The Number One Rule

S.S.A Emily Prentiss took a seat next to Dr. Spencer Reid at the round table as the other members of the Behavioral Analysis Unit prepared their tablets for the briefing. The shuffling of files and the soft murmur of their voices filled the small space.

"What's wrong?" whispered Spencer. "You look confused."

"I am," confided the raven-haired beauty. "Do you know Thomas, the new Agent on the Missing Person's Unit?"

"Yes, I think so."

"I thought he liked me. We were going on a date tonight, but he just canceled, with no explanation."

"Ah, the number one rule," mumbled Spencer, nervously clearing his voice.

Emily was about to ask him what he meant, but Penelope hit her clicker and the crime scene photographs filled the screen.

It was a six-hour flight to Tucson and Hotch recommended that the team get some rest. But Emily was too worked up to sleep. She shared a blanket with J.J. and they spoke softly together. Emily told her about her disappointment with Agent Thomas and they tried to figure it out.

After reassuring Emily for the millionth time that she was gorgeous and likable, J.J. offered, "Maybe he doesn't feel well, Em. Yeah, that's it. He woke up feeling sick."

"So why not tell me? He could have just told me that," sighed Emily.

"Not if he has a terminal illness. Oh, Emily, how tragic! He'll be dead in six months. That's why he doesn't want to start anything with you."

"That's not funny, J.J."

"Sorry," she said yawning.

"I can't believe I wasted all morning shaving my legs and doing my hair. I was so looking forward to our date!"

"No, you were looking forward to all the yummy stuff that comes after the date."

The ladies giggled and Emily thought she heard Hotch clear his voice. Something about his manner made her suspect that, hidden behind that file, he was listening to their conversation. But why?

"Well, think about it this way, Em. Your date would have been canceled anyway because of this case."

"Yeah, but I'd be looking forward to a raincheck. J.J., you're not helping."

"Sorry," repeated the pretty blond. "I'm just really tired."

"No, I'm sorry," said Emily. "You should get some rest."

As J.J. dozed off, Emily remembered Reid's cryptic reference to a certain rule. She quietly got up, made her way to Spencer, and sat down next to him. He immediately became uncomfortable.

Without beating around the bush, Emily asked, "So, Spencer, what's the number one rule?"

"The what?" he croaked.

"You heard me."

"Please, Emily, you can't make me tell." When he glanced at Hotch, Emily was certain that all this had something to do with the Unit Chief.

"I'll tell you what, Reid," she negotiated. "You tell me about the number one rule right now, or I'll go tell Hotch you blabbed it to me."

"Oh, please, don't. He'll beam me with the laser of his stare until I die by his will power."

Emily laughed and said, "Spill it, Spencer."

"Fine," Spencer gulped. "The number one rule is..."

"Let's have it," she instructed when he hesitated, and she raised a perfectly plucked eyebrow.

Defeated, Spencer closed his eyes and sighed, "Nobody messes with Hotch's girls."

Emily gasped in disbelief. "What? So Hotch spies on us?"

"No, Morgan and I do the spying. Hotch just has a little chat with anyone who's out of line."

"And what does being out of line involve?"

"You know, ogling you or asking to date you."

"Reid, is this why J.J. and I can't get a date?"

"No, this is why you can't get a date in Quantico."

Emily dreaded the response to her next question, "What about outside Quantico?"

"Then we run a background check on the guy. If he has a record or anything suspicious then we're instructed to tail you."

"Reid!"

"We've never actually done it, Emily. Although your last date, Dr. Owen Hunt, had $1000.00 in unpaid parking tickets, but Hotch said he was cleared."

Cleared for what, she almost asked but shied away from the question.

"Reid, do you realize how wrong that is? Huge invasion of our privacy!"

"Hotch doesn't see it that way. He says that as Unit Chief he's responsible for you both on and off the clock."

And as Spencer revealed all the details of the number one rule, Emily formed a plan to teach the Unit Chief a lesson in privacy infringement.

Dressed in their SWAT uniforms, Emily and J.J. walked into the restaurant. As they made their way to table number 36 through a sea of flowers and candlelight, clients nervously glanced at them and J.J. announced, "Don't worry folks. Just a routine check. You're not in any danger."

As the agents approached the table, a wide-eyed Unit Chief watched their every move.

"Good evening, Sir," said Emily in a professional tone. "We certainly hope you're having a lovely evening."

"What's going on, Prentiss?" His initial worry had passed; his agents were too calm for anything to have happened. Now he was just plain curious.

"Nothing at all, Sir. Just have a few questions to ask this lovely lady."

And J.J. chimed in, "You know, in the interest of being thorough."

"Being thorough with what?" asked Hotch. He didn't like their tone and he was getting angry now.

"With the number one rule, of course," said Emily with a straight face and Hotch went blank. "Now Beth, if you could just fill out this questionnaire, then we can all be on our way. It'll just help us with the background check." Emily handed her a clipboard and a pen with the FBI logo.

"Background check?" asked Beth with a quiver in her adorable chin. "Aaron?"

And for some strange reason Emily could not explain, she absolutely detested to hear this woman, this outsider, call Hotch by his first name. She neatly packed the thought away to analyze it later when she was alone.

J.J. answered, "Yes, perfectly normal. We check on anyone dating Agent Hotchner because, in our line of work, you can never be too careful."

"Yes," added Emily, "and while we're here, maybe you could tell us what exactly are your intentions with our noble Unit Chief."

"Okay. Prentiss, J.J., that's enough," interjected Hotch.

"Yes, Sir," retorted Emily. "We believe it's quite enough. In fact, we believe it's too much!"

"Fine," he gave in. "You made your point. We'll talk about this first thing Monday morning."

"Perfect," said Emily. "Then it's a date." And before walking away she looked into Beth's eyes and rejoiced at seeing a glimpse of apprehension there.

Author's Note: LOL! Just a thought. Had a ton of fun writing it. Thank you for reading! Please review.