screen, Lucy realized she still had a couple or so hours until Natsu actually needed help in cooking whatever the heck it was he decided to serve them during dinner. He was pretty excited over the phone so she assumed things would work out alright… hopefully. Then again you never knew with him. It might just turn out to be something explosive when all was said and done.

A mixture between a giggle and a sigh left her lips at that.

Lucy turned back to her laptop and glared at the opened word document in front of her. No, she was seriously done with homework for the day. All of these business laws could go screw themselves into chlamydia – Gods only knew how she wished FTU wasn't a liberal arts university. She understood the appeal, but the fact that it didn't offer any other relevant-ish courses was close to murdering her.

Thus she turned to Facebook. Shocking.

She scrolled through her news feed, occasionally stopping to giggle at a meme or two shared by either Natsu or Erik, sometimes letting her eyes glaze over some events that were happening in her area, things like that. Knowing what was going on around one's self never hurt anybody, she figured.

Then she momentarily stopped on a post by FTU's Basketball Team, the admin having shared an edited design used to advertise their upcoming match up. It was a picture of both Fairy Tail and Sabertooth's teams, five players each in different corners of the picture, with a snarling Natsu and some cocky-looking blond from Sabertooth's team being the highlight of the ad.

The picture had gotten tons of likes. Even judging by what she was used to seeing. Now that the post-season was gradually arriving, the hits the group got had been increasing. The fact that this one post got thrice the attention their posts usually got made it painfully obvious that this was the match everyone was looking forward to seeing.

The finals before the finals, if you would.

Something suddenly occurred to her, and she clicked on FTU's group. Her brows furrowed slightly as she went into detective mode – because of course she wouldn't call it stalker mode – and scrolled down. Down, and down, and down. So much so that her laptop had starting lagging just a bit. Holy shit this group was the epitome of activity. Someone clearly had too much time on their hands.

Until she finally found what she was looking for. Granted, she had to sift through an ungodly amount of posts, but she finally found it. A post dated November 15th, 2015. Last year. Posted by none other than Flare Corona. Lucy very quickly assumed that was just before she did what she did to Natsu. The thought still made her stomach churn each time the pinket's words replayed in her mind. But it still didn't sit right with her. It just didn't make any sense. Thus, feeling curiosity and the need to get to the bottom of things gnawing at the back of her head, she clicked on Flare's name.

Her excitement was quickly squashed when she realized the profile was private. Great.

A frustrated breath left the blonde's mouth as she crashed against the backrest of her sofa, her eyes glaring at her laptop screen. She checked the time again; okay, half an hour was already gone and she hadn't really accomplished anything. Neither in her homework nor 'detective' work. Things still didn't sit right with her. Why would Flare do something so utterly out of this world, completely randomly, and then just disappear right before her graduation? Much less with Natsu's brother, a person who was out to get him in the first place? Ends weren't meeting, and it made her bite her lower lip with some agitation.

Lucy didn't like not knowing things; it was a small part of the reason why she left her father in the first place.

Annoyed, the female grabbed her phone and punched in a text.

Natsu missed Erik.

He really, really did.

And now that he was out here in whatever supermarket this was, that certain realization became like that fiftieth annoying zit on a pubescent kid's face: the world was just so fucked up and unfair. Better go whine on Tumblr.

Like what in the fifty shades of fuck was he even supposed to be buying?

It wasn't like Natsu didn't know how to cook. He lived a good while by himself, and while nowadays he'd usually get take-out or just eat whatever Erik decided was going to be their meal for the day, he used to be self-sufficient and make his own meals. Now he realized how utterly pampered he'd become. With his cook gone he didn't know what the fuck to do anymore.

His gaze momentarily locked on instant-noodles, the temptation in his gut too real for his liking.

See what I mean? Pampered as fuck.

His shopping cart was as empty as it was when he entered the damn place about an hour ago. Holy fucking Mavis fucking Vermillion why was this being so difficult? And yes the double fucking was necessary.

You'd think making dinner would be easier than this. But nooooooo. He had to be an indecisive cuck about it.

When the hell had he grown a boy pussy? Fuck.

By the end of his pissed off mini breakdown Natsu hunched over his cart, his elbows on the bar.

Okay. Think, Natsu. Think.

He pulled out his phone; a good place to start would be to decide what the hell he was going to be making in the first place. He could practically feel Lucy facepalming in her apartment right now, almost as though they were connected somehow. A momentary image of him drawing a dragon or whatever on himself appeared in his mind, that very same drawing appearing on Lucy's body before she sent him a half-naked picture of herself. Oh the things he would do to that booty… that was some kinky shit, he couldn't lie.

ANYWAY.

Five minutes later a rough sigh left him. He couldn't decide. It was like he'd become a woman trying to pick where to go out for lunch – the decision just didn't happen. Not fucking ever.

As such the thought process of fuck it overtook the pinket as he pocketed his phone with newfound conviction. Which probably made things seem more dramatic than they actually were.

With determined eyes, Natsu formulated a new plan to follow, and pushed his cart along the aisle, looking purposefully around. He saw some cheese – he tossed it in the cart. Sausage? Tossed that in, too. Bread? Yeah, he'd probably need that. Tomatoes? Sure, why not. Oh hey, a watermelon. That shit was tasty. Tabasco sauce? Fuck yeah. Spice is love, spice is life. Broccoli? Fuck off and die in a fire.

Several minutes and a helluva lot of groceries later, Natsu's shopping cart was fuller than your ex on a Saturday night. He paused for a second, confused. When the fuck did it get so full? Would he even be able to pay for all of this…? Maybe? Yeah, screw it. He probably could. He had enough food here to start an underground doomsday bunker, so he'd be fine without money anyway.

Ah Walking Dead jokes. Poor Tyreese.

Man why did the black guy always have to die. That was some bullshit.

"What in God's name are you doing?"

Natsu turned over his shoulder, noticing a very confused Gray staring at him, brow raised and everything.

"The fuck does it look like I'm doing, popsicle dick? Shopping. S-H-O-P-P-I-N-G," Natsu retorted, folding his arms while giving his teammate a light glare.

"More like buying out the entire store. What the fuck are you even making?"

"You know… food… stuff?"

"Lemme guess – you just thought you'd buy whatever cause you couldn't decide on anything specific?" A short chuckle of amusement left the raven haired Shooting Guard. "Genius, Natsu. Really."

"Up yours, douchenozzle," Natsu fired back, glare intensifying.

"Bite me, fire fart," Gray replied, returning the gesture.

A few moments of idiotic glaring later:

"Okay, fine. I have this dinner thing with Lucy, Erik and Kagura, and I have no idea what the fuck to make, yeah?" Natsu bit his lip, annoyed.

"Naw dude, you look like you got things pretty figured out," Gray said, a smug grin on his face as he realized where this was going.

"Don't be a dick."

"Takes one to know one."

"I'll punch you in the dick."

"What's with your fascination with dicks all of a sudden? That's gay, man."

"I really will punch you in the dick, so help me."

Gray sighed. "Alright, well, considering you already have most of the stuff this store can even offer," - he noticed the odd lack of broccoli, but chose, perhaps wisely, not to say anything - "I'd say just go with a casserole?"

"That…" Natsu paused for a bit. That might actually work, holy shit. "A casserole of what, though?"

"Everything?" Both of them shrugged; it wasn't that difficult, right? Plus it was the easiest and seemingly best choice. As Gray said, Natsu's shopping cart was already ridiculously full of stuff no sane individual would buy in one trip to the store… unless they were actually planning to stack a doomsday shelter. Or feed a third of Africa. "Like just toss shit in there when you're cooking, I dunno."

"That sounds retarded."

"So do half the things you do, but you don't hear yourself complaining, do you?"

Natsu really was going to punch him in the dick.

And Gray was gonna have to thank Team Four Star for that.

It would definitely add to the Krillin-Owned-Counter.

DING.

Asshole.

By the time the two of them were done with shopping, they were carrying about six humongous bags of groceries each, trudging along the parking lot until they came up on Gray's old navy blue Ford Fiesta.

"You really need a new car, dude," Natsu said, opening the trunk to store the goods.

"I'll have you know this car still has quite a few miles in it, thank you very much!" Gray retorted, removing some of the books he had left riding shotgun for the pinket.

"At least you don't drive like Erik."

"This is true. And hey, you really need a car."

"I do have a car, okay? It's just… back there." A sigh left the pinket after he spoke. Why couldn't he bring the car with him when he moved to Magnolia? That would have made so many things much, much less annoying.

"So go get it. What's the problem?"

"You damn well know what the problem is." It was just awkward. Natsu didn't want to go home. He missed his uncle, he really did. But his father was a different matter altogether. And if he wanted to get his car he'd need to see him. And that was an instant deal breaker to him, no matter how you looked at it.

"Oh, hey, look. The chicks with dicks squad," Gray said through a snort as they got into the car, his eyes staring at a select few Blue Pegasus players walking along the sidewalk on the other side of the parking lot.

"How rude!" Natsu exclaimed humorously as he rolled down Gray's window and leaned out to sit on top of the door, the aforementioned SG only grinning as he started the car and drove up. "Hey douchebag! Your ass stop hurting after our game yet?"

"Shut your mouth, Dragneel," Hibiki growled under his breath, flipping the bird towards the passing Fiesta, Natsu and Gray doing the same in response.

"We'll use lube next time! Promise!"

"Fuck off," Ren added with a roll of his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah. See you in the playoffs, princess!"

"So," Gray began after Natsu sat back in his seat and rolled the window up, "this dinner thing. You and Erik just about ready to stop cucking each other?"

"Man," Natsu replied, feeling tired of this entire ordeal, "just don't, okay?"

"You wanna know what I think?"

"No."

"You're not wrong." Gray's statement brought a momentary sense of shock to the pinket's face as he turned to him, bewildered. Astonished, Natsu breathed out a silent what at what he said, prompting a shrug out of the driver. "Not gonna lie, I would've been pissed too if my teammates suddenly stopped trusting me. Especially in… your position." Despite hating himself for admitting it, Gray knew that Natsu was the x-factor in their team. The one player who could turn the tides of a game all by himself. And to suddenly be treated as everyone else… it was a good way to teach Natsu to be humble, but at the same time Gray realized that something like that would hurt, especially with a game on the line.

"Oh, hey, at least someone-"

"But what you did ain't right either," Gray interjected, interrupting him.

"Damn it, why does everybody think I want to listen to them preaching their opinions at me?" Dragneel said through an exasperated breath, slumping in his seat. "It's getting old. Yes. I know. Stealing a pass was shitty of me, okay? I get it. And I do admit it. But fuck, what was I supposed to do? Risk the game?"

"Trust your teammates, you jackass. It's amazing how you want Erik to trust you, but you won't trust his judgment. Purely amazing. Get over yourself."

"Yeah, whatever. I'm done talking about this." And to cement his being done talking about it, Natsu switched on some music. He surfed the radio channels and could only cringe when most of them played nothing but that godawful-

"DES-PA-CI-TO!"

"If you weren't driving right now I would punch you in the dick. With brass knuckles, fam. You know what, stop the car. Stop the fucking car and I'll kick your teeth in. Curbstomp you through the planet and into the moon. Where you can fucking choke on stardust. Just try to gurgle that "song" out again through a broken jaw. Try me, bitch."

Between that song and Gray's laughing post-Natsu-threat, the pinket thought he might just actually have to off himself. Make like Olenna Tyrell and take a shot of poison while letting Gray know he fucked his mom.

Thankfully there wasn't a lot of road left 'til they reached Natsu's place. And while Natsu wouldn't verbalize it, he was grateful Gray ended up being there to give him a lift. Carrying twelve elephant-sized bags of groceries home would've been a bitch. A good workout, but a bitch nonetheless.

Hah. Sex jokes.

Though he still had to carry them up several flights of stairs to reach his apartment. Gray offered to help, but Natsu declined with a polite fuck yourself sideways before the duo parted, as was customary.

As soon as Natsu made it through the door, he went to work.

Ingredients went flying. Natsu very quickly emptied his bags on the floor without so much as a thought, being a bit more careful with the one he knew had eggs in it. Everything else found safe refuge on the cold tiles of his apartment's parquet floor. What he believed was necessary to what he was making ended up being kicked towards the kitchen; everything else next to their TV. He didn't have much time left, and, as such, the luxury of being sanitary went out the window.

Lucy would've probably blown a gasket if she saw this. Luckily for him that wasn't going to happen for another hour or so.

"Fuck off, cat. Fish ain't for you," Natsu hissed as he pushed a curious Happy away with his foot, the aforementioned feline biting his sock as a result. "Okay, fine. Asshole." A piece of sausage was left to the cat as a peace offering. Why was everyone so fucking needy nowadays?

So after Happy ate the food that was left for him, and almost choked himself to death after playing in an empty bag like the dumbass cat that he was, Natsu proceeded to cook all the ingredients he thought he'd need. Well, at least those that would kill them if left raw. Man that would suck. Chicken, beef, fish, whatever. Natsu didn't care. Whatever was meat – he cooked.

His phone vibrated, prompting him to pick it up. Ikaruga commented you're my spirit animal to a post about cunts he shared on Facebook and Natsu aptly replied with a quick I'll fucking end you before he pulled up a how to make a casserole for dummies Google search result. He then proceeded to pop an energy drink he'd bought while he waited for the sizzling meatstuffs, and subsequently organized the other shit he'd need later on the floor with his foot. He quickly downed the energy drink and popped open another one, all while making a mental list of things he needed to do.

Caffeine and sugar highs simultaneously achieved, he was ready to continue.

The pinket turned to the living room; aside from the food scattered around more or less everywhere, the place was a fucking pigsty, even by his standards.

God…fucking…

And so chores commenced: vacuuming, dusting, mopping, doing the dishes, pushing the kitchen table to the middle of the room, clearing out some space for four people to sit; things like that. Then Natsu's nose caught the scent of shit from the toilet and he instantly regretted giving Happy that sausage.

This cat. With its fucking indigestion issues. "I swear to fucking Mavis."

The basketball player finally wiped the sweat off of his forehead with the back of his hand when that ordeal was over and done with. He then went back into the kitchen and continued food preparations. Based on what he read on his phone, he'd need a casserole pan. They didn't have a fucking casserole pan. Damn it. Okay. Contingencies...

Oh! Pie pan!

He stirred the ingredients together, adding the motherlode of all motherlodes of tabasco for extra kick while he did so, and smashed the entire thing into the pie pan… only to realize the damn thing wasn't large enough as half of the stuff ended up on his kitchen counter.

Why is absolutely nothing going my way?

Okay. It was time to regroup and rethink this. He bought a little too much of everything, used a little too much of that too much, and now he had a little too much of what was too much of too much.

Maybe I should've eased off on those energy drinks…

Fucking Monster high.

No, fuck that. I am a golden god.

Natsu took a step back and covered his mouth with both hands as he tried to come up with a solution. There was casserole gunk all over his kitchen counter, food or whatever draped across his apartment, cat shit in his toilet…again, and a stupid fucking Happy doing his damnedest to destroy the new goddamn loveseat.

Brilliant.

He could just imagine himself edited into the KC Green dog meme where everything's burning around him and all he could say was "this is fine."

Nothing was fine, for fuck's sake!

Natsu was momentarily startled when his phone buzzed alive, "Tienes un mensaje de texto."

"Siri, no. I am not dealing with you again. Not now. Fuck off," the pinket openly snarled at his phone. Luckily the device took the hint before he tried chucking it at Happy for using the furniture as a scratching post.

Natsu checked his phone; it was a text from Lucy. How's dinner prep going?

He looked over his apartment again.

HEYYEYAAEYAAAEYAEYAA, he replied. Don't ask why he knows the title of that He-Man video on YouTube letter for letter. That's a whole 'nother fucking story.

That bad?

The Power Forward snapped a 360-panoramic picture of his current workplace conditions, and sent it to her. Once again, Natsu was convinced he could feel her holy shit-esque reaction before his phone vibrated in his hands.

I'm coming over. Just stop doing whatever you're… doing. Like don't even move, okay?

After ten minutes of utter silence, his phone buzzed again.

OKAY?!

You told me not to move, he punched in to reply.

Goddamnit Natsu.

Man how the fuck am I supposed to open the door for you if I can't even move.

She didn't reply.

Well that's just fucking awesome.

It didn't even take her twenty minutes to get there, and the doorbell rang, a myriad of rushed knocks following suit.

But Natsu didn't move. No siree. Like a good little boy he just stood there with his thumb up his ass. Because according to her initial statement, he wasn't doing anything wrong.

His phone rang. He picked up.

"Are you gonna open the fucking door for me so I can get in there and help you?" she asked, clearly not amused by his antics.

He scoffed. "Who says I need help? And besides, I'm just doing what you told me to do. Standing here in the middle of this horrid mess without doing a single thing. Just waiting for Erik and Kagura to get here, y'know? But wait! I won't be able to open the door for them either. Boy I hope Erik has a key."

"Shut the fuck up and open the door! You know what I meant!" A short pause followed what Natsu would call her 'cute little outburst' and then, "Asshole."

"Whoa, Luce. Language! That's not nice at all!" He grinned slyly.

"You know what? Nevermind. I'll just head back home. Thanks for the wasted cab bill. I'll just text Kagura that dinner is off. Have fun with Erik killing you after what you did to the apartment." Natsu scoffed again, unperturbed, but Lucy had one more card to play. "Or maybe I'll just tell Erza about the way you live by yourself." Okay, his face blanched after that one. "Bye!"

"WAIT!" Natsu screamed as he almost tripped over a random sausage while sprinting to the front door. "Wait, wait, wait, wait! I'm opening the door now, okay! Hold your horses!"

"Geez, finally!" Lucy said when he opened the door to meet her wrathful glare as she pocketed her phone. "You can be a real prick sometimes, you know that, right?"

"Yes! Gods almighty, yes I can and I'm sorry! Please don't call Erza, okay?!" he said, his phone still very much against his ear.

She just pushed past him and walked into the apartment.

"Mother of…"

"I know."

"What did you do?"

"Tried to make dinner?"

"You… I can't even with you right now, Natsu." Natsu watched as she started picking stuff up; he could tell she had gone into recovery mode the second she saw his mess of an apartment. "Why do you have this much sausage!?"

"You can never have enough sausage, okay?" he replied with a nonchalant shrug.

"Wait… do you feed this to Happy?!"

"More or less, yeah. He's a cat, he can eat whatever."

"You can't feed a cat only sausage!"

"There's a dick joke somewhere in there," he said, barely suppressing a childish chuckle. "Haha, in there."

Lucy's groan was enough to tell him she wasn't amused.

Things eased down a bit on home front, at least. Lucy somehow made it right, clearing his haze of a brain of all of those lists of dos and don'ts that he had made in lieu of dumb circumstances. They argued quite a bit while Lucy cleaned, Natsu pushing the point of him not being able to move just to mess with her. She, as a result, more or less indirectly told him to go fuck himself. It was amusing, he couldn't lie.

But when he did eventually try to help out, she smacked his hand away. "Go sit in a corner and think about what you've done, which is enough," she hissed, surprising him a bit.

And so he did what he was told, pulling up a chair to sit in a random corner of the room, kicking yet another stray sausage out of the way as he did so. Man, he really did buy one too many sausages.

She was clearly angry with him, but Natsu couldn't help drawing some amusement out of it. And, admittedly, awe. It was such a simple thing. Well, paradoxical, too. The admiration he felt for her at that particular moment surprised him. All she was doing was the simple cleaning of an otherwise impossible-to-clean tornado of chaos (Dramatic? Maybe. But in his mind it was pretty accurate.); fighting the forces that be in this garbage dump of an arena. And Lucy was slowly, but surely, coming out on top of the pecking order.

He really should have left those cans of Monster at the store, holy shit.

Natsu's onyx orbs never left her form, though. The blonde came into his apartment wearing a thin white-leather jacket, with a bright hazel blouse underneath that left her shoulders uncovered. And fuck did those tight-fitting white jeans accentuate her curves. He felt more mesmerized with every sway of her hips.

"Can you stop staring at my ass?" she suddenly asked, giving him a light half-glare. Yet, the very slight shade of pink on her cheeks didn't escape his attention.

"It's an ass worth staring at, though," he supplied, a smirk clear as day on his face.

"Natsu."

"Okay, fine!" the basketball player sighed, as dejectedly as he raised up both hands in defeat. Eventually he figured he might as well make himself useful and went to hang her jacket up in his closet. Later he came back to her and tapped her shoulder. "Listen. Come here."

"Huh? What is it?" she asked with a slight huff as she stood upright, quirking a brow when Natsu led her to his kitchen by her hand. "What-" she ultimately ended up cutting herself off when she saw the mess he'd made of the meal they were supposed to be eating.

"…yeah. The 'food' has gotten cold by now too. Probably. I don't fucking know. So how about you do that and I'll see to cleaning this shit up. Sound about right?"

Heartfilia met his gaze. "No, Natsu. Nothing about this sounds right," she complained, "You were supposed to make dinner, not re-enact the Battle of the Fucking Bulge!"

"Haha. Bulge."

"Shut your face!" She poked him in his ribs with her hand, and in his face with her glare. Eventually Lucy could only sigh as her gaze softened, "Okay. Shit. Okay! You better have fucking mixed the right ingredients."

"Oh I sure as hell did!" Natsu grinned.

"Is that…" Lucy picked up an empty bottle of tabasco sauce, "how much of this stuff did you use?"

"Not enough," was the reply she should've expected to get. She shook her head; if they managed to clean this up and actually finish preparing dinner, then the dinner itself was going to kill them. Splendid.

Despite the hazardous obstacles before them, the two of them moved in tandem; Natsu cleaned his place up while Lucy tried to fix whatever shit he had done to their soon-to-be dinner. It took them about half an hour to get everything sorted as Lucy smashed the remainders of their casserole together and separated it into two pans since there was still way too much of the stuff left after the domestic disaster that was his attempt at cooking. Before baking, to top the meal off with some crunchiness, Lucy – upon Natsu's insistence – added some crunched up hot red Cheetos before she popped everything in the oven.

The blonde sighed tiredly, "How is this even working right now?"

"Beats me," Natsu admitted as he handed her a glass of water, "but you sure were a lifesaver."

"No thanks to you, Mr. I didn't need any help." She glared at him again as she accepted the offering.

"Call it a momentary lapse of judgment, okay?"

"And the possession of a less than flattering ego."

"Ouch."

"You deserved that one."

"Touché."

A tired breath left the female's lips as she fell back on one of the barstools of their kitchen. As she indulged in the cold water the pinket had provided, she turned back to inspect what was left of his room. And boy did she almost choke at the sight she saw which, admittedly, she was too busy with the food before to notice. The living room was fucking sparkling. Like, honest to Gods sparkling.

"What… magic is this?" she asked, clearly astonished.

"I call it the ass on fire technique," Natsu replied, flashing her a toothy grin.

"Wha-" she stumbled on her own words, still very much shocked. The food was no longer… everywhere, but rather neatly organized in the kitchen cupboards. How he managed that without her noticing was beyond her.

And if she asked Natsu's reply would be simple.

Nin-nin motherfuckers.

The floor was sparkling, so much so that Lucy reckoned she could see her own reflection in the parquet tiles. No more dust, no more random shit lying around everywhere, and the stench of cat excrement was gone, replaced by a scent reminiscent of blackberry clove. She didn't even need to ask, she realized, after she noticed the myriad of car air fresheners stuck inside their AC.

That was actually pretty smart, she had to hand it to him.

Now that there wasn't an avalanche of chaos above their heads threatening to crush them with its utter ridiculousness, Lucy realized that his apartment was totally different from what it used to be. The old furniture was gone, old wallpapers replaced, new floorboards, curtains… everything was different. The walls were a vivid hazelnut, light sea-salt hardwood parquet, white-gray-ish sofas, two complimentary armchairs, all surrounding a medium-sized living room table with a brand new yet scratched up loveseat at the helm… a loveseat which Happy had somehow developed a liking to as the feline had been occupying it ever since Lucy came through the door.

"Wow," she commented, somewhat amazed. "When did you guys renovate? It's like a totally different place now."

A sheepish, almost shameful rumble of a chuckle came from Natsu's throat as he scratched the back of his head. "Well…" He began, his eyes turning away to avoid eye-contact with her. "After Tenrou the place was kind of trashed. Unlivable, honestly," he explained, and it didn't take Lucy long to connect the dots.

That night when Natsu… well. She was on the phone with Kagura a couple of days after that. She mentioned something about Erik looking for new furniture and other stuff. Like that overly large sixty-inch TV and those speakers Gods only knew were going to get them into a lot of trouble with the neighbors.

Wait. Lucy's hazel eyes momentarily locked on the living room table. Was that…? Holy shit, it was the very same table she told Kagura she liked.

She turned to Natsu while pointing at the wooden piece of furniture, "Is that…?"

"Yeah," he confirmed with a nod, a small smile making his lips twitch upwards as he moved to the kitchen counter.

She smiled, "Why'd you pick it?"

"Heard you liked it."

His blunt honesty only made her smile widen. Lucy had to turn away for a second, just to make sure she didn't blush. She was not giving him any more points in their stupid little game.

She stood up from the stool a little too quickly, trying her best to hide her previous reaction as she extended her arms up and stretched, a satisfied moan dancing on her tongue, "I'm beat. Do you have any coffee?"

Natsu noticed something was up, but chose to stay quiet… for the time being. He snorted at the question as he was cleaning up several of the utensils Lucy used to salvage their meal, "What kind of question is that? Top cupboard on the left."

About three seconds later Natsu's eyes widened. Shit. He knew he shoved too much shit in there. But when he was looking for a place to store all this crap he bought, he didn't really care. Now, however, that decision was about to bite him in the ass.

He moved fast. As fast as he could, really. But it was too late. Lucy was already there, about to open the door to utter chaos. Again.

Before either of them could really do anything, they were covered from head to toe in flour, coffee beans, salt, sugar, and some other shit Natsu couldn't bother trying to name when stuff came crashing down.

Definitely not sugar, spice and everything nice. Powerpuff fucks.

"What…. The fuck?!" Lucy exclaimed with anger and shock, stomping her foot on the ground to emphasize how pissed off she was. She glared up at the significantly taller pink-haired basketball player who had the most confused expression on his face. It looked like he was searching for what to say. She could tell. She could just fucking tell, okay? And when his usual smug smirk started forming on his lips, she knew a perverse comment or five were going to surface very, very fucking quickly.

She'd have none of that.

Without accepting so much as a peep from the pinket Lucy pooled flour from the kitchen counter into both hands and blew it right in his face.

"Screw you," she said.

Natsu blinked once. Twice. Thrice. What the- did she just- huh? He blew a sticky hair out of his face, looking dumbfounded. When the reality of the situation finally kickstarted his brain, the pinket scowled.

Time to really reenact the Battle of the Fucking Bulge.

His hands moved faster than the receptors in his brain could possibly compete. He collected a large amount of flour and tossed it towards her, creating a mystifying smoke of white to coat the inside of his kitchen. Natsu acted fast when Lucy threw an open packet of salt his way, ducking before he rolled into the living room to avoid another packet of sugar which came after Lucy's scream of utter wrath.

Fuck. He was in for it now.

Shit went flying. Everywhere. And Natsu realized that the place would need to be cleaned up for the third fucking time in just about two hours. What the fuck was life?

The timer on their food dinged, signifying that there were about twenty minutes left. All while the myriad of different edibles were being used like cannonballs, crashing left and right. Really all that was left missing now was a tranquil symphonic piece of music. Yeah. Moonlight Sonata playing in the background would've been like icing on the fucking cake.

Natsu's face turned comical for a second when Lucy threw a sausage his way.

Big mistake.

He caught the piece of meat and took up the stance of a warrior. Honestly he'd been playing For Honor way too much lately. Several other foodstuffs were sent crashing into him, yet he masterfully swatted them away with his would-be meaty sword.

Haha. More dick jokes.

Turning his body sideways, Natsu locked one hand behind his back while the other held the long sausage at an en garde position, motioning for the blonde to come at him.

He wished he could make a 'come on' sign with fire on the tips of his fingers. He really did. Just because he was a fucking golden god, okay? Okay.

But man, he ended up regretting the decision of challenging her. Not because he couldn't handle it. Hell no. But because of the repercussions that undoubtedly followed such a challenge. Everything that he had poured his own blood, sweat and tears into to store in his kitchen cabinets ended up being used as projectiles against him. Tomatoes, cucumbers, potatoes, bananas, all sorts of berries, olives, a bottle of fucking ketchup and even tabasco! Nothing was safe from Lucy, and all of it was thrown right at him, only to be swatted away with his sausage-y sword.

Shit, his living room now looked even worse than it did before.

Seriously. What the fuck was life?

If you asked Natsu, he'd simply say HEYYEYAAEYAAAEYAEYAA.

After all of her ammunition was expunged, Lucy turned to close-quarters combat. Dual-wielding two cucumbers that were lengthy enough to make a plethora of potential jokes swim within Natsu's mind, the blonde rushed at him with a battle screech. He grit his teeth as he gripped his sausage (oh God) with both hands and attempted a parry, only barely being able to keep ahold of his meaty stick of life (Mavis, please help).

The end of Lucy's terrifying rampage came suddenly, though. And it was very dangerously abrupt. The blonde somehow managed to trip over a random potato and would've ended up on her ass had Natsu not noticed it happen before it did. He dropped his weapon of choice and darted forward. Arms enveloping her, Natsu managed to somehow twist mid-movement so she ended up on top of him, oxygen forcefully leaving his lungs when his back hit the floor.

He was just glad nothing was underneath him when he crashed. That would've sucked.

So as was customary Natsu ended up lying on the ground with a very flustered Lucy straddling him, her legs against either of his thighs. Instead of recoiling from him, though, she let a breath escape her as she fell on his chest. She was so, so tired. Exhausted even. Especially when the thought of cleaning this shit up crossed her mind. And Natsu could easily feel that.

A short and quiet laugh left him as he let one hand rest on her lower back while the other stroked her messy flour-covered hair.

"You alright?" he asked, his lips turning up in a small smile as she buried her face into the crook of his neck.

"Shut up…" she croaked out, feeling done with this entire ordeal. After a few key moments of enjoying their particular position, both of them looked around the mess they'd made.

"Man," Natsu complained aloud, yet decidedly kept any further arguments from being verbalized.

The blonde inspected their current situation, then turned to make eye-contact with him, "How about teaching me that ass on fire technique?"

Natsu hummed, "Think I'll have to." He then grinned. "But let's agree to title it dat ass on fire."

Lucy could only sigh as she playfully poked him in the ribs, trying her best to suppress a smile.

By the time Erik and Kagura knocked on the door everything was already clear… again. Though the duo of Natsu and Lucy had to sweat for it. A lot. Natsu had given the blonde some of his clothes to change into since hers smelled like the shitty kebab place down the street after everything was said and done.

So as Lucy opened the front door for them, Erik couldn't help but raise a brow at what she was wearing. Dark grey Adidas sweatpants which she rolled up mid-calf, and a yellow Sum 41 T-shirt, both items of clothing large to the point that they were almost too loose on her.

What the hell had these two been doing?

Several… interesting thoughts prickled at his mind, yet he didn't voice them. The only indicator of those thoughts was a wry smirk which, admittedly, he and Kagura shared.

"Hey," Kagura greeted with a smile as she shared a quick hug with the blonde. "Sorry we're late. Erik was busy with make-up."

"Uh-huh. Of course I was," the redhead rolled his eyes. "We brought this. Hope it fits with the food."

When Lucy looked at the offered bottle of wine, she couldn't help but feel a tinge of hope in the back of her head. Maybe, just maybe, dinner wouldn't be too bad.

Here's to hoping.

The meet and greet had gone well enough. Natsu and Kagura hit it off almost as though there was nothing wrong, but with Erik…

"Yo."

"Sup."

And that was that. The air settled into a mist of awkward silence after that, but thankfully the timer on their food dinged again to let them know everything was ready. Upon Lucy's insistence everyone was seated; Natsu at the head of the table with Lucy to his right and the other couple to his left with Kagura being to his immediate side. It wasn't arranged, but the blonde appreciated it anyway.

Things were quiet. Awkwardly so. Both Kagura and Lucy tried to lighten the mood, but were met with short answers from both Erik and Natsu.

Ugh. Lucy was getting tired of how immature the both of them were being. Eventually she just thought screw it and hurried everyone to dig in… without really warning them what happened with the food.

She did, admittedly, wait for everyone else to start eating before she did. You know, for self-preservative purposes.

Natsu was the first one to stick his fork into his slice of casserole. He played with it a bit before trying a few test chews. Lucy sighed with relief when she saw him smile. That meant it was good, right? At the very least edible, right?

Wrong.

Because when the remaining three people tried it… let's just say that if this was some kind of cartoon they'd be vomiting fire after trying the casserole. Of course Natsu would be fine with stuff this spicy. She should've known.

"This…" Erik croaked out, a tear forming at the corner of his eye as everything from his nose to his throat burned, "this is… p-pretty good!"

"Yeah…!" Kagura added before downing half of her glass of wine to wash down the heat.

Lucy felt like crying.

"Man, Luce. You've outdone yourself."

"Just shut up, Natsu…" she said while facepalming and shaking her head.

"Of course this fucking idiot will scarf all of it down," Erik commented with a shake of his head, making Lucy freeze in horror.

"Go fuck yourself, E. This is good!" Natsu shot back, giving him a sideways glare.

"You put all this spice into it, didn't you?" Erik could only groan when a nonchalant nod was the answer he got. "I should've fucking known. Your ass is going to suffer."

"I'll make your ass suffer if you don't shut your face."

"With what? That shriveled up thing you call your dick?"

"Oi fuck you."

"No, fuck you."

Lucy could only sit in her seat, motionless and utterly dumbfounded as the two basketball players threw profanities at one another like they were in practice, tossing up shots. She turned to Kagura, who didn't seem to share the sentiment. She was resting her chin in her open palm, a bright smile on her face as she played with her food using a fork.

I should've expected this, I guess, Lucy thought before a giggle left her. Said giggle turned into a quiet laugh, drawing the attention of the two guys plus girl. Then her laugh got louder, and eventually uncontrollable, as she clutched at her sides. This time it was Natsu and Erik's turn to make eye-contact, both of them feeling utterly confused.

"Dude, you made her go bonkers," Erik concluded.

"Nuh-uh, I didn't do shit this time," Natsu defended.

"Shut the hell up, both of you," Kagura breathed out with a shake of her head and a smile. How dumb could these idiots be?

"How about we just order take-out?" the blonde finally said after regaining some form of composure, wiping a stray tear away from the corner of her eye.

"I vote sushi," the other female in the room said with a raised hand.

"Ditto," Erik agreed.

"What the hell is wrong with the casserole?"

The trio just ignored the last member of their little party.

And while they waited for their sushi, a series of conversations took place. Well, rather it was the situation where Lucy and Kagura talked about how Erik and Natsu were acting like nothing happened between them in the first place. While the girls sat at the table, they observed Natsu and Erik talking about basketball while drinking a few beers, their conversations ranging from the Russell Westbrook's MVP-victory to how annoying Gildarts' training regimes were becoming. It was honestly a sight Lucy had been missing for a good while now.

"They're… something, aren't they?" Kagura commented, her smile still very much intact. "This happened once in the past too, you know."

"You mean with the way they were being immature children?"

"Oh that has never stopped." Both of the girls giggled at that. "No, Erik and Natsu got into a fight quite like this about a year ago. Didn't talk for weeks. Then it just went back to normal."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that."

"Don't they need to… you know… talk about it?"

The violet-haired beauty shook her head, "They… well. Those two aren't wired the way normal people are. Honestly I'm not sure they were really at odds in the first place." She hummed. "Consider two children bickering over a toy before they break it and get new ones – that's them. Very them."

Before either conversation could really progress any further, the doorbell rang.

"Food!" Erik exclaimed as he gave Natsu his beer to hold on to and went to pay for the sushi. Meanwhile, Kagura and Lucy decided to set up the table and couches so they could watch some random TV show while eating.

Everything seemed almost scripted. Like how it was supposed to be in the first place.

And Lucy couldn't find it in her to argue a single thing.

Several minutes later they were all indulging in some fishy goodness while Natsu picked something to watch on Netflix. Despite Erik's protests due to having already seen the show up and down about fifteen times, Natsu picked Breaking Bad. Because Gatorade me, bitch.

Also because, for the time being, this was Natsu's apartment.

Or as Natsu quoted it:

This is my own private domicile and I will not be harassed… bitch!

Erik groaned; it had been a good while since he slept in his own bed. Too fucking long. He'd gotten used to Kagura's bed by this point and he had to admit: her mattress was leagues above his own. He really should've bought a new one when Natsu and he were renovating the place. Maybe then he wouldn't have shown up to half of his classes looking like Hank Moody after a bender.

He turned on his other side, eyes glazing over the violet haired female soundly asleep next to him. Passing out like a log the way she did was a goddamn talent he wished he had. How the fuck could she just comfortably sleep on a mattress as uncomfortable as this one was beyond him.

Or maybe he was just way too damn pampered.

That'd be the day.

With a quiet grunt Erik sat up and pushed his legs to the edge of his bed, feet touching the cold floor. He stood up, stretched, and went out of the room, quirking a brow when he noticed the light was still on in the living room. They had spent a rather long while watching Netflix until Kagura and he decided to call it a night and tuckered out. Natsu and Lucy had wanted to watch a few more episodes. Natsu didn't specifically say that, but him tearing up when Walt hugged Jesse was enough of an indicator.

Wuss.

Erik was sure he'd slept for at least three hours after they went to bed. Were those two idiots seriously still watching the damn thing? They had a game tomorrow – today – for fuck's sake. If he- oh.

Now that was just precious.

Erik really couldn't help the smile that overtook his drowsy features. There was no conceivable way to hide it.

And as he approached the duo hunched over on Natsu's new loveseat, he took in the sight that he'd been hoping to see for a while now.

Natsu was fast asleep, one arm stretched out along the backrest of the loveseat while the other was soundly wrapped around the significantly shorter female next to him. Lucy was huddled up to his side, nuzzling into him with her knees pulled close to her chest, leaning against his legs. The picture was made complete by a sleeping blue cat snuggled up between them. The two plus cat looked so calm. So… peaceful. Almost as though they were back to their old selves again. Hell, almost as though that stupid shit at Tenrou had never even happened in the first place.

Erik pulled out a small blanket from their living room closet-of-immediate-necessities and carefully draped it around the couple. He barely had enough time to back off when Lucy stirred, claiming the blanket as theirs in her sleep. She wrapped it around herself, but graciously left just enough of it for Natsu to utilize as well… not that the guy cared. He was a natural heater 24/7. Had probably never had the common cold in his life.

And while Erik momentarily lingered on the sight, the fact that Kagura was standing in the doorway of their room, watching the sight with as much joy as he was, went completely unnoticed by him. He could only hope that this would last.

He could only hope that things were finally looking up.

Way up.

A/N#2: Somebody asked for reference explanations. Here we go then.

Not really a reference but the lyrics in the beginning are from Passing Me By by K.A.A.N. Great artist. Check him out if you're into fast-paced rap with a wild flow.

Almost as though they were connected somehow: go read Passive Aggressive Post-Its by quite-a-riot. It will all make sense then. She and I are on some kind of a fucking reference war and I fully intend to win.

Team Four Star/Krillin-Owned-Counter/DING: Dragon Ball Abridged stuff. Pretty much whenever Krillin got bitch slapped his owned counter would go up. If you haven't watched it go do it now. Don't be a pleb.

Despacito: Don't even...

A post about cunts: Literally something I shared on Facebook while writing this piece of shit. It states People offended by the C word would hear it a lot less if they didn't go around acting like such cunts, and Ikaruga's reply was a comment I got, Natsu's reply to that was my reply. Yup.

Casserole and pan shit: That was totally quite-a-riot's idea. My idea was to fuck it all up.

Golden God: Idfk. quite-a-riot's idea.

KC Green dog meme: Google that shit. You've seen it.

HEYYEYAAEYAAAEYAEYAA: YouTube that shit. You've seen it.

Battle of the Bulge: Last major German campaign thing in WWII. I've no time to be a teacher, Wikipedia that shit.

Nin-nin motherfuckers: Yes, another PAPI (I love that acronym) reference. Last sentence of Chapter 22. Idgaf.

Powerpuff fucks: This is not obvious only to those who didn't have a childhood. Go fucking acquaint yourself.

For Honor: It's a game. Look it up.

Russell Westbrook MVP-Victory: He's my favorite player, okay? I had to add him.

Gatorade me, bitch!/This is my own private domicile and I will not be harassed... bitch!: This should be fucking obvious but I'll explain it anyway. Two of the best/most hilarious quotes from Breaking Bad's Jesse Pinkman.

Hank Moody after a bender: Go watch Californication. Like, yesterday.

Walt hugged Jesse: Another Breaking Bad reference. Seriously, go watch that shit.

Closet of immediate-necessities: Something my friend and I had when we were living in the states. Shit saved my life tons of times. In more ways than one.

I might've missed something, but frankly Idgaf.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯