Theme: Firsts/Lasts

From the very beginning, he already knew

They were introduced in their childhood.

She was cute, was his first thought when he saw her.

"Hello," she said to him shyly.

He wanted to be her friend.

Just a month later, Neji learned to hate and Hinata began to feel shame.

He drew first blood from her. The fear from her eyes empowered him and Hinata realized she was truly alone.

They didn't speak for many years.

…

Her first love was Naruto Uzumaki.

It was painful but it fostered her resolve. Neji stood back and watched. It was pitiful to see her chase the man who leaped farther in strength than anyone could.

But his fight with Naruto made him face the truth. Many things changed after two years and Neji vowed never to make her afraid anymore. They often train together and share tea on a quiet afternoon. Her hair grew longer. The cursed mark on his forehead remained covered. While his hatred faded, he still begrudged the hierarchy. While she maintained her title, she knew power could not divide them anymore.

It was her face that he saw last before the day ended and it was him that Hinata always found when the sun rose. At that moment of time, there was peace between them.

Then the war broke out.

Naruto was their only hope and Neji watched as Sakura Haruno frantically tend to him after a hard battle. He looked for Hinata among the spectators. He resorted to the Byakugan when he couldn't find her and it disappeared when he heard her voice. Neji turned. Hinata was pushing through the crowds. "Neji-niisan," she cried. He met her halfway, noting with dismay the bruises on her skin. He stiffened when her arms came around him. "You're safe," she murmured.

It was then Neji discovered she was his first and only love.

…

His first sexual partner was a nin from the Sand village.

Her impressive body had caught his attention. Her chest was comparable to Hinata's and to his surprise, she approached him.

He glanced at Hinata. She was mooning over Naruto's disappearance yet again. He accepted her invitation that night. He didn't remember much; just the feel of skin sliding against skin, the building pressure from below, the breath knocked out of him at the end. He wasn't an entirely selfish lover, Neji thought afterwards. The exploration of a woman's body was completely intriguing and it was the thought of Hinata that motivated him to touch and feel.

They didn't talk as they dressed. She tried giving him a goodbye kiss, but Neji turned his head away. He had no intention of anything more. When it came to his lifelong desires, he could be patient for Hinata. His uniform was messily done as he escorted her out. It was his misfortune that Hinata had caught the woman leaving his tent in the dead of night. He froze when Hinata was in view, a blanket in her arms. Her mouth was parted, her eyes wide. She quickly turned away.

The Sand nin strolled into the night and Neji was left in the cold, his gut clenching as Hinata went further away. His body's needs were sated and it wasn't just regret settling in. A dark part of him felt fulfilled that even if Hinata didn't know how he felt, how she didn't look at him as often as Naruto, he spited her in return.

"Hinata-sama," he said to her the next morning. "Where are we stationed today?"

He tried not to flinch when she didn't meet his eyes. "I think we're providing support to Naruto's group today."

His mood worsened. As soon as she said his name, she was drifting away again. She never mentioned the encounter and Neji concluded it didn't matter to her. The feeling only lasted a short while but Neji sought for it again, if only to erase the image of Hinata holding Naruto's hand as they stood together in the battlefield.

They pass each other by the river.

He had stripped off the heavy uniformed sweater, leaving him in an undershirt. The night air didn't chill him as he went towards her. She neglected to put on the vest and he fought the urge to admire her form. She was drying her hair in careful motions with a damp towel. He tried not to imagine how it swiped down her body.

"Oh, Neji-niisan," she said. She noticed what he held. "There's no one there," she offered.

Neji already knew. He had checked the surroundings and stood guard as she bathed. "Have you finished your report?" he asked.

"Yes." Then it meant she was free to do what she wanted, an unpredictable factor Neji was uncomfortable with. As he dreaded over where she would be next, her voice brought him back. "Are you busy later?" she asked nervously, not quite looking at him.

His heart sank. "I'm free whenever you need me," Neji said, forcing his voice to remain steady. He needed to be careful. Hinata was easily influenced and it could ruin his chances once her love for Naruto was over.

"It's fine if you have other things to do," she said slowly. "I – I wanted to know if you'd like to accompany me to the next camp site."

Relief shouldn't have overwhelmed him so much. "Of course."

She smiled and briefly touched his forearm in passing. He nodded a goodbye as she went away, a little quicker than he would have liked.

He felt the first stirrings of hope. It was also the first time Hinata considered Neji as a man.

…

At the eve of battle, she was the last thought he had before death nearly claimed him. To Neji's surprise, it was Hinata who he first saw after waking up. She was exhausted, but there was strength in her that he admired. Her hands were trembling and it took all he had to reach out to assure her, savoring the warmth of her skin after the cold grip of darkness.

Before rebuilding, the entire Alliance gathered. The celebration was large and loud.

He searched for her. A touch on his arm and her soft whisper of, "Neji-niisan," had him turning. She looked tired, her clothes worn. But it was her smile that made his chest ache. "We did it," she said.

Neji pulled her in a hard embrace. The reassuring beat of her heart, the warmth of her body, all of her that still lived. Her hands tentatively settled around him and there was a quiet sigh. The world narrowed. Now he understood why Hinata embraced him after a long battle. The relief was paramount.

He drew back slowly, reluctant to remove his hands. Her smile remained and for a second, Neji thought her cheeks were red. He wasn't certain if it was shadows from the fire playing tricks.

The night went on and it was then discovered by the rest that Neji and Hinata Hyuuga were closer than they thought.

He wasn't the man to share her first kiss with.

After the war, Hinata knew everyone around her indulged in intimacy. To her, a simple kiss was extraordinary.

There was no one for Hinata to share it with. Just as she was losing hope of ever experiencing it, Kiba leaned too close and kissed her lips one day.

The world was suddenly bright.

Hinata was very aware of her feelings. Naruto was no longer her love and Kiba didn't sweep her off her feet. It was the act of a kiss that made her heart race. She yearned for that feeling again, to share that physical closeness.

It was the late afternoon when she returned and Neji appeared in front of her. "It's time, Hinata," he said. She followed him into the garden and watched his back. He wouldn't know about it. It was a secret buried in her heart, one that made her feel stronger. Hinata shifted to a stance. She wondered how many kisses Neji had stolen. From her memory of the war, he definitely experienced it. She felt strangely faint recalling it.

They trained.

At the end of the day, Hinata sat and watched the moon. Her thoughts returned to Kiba. Her fingers touched her lips and she remembered, how Kiba touched her face and their lips touched. It wasn't long before they discovered staying friends was for the better. Only Shino was privy to the short end of their relationship. "It was good, Hinata," Kiba had said with a smile.

She stood. There was going to be a time when she felt a kiss again. Someone would cherish and love her the way she dreamed of. Hinata turned back to the hallway and stopped. Neji stood there, a deep look in his eyes. It wasn't thoughtful and he brimmed with untold tension. He was undaunted by her gasp and held her gaze steadily.

She realized her fingers still touched her mouth. She lowered her hand. There was a slight down curve of his lips. He still hadn't said a word. To leave meant passing him by. Hinata gathered her courage and walked towards him. "Hello," she greeted.

His stare briefly dropped to her mouth and it returned, the small frown between his brows. "Good evening, Hinata," he said, sounding a bit edgy to her ears. "Did anything happen today?"

"No," she answered too quickly.

Something passed over his eyes. "I see." She thought he wouldn't say anymore until he mildly asked, "Were you with your team?"

Hinata hesitated. "Yes." The silence lengthened. "I – I'll go back now." she said.

He didn't move when she needed to pass him. To not show her anxiety, Hinata avoided his gaze. Her skin prickled when they touched. It was just a second of time, a brush of his skin against hers and it sent her pulse racing. It was a familiar feeling. She recognized it; the catch of her breath, a flush warming her skin and the tell-tale pound of her heart, all because of him.

Hinata quickly went to her room. If only she looked back to see Neji slam a fist to the wall.

…

It was her first promotion in years after becoming Chunin.

They celebrate.

She saw some familiar faces from the Sand village. An uneasy feeling came over her, but it faded once she spotted Neji turn to watch her entrance.

Sakura got to her first and ushered her to join the rest. Hinata declined a drink and darted her eyes to the side. Her nerves raced when she noticed how close the men were gathered in a circle, arguing and boasting. Curious, Hinata slightly shifted towards them. As if aware of her every movement, Neji mimicked it.

She froze. It was a habit from the war, she thought, but it didn't stop the fast beat of her heart.

"I want it done here." Naruto pointed at his leg. "Where's yours, Shikamaru?"

He shrugged. "Where the protocol dictates, Naruto."

"What? There's a protocol?"

"To ensure it's placed reasonably," Neji said.

She wondered if a tattoo was imprinted on his skin. He did rank high as a jounin, but rarely did Neji ever accept a mission assigned to the ANBU. It was the longest time he'd been away. "I don't think I'll need one." Naruto smiled. "I'm going to be the Hokage soon. And Sakura probably doesn't like –" a sudden coughing fit from Sakura silenced his next words. "You have one, Neji?" he hurriedly asked.

Hinata perked. His eyes flicked to her briefly and astonishingly, his lips curved. "That's not for you to know."

Her face flamed. There were more jabs and gossip that Hinata tuned out. It was the way he talked sometimes, an implication in his words. The thoughts returned again; if his kisses were aggressive, that he spared no expense to make her knees shake. She touched her mouth. Not once had she felt Kiba's tongue flick against hers. She wet her lips and froze when Neji watched her.

He looked at her not like his usual inspection, a hint of interest ghosting over his stare. Something twisted in her, as if wanting to know how he loved. Her thoughts scrambled, Hinata went to the refreshments table. She normally didn't indulge in alcohol and as Hinata was choosing what to drink, Neji's voice from behind said, "Congratulations, Hinata."

He appeared beside her. There was something different about him. Like there was a current beneath his skin, a glint in his eyes. "Thank you," she said, suddenly shy. "I'm glad to finally catch up with you and the others."

"You have a strength that far surpasses us," Neji said. "It's not just about skill. Never forget that."

Hinata smiled. It was the same words parroted to her during the war. Her hand absently reached for a glass when Neji smoothly intercepted it and handed her one of his choosing. As she brought it to her lips, Neji watched her, shadows in his eyes. "Neji," she began. "Is it alright if we postpone our training tomorrow?" At his silence, she grew nervous. "I need to go to the market," Hinata said, tucking a strand behind her ear.

"I'll come with you."

There were butterflies in her stomach. "Oh," she said. At his look, she explained, "I – I'll just be shopping for materials." He shook his head. "Don't you have a meeting?" she recalled.

Something in him sparked again, too quickly for her to believe it. "I'll go to you when I'm done."

"Alright," she stammered. "Tomorrow afternoon?"

He nodded and Hinata took another sip to hide a smile. Ino joined them, followed by Naruto and they were soon surrounded, the chatter drowning her. All the while she was conscious of Neji beside her, every brush of his cloth against her making her jump.

She felt something change between them.

…

Neji was determined.

Her love was taken, her friendship with others secured. They were from the same clan, but Kou was the first to swear loyalty to her. And undoubtedly, someone else had stolen her first kiss.

Neji forced his hands to unclench. It was his fault for allowing it to happen. His priority then was to improve Hinata's skill and that he did not regret. During the war, he fooled himself into thinking she'd outgrow her infatuation but her love for Naruto was strong. There were regrets from what followed.

Logically, Neji knew he shouldn't be angry. But he was.

It was admittedly harder than he realized once he decided to dedicate his time to her. She had witnessed that woman leaving his tent. All the implications pointed to what had transpired. Just like he noticed there was a far-off look in her eyes, how often she touched her lips and the smile that followed these past weeks. The revelation of it pierced him deeply.

It was a memory she was reliving, of someone that made her smile and it was more than one kiss.

Work had taken his attention until he broke away from it so he could train Hinata for her upcoming exam. They were apart during the day and his fear of someone else taking her away was becoming true. Now she was promoted and Neji had stayed by her side the entire celebration to ward off other men. It worked. He knew the glances she gave him, how careful she was watching him. He finally made an advance and to his relief, she accepted his company.

"You're in a rush. Do you have a date?" Naruto had hinted when Neji swiftly left the war room.

"No."

He snorted. "Thought so. You're either only working or training Hinata."

That would have earned a blow to the face, but Neji was already distracted with the thought of Hinata waiting.

The word 'date' sounded juvenile. Neji didn't date. He only loved and it was Hinata who he loved. It was the simple pleasure of being with her, none of those superficial arrangements.

She was waiting by a bench.

There was definitely a need to pursue her properly, he thought, watching her long hair sway from a breeze. If enduring near death for her didn't entice her then he suspected simple displays worked. He glowered at a cart of flowers. There were already many plants in the garden. Giving up, Neji went to her and touched her shoulder. "Neji," she said in surprise.

He didn't know when she started calling him without a title. He nudged his head. "Let's go. There aren't many people yet."

It was an ordinary errand. He shouldered all the bags and stood beside her as she browsed smaller stalls. It was completely unrelated, but it was her will so Neji let it be. There was a bad moment when he couldn't think of what to say when she tucked her hair to dangle earrings. "What about this?" she asked him shyly.

Neji cleared his throat. "It looks fine." When she turned away to inspect others, he berated himself for becoming easily flustered. He passed a glance over the display and fingered one. It was small but the hue of the gem complimented her perfectly. But when he brought it up to her, he froze. She was bent at the waist, looking at the rack. Neji quickly thought of what to say – to maybe suggest that this one suited her better. But… it sounded too bold.

Frustrated, Neji nearly crushed it. "Hinata." She looked at him and there was a glimmer in her eyes when she saw what he held. "This –" he began and cut off when she smiled. He was certain there was a matching redness of his face like hers. His mouth set in a firm line. Undeterred, Hinata took it from him and it was his imagination that her fingers trembled when they touched. He slipped the money to the shopkeeper before Hinata could and escorted her back, ignoring her protests. Once they stepped inside the compound, Hinata took one hesitant step forward. His arms opened involuntarily.

He froze and it was the awkwardness all over again, but she embraced him in return and it was so quick. She was hurrying back to her quarters and he stood there, astonished. He suspected Hinata began to consider him in a different light. And with that change, she was starting to note his interest.

He tested her when they were alone. It was a quiet afternoon and they stood in the garden. "You may have passed the exam, but your training isn't over," he told her.

She fidgeted. "I know."

She was having trouble understanding a concept. There was a slight thrumming in her throat when he came closer and his voice slowed. "You hold your weight on your knees," he told her, shifting his feet to hers, forcing her to move. She turned to him, asking a question but their faces were close and her voice trailed to a whisper. He searched her eyes. Her breath was held. He let a hand drift down her back. A beat of silence and Hinata stepped forward. A rush swept through him. She looked up in wonder and Neji closed the gap.

They were going to get it right this time.

He was there from the beginning and chose to be excluded from all her wonders of discovery. He felt the loss deep in his heart.

…

But he did take her virginity. And many, many more times after.

He enjoyed showing her the pleasures of lovemaking. Hinata knew what would happen but she didn't expect the sensations that spoke of his familiarity with a woman's body. The thought troubled her, but his mouth was tracing back down again and Hinata shivered.

He could see how it bothered her. "If," she began. "If I was with another before, then you wouldn't mind?"

The grip on her hair tightened. "The difference is that you're with me now," Neji said. "You don't need to think about that."

It wasn't what Hinata meant and she knew Neji purposely feigned ignorance. It was in his hard kiss and rough touch that told her how much the possibility disturbed him. She didn't know the rage in him when her love was taken the first time. He knew her first kiss was taken and Neji didn't ask who took it; he could never be civil with the man if he found out. To even consider her virginity taken by someone else had his blood boiling.

Thinking back, Neji felt a twinge of regret. His hands roamed over in apology, his adoration for her strong. "Hinata," he said to remind her who he cherished. There were many ways Neji could demonstrate his love. It was his preference that actions spoke louder than words. The scars on his body, the way he embraced her; his time was wholly devoted to her.

When it came to love, she gave so much and Neji selfishly took it all, the years of wanting not even sated. He was triumphant when she trembled in his arms, finding that aching pleasure.

After, they lay together. She faced him in sleep and Neji brushed her bangs. There was a line they crossed and nothing could ever be the same. Neji knew what he felt. He knew what Hinata wanted from him. They've spent their entire life apart and together, and here they were.

"I need you," he'd say to her as the sheets twisted around them.

"You're important to me," he'd argue when they fought. It didn't matter that she refused to speak with him, that he couldn't touch her in comfort, or that she wouldn't look at him. Neji could never let her believe she wasn't important. Now he couldn't say the words after the fight, fearing Hinata would only take it as a desperate act and Neji was thinking that exactly as the days passed.

"I can't live without you," he rasped, on his knees, finally broken without her.

She touched his face and his world returned. She said it with a kiss while he was motionless, stunned. When it finally registered, he hungrily returned her kiss and declared his love.

He was a coward, Neji thought wryly.

He'd take the first step to the next stage of their relationship.

He didn't become her husband. Contrary to expectations, she married someone else. It wasn't their first obstacle to overcome, but it was the hardest and most painful.

Those damned Elders managed to pull it off. He sat there as the officiator announced them husband and wife and his fists clenched when her lips were kissed. It was short for Hinata quickly turned her face away. He stood as the newlyweds passed through the crowds and dragged her into the shadows once the formality was done.

"Neji," she mumbled. "Wait, this dress–"

"It's beautiful," he said, kissing her lips and her arms naturally slid around his neck. "But you didn't wear it for me."

She couldn't say she was dismayed when it was ripped at the bottom. He hiked her up against the wall, hoisted her legs around him and Hinata shivered when they joined.

Later, they endured the celebration. Neji talked to no one and quietly watched the bride. They expected he'd object during the ceremony yet there wasn't even a vocal rebuke from him. They whispered his loyalty, that he would sacrifice his happiness for the clan.

Not likely.

There were suspicions that they were still lovers. It didn't bother him. Their bond was too strong and in the end, he would be the one to give her children. He knew this was written as their fate.

The arranged marriage allowed for some estrangement. She didn't share a room with her husband and no one was there to witness Neji slip into her room at the end of the day. She always said the words, "I love you," and it was enough for Neji to remain sane. Her spouse was somewhat jealous, his pride bruised that his wife sought someone else. It meant he was beginning to feel stirrings for Hinata. That needed to be prevented. Rumors already flamed over about their strange dynamic. If any of them were in the same room, Neji remained stoic and her husband never acknowledged him. The air was suffocated and Neji was triumphant whenever Hinata's attention came back to him.

"Hinata," he said. The familiarity made her husband twitch. "The Hokage sent you a message. I left it on your desk."

Hinata nodded. With Naruto as Hokage and his wife handling the hospital, her influence was being known.

Neji was planning all the while.

The Elders were agitated because he was a powerful nin, a prodigy who surpassed his clansmen. He was the perfect candidate for a spouse. Only Neji wouldn't consider anyone else except Hinata. They couldn't control him nor would they confront him. So they turned their attention to Hinata.

Neji knew the breaking point was fast approaching. He was left behind as they presented the clan in a nationwide meeting. Although Hinata assured him nothing happened, Neji hated the separation.

No longer patient, he committed another sin. They were always careful when it came to their lovemaking. They avoided the rooms where her garden stretched, as her husband sometimes frequented it to gain her favor. Neji changed his mind and took Hinata there. Normally it dismayed him when anyone else heard her voice cry in ecstasy, but this time he made sure it was his name she sighed over and over again. Just in time for her husband to hear it and storm in.

Neji threw a sheet over her. He neglected to remove her undergarments, but everything remained bare for their enjoyment. Then came the accusations. Words shot between them like weapons, the tension steadily mounting. "You have no right to be here," her husband said.

"She loves me," Neji said plainly. "You already knew this."

"I know she chose you as a lover, nothing more."

Hinata hurried between them to prevent violence. "Don't go near him, Hinata," Neji warned. The sheet barely covered her and it was irritating her husband was finally appreciating her.

"Don't tell my wife what to do," he said and Neji's fury spiked.

"Stop," Hinata said firmly.

He sensed there were people nearby, alerted by their rising voices. It was becoming a commotion, just as Neji planned. The cuckolded husband whom was sympathized would soon doom himself, preferably before Neji wrapped his hands around his throat.

"She was never worthy of the title," he snarled. "Only her father's pity allowed her to become the clan Head." It wasn't long, but Hinata had gained loyal followers and there were gasps. Neji finally lunged towards him, having a vague notion of the expectation but it angered him nonetheless.

To Hinata's shock, they fought.

It was a carnival of politics, gossip and false rumors. But the witnesses had heard the words and Neji defended her honor. It finally reached Hiashi's ears.

Once her marriage was annulled, it was their last hurdle. They married the following spring.

Their grandchildren were all in her image and his fierce strength. He was grateful they learned from Hinata's compassion and was not lost in power as they began to rise in ranks. If only Hinata could have witnessed their growth, Neji thought.

She passed away before him and their grown children were in tears to see their father lament over his lost love. He declined to speak at her funeral and they understood from the crack in his voice. No tears fell from his aged face, but his head was bowed, his fingers tightly clasped. He was the last to place a single rose on her casket and he continued to stay even when everyone left.

He avoided their room and the sprawling garden Hinata had lovingly cared for. They were torn to see him avoid the memory of their mother. In their childhood, they asked him, "Who fell in love first?"

Neji was gruff and refused to answer. "I did," their mother said.

They remembered his scowl. "That wasn't with me."

"It was love regardless," she chided when Neji pulled her close.

Impatiently, their eldest asked, "Who loved each other first?'

"I did," Neji said sourly and they couldn't see his face buried in her hair.

He stood by her gravestone most days. Occasionally Neji visited the graves of his fallen friends but he always wandered back. The anniversary of the war was approaching. Their parents found comfort with each other but with Hinata gone, their father was beginning to tire. He murmured to himself often, as if imagining her voice. His daughter brought over his grandchildren in hopes of lifting his spirits. "Grandfather, what was she like?" The resemblance of Hinata was exact, down to the cut of her bangs and bright smile.

"She was a strong woman who led the clan for a long time. We had your mother who then gave you all life."

Until not even two months later, he followed her.

They mourned another loss. When they questioned why their grandfather was gone when he wasn't even sick, it was answered with a heavy heart. "He loved my mother very much. Sometimes it's hard to live without the one you love."

Somewhere in the afterlife, Neji woke.

It was fortunate this time that when Neji opened his eyes, the pain and weariness gone, it was Hinata who greeted him. She was as beautiful as he remembered in the years after the war. She was bathed in the light, saying, "Neji, can you see me?"

His mouth twitched. Finally, it was his name she first spoke. "Hinata," he just said and stood.

It was difficult to move just yet but Hinata was coming closer. "You must be tired," she said kindly.

He was, but he was beginning to regain strength at the sight of her. For more than 50 years, she was always there. If he didn't see her at the end of the day, he could wait because there was a new day coming. And she always appeared before his eyes, tired and hurt but alive. As long as she breathed, his life was fulfilled. But there was no more waiting for her then and eventually, her name was said less and less, her memory a cruel token of what he had.

He knew death would eventually part them. But here and forever, Neji knew there was no need to worry. She smiled and it hurt, that it seemed like a longtime since he had seen it. There were tears in her eyes. "Are they alright?'

It took him a moment to remember. Their sons and daughter, the grandchildren they left behind. "They're fine." He stepped forward. "I missed you, Hinata."

She came into his arms and he breathed in her familiar scent, the feel of her body, the life he held dear. Their lips met in familiarity. "I was waiting for you," she told him tenderly.

He embraced her tightly and sighed in content. "We're together now," he said.

Back in Konoha, their graves lay side by side, surrounded with sunflowers.

FIN

Day 2: Firsts/Lasts is done! I'm particularly proud of this. I wrote it even before NejiHina Week was announced and wanted this out months ago but it gave me more time to refine it. Kinda reads in the same vein as Trials but more complete I guess?

NOTE: As I've said, next ones to come are lighter and not too long either. I mean it's not ridiculously short, but it's somewhat short. I'm barely active on tumblr and I don't want to clutter my page here either. So this was my idea: I'll upload the last remaining themes in a fic called Anthology. It'll be a series of one-shots I have left. So the theme on Wednesday is Illusion - first chap will be that. Second chapter will be the one-shot for Oath, etc. I'll update and somehow fit the summary for each one I'm doing so people will know what's in there. I have to post it on tumblr for NejiHiina Week so you can also read the summary there and the link back to the next chapter too. Phew. More to come for NejiHina week. As always, thank you for reading.