Meredith couldn't pinpoint the exact moment her world stopped. Was it when the knock came at the front door? Was it when she opened it to find two police officers there? Or was it when they told her there had been an accident? Or really, was it arriving in the dingy, forgotten medical center that had made it all connect in her brain and finally seem real to her? She might never know.

The two officers at her door had been extremely understanding and comforting as the woman in the doorway haunched over in deep sobs. They stepped inside and led her to the couch, one officer on either side of her, to tell her what had happened. One described to her the situation, that Derek had been a hero, before an on-coming truck slammed into him. He also told her that Derek was alive, critical but alive. They offered to take her to Dillard and she tried to calm down. The children were upstairs and she needed to calm down in order to wake them up and wrangle them into the back of a police car.

Meredith composed herself the best she could, before standing up from the couch and heading upstairs to the kids bedrooms. For the umpteenth time today, she wanted to puke. Halfway to Zola's room, she took a detour into one of the bathrooms to do just that. She knew what was wrong with her, but now with Derek potentially half dead, now was not the time. First she woke up Zola, stroking her back gently. When her daughter opened her eyes she smiled. "Hey baby girl, we have to go somewhere okay? We have to go visit daddy, I know it's late and you're sleepy, but you can sleep once you're there," she said, her voice warm and motherly, trying to mask how scared she was. Zola sat up and Meredith didn't do much, just picked her up out of her bed before going to get Bailey out of his crib. That was harder; he needed a diaper change, but within less than 15 minutes, both kids were out of bed with shoes and coats on and downstairs. Meredith grabbed her own coat and on second thought, grabbed the stroller for Bailey. She looked at the two cops as she handled the diaper bag, sighing heavily. "Let's go," she said, her brain thinking up all of the horrible possibilities and scenarios Derek could be in right now. She'd never even heard of this hospital he had been brought to, and that meant, according to her medical snobbery, it was a piece of crap, which worried her even more. She'd have him transferred to Grey-Sloan as soon as possible.

The ride to Dillard seemed to take forever. They seemed to hit every red light, plus this place seemed to be literally on the opposite side of Seattle, or 'in the sticks' as her mother would've called it. When they finally arrived and Meredith assessed the place, she shook her head. This was no place for Derek to be, if he had the injuries she had been told he had. She rushed out of the car, thanking the police officers for their kindles, plopping a sleeping Bailey into the stroller and dashing inside, Zola holding her hand. There was a social worker waiting for her, to watch the kids, and as she approached Derek's room in the ICU, a doctor approached her. "Mrs. Shepherd," she greeted her, Meredith's eyes wandering past her into Derek's room. "It's actually Dr. Grey," she corrected, somewhat harshly, but she just wanted to see Derek. "Oh, um, I'm sorry. Dr. Grey," she mousy resident fumbled. Dr. Blake, said her nametag. She hated the woman already. She fumbled too much, she didn't seem confident of herself, and Meredith needed a doctor who was confident. Meredith stared at her for a moment. "Well? What did you need to tell me? Because I need to be with my husband right now," she said, brushing past her and entering the room.

Meredith had seen patients in bad shape before. She had seen them in critical shape, she had seen them on the edge of dying. But nothing could have prepared her to see her husband in this shape. There were tubes and wires coming out of him everywhere. He was intubated, but she could tell he was breathing on his own around it, and knew it was just a precaution. He was bruised from head to toe, his head wrapped in a bandage from the surgery from his brain bleed, sutures all over his body. His right arm was broken, and Meredith could only imagine what else was broken. She noticed a cast poking out from the sheets on his left leg and wrinkled her nose. He was peacefully sleeping, knocked out from pain meds and in a medically induced coma. She picked up his chart and leafed through it, confirming her suspicions. Brain activity, great sinus rhythms, coded a few times but they had gotten him back. The induced coma and intubation were just so he had time to heal. But he was alive. Derek was here and alive.

Meredith didn't know she was crying until the papers beneath her blurred and were slightly wet. This wasn't the best case situation, but he was alive, and that's what was most important. He would have a long recovery ahead of him but all signs pointed to him living and that was literally the most important thing to Meredith.

She moved over to his bedside and moved a chair over to him, touching a hand to his cheek. "Hey you. I heard you were a hero today," she said with a small smile, leaning in to kiss his forehead. "Always have to be the hero don't you?" she laughed a bit, shaking her head. "You're going to be okay, Derek, I promise. It may not seem like it right now but I promise you'll be okay," she said, taking a deep breath. It was hard, so hard, for her to see him like this, even after everything they'd been through as a couple, but she knew this was just another thing they'd get through as a couple. "I'll be back in a few minutes Derek," she whispered, getting up and leaving the room, trying to see if Dr. Blake was there. She spotted her immediately.

"Hi, Dr. Blake, I'd like Derek transferred to Grey Sloan Memorial immediately, it's where we work and they can give him better care," she said bluntly. At the moment all formalities were out the window. She wanted what was best for Derek, and Grey Sloan was the best. Dr. Blake looked sort of blind sighted by this, but nodded anyway. "I'll have my attending do the transfer and hopefully he'll be moved over by the morning." "Good," Meredith said brusquely, turning swiftly on her heel to turn back into the room. She was a Grey, and a Shepherd. When she wanted things done she got things done. She was called Medusa for a reason.

Meredith sat back down in the chair next to Derek, taking his hand and calling Amelia. It was just after 1am here, which made it 4am in NYC…She knew Carolyn would want to know but she couldn't bring herself to call her yet. Amelia would have to be first.

Her sister-in-law answered on the first ring. Of course she was awake, she was probably with Owen, or checking on her post-ops at the hospital, or just generally being Amelia and keeping up with her crazy all-nighters. She technically lived at their house but she was barely there at the same time Meredith and Derek were.

"Amy, hi," she said, taking a deep breath. "There's been an accident…Derek's in critical condition, he had a brain bleed, but he's stable, he's going to be okay," she said, tears forming in her eyes again as she explained the situation to Amelia. "I'm having him transferred to Grey-Sloan, they're arranging for a transport, oh god Amelia this is horrible," she sobbed. Her rock-hard exterior was crumbling. "I need you to come to Dillard and pick up the kids. You can absolutely see Derek, I just need you to get the kids so I can be with Derek." Amelia agreed to come, and in under an hour she was striding through the doors of his ICU room, a small cry coming from her mouth. Derek was her rock, the reason she was still alive. He was her big brother, her protector, and to see him in a hospital bed, hooked up to life support and so many tubes and wires...it was a lot. Meredith jumped up and the two sisters held each other for a few minutes, just riding out the waves of pain they both felt. She let Amelia sit with him while she went to check on the kids with the social worker. Bailey was asleep in his stroller while Zola was sound asleep on the social workers lap and Meredith took a sigh of relief. "My sister in law is here to relieve you," she said with a small smile, grateful for the social worker at the moment. She had given her time, time to be with her husband and time to process, time to figure out where to go from here. She walked back into Derek's room and Amy stood up, ready to take the kids home.

"I really really appreciate you watching the kids Amy, I promise to keep you updated if anything changes," she said with a small sigh. Once Amy left with Zola and Bailey, Meredith clutched her phone. It was now 5:30 in NYC. Was it still too early to call? Probably not, considering this was Carolyn's only son and one of her children. Meredith knew she would want to be contacted if this was one of her children. She hesitantly picked up her phone and called her mother in law, who naturally picked up on the first ring. If someone in Seattle was calling at 2:30 in the morning, she knew something was wrong. Meredith tearfully told Carolyn what had happened, and Carolyn, amazing woman she was, booked a flight for later that day. Meredith still wasn't used to having a mother that cared so much, but she was ready. She knew she couldn't do this alone, she needed all the help and support she could get.

After a long, sleepless night, Meredith was woken up around 7 by the doctors doing rounds. She was usually the one doing rounds, but this morning she sat back and let them do what they had to do. They adjusted the vent according to his natural breathing, and checked his sedation, choosing to keep it where it was to give him some time to heal. They explained this to her, and she resisted the urge to roll her eyes, resisted the urge to tell them that she was a doctor, a surgeon even, one of the best in her field. Once they left she lay her head down on the bed and closed her eyes. This was exhausting, and they were just getting exhausted. He would need extensive physical therapy to walk again, and probably cognitive therapy. You don't just walk away from being hit nearly head on by a truck without needing extensive therapy.

The next thing she knew there was a tap on the glass doorway and she shot up in her seat. It was transport and she had to smile slightly. Anything to get the hell out of this horrible place. They didn't even have a trauma center! How the hell do you bring someone with obvious trauma to a hospital without a trauma center!? The transport people gently but quickly moved Derek to their gurney, moving all of his tubes and wires as well. Meredith gathered her things and walked behind them to the ambulance bay, watching as they carefully lifted him into the ambulance, and helped her in too. She was used to ambulances by now, but as a doctor, not as the wife of the patient. They drove across the city, with Meredith frantically paging or texting everyone at Grey Sloan to prepare for their impending arrival. She wanted to be sure that Derek would get the best care possible when they arrived. Once the texts had gone out she sighed, reaching for his hand and giving it a tight squeeze. How had they ended up here? Just a day ago he was heading to DC to quit the brain mapping project, and now he was beaten to a pulp and in a medically induced coma.

As soon as the ambulance arrived at Grey-Sloan, Meredith climbed out followed by Derek on the gurney. She was trying to stay calm, really she was, but when she was met by Owen and Bailey, she couldn't keep it together anymore. Bailey pulled her aside and took the sobbing wife into her arms, while Owen shouted out orders and brought him up to a room in the ICU. Bailey quickly brought Meredith to a wayward on-call room so the poor woman could cry it out, knowing she'd been awake since yesterday morning.

"Bailey it's just not fair," she wailed, shaking her head back and forth. "If he dies from this, I will never recover," she admitted, looking down at the floor and trying to catch her breath. She had two – no three – children that she needed to be there for, to be strong for, to take care of. Bailey left her to gather herself together, and for the first few minutes she cried as hard as she could, not even caring if people cold hear her. Screw them. They didn't have a half-dead husband upstairs in the ICU. After shedding all of her tears and feeling like she couldn't try anymore, she worked on fixing herself up. She didn't have any makeup on her, not like she was here to impress anyone, but she stepped into the bathroom to throw cold water on her face and make sure it wasn't red and blotchy. She gripped the sink, a wave of nausea washing over her, quickly turning around and heaving bile into the toilet – there wasn't anything in her stomach to throw up, but damn, her morning sickness was here with a vengeance. She had to guess she was around 5 or 6 weeks, since the morning sickness had just started. Standing up from the floor, she wiped her mouth with a paper towel, disposing of it and then heading upstairs.

Once in the ICU, she was surrounded by doctors and nurses she knew. But today, she wasn't Dr. Grey. She was Mrs. Shepherd, and her husband was in critical condition. She easily found his room, which wasn't occupied by just him, but by Jackson, Hunt, April, and several other doctors who she didn't know intimately and wasn't friends with.

"Here's Dr. Grey," Hunt said, giving Meredith a smile that she knew was just for show. Derek seemed to look a bit better, but maybe it was the brighter white of Grey Sloan instead of the dingy gray of Dillard. "Hi Dr. Hunt," Meredith mumbled, trying to remember to breathe in and out as much as possible, but this was Derek. Love of her life, move mountains for, have a million babies for, Derek. Nothing could happen to him from now on, he couldn't die. He had to make it. She knew the first 24 hours were the most crucial, and so far in the first 12 things were looking promising. But she was a surgeon, she had even been a neurosurgeon for a bit, she was even thinking of returning to the specialty, and she knew the odds and the facts. She moved into the room further and pulled up a seat next to his bed as their friends adjusted his medications and such.

"Meredith, he's doing well for being t-boned by an 18 wheeler. He made it through surgery, he has broken bones. They got rid of the brain bleed, they fixed his intestines, he's doing pretty well all things considered", Owen said to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. "You're one of us, you know the odds and what everything means. You know the first 24 hours are the most important, and honestly…they patched him up well. Now we wait for him to wake up. We'll be in in an hour," he continued, before all doctors turned and left. Meredith stared at their retreating figures, before turning back to Derek and leaning her head against one of his bedrails. Her stomach was queasy and she needed food or water or something, but she didn't want to move, she couldn't move. She couldn't miss a moment of anything with him.

After at least half an hour her phone went off; it was Amelia. She had gotten the kids ready and was dropping them off at the hospital daycare before coming up to see Derek. Meredith braced herself for more tears. She also got a text from Carolyn, saying her flight got in at noon, she knew the way to the house, but she was coming to the hospital first. Meredith replied to both women, before closing her eyes her eyes again. Soon enough Hunt was back, along with Maggie, and Meredith blearily looked up at the chief and her sister. Maggie being here meant that something was wrong with his heart, something they had skipped over. She knew he had coded in the ambulance on the way to Dillard, and a few times at Dillard, but they had obviously gotten him back. "Good afternoon Meredith," Maggie said, giving her a small smile before going over to her sister and giving her a hug. "I just wanted to do an EKG on him, since he coded in the ER, I also wanted to do an echocardiogram to check even more indepth," she explained. Meredith nodded, accepting the forms that Maggie handed her. She knew she was the one who had to sign off on everything, seeing as how she was Derek's wife. It sobered her in that moment, knowing that she currently had power of attorney over everything until he was able to make decisions for himself. She took a deep breath and signed the multiple forms, before handing them over to Maggie. A nurse came in within the next few minutes with the EKG machine, placing the stickers all over Derek's body and hooking him up to the leads. The test only took a minute and Meredith prayed to whatever higher power was out there that everything came back okay. She figured Maggie was called to another patient, so she put down her head on the bed and waited until someone else came in again.

Somehow it was evening, and Meredith was woken up by the sun setting through the blinds of the ICU room. Derek was still under sedation, the vent still helping him breathe, and she sighed, picking up her head. She knew it might take awhile for him to wake up and even longer for him to get to the place where he could talk and be mobile, but he had brain activity, she knew he was breathing somewhat on his own over the intubation. It was just all of his injuries, and then all of his injuries combined. Even as a doctor it seemed almost catastrophic to him, but at the same time she had seen patients worse off, leave the hospital healthy after a few weeks. Opening her eyes, she saw Derek still asleep, but on the other side of the bed was Carolyn Shepherd. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and picked up her head. "Hi," she croaked, offering her a small smile across the bed. Carolyn gave her one back, before looking at her broken and beaten son, rubbing her thumb across the back of his hand. "Meredith, you should eat, or at least drink something," she said, knowing the girl hadn't left his bedside in at least 36 hours, if not more. All Meredith could do was wrinkle her nose. Eating was the last thing on her mind, as was drinking anything, but she knew that she needed to do both for herself and the baby. Her stomach was rolling with nausea even though she hadn't eaten in a day and a half and she sighed, shrugging her shoulders. Carolyn regarded her one last time with a smile. "I'm going to head back to the house and relieve Amelia of the kids. Get some rest, okay?" she said, standing up and wrapping Meredith in a tight hug. "I will," Meredith promised. There was a couch on the other side of the room, and one of her friends had left a few pillows and a pile of blankets on it. She would rather spend the night holding Derek's hand, but she knew she needed some real sleep. With a small sigh she stood up from the reclining chair, leaning over and giving Derek a kiss on his forehead before flipping out of her shoes and making up a bed for herself on the couch, positioning herself so she could lay on her side and watch him.

Meredith swore she wasn't tired, but the next thing she knew she was jolted out of her sleep to the sound of several alarms going off, and nurses rushing into the room.

Derek was coding.

Thank you for reading my new fic! If you haven't yet, read the last chapter of Seasons of Love :) Chapters for this may not be posted as quick as they were for Seasons as Love as they're so much more in depth and I have a full time job and I'm taking 3 classes for winter semester at school, and four for spring semester :O But I love writing and I have so much to do with this story! Read and review please! Also, I'm so sorry for all the confusion! I realized I hadn't edited the original document, then I realized it wasn't the finished document, so I just decided to post it as a brand new story. So sorry! This is the final story, follow and review this one :)