A/N: Good news: This chapter is especially long. Bad news: I'm taking an extended break from posting new fanfic. Good news: If you begin to miss my writing, you can buy Break Free, which is even better, because it's a story written by me and voiced by the real Naruto and Sasuke (see profile).

It took some time before Naruto calmed. The blond lay in his lap while Sasuke continued gently running his fingers through Naruto's hair. Though it was a difficult story to hear and even tougher to absorb, it had managed to drudge up memories from his own past. Obviously, their stories were different, but they both shared the kind of pain most could never relate to. They both shared a sense of guilt and shame from the traumas they'd experienced. It was apparent now that him bringing up Gaara had been forcing Naruto to think more about what happened to him as a child. For that, he felt guilty even if he never would've guessed any of it. Once he could tell Naruto was asleep, Sasuke rolled him to one side of the bed; Naruto murmured but didn't wake.

For a while, he sat on the edge of the bed, watching him, his chest so heavy and yet so empty at the same time. He didn't want to think about all the things that had happened to Naruto during those seven months. But that wasn't fair. Because when he'd tried explaining to boyfriends about having baggage, they always acted as if it was too much to handle. He didn't want Naruto to feel that way. More than likely, that's why Naruto kept his past a secret and why he was so private in general when it came to personal things.

After checking to see if Naruto was still asleep, Sasuke got up and went through his dresser, searching for a pair of sweatpants. He smelled of sweat and smoke from the club, so he wanted to take a shower before bed. The entire time he was in there, he felt rather uncomfortable–thinking about what a grown man would do with a 7-year-old in a bathtub. It made him want to vomit. It was strange to admit, but more pieces of the puzzle started coming together in his head now that he knew the truth. Gaara's death had changed him, crippled him in some ways, but it wasn't the end. He still had to carry on; Naruto had to do the same, coping with it however he could. Sasuke would venture a guess Minato wasn't the most sympathetic person in the world, but Naruto had chosen to move here despite that in an effort to repair their relationship. Whether or not it was working was another story. He didn't stay in the shower long. When he got out, he threw on some clothes, and decided his hair could dry on its own. Sasuke double-checked the lock on the front door and brought Naruto's unfinished tea to the kitchen before returning to the bedroom.

He paused in the doorway, observing Naruto while he slept. He suddenly felt compelled to sketch. Drawing was one of the best ways for him to sort out his own thoughts and calm down. He walked to the desk and picked up a pencil and notebook. Sasuke considered sleeping on the couch, but a part of him knew Naruto might take that as a rejection of sorts. He crawled onto his side of the bed and slipped under the covers, leaving ample room between them at least. There was only the light coming from the lamp on the bedside table. He dimmed it and started to sketch, always conscious of any movement Naruto made, his breathing, or when he began to softly snore. It had become such a habit for him to share a bed with the blond.

What would happen when he brought Naruto home? Would he be okay if left alone? In truth, Sasuke had no expectations for the future. He might see Naruto if he went home on breaks, but this Christmas was the first he'd been home in almost a year, so was that realistic? Would Naruto want to visit him here? Did he even want to continue their friendship? Hadn't he come here to get away, and understandably so? Did he find being friends with Sasuke exhausting?

He stopped mid-sketch to glance at Naruto's sleeping form–back to him, blond hair falling across the pillow, and a shadow that cut across the bottom half of his shirt. There was a heaviness building inside his chest. Longing? Grief? He wasn't sure. So, Sasuke returned to sketching because that was something that felt familiar. It helped clear his mind of these miserable thoughts and images he had floating around in his brain. He stayed working until the early hours, filling as many pages as he could until his hand eventually cramped up from drawing, and his whole body became too tired to continue.

When he awoke in the morning, there were a pair of deep blue eyes staring at him from only inches away. They were haunting in their intensity. Descriptive poetic imagery sprung to mind until Sasuke snapped out of it and realized this wasn't a dream.

"You fell asleep drawing," Naruto said, smiling uncertainly. "I set your stuff on the table. I didn't peek, except the page I could see. Looks like you were up late."

"I was," he replied, voice hushed and raspy. "How did you sleep?"

"I didn't wake up at all until about five minutes ago." Naruto's gaze shifted back and forth.

He was uneasy, Sasuke could tell. He hoped it wasn't because he'd slept in the bed.

"Something wrong?" Sasuke asked, rolling from his side to his stomach.

Naruto didn't answer. He stared at him solemnly, which made Sasuke want to pull him over, wrap his arms around him, and have them fall back asleep together.

"You're looking at me differently," Naruto whispered.

He frowned. "How am I looking at you?"

"I don't want to be pitied, and I'm not weak."

"I know you're not." Sasuke wanted to tell him that–if anything–Naruto was far stronger than he'd ever realized, but he couldn't get the words out.

Naruto reached across to take hold of his chain. It had fallen free of his shirt.

"Naruto?" Sasuke asked, watching him.

Naruto raised his gaze, eyes lingering on him briefly before he returned his attention to the ring that hung from Gaara's chain.

Sasuke covered Naruto's hand with his. "You okay? You're acting strange."

"Sorry." Naruto let go of the necklace, and Sasuke let go of him. "It's weird for me. Telling you all that. I don't like feeling vulnerable, to be honest. I've never known what to do with these feelings when they come up. I usually try to keep 'em buried and not think about it much."

"Sai's the only other one you've told like this?" He asked.

At least now he could understand Sai's reasoning for being overprotective. It was difficult to hear a story like that and not get angry. Wanting to protect someone wasn't something Sasuke had much experience with until he'd met Naruto. But, he knew very well what it felt like to not want anyone's pity. Maybe Naruto was thinking Sai only felt sorry for him. It was clear Naruto was the type of person who believed he could take care of everything and everyone on his own.

"Yeah, he knows all of it. Karin doesn't know as much. Ino… She only knows there are things I don't want to talk about." Naruto chewed his lip. "They don't know how bad it was, or how far he went. I don't want them to know."

"If you think you need someone else to talk to," Sasuke said, remembering how Naruto tried calling him last night. "I won't be offended if you want to call him. Sai, I mean."

"Why would you say that?" Naruto asked.

"I'm not sure how useful I can be to you."

"Huh." Naruto's expression softened. "Not just brains, but now we've reversed roles, too. I think I'm beginning to understand how you felt that first night you stayed at my house."

"Obviously, we're two people who… have some issues." He forced a smirk, hoping Naruto wouldn't take offense.

"Yeah. I guess I already knew that. I wanted to keep this from you as long as possible."

"Why? Not that I would've guessed. If I had, I never would've pushed you to tell me."

"You didn't really push me. I mean, you did, but I could've lied. I could've told you to shut up about it, but I also thought that you were lookin' for someone who could understand what you'd gone through with Gaara. I'll never know what you went through exactly, but at least when you came to me for help, I wasn't just sayin' all of that stuff. I meant it."

"I'm so sorry." He wanted to apologize for that night, for trying to hurt Naruto–especially that way. "I wish you would've punched me in the face, honestly."

"I wanted to, believe me," Naruto replied, almost grimacing. "But it was clear you were tired of hurting. Tired of keeping it all inside. Now that I've known you this long, I get that you must've been desperate to open up to me, especially when we were strangers."

"Do you regret telling me?" Sasuke asked.

"Do you regret it?"

"No." He shook his head. "You're right in that I was desperate. I didn't know how you would react, but I'm glad I did it."

"Well," Naruto's eyes brightened, gaze becoming somewhat mischievous. "You must've been grateful. Since you kissed me and all."

"Shut up." Sasuke, unable to keep from blushing out of embarrassment (and a little shame) had to look elsewhere. "I wasn't thinking right. That should be obvious. I said I was sorry."

"Sasuke?"

Sasuke looked over at Naruto when he called. The morning light was hitting him in a way that had him itching to grab his sketchpad again.

"What?" He asked morosely.

"I hope you don't feel like you pushed me into a corner. Yeah, I feel kind of embarrassed, but I also feel relieved. Maybe I said too much? I hope I didn't traumatize you."

"You're worried about me being traumatized? You really do have a martyr complex." Watching him, Sasuke moved his hand across the sheet, closer to the Naruto's, but without touching him. "I feel good about you trusting me enough to tell me."

With a smile, Naruto touched his fingertips to Sasuke's. "You really sound like me when I'm counselin' people, you know that?"

"I'm sure you've rubbed off on me these past two weeks. You might've taught me some new tricks."

Naruto slid his hand on top of Sasuke's. "The first night we met, when I was movin' the pews out of the truck, my first impression of you was… 'wow, that guy's a dick'."

Sasuke let out an unexpected laugh. "Understandable, but in my defense, I was in a bad mood."

Naruto clasped their fingers together and let their joined hands rest between them on the bed. "I knew you were upset about something. I didn't know how to approach that other than to invite you to church. I thought since you were walking that way, you were already going. Then again, I'd not seen you at a service before, and I was excited since I didn't know anyone else in town. People treat me differently 'cause of dad, but you never did. I didn't wanna get close to you at first since you weren't stayin' in town and because I thought you needed my help more than my friendship. But now I think I needed somethin' from you as much as you did me."

Those words… stirred something deep inside of him. They shone light on those dark and twisted parts that had made it difficult to get close to people, even when he'd longed for it. He tried to smile, but in a way, it felt as if his heart was breaking.

"I suppose if I tried to kiss you," he said, only half-joking. "You'd reject me again?"

Naruto chuckled. "Guess you shoulda brought that mistletoe with you, huh? Sasuke, I knew you were angry when you did that. I've never held it against you."

Sasuke stared, part of him disappointed Naruto might've just admitted he'd never considered him that way. Then again, it was a fairly inappropriate time to be bringing up physical intimacy with someone who'd confessed to being assaulted as a child.

"Do you think…" Sasuke's eyes were on their hands. "That what happened to you is the reason you believe you can't have a relationship with someone?"

Naruto drew his hand away. "What happened to me screwed up everything for a long, long time. I was young when that happened, but I had some idea about girls. Maybe I didn't understand the concept of sexual attraction at that age, but in high school, I liked dating. I liked girls. I liked havin' sex with Ino, but sometimes there were issues. I was a teenager, though, so I didn't know how to talk to her about it, which is why we broke up."

He wanted to ask about those things Naruto referred to as "issues," but he was trying to keep his annoying habit of asking personal questions under control.

"You could try it again now," he said. "She would understand if you told her everything."

"She might, but she'd be hurt by it. Not because I kept her in the dark, but because I know she'd be upset. She'd feel sorry for me, which… isn't so great for the ego, you know? You thought I pitied you after you told me about Gaara, but that was so far from my mind." Naruto, sighing, closed his eyes. "With Sai, he's not looking for a relationship. I trust him because he knows where I'm coming from when it hits me sometimes. He'd opened up to me about being knocked around by his dad. Maybe I felt I owed it to him to tell my secret, but by then–knowing he was gay, too–I'd also had all these times I wasn't sure havin' been molested made me more open to being with guys, or if I would've always been attracted to them naturally. So… I asked Sai to have sex with me one night. I thought it would help me sort things out, I guess. Heh. It didn't take much convincing. And, I needed to know if I liked guys, girls, or if I liked guys and girls. That was the summer before my senior year in high school."

This information was a shock for him, but he tried not to show it. He'd imagined what happened between them being the result of a mutual attraction or interest at least, not an experiment.

"And," Sasuke asked, "How did it go?"

"Not well." Naruto frowned contemplatively. "It was my fault. I thought it would be okay if he was on top, but I freaked out. He was cool about it, though. He handled it well."

Sasuke nodded. "But you tried it again. A second time?"

"Later on, yeah, but with me on top. It was a lot better. It happened a third time when we were livin' together. I guess we did other stuff in between but not that often."

"I see." Sasuke quelled his irrational jealousy. "So… the last time… wasn't so long ago?"

Naruto flicked the corner of Sasuke's pillowcase. "It was around the time I told him I'd be moving. At that point, he thought he could convince me to stay and was surprised when I didn't. There was a week where he didn't talk to me, but then it went back to normal. He called me every day or every other day once I moved. Lately, though, he's been pickin' fights. I know he's worried, but he really is acting like… you know. A jealous boyfriend."

It made it even clearer to him why Sai was so hostile toward him. He probably hated Sasuke's guts since he got in the way of his alone time with Naruto. Sasuke did feel a little guilty, but at the same time, there was a part of him that wanted Naruto to himself, too. If Naruto was saying those two were only friends, what obligation did Sasuke have to worry about Sai's feelings?

"You really don't think Sai wants a relationship with you?" He asked.

"Why?" Naruto's brows drew up in question. "I think he likes his freedom. The same as Neji."

"I don't know that I entirely agree with you, but I've told you that before."

Naruto raised himself onto an elbow. "What do you mean? What do you think's goin' on?"

"I'm only going to say this because I think it's something you would say to me. Because I've always thought this from the first time I saw you two together. I think he's in love with you. I think you love him. So, I want to ask why you haven't tried dating?"

"I'd lose him, that's what." Naruto let out a sigh of frustration. "I… can't do it, and if I say yes… and it falls apart, I'd lose my best friend. I don't want that, Sasuke."

Still, Naruto's answer didn't really answer the question about what he wanted or whether he was attracted to Sai in that way, or if he had any interest in dating him.

"You really think he's going to walk away from you?" He asked.

Naruto huffed. "Why would I take the risk? Why do you keep defending him? I thought you two couldn't stand each other. And, you should know. That you can be friends with a guy, have sex, and not require a relationship. After all, you have that with Neji."

Ah, he'd pushed too far again.

"I really don't think you can compare the two," he replied. "Neji's a friend, but he's no soulmate."

Naruto's look was one of incredulousness. "...You're sayin' Sai's my soulmate? Do you even believe in stuff like that?"

"I believe in a lot of things I probably shouldn't."

Naruto gave him a strange look. "I am not capable of a relationship right now. I can barely take care of my own shit. I know that. Yeah, I can do stuff for people at church and, yeah, it takes my mind off stuff. Sure, maybe I also do it because I still feel guilty for all kinds of things no matter how many times someone tells me 'it's not your fault'. But, romantically, I won't be able to be there. In the way, I think a man should be when he's in a relationship with someone."

"Also, I suppose if you were to date Sai, or any man, your father wouldn't be happy to find out you had a boyfriend," Sasuke commented as neutrally as possible.

He thought it safe to assume Minato had no idea about Naruto and Sai's relationship. Then again, if he had something against Ino, it was hard to imagine what type of partner he would approve of for his son. Sasuke was lucky his parents didn't pry into his private life too often.

"You're right." Naruto got up, crossed his legs, and leaned back against the wall. "He'd say it was because I was molested. That I was confused. He might ask me to stop workin' at the church. I don't really know. I don't want to hurt anyone if I can help it."

Well, that was certainly something Sasuke could relate to, but he was a lot less selfless than Naruto, so he didn't give a crap about someone else's feelings if they couldn't handle it.

He wet his lips, knowing he needed to be careful with his next words. "I think you're a better person than me then. I need it. I crave it. That kind of intimacy with another man. Like this. You and I talking in bed about things that truly matter. I do, in a way, empathize with Sai because… I'd want something similar. With someone like you. But, having experienced what I did with Gaara, I'd also have to ask myself, is it because I want to date you or because–"

"...What?" Naruto stared at him in utter confusion. "What did you just say?"

"I–" Shit. This wasn't coming out right. "I'm saying. You were right. That I am looking to find that feeling I had with Gaara. I may never find someone who makes me feel like how he made me feel because I do believe in things like soulmates. That doesn't mean you should tell yourself you can't have something meaningful simply because you're afraid of hurting other people."

"Well, that's for me to decide." Naruto gave him a look of concern. "You know, Sasuke. No one's ever gonna be able to replace Gaara, and you shouldn't ever be made to feel like you have to by anyone."

"That's not the problem," he mumbled. "The problem is me knowingly using someone as Gaara's replacement. But I don't use that as my crutch for not dating."

"You think not wanting to hurt the people you love is a crutch?" Naruto asked, raising his voice.

"No. I'm saying you and I are different," he replied calmly. "We have different experiences and are handling our grief and anger in different ways. Your way makes sense for you, and mine makes sense to me."

Naruto scrubbed his hands through his hair. "That's fair, so I'm not gonna get mad, but you. There's no reason you have to forget about Gaara or remove him from your thoughts or your heart. A partner who's worthy of you would understand that, and wouldn't feel jealous or neglected, or angry because you get sad or mad sometimes."

"You realize that's a very good description of yourself, don't you? You're the only one who's ever let me talk about him freely. Even Neji has his limits."

Naruto went back to looking perplexed. "The difference between me and Neji is that, uh, there's no romantic expectations. I don't get jealous just that you still have feelings for Gaara because… there are no romantic expectations between you and me. Right?"

Ouch. That was definitely rejection. And it stung more than expected. He knew Naruto was dense, but this was... well, maybe it was a good thing. If Naruto was saying he didn't want a relationship, Sasuke needed to accept it and learn to stop pushing his own desires on other people. Especially if he didn't know what he wanted himself.

"Besides," Naruto continued. "I wouldn't do that to you. I don't know if I'll ever be normal 'cause I dunno if I've ever felt normal. When I think about it, a wall comes up, and it's a Catch-22. I want to be with someone I care about, but I can't date them because I do care. I've explained that to Sai plenty of times, but I swear he's never directly asked for a relationship."

"I'm sorry I brought it up." He tried to shrug it off. "What's normal? I wouldn't know."

"Yeah, but you've already had such a hard time. I think you should find someone who's got sunshine comin' out of their ass." Naruto flashed him a crooked grin.

"If that happened. I might advise them to see their doctor immediately," he mumbled and buried his face in his pillow. Maybe he could suffocate himself at this rate?

"Heh. I want to be your friend. I need a friend. Really, I do. Because with Sai, there's already that complicated balance, and yeah, he's a best friend, he takes care of me, but because we had sex, sometimes I have to walk a line or at least be aware of it, and so far, you and I can just talk about whatever crap we feel like without holding back. You and I share our faith, too. That means a lot to me 'cause I don't have that with Sai."

Even if it hurt his ego, he understood where Naruto was coming from. He lifted his head, wanting to speak sincerely. "I know what you mean. You've reopened that desire I had as a kid to want to believe, to be a part of something greater than myself. I feel grateful to you for that."

"I do think it's somethin' that could really help you heal if you let it," Naruto said, and, leaning over, pat him on the head.

Sasuke swatted his hand away. "Is it doing enough for you, though?"

"Helping others does a lot for me," Naruto replied earnestly. "Having faith does a lot for me."

"What about having a pastor for a father?"

Naruto returned to his spot against the wall. "It's complicated."

"If he'd handled it differently? Back then."

"I've played through all the 'what ifs' a million times. Sometimes I get where he was comin' from. He was concerned about the church, the people who go there… I don't think it was just about savin' himself. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, right?"

Sasuke couldn't agree with that at all. "But you're his son. He left you with that man, Naruto. It could've gone on a lot longer if your mom wouldn't have found out."

"I know, Sasuke," Naruto said, obviously growing more frustrated. "I've thought of all those things a million times, but I don't have my mom anymore, and if I don't keep it together, I'll… break, and no one's gonna be able or know how to put me back together again, so I don't think, I don't say 'what if' anymore. I take it day by day, and some days are worse than others."

"Okay," he said, knowing Naruto had reached his limit. "Let's… not talk about it anymore."

"Good. Yeah. Please, anything but this." Naruto held his head in his hands.

"Okay. What do you want from me? What can I do for you?"

Naruto took a minute before replying. "Let me stay here for a while."

"What? You mean, live with me here?"

"No." Naruto laughed. "I do have to go back to work. I meant I just wanna stay here for a few days and do nothing if we don't have to. I don't wanna have to be responsible."

"I'm not letting you party anymore."

"I'm fine with that," Naruto agreed.

There was a light feeling in his chest as he gazed at him. "You want me… to take care of you?"

"I didn't say that. I don't need much looking after."

"It feels like you do."

Naruto smiled. "On a general basis, I mean. I'm pretty capable."

"We don't have to do anything." Sasuke rolled until he was next to him, face in front of Naruto's knee. He could do some damage if he felt like it. "You can lie in bed all day. If there's something I need to do, I'll go do it, and you can stay here."

"Nah. I don't wanna lie in bed all day. I think that would only make it worse."

"I might have an idea." Sasuke rested his forehead against Naruto's knee.

"Oh, yeah?" Naruto set a hand on top of his head. "What did you have in mind?"

"How do you feel about renting a cabin in the mountains? There's a ski lodge up there."

"When?"

"Tonight."

"Really?" Naruto asked, sounding more pleased than surprised. "Tonight, hm?"

"I thought you'd appreciate the attempt at spontaneity."

Naruto chuckled while continuing to comb his fingers through Sasuke's hair. "I think that sounds good, but I'm gonna suck at it. I'm usually pretty good at sports, but… this is gonna be bad unless it's anything like surfing. Not that I'm unwilling to try."

"I'll instruct you," he said, rather confident in his abilities. "I may even get some joy out of watching you fall down for the first hour or two."

"I see how it is." Naruto pulled at his hair so that he had to look up. "Are you trying to get revenge on me for something?"

"In a way," he answered. "You did friendzone me. It destroyed my ego."

"I can't tell if you're kidding." Naruto narrowed his eyes, trying to read his expression.

Sasuke thought it obvious, but he did want to fuck with him a little. "What if I wasn't?"

"Please. I'd be doing you a favor if I rejected you, but I know you're not serious. You just like to make out with every hot guy you see."

"But we haven't made out," he replied.

"No, but you did try to kiss me. Ha, that implies you think I'm hot! I said you only make out with hot guys." Naruto, grinning and apparently thinking he was being funny, stretched his arms above his head. "For the record, I do think you're witty and interesting and smart. Very talented, too. Any guy would be happy to date you… or, at the very least, sleep with you."

"This morning you said you think I'm attractive," he commented, idly watching the way Naruto's shirt shirked up as he moved around. "Are you attracted to me?"

Naruto stared at him as if puzzled by the question.

Sasuke sighed. "You're not going to answer that, are you?"

"I don't see the point. It wouldn't change anything."

"It's fine," he said, wondering why he kept exposing himself to humiliation and rejection. "You already told me how you feel, so I won't take all of the loose compliments you throw out as encouragement. There's no need to complicate what we have by throwing sex into the mix."

"Huh? When did I say anything about you and I having sex? I'm… getting confused about what we're talking about here, but to be clear… even if I hypothetically thought you were attractive, or if I have moments of attraction toward you, that doesn't mean I really see us bein' like that."

"...That only felt like being stabbed in the chest. Thanks for that." Sasuke rolled to his side of the bed and stared at the wall.

"I've already explained why I can't do relationships. I'm not playin' hard to get, I wouldn't do that. It means I genuinely think I can't 'cause I know there's stuff wrong with me that I want to sort out. I wish I could have the sort of relationship you have with Neji. I see how Sai acts sometimes, and I know you see it, too. Sex with friends complicates things." Naruto nudged him with his foot. "Don't be greedy. You don't need another friend with benefits, do you? At least Neji's a good match in other ways even if he's selfish in bed."

Naruto was only teasing him, and Sasuke knew everything he was saying was right, but he couldn't do anything about this growing frustration. The closer he got to Naruto, the more he wanted from him.

"Let's not worry about it, okay?" He said. "Consider this a vacation from all of that. When you want to talk about it, I'm here. When you want to ignore it, that's fine, too. I won't push you."

"Okay. Thanks. You're good at this."

He glanced at him over his shoulder, thinking he was being sarcastic, but it didn't look like it. "I'll try not to be offended that this comes as a surprise to you."

Sasuke sat up on the edge of the bed.

"I'm going to grab my computer, and see if it's not too late to make reservations."

"If you're gonna do that, then why don't I make us breakfast?" Naruto asked.

As he stood and stretched, he gave Naruto a long look. "Why don't you stay in bed and relax? I can make breakfast after I take care of the cabin."

Naruto was sitting on his heels, scowling at him, so Sasuke did what any concerned person would do and poked him in the forehead.

"Ow. What the hell was that for?" Naruto rubbed at the spot.

He smirked. "It's a pressure point that helps to increase brain function. In your case, I'm not sure it'll work for you since you'd have to multiply by zero."

"Asshole!" Naruto was smiling as he grabbed hold of Sasuke's finger. "You're bein' sorta cute right now. Do you wanna make out or somethin'? Is that why you kept askin' me all that stuff? Does me havin' a traumatic childhood backstory do somethin' for ya?"

Sasuke made a noise of disgust. "You're disturbing enough on your own. Your past has nothing to do with it."

Naruto let out a sharp laugh. "Take me with you when you go back to school."

"Tch." Sasuke started walking away. "You should only be so lucky."

Making reservations was easy enough. He had his own various savings and loans to pay for it, but because Naruto kept complaining, he promised he'd let him buy him dinner some time. It was only for the night, but he could tell they both needed to get out and do something active.

They packed a couple of bags and threw them in the trunk. Sasuke had some spare boots and snowpants since he sometimes went skiing with Neji or other friends. He only had his one board that he kept in storage, so they'd have to rent one for Naruto. The blond seemed in a good mood, even occasionally singing along with the radio. He didn't have a horrible voice, really. When he put effort into it anyway.

"So, do you go to this cabin place often?" Naruto asked.

"Not often," he replied. "Once in a while. Why?"

"Just wonderin' if you come here with Neji."

"Why would you be wondering about that?"

"Because." Naruto grinned. "Seems romantic."

"Does it? Then what does that say about us if we're going together?"

"Oh. Good point." Naruto furrowed his brow and changed the station. "How close do you think snowboarding is gonna be to surfing?"

"Fairly similar, I would think," he answered. "The basics are simple, but it usually takes about a day to get confident in going down a hill, and not a big one."

"This is gonna be boring for you then, won't it? If you're stuck teaching me?"

"I'll teach you what you need to know and leave you to practice by yourself on the bunny slope."

"That's fair," said Naruto. "I learn better that way. Or is it 'cause you're gonna be embarrassed to be seen with me?"

"I'm always embarrassed to be seen with you, idiot." Sasuke was a little distracted since there was more traffic than he expected on the highway, and everyone was driving like an imbecile.

"It sure is bright out today." Naruto pulled down the visor. "I forgot my sunglasses."

"I may have an extra pair in the glove compartment. You can check."

Naruto rifled through the compartment and found a pair of black sunglasses beneath the insurance information.

"How do I look?" He asked after putting them on.

Sasuke snuck a quick glance. "Not bad."

"That's more of a compliment than you usually give me."

Even though he knew the way, the GPS blurted out instructions to take the next exit in two miles. They were 15 minutes away.

"This was a really good idea." Naruto punched him lightly in the shoulder. "I hope you don't live to regret it when you have to carry my broken body back to our room tonight."

"As long as you don't do anything stupid like take the lift to the intermediate or expert hills, you should survive without any bones breaking."

"That's no fun."

"Your phone hasn't gone off for a while," Sasuke commented.

"That's 'cause I turned it off and threw it in my backpack."

"I suppose that'll do it."

"I don't really wanna talk to anyone right now. Is that bad?" Naruto asked.

"No, it's not bad. I feel that way sometimes, too."

"I like talkin' to you, though. You never bother me. In fact, I always look forward to hangin' out with you. You sure you're not tired of me yet?"

"No. Not especially." He tapped his thumb against the steering wheel.

"Did you bring your notebook so that you can draw?"

"Why do you ask?" Sasuke looked over at him.

"Only curious. Now I wish I would've gone through everything you drew last night. I didn't wanna invade your privacy, but I feel like it gives me more insight into who you are."

"Does it?" He asked quietly. "What is it you think my art would tell you that I couldn't?"

"Unconscious things, right?" Naruto shrugged. "I don't know…"

"I didn't bring it, but you can look at it when we get home."

"Home," Naruto repeated, then sighed. "We almost there?"

"Yep."

"Ah, yeah, I see the sign for it. Just up this hill then?"

The road was only two-lane and it was getting steeper. Tall pines lined either side of the road, some of them here for hundreds and hundreds of years. The further they drove up the incline, the more snow covered the ground and treetops became. Not much longer, and Sasuke pulled into one of the open spots next to the building where they could check-in. He left the car running.

"You can stay here," he said. "I need to get the key to the cabin."

"Okay, sure." Naruto waved him off.

It was colder than he'd expected, so he stuffed his hands into the pockets of his coat as he went in to greet the manager, hand over his credit card, and grab the key for whatever cabin they'd assigned. It took less than 10 minutes before he was back in the car again.

"We're in Cabin 10," he said, in case Naruto was interested.

"Is that a good one?" Naruto asked. "Does it have a hot tub and stuff?"

"There is one, but it'll be shared with the adjoining cabin."

"Shit, I didn't think to bring trunks. Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because we don't usually use it when we come here," he replied.

"That surprises me. I figured you and Neji would've used it at least."

"You seem especially obsessed with Neji today," said Sasuke. "Should I have invited him? We could've had a threesome."

"Hilarious," Naruto muttered. "I wouldn't have been opposed, but I like that it's just the two of us."

Sasuke parked in the space assigned to their cabin. They weren't directly connected, but there was another cabin on the left. Since there were no other cars parked here, he assumed it hadn't been rented out. They looked like cottages. Inside was a living space with a kitchenette, a bathroom, and a separate room for the beds. It was strange they'd be having separate beds since they usually slept together, but he couldn't think of a reason to get a room with only one. Once he turned off the car, they got out and began hauling all their stuff in.

Because Naruto had a hand free, Sasuke let him dig the keys out of his coat pocket to open the front door. Naruto held it so he could go in first. There was a fire burning in the fireplace, which was nice. Everything was clean. Lots of wood paneling, of course, but it was cozy and rustic. He rather liked this place. Naruto must've been impressed considering all the noises of appreciation he kept making. Sasuke bypassed him so he could go dump his pack on one of the beds. Out of habit, he took the one by the window. The curtains were to the side, revealing a panorama-like view of the woods and creek. There was a deck in the back, too, but it measured the length of both cabins. It had a chiminea, grill, and the covered hot tub, which could easily fit up to six people.

Naruto followed him into the room. "Oh, wow. Two beds. That almost feels weird, huh?"

"I thought you'd like your own bed," he said. "For once."

"Hmm. It's not as if I've ever minded sharin' one with you, but it'll be good to spread out."

"Take one of the closets if you have stuff to hang up," Sasuke told him. "I just want to get situated in here, use the bathroom, and then we can head up if you're ready."

Naruto dropped his bag beside his bed and fell on top of it. "Whatever you want. Feels good to just lay here."

Sasuke walked over and sat on the edge of the bed, bouncing on top of it. Naruto cracked open an eye to look at him, smiling.

"What?" Sasuke asked.

"Feels like a honeymoon."

"You sure you're not gay?"

"Only partially," Naruto answered. "It's not a honeymoon if there's two beds."

"I'm so sorry. Should I have reserved a room with one?"

"No." Naruto rolled onto his side and pat the duvet. "It's fine. I like this place a lot." He reached for Sasuke's wrist, but stopped himself it seemed.

"What was that?" Sasuke asked, an eyebrow drawing up.

"Nothin'." Naruto flipped to his back. "I thought you had to pee."

"Right. I'd tell you to make yourself at home, but it looks like you already have."

"Mm." Naruto closed his eyes. "I totally wanna use that hot tub later, Sasuke."

"We'll see if it even works first," he replied, heading for the bathroom. "Don't fall asleep. When I get back, we need to get up there before it gets too late to teach you anything."

Though they could've walked, they took the car up to Deer Valley Resort's main building, where there was a rental store, restaurant, bar, locker rooms, and common area. He brought Naruto over to the rental counter. It took Naruto longer than expected to decide on his gear, and Sasuke left the employee working the rental counter to assist Naruto in picking out what he wanted. Once they had everything they needed, Sasuke led them outside. They started with the bunny slope, where most of the kids were, and, of course, several adults taking their first lessons with instructors.

"This is… kind of embarrassing," Naruto said. "Do we really have to start at the beginning? Can't you just shove me down a hill, and if I hit a tree my first time, it wasn't meant to be?"

"Not funny because that does happen," he replied, "And, more than you being safe, you don't want to hurt anyone else, do you?"

"No." Naruto pouted.

Sasuke didn't even want to think about how good Naruto looked in his gear with that California beach-blond hair peeking out under his helmet and those stupid, stylish goggles. The whole ensemble was surprisingly flattering to Naruto's very athletic build.

"First, we're going to strap your lead foot into the binding, and I'll teach you how to skate."

"Skate?" Naruto made face. "Is that what it's called?"

"So, more than likely, you'll want to sit on your ass for this. Especially if you're on a hill, you wouldn't want your board to slide away, which reminds me. If you do set it down, make sure it's like this." He demonstrated, placing his board upside down. "You wouldn't want it to get away from you because it could do some serious harm."

"Ah, makes sense." Naruto got down on his butt in the snow. "Now what?"

"Alright, so we're going to strap up your left foot because your dominant foot is the one that goes behind like a rudder." Sasuke got onto his knees and put the blond's foot into position. "So, you put it in here, and then you lock it in. To tighten it up, you adjust the ratchet, like this. To take it off again, lift up. Try it a few times."

He watched Naruto take it off and tighten it back up a couple of times, satisfied that he understood.

"Now, you're going to stand, and I'll teach you how to move around with the board strapped to your foot." Sasuke stood and held out a hand to help Naruto to his feet.

Once he was up, Sasuke–still holding onto his hand–dragged him toward a slight incline in the snow so that he could show him how to go up a hill.

"When you're going up a hill, or walking up to a lift, you need to keep your free foot out in front of you and dig the edge of the board into the snow and drag it along. It helps to always keep the board parallel to your chest in whatever direction you're going." He turned Naruto so that his body was facing toward the top of the incline and made sure his free foot was out in front. "Now, try walking forward while dragging the board. Dig it into the snow so it doesn't slip out from under you and you end up rolling your ankle."

Sasuke followed nearby in case he slipped. It wasn't a difficult concept, but it was the easiest way to get around since unstrapping the board after each run would take forever. Since they were already at the top of a hill, he showed Naruto how he needed to point the board in the direction he wanted to go. All he had to do was place his free foot on the board and slide down.

"Just keep your weight balanced between the bindings and don't lock up your knees or ankles. Keep them flex," he said, and, even on his first attempt, Naruto went down without a problem.

It was a baby slope, but for some people, it was more difficult than it looked. They walked up some ways to an even higher incline, but it didn't faze Naruto. He already had great balance and a natural instinct for movement. That must've been the surfing experience kicking in.

He watched Naruto try a few more times, just so that he could get used to the feel of it. By then, it was obvious Naruto was ready for something more challenging. After Sasuke strapped into his board, they made their way toward the lift so he could take Naruto on his very first run.

On the ride up to the drop-off point for Wide West run, Sasuke gave Naruto a few other tips that he thought would be helpful for a beginner. Most of it was about safety and places beginners should avoid (in case they got separated). It was amusing when they were getting off the lift and Naruto didn't realize it would require going down a short hill before it flattened out.

"Hold my hand, dammit," Naruto said as they slid off the seat.

Sasuke held his gloved hand to make sure he stayed upright. There were a couple small kids there, so he steered Naruto over to where he wouldn't knock into anyone.

"This is a fairly flat run," said Sasuke. "We'll go down it together. Just remember that when you want to slow up, turn your board perpendicular. Any questions?"

"Not really. Like I said, I learn better by just doin' it."

"Hn. I bet." Sasuke smirked. "We'll take this slow, just so I can talk you through how to turn. No point in trying to show you big tricks on your first time out."

"You can show me tricks. I'll promise not to try them… probably."

"Well, it's more than you out there, so don't do anything that could get someone hurt," he said seriously.

"You know what you sound like right now?" Naruto asked, smiling widely at him.

"No, what?"

"A teacher," he replied, thumping him in the chest. "What did you think I was gonna say?"

"If it's coming out of your mouth, hard to tell," he answered. "Stay by my side. If you need to stop, skate over to the side so we're out of the way."

"When are you gonna do the runs that you wanna do? I don't wanna hold you back."

"I'll go later, when I think you're capable of not killing yourself if I leave you on your own. Now, get your other foot strapped in, and let's go."

Sasuke spent another hour and a half with Naruto. They tried several different runs, the last having a decent level of difficulty for the blond's skill level. He was a quick learner, and though Sasuke would've been fine staying on these runs with him, Naruto eventually told him to politely "fuck off" so that he could practice on his own. Now that he'd been kicked to the curb, Sasuke, taking a seat on the lift, studied the map of the mountain printed on the safety bar. He found a trail he recognized as having been on the groomed list. Though the sun was out, there was a chill in the air. It was a good day to come as it wasn't particularly packed with people.

When he got off at his run, it felt nice to be able to go at his own pace as he zipped around on the dry powder. He wondered if Naruto was doing alright. It was funny how adamant he'd been about trying to learn on his own. Of the few times Naruto ended up on his ass while they were together, he looked kind of cute when he got embarrassed and Sasuke had to help him to his feet. It was fun, though, being able to teach someone like him. Actually, he always ended up having a lot of fun with Naruto. Or, should he say he was always entertained at the very least?

That thought of him having to move back permanently gave him an unpleasant pang. Of course Naruto wouldn't be here when he got back. They both had different lives to lead, different friends. Sasuke flipped his goggles up onto his helmet as he dragged his board toward the next lift area. Should he check on him? He'd made sure to lecture him about going only on runs appropriate for beginners. Naruto was an idiot, but he wouldn't do anything that might endanger someone else's life. In knowing that, it gave him some peace of his mind while he waited his turn for the next chair lift to take him up to Bald Mountain.

At 3.30, Sasuke made his way to the main lodge, his body already aching as he headed for the changing room, snowboard under his arm. Naruto must not have come in yet since his stuff was still in his locker. Sasuke decided to change anyway and left his gear behind before making his way to one of the small cafes to grab a quick bite to eat.

He would've waited for Naruto, but he didn't know how much longer he'd be. He'd only said try to come in before 4. Sasuke sat next to the window, people watching as he ate his turkey wrap and tried to rehydrate. While he was sitting, he thought he saw Naruto coming in, but it was hard to tell since this person was walking and talking with someone else–a woman apparently. It's not as if that would be surprising since Naruto made friends everywhere he went. When Sasuke finished eating, he threw away his trash and went over to one of the large seating areas where there was a giant fireplace. He picked up one of the skiing magazines nearby, figuring that Naruto would realize he was in from the slopes and hanging around nearby.

Ten minutes later and someone tapped the front of his magazine. Naruto stood in front of him, hair a disaster and his cheeks flushed bright red from the wind.

"I'm still alive," he said to Sasuke. "Did you have fun bein' out there on your own, not havin' to drag my sorry ass around?"

"It was… refreshing," Sasuke answered. "Did you meet a friend?"

"Well…" Naruto scratched the back of his head. "I did meet this chick who was pretty rad. She tried to show me a couple tricks after I said it was my first time."

"Is that so?"

"Yeah. She was here with her girlfriend, who was also cool, but apparently had to stay out since she was teachin' a group of rich kids how to jump on rails."

"Ah, she has a girlfriend? Well, that's too bad," he remarked dryly, setting the magazine aside. "Do you want food? There's a cafe over there."

"Yeah, maybe I'll get somethin' in a sec."

"Did you have any trouble?" He asked. "You didn't hurt yourself or others?"

"Nah, I ate snow a couple of times when I tried one of the intermediate–"

"You went on an intermediate run?" He interrupted him.

"Well, I mean. I was with that girl, so–"

Sasuke narrowed his eyes.

"Er. So, I think I'll go get a sandwich." Naruto ran away before Sasuke could lecture him.

Tch. Idiot.

When he returned, they grabbed a high-top table near a window and chatted. Naruto talked excitedly about how once he got the hang of it, it started to feel a lot like surfing. So, they discussed surfing, and Naruto told him they should go to California and try it sometime. Sasuke wasn't opposed. In fact, he might've considered it an option for spring break, but didn't bother bringing it up in conversation. By the time they were ready to go, it was getting dark. The sun was setting behind the mountains, and they stood to watch it for a few minutes longer.

"I really do love these mountains," said Naruto. "You're so lucky you could come up here every weekend if you wanted."

"That would get expensive," he replied. "Then again, I can just put out and have Neji pay for everything."

Naruto shot him a disapproving look.

"I'm kidding, Naruto. I'm not a prostitute."

"Good to know." The blond started smiling again. "'Cause I can see Neji doin' that."

"He'd pay regardless of whether I put out. He's that well off."

"Even if he comes from a rich family, you shouldn't take advantage of him, Sasuke."

"Please. I'm so good in bed that I deserve it," he said. "Obviously."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "He graduates this year, doesn't he?"

"Yes." Sasuke's lips thinned.

"Does that make you sad?" Naruto asked innocently enough.

"I suppose." He gave the sunset one last look. "Ready to go back to the cabin?"

"Sure. Let's go get our stuff." Naruto set out ahead of him, but Sasuke noticed he was limping, so he grabbed him by the arm. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You're walking funny. Did you hurt something?"

"I don't think so. I feel sore all over, but I figured that's 'cause I'm out of shape."

Sasuke studied him as if he could tell what was wrong just by his face. He'd see how he was later. If anything was broken, Naruto would've known right away. He was only slow in getting around, but maybe he was simply sore like he'd said. Sasuke felt it, too, but he was used to it.

Once they grabbed their jackets and other gear from the lockers, they headed for the parking lot and spent the short drive to the cabin arguing over whether or not they'd use the hot tub tonight.

When they got back to the cabin and disrobed of their snow gear, Naruto took first shower. Sasuke sat on the foot of the bed, flipping through the channels. He settled for something on HBO. So engrossed in what he was watching, he jumped when Naruto suddenly appeared next to him, dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt while toweling off his hair.

"Is that what you're going to wear in the hot tub?" Sasuke asked.

"We're gettin' in later, but I'm gonna chill first. My body's wrecked. My hip is killin' me."

Sasuke frowned. "Really?"

"Yeah." Naruto threw the towel onto the other bed. "I think it's from when I tried the Cat Tracks."

"...You tried the Cat Tracks?" He got to his feet. "What were you thinking?"

"It wasn't that bad! I just… lost control once and maybe wiped out pretty bad?"

He grabbed his arm. "Show me."

"What do you mean 'show you'?" Naruto asked with a laugh.

"It's not funny." He narrowed his eyes. "I need to know how bad it is. It might need ice or there's probably some pain cream I can buy in the building where we checked in."

"I'm fine, Sasuke." Naruto's eyes were a little too bright and annoying.

"Just show me, and I'll decide if you're fine or not."

"Is this an excuse to get me to take my pants off?"

He snorted. "Hardly. It's your hip, not your penis. Don't be an idiot."

Naruto pouted. "But I have sexy hips." He tugged the the waistband down but winced as his own nails accidentally scraped what appeared to be the start of a bad bruise.

Impatient, Sasuke tugged it further down the blond's hip so that he could see what the damage was. "Hold it there, so I can see it properly."

Naruto, obediently, kept the waistband pulled down as Sasuke crouched beside him. Lightly, he traced the outline of the bruise's already-forming edges. It's not as if it was abnormal to be sore, but it still irritated him that Naruto allowed himself to be hurt. The bruise was going to be huge tomorrow.

Scowling, Sasuke got to his feet, still studying it as he skimmed his index finger over the top of Naruto's hip. He almost forgot Naruto wasn't mute until the blond took in a sharp breath after he passed his fingers over the top of the bruise again.

"What?" He asked, looking up at him with concern. "Is it that bad?"

Naruto cleared his throat. "Uh… no. It's just… can I pull my pants up now?"

He stood up. "Oh. ...Sure."

Naruto did so, but slowly. "Sorry. I didn't realize it was gonna be that bad, but it's not the worst I've ever had, so no big deal."

"I'll find you some ice. That's going to swell some, so it'll help if you put it on there."

"Are you really that worried about a little bruise?"

"It's not little," he argued. "You should take better care of yourself. Be more self-aware."

"Hmm." Naruto searched him, but for what, he didn't know. "Okay… I'll be more careful."

"Good." Sasuke retrieved his keys from off the dresser and put on his coat. "Do you want anything else? They have a snack bar. A drink or chips?"

"I mean… if you don't mind, a Coke would be good." Naruto was giving him a strange look. "But don't go to any trouble on my account."

He paused in the doorway. "I'll be right back. Don't break anything else while I'm gone."

"Heh. Okay. Thanks for takin' care of me, Sasuke."

Naruto waved him off and as Sasuke walked out the front door, he caught himself smiling.

Sasuke couldn't help smirking every time he glanced at Naruto. The blond was lying on his right side, pants pulled down a modest amount with a large bag of ice on his hip. He was sipping at his Coke while watching TV.

"I can feel you looking at me, you sadist," Naruto complained. "It's not that funny."

"You're right. It's not. I didn't realize you were so interested in showing skin around me."

"Uh huh. Didn't you know? I fell on purpose just so I could have the opportunity to pull my pants down in front of you." Naruto lifted the bag off his hip, "You must be really hard up."

"I won't argue with that," he replied, unashamed of the fact even if Naruto was joking.

Naruto fussed with his ice bag, most of which had melted after 20 minutes. "Can I ask why that is? I mean. You know. Did you and Neji have a fight, are you taking a vow of chastity? What is it? I'm pretty confident you could score if you wanted to."

"I'm confident I could, too."

"Well? What's up? Tell me what happened to your mojo."

He hit mute on the TV. "Is this really a discussion we're going to have with you in such a state of undress?"

"Oh my God, I'll pull them up if they're that distracting. The blanket would hide all the important bits anyway. I'm worried about you. Are you sure you're jerkin' off enough? Despite what people say, you won't actually go blind."

Sasuke snickered. "I thought it would be more polite to save it until I was alone in the shower."

Naruto had his own chuckle. "Why don't you go do that, and I'll turn the volume up extra loud?"

"I'll wait until after we try out the hot tub. You've been nagging me about it all damn day."

"Wait." The blond perked up. "Will you really go start it?"

"If you want." He moved to the edge of the bed, eyeing the exposed sliver of tan skin he could see.

Naruto noticed. "Pervert."

"Do you want me to turn on the hot tub or not?"

It wasn't much of a threat since he was already getting to his feet.

"Yes." Naruto, with his hand under his head, glanced up at him casually.

"Do you think I'll always do whatever you say?" He asked.

"Not at all." Naruto grinned. "But I do think you're the type of guy who, if a friend was hurt, you'd be there to help. I'm happy to take advantage of that since it's not too serious an injury."

"That's not very Christian of you," he mumbled, sliding his hands into his pockets. "It's not often someone has me so wrapped around their finger."

Another one of those strange looks crossed Naruto's face, and then he became flustered.

"I'm kidding," Sasuke told him.

"Oh. I knew that. Would you mind taking this so I can get up?" Naruto handed him the bag of (water), so Sasuke took it into the bathroom and poured it into the sink.

When he returned to the bedroom, Naruto was on his feet. Sasuke had stopped to lean against the doorframe.

"How does it feel?" He asked.

"Better because of the ice," Naruto answered. "The Coke helped, too. Thank you."

Sasuke tried not to blush since he seemed so sincerely grateful. "I'll head out to the deck and see if I can get it working."

"Do you want my help?"

Taking a step into the room, Sasuke shook his head. "I only have to uncover it and turn it on. It'll take a while to heat up, so sit there and relax."

"Is this because I'm crippled?" Naruto smirked.

"It's because you're careless and went down a trail I told you not to."

"Tch. Where's the fun in following the rules? I'm a decent athlete, you know. For not really playing any sports. Is volleyball a sport?"

"Barely," Sasuke replied as he slipped on his tennis shoes

"Jerk." Naruto came over and tried to tip him sideways while he tied his laces.

"Cut it out." He stood up, which brought them face to face. Unfortunately, he was having one of those moments where he thought Naruto to be extraordinarily attractive. "...Naruto."

"Yeah?"

He ached to move that one piece of hair behind his ear. "You need a haircut."

"I do?" Naruto frowned. "Where'd that come from?"

"You're looking more like your dad."

"My dad's not a horrible looking guy."

"No," said Sasuke. "He's not."

"You're not going to tell me you have a thing for my dad, are you?"

"If I did," he replied. "That might make my mom jealous."

Naruto snorted much to his amusement.

"Besides," Sasuke continued and, forgetting he wasn't going to, took hold of those strands of hair and tucked them behind Naruto's ear, "I'm not a huge fan of your father's right now."

Naruto's lips parted slightly. "...No?"

Sasuke let his arm drop at his side. "No."

"U-um." Naruto started looking everywhere but at him. "What should I wear?"

"What?"

"Into the hot tub I mean... since I don't have swim trunks."

"Boxers?" He suggested. "You're welcome to get in naked if you prefer. I won't complain."

"Heh." Naruto, his cheeks rather red, rubbed at the back of his head. "Maybe if it was a dare."

"Right. I forget how modest you are."

"Why, would you get in without any clothes?"

"If it's clean enough, sure. Who knows what will be under there once I remove the cover."

Naruto chuckled nervously. "They... probably check that."

"Naruto," he said, when the blond kept squirming under his gaze. "It was only a joke. I have an extra pair of boxers if you need some or... if you brought a thong instead."

"Thong?" Naruto snorted again and, this time, shoved him in the chest, sending Sasuke back a step. "Are you listenin' to yourself? You need to jerk off soon. You've got sex on the brain."

"Soon, yes," he agreed. "But not with you around."

"Prude," Naruto mumbled, staring at him with those stupidly gorgeous blue eyes.

"Stop looking at me like that... I need to go start your hot tub."

"How am I looking at you?"

"You probably don't want to know," he replied.

"Hmm."

"Wear your underwear. You can borrow a pair of mine when we get out."

"...Alright."

He went over to the door that led out onto the shared deck. There was still no sign of guests in the adjoining cabin, so that was lucky. He flipped on the porch light and decided the hot tub might not be such a bad idea if it was something that would make Naruto happy.

Sasuke was looking up at the star-filled sky when the back door opened.

"Is it ready yet?" Naruto asked, peeking his head out.

"Didn't you just ask me that a few minutes ago? I'll come and get you when it's ready."

"Yeah, but I haven't been in one in forever. Plus, it's boring in there waiting on my own."

"You are a needy thing, aren't you?" He walked over to him, expression smug. "You should've invited your one friend to stop by tonight."

"Oh… I didn't think of that." Naruto frowned. "Why didn't I think of that?"

He shrugged. "Didn't want to share me with her?"

Naruto squinted at him. "Are you drunk?"

"If only."

"I have my ID, so if that lodge sells alcohol, I could–"

"No. No alcohol for you," he said. "No phones either. Nothing that stresses you out. Go change, put on a robe, and you'll be the first I tell when it's ready."

"Hmph."

"Only a few more minutes, I promise." Sasuke put a hand to his chest and pushed him back inside. "You don't have a coat, so stay in."

Naruto was smiling. "You're kinda bossy and… weird tonight."

"How shall I respond to that?"

"Dunno." Naruto glanced toward the woods. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're giddy 'cause I hurt myself tryin' to be cool."

"You think I like it when you're hurt?" Sasuke lost some of that good humor he'd been feeling.

"No." Looking at him again, Naruto's eyes moved back and forth searchingly. "Sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

"Maybe you're the one being strange?"

"Maybe." Naruto rubbed his lips together, an appealing gesture to him. "I'll go back inside like you said."

"Good boy." He smiled to show there were no hard feelings.

Naruto put a hand to his chest and pushed him away this time. "Stop bein' horny around me. It's unsettling... and makes you oddly charming."

He smirked. "It must be all this fresh mountain air. Being able to snowboard felt good today."

"Good." Naruto smiled at him. "Then I'm glad you were able to do your own thing without me to hold you back."

"You're the one who told me to fuck off."

"I–" Naruto lowered his voice. "I did not tell you to fuck off. I'd never tell you to fuck off, except maybe that one time I was mad and told you to fuck off."

"If I were you, I'd tell me to fuck off sometimes, too. I'm not offended. We can go up again in the morning if you want. You can show me the skills you learned while you were leeching onto that woman and her girlfriend."

"Really?" Naruto seemed excited at the prospect. "Alright."

Sasuke studied him under the porch light, a strange sensation overcoming him because Naruto looked so happy. "I'll check the water. Go change and come back out in…" He glanced over his shoulder to check. "Two minutes. I'll turn the jets on."

"You're not comin' in?"

"I thought you'd like your privacy."

Naruto appeared as though he would argue, but apparently changed his mind. "I'll be right back."

When he was alone again, Sasuke turned on the jets. It had been a good idea to suggest getting away today. He'd thought it would be nice for Naruto, so that he could (they both could, rather) get their minds off of the things they'd talked about last night. For Sasuke, he'd soon be back on campus for the semester, which meant he could veritably do whatever he wanted. Naruto, on the other hand, would be stuck in town, working at the church, and having to spend time with his dad. Then again, Naruto made friends easily, so if he wasn't spending all his time with Sasuke, he could meet new people.

Five minutes later and Naruto came out again, dressed in one of the robes from the bathroom and a pair of boxers. He didn't have the robe tied all the way.

"You look like you're coming from the Playboy mansion," Sasuke commented.

"You're funny. But, yeah, I don't think I'd spend my time somewhere so tacky."

"Is it safe to assume such women wouldn't be your type then?"

"Not really." Naruto came and stood by his side. "Though I don't consider myself picky."

"You are, though," Sasuke replied, trying not to let his eyes wander down to Naruto's muscled chest and flat stomach. "You're surprisingly picky."

"How would you know that?"

"Just a guess. Are you going to get in?"

"Don't you want me to wait for you?" Naruto asked.

"No. I did it for you, so get in," he replied. "I'll go change."

He knocked into Naruto's shoulder on his way inside the cabin. Quickly, he removed his jeans and shirt, not wanting to leave Naruto alone for long. Sasuke took a second or two to glance at himself in the mirror. He ran a hand through his hair, smoothing it out some flyaways and having thoughts about Naruto he should try to get under control. It's not as if he could help it. They'd had a good day. Sasuke liked spending time with him. He liked teasing him, too.

After he grabbed a robe and a couple of towels, he went back outside. Sasuke took off his robe, threw it on one of the chairs, and got into the hot tub. Naruto looked relaxed already. They sat across from one another, sharing a view of the woods, moon, and a sky full of stars.

"This is the life." Naruto sighed in contentment. "I wonder if I could put a hot tub in my backyard. I guess I could if I buy the house."

"You can ask your landlord when we get back."

"Yeah, but it's not fun when it's just you. Wouldn't that be kinda sad?"

"Once I'm gone, there'll be more opportunity to make friends," he said.

Naruto didn't reply. He gazed up at the sky, instead.

"You do realize I have to come back to school," Sasuke told him.

"I'm aware," Naruto answered. "You keep remindin' me, after all."

"You're welcome to visit anytime."

"Nah. You have stuff goin' on here."

Sasuke set his arms along the sides of the hot tub and stretched out his legs. "You don't want to see me again?"

Naruto gazed at him pointedly. "That's a dumb question."

"Why?"

"I don't wanna talk about it," Naruto huffed and returned to staring at the night sky.

After that, a tension settled between them. Sasuke had been kidding, but Naruto's tone was throwing him off. Was it wrong to wonder how Naruto felt about him or whether he'd miss him once he was back at school? Normally, he thought it easy to tell how Naruto felt about people. At least it had been with his friends and with Neji and Sakura. However, Sasuke couldn't say for sure how Naruto felt about him. That aspect of their friendship hadn't changed.

"That's not fair," he said after a few minutes of silence. "Did it ever occur to you that maybe I want to hear you'll miss me?"

Naruto glanced at him. "Of course I'll miss you. That's why I don't want to talk about it."

Sasuke frowned, but then Naruto moved to his side of the hot tub, close enough that their skin seemed to be touching in far too many places.

"Why do you look so upset?" Naruto asked. "Sasuke?"

He shook his head. "I don't know. Maybe it's frustrating sometimes. Not knowing what you're thinking or how you feel about me. Not even simple, uncomplicated things like 'do you like me'."

"Huh? What do you mean you don't know if I like you? I've said it several times. I even said it this morning."

"Let's talk about something else," he said, wishing Naruto wasn't sitting right on top of him.

"Why?" Naruto sounded surprised, which annoyed him further. "Don't close off on me."

"That's funny coming from you," he replied.

"Sasuke." Naruto's voice was almost a whisper.

Sasuke had to shut his eyes. Dammit.

"Don't be mad," Naruto pleaded. "I don't know what I said to totally change your mood right now. I just didn't wanna talk about somethin' that sucks and can't be changed."

"Of course you don't," he said bitterly. "You never do."

The water splashed when Naruto pulled his knees to his chest and sighed. "I'm sorry. Tell me what I did."

"You didn't do anything. Don't worry about it."

"I don't know what to say," Naruto mumbled. "I don't even wanna think about it yet. That's sort of what getting away was about? I'm grateful to you for bringing me here. You're different than anyone I've ever met. We've spent nearly every day together for the past two weeks, and I'm not tired of you at all. I can't speak for you about any of that, or whether you feel the same, so… what can I do?"

Sasuke shifted, trying to put some space between them. "I don't want you to do anything. I shouldn't have brought it up."

"...Okay." Naruto nodded. "I guess I don't know what's okay to do with you. Do I hug you more? Should I be more affectionate? Should I really be telling you all the things I think about you in my head? You're harder to read than other people, and maybe I..."

Sasuke regarded him coolly while Naruto searched for the words he wanted.

"I don't know," Naruto ended up saying, shaking his head. "Honestly. I don't know how to categorize you."

"Categorize?" He asked, glancing at him seriously. "What does that mean?"

"Nothing. Nevermind." Naruto let out a frustrated sigh. "See, this is why I didn't want to talk about it because I don't see the point."

"Just like you didn't see a point in answering whether you thought I was attractive or not. Oh, sorry, whether you're attracted to me." He knew he sounded bitter, but it felt like he was being rejected all over again.

"...Is that what this is about?"

"It's only one example of how it's hard to get a straight answer out of you. I get it now, though. It's not because you're as oblivious as you pretend to be. It's because you don't want to think about it, but that hurts in its own way, Naruto. Will you forget about me when my break ends and I go back to school? Is this it for us? Even as friends? You're so afraid of what might happen, that you won't even bother humoring me by talking about it."

"That's selfish, too, don't you think?" Naruto asked. "It sounds like you want to be confessed to just to sate your ego when we both know nothing could come of it."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed at him in surprise. "What…? What did you just say?"

"It was only an example," Naruto replied, using his words from earlier. "I know you know what I mean."

"No. I'm afraid I don't know what you mean. The thought of what…?" He turned toward him, bringing their sides into contact again.

Sasuke wasn't sure, but he was now desperately trying to gauge what the fuck Naruto was on about and whether he wasn't right on the money.

"Like, oh, I don't know. You and me dating. I said it was only an example and meant it. I care about you, I like bein' with you, but things are gonna be different soon, and your life is going to be an improvement, and mine will go back to the same thing, which is fine."

"This is… all I wanted to hear you say," Sasuke murmured, head fuzzy either from the heat or Naruto's mention of the two of them together.

Naruto's brows lifted. "Which part? The part that I care about you and that I'll miss you, or–"

"Naruto," he cut him off since he was coming frighteningly close to having a heart attack. "I know I suck at expressing myself. Feelings… the thought of talking about them makes me cringe, but with you–"

He searched Naruto for answers, considering admitting the things he'd been holding inside… only to remember that this trip hadn't been about pushing himself on Naruto. They were friends and nothing more. He shut his eyes. This was stupid of him. He was supposed to be the one making Naruto feel better, safer. He didn't want to pressure him like Sai. They could always discuss this when it was closer to the time he'd have to leave.

The water splashed around them, and thinking Naruto was about to get out because he was mad, Sasuke opened his eyes only to find him almost in his lap. He touched Sasuke's cheek, his expression curious and affectionate.

"What are you doing?" Sasuke asked so quietly it was surprising Naruto heard.

"Trying to figure out what you want me to do."

Naruto started to lean in, but Sasuke, panicking, placed a hand to his chest.

"No," he said.

"No?" Naruto immediately backed off, his cheeks turning red. "Sorry, I guess I thought–" He covered his mouth, embarrassed. "I'm so sorry, Sasuke."

Sasuke could barely hear him over the sound of his racing heart.

"No, it's..." He started to explain only to fail miserably. "It's just… you've had a long day, so…"

What the hell had he just done? Why did he push Naruto away? What the fuck was wrong with him?

Rightfully, Naruto looked at him like he was an idiot.

"Is this because of what I told you about me?" Naruto asked.

"No, it's..." He couldn't find the right words. "Maybe we should... forget this ever happened."

"What?" Naruto asked angrily. "You're the one who made a big deal about wanting to know how I feel about you. You've made me think you were interested this whole time, and now–" He stopped himself and took in a deep breath. "Whatever. I'm getting out."

He didn't try to stop him. Instead, Sasuke glared at the water, teeth clenching when he heard the door slam. He was desperately trying to understand what the hell had just happened. He didn't think there was any merit in what Naruto had said about this being tied to their earlier conversation. All he knew was that he'd freaked out at the mere hint of Naruto having feelings for him. Even if he'd practically forced Naruto into admitting something, anything.

Sasuke fisted his hands at his sides. "God dammit."

Maybe he was selfish. That was hardly a question, really. But, what should he do now?

Because he honestly didn't think he could've fucked that up more if he'd tried.

TBC... eventually