Thanks to ShellSueD and highlands girl for once again letting me 'join forces' with you, and for always thinking I have something to contribute to your stories. Anyone and everything familiar is Janet's. The mistakes are mine alone.
I'd reached for Steph's arm before she could get too far away from me. Helen is likely freaking internally with me and my men invading her home. Though manners will keep her from voicing it, I figure Stephanie won't want to add to the mayhem by causing her to have a heart attack when she learns that not only did I propose to her daughter ... Steph's answer had been an immediate - and very enthusiastic - yes. If my cousin had been just a bit more reckless, not only would her ring have been purchased, I would have also bought tickets for our honeymoon when I'd gone to pick it up. I can afford any ring or any place she wants to go, but our engagement seems even sweeter having a member of my family - however childish - as part of the process.
I'd been surprised by my own reaction to the thought of getting married again, so I can't begin to imagine what the news will do to Helen. Joe was barely acceptable boyfriend material to her in the beginning, and I surpass him in almost every issue Steph's parents used to have with him; dangerous job, rocky childhood, questionable reputation ...
Although I know Stephanie doesn't want to withhold good news from her family, she's fully aware that it may not be taken as welcome information. And we both agreed on her only wearing her ring if she isn't entering the Burg until we were ready for everybody to know. I wasn't opposed to keeping our engagement under wraps a little longer before it's made into something solely about other people's feelings on the unsuitability of it. I was surprised to see the diamond on her finger today, but my guess would be that it's been on her finger every day I've been gone. Which is why I proposed just before going in the wind again. I knew she'd want something of mine to hold onto and I needed to know she'd be there for me when I got back.
"Do you still want to wait to tell your parents?" I asked.
Before I touched her ring and mentioned our engagement, she'd had an adorably puzzled expression on her face as to why I stopped her.
"I would say a definite yes, but that was before I found myself dangling off the side of a building, seconds away from being a Hungarian/Italian splat on the pavement. I don't like hiding this, like we're something to be ashamed of, but I've enjoyed keeping this as private news that only our Rangefamily knows about."
"Why don't we tackle dinner and then revisit this conversation tomorrow."
Her arms came around me, letting me know that she approved of the suggestion.
She smiled against my lips. "I'm so glad you're home. I don't even care that we have to put off a real reunion until after dinner with my family."
I kissed her with just enough tongue to keep her thinking about the reuniting we'll be doing later, and then slipped her ring into my pocket. I'll return it when we're back at the Rangeman building. I'll put it on her finger preferably after I've gotten her naked and been inside her a few times.
"That wasn't fair," she complained.
"I don't play fair."
"I know. That's why I love you. I'm betting that's what drew you to me, too. I have a history of fighting dirty myself. You could say we understand each other."
My lips twitched at the innocent 'bet' reference. She'd likely be momentarily pissed if she found out about the bets going on behind the scenes, but I have no doubt her gears would immediately start turning, thinking up ways to cure him of his preferred method of blowing off steam. Maybe I'll let her loose on him as a one-year anniversary present. She'll be too entrenched in our world by then to want out of it.
I rested my hand on her hip as we moved further into the chaos. The Plum house had all the usual activity times a hundred. Valerie's girls were arguing about something important only to the three of them. Frank had a game on a high decibel level in an attempt to drown them out. Kloughn was sitting on the couch trying to referee the girls while attempting to engage his father-in-law in conversation ... both were ignoring him. And Helen could now be heard instructing Edna and Valerie on how to adjust the table settings and in which order to carry out the trays full of the food she's been 'slaving over'. Ella does the same amount of work three times a day, every single day, and she can manage it all with a smile and an inquiry on how your day went. I could literally feel the moment my men were deciding whether to stay or bolt. Steph sensed it, too. With an arm still around my waist, she gave them a cheat sheet to surviving her family.
"As long as you don't touch the remote or sit in my dad's chair at the table or in the living room you'll be fine," she told them. "If you talk sports, cars, or the Army, he'll pay attention to you ... something Albert hasn't figured out yet. You all know Grandma, so just keep your bits out of grabbing range and you'll leave mostly unmolested. You don't need to worry about Valerie or my nieces, they're loud and emotional, but harmless ..."
"What about your mom?" Hal asked.
Steph almost rolled her eyes. "She'll remain in hostess-mode unless the food gets cold. There's nothing you can do to completely satisfy her, but you can pacify her by telling her dinner is good."
Politeness doesn't apply to immediate family it seems, because Helen zeroed in on Stephanie once the table leaf was slid into place and Edna and Valerie had fixed the tablecloth and centerpiece and had already moved onto setting the food out.
"Stephanie ... what in heaven's name are you wearing? You're never going to find a good man if you keep dressing like one."
Steph cut her eyes to me and I can tell she wanted to laugh at the absurdity of that comment. She not only found a man, she's agreed to keep me. How good I am can be debated.
"I had a little accident and needed a quick replacement," she said to her mom.
"Did your shirt get lit on fire?" Grandma Mazur asked, pausing in her attempt to get her great-granddaughters to the table. "Or did you wind up with that Vaseline guy again?"
Les answered for her. "Neither. She went on an unplanned rappel."
Helen spilled the gravy she'd been in the process of putting down.
"What happened?" She asked Stephanie.
I shot my cousin a look. Family or not, he'll be joining Brown in the gym.
"It was just a misunderstanding between me and a skip I had. The guys," she said, smiling at my men as I pulled her chair out for her, "had my back though. And Ranger came home at just the right time."
The smile she gave me was warmer and far more intimate than the one directed at where the guys were sitting down.
"Umm ..." Helen started, her lips pressing together as if she was suddenly nervous.
"What?" Steph asked. "What's with the noise? What did you do now?"
"Nothing."
"She invited the Italian Stallion over for dessert," Edna admitted for her.
I'd be pissed about Morelli circling the waters, but I have no concerns about him and Stephanie anymore. I also don't care if Helen was hoping to ease me out of the equation since it won't ever happen. Stephanie, on the other hand, isn't feeling as generous as I am. Her eyes narrowed.
"Why would you do that?" She asked Helen.
"I ran into him when I was out picking up a few last minute items. I asked about his mother and he asked how you were. When I mentioned that I was going to try a new recipe for dessert this year, he looked so hopeful I felt I had to offer him an invitation."
I wanted to smile at Steph's priorities. She was instantly lusting after sugar, not Morelli.
"What's for dessert?" She asked her mother.
"Pumpkin Cheesecake Pecan Pie."
"We're getting two things?"
"It's all layered into one pie. But there are three of them," Valerie answered.
Ram's eyes rolled back in his head and Bobby moaned. Idiots. There's something better than dessert, but I have to patiently wait to have it. A whack to my thigh under the table brought me back to the conversation. I turned my head and was looking straight into Steph's blue eyes.
"Behave," she ordered me, and then passed me a platter full of turkey.
I put some of the meat on my plate, passed it to Cal, and then leaned in close to speak directly into her ear.
"I am behaving ... otherwise I'd be having you on this table instead of turkey."
That got a reaction, so much so that her mother put down the wine glass she'd been attached to since finally sitting down.
"Are you alright, Stephanie? You look a little flushed. I hope you aren't getting sick. You should dress warmer when you go out now. The temperatures have been dropping with every passing day."
"Jeez, Helen," Edna told her, "I didn't think you were that far gone. She ain't sick."
"Unless you count being lovesick," Santos said around a disgusting mouthful of mashed potatoes, gravy, turkey, plus cranberry sauce.
If I wasn't related to him, I'd swear he'd been raised by wolves. Cal and Hal grinned, which earned them a warning stare.
"Can it," I told Lester, not wanting mine and Steph's relationship questioned further.
"We're talking about Joe," she told everyone. "Not me. So he's coming ... why?"
"For pie," Helen said, after another healthy swallow of Cabernet.
"He'd better not be," Bobby muttered into his napkin.
He wasn't quiet enough. This time, Steph was giving him an eye-warning.
"Is there a reason his mom and grandmother aren't feeding him?" She asked her family.
Valerie answered. "Mom took pity on him because Mrs. Morelli's pie crust isn't flaky and her pumpkin filling isn't sweet enough."
Steph nodded like that was a logical reason. Both of them know Helen would never pass up the opportunity to out-bake another high-ranking Burg wife.
"I hope you don't mind," Helen added.
"If you cared that I'd mind, you would've asked before inviting him. You knew I was coming over and that I'd be bringing Ranger if he was able to come."
That she's still eating is an good indicator that she doesn't care who's here or who will be soon. She made sure the guys received a decent holiday meal, she gets to eat dessert, and I'm home. In her mind ... life is good. Adrenaline will do that. So will liking your life.
"Mary Alice, stop trying to stab your sister or I'm going to take your fork away," Helen told her granddaughter. "Would you like more stuffing, Frank?"
That was the last of the conversation until the food was demolished and the dinner plates removed. Edna was handing out dessert dishes as Helen started cutting slices of something I wouldn't eat even under the threat of torture.
At the one solid knock to the front door my men and I all tensed, automatically reaching for the weapons we hadn't removed. Morelli walked into the house without bothering with a second one. The familiarity of that pissed me off, but all he has is Helen's approval ... I have Stephanie, so I relaxed and waited to see where this went.
"Joseph," Helen said rushing over to him, "I'm so glad you could join us."
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw both Stephanie and Valerie roll their eyes.
"Thank you for having me," Morelli replied. "I hope I'm not imposing. I noticed all the cars outside."
"Stephanie brought along some ..."
"Friends," she said emphatically. "I brought along my friends ... and Ranger, too."
"I see that." He didn't look happy to see me, but he nodded. "Manoso."
"Morelli," I said, not getting up. I wanted him to know that I don't see him as a threat on any level. "What brings you here?"
"Mrs. Plum invited me for dessert."
"If you'd stop yammering," Frank told him, "we could all have some."
"Frank!" Helen whisper-hissed.
"What?"
"Here, Hot Cakes," Edna told Morelli, "you can sit next to me, since the one beside my granddaughter is taken."
Joe swallowed hard. That'll teach him for trying to keep himself in Stephanie's life.
"I really don't think ..."
"Joe," Steph said, "sit."
He did, much to my and my men's amusement. It's always a relief to have her impatience directed elsewhere.
"How's life, Cupcake?"
"It's good. It got even better an hour ago."
"When you were dangling off the side of a building? I heard about that. I know I'd find that preferable to certain company."
He said that while smiling at Helen as she handed him a slab of dessert that will hopefully shave a few years off his life.
"Knock it off, Joe," Steph said to him. "If you're going to pick a fight, I can make your dessert a to-go order."
"Stephanie ..."
"Don't 'Stephanie' me, Mom. He's the guest. He shouldn't be trying to start anything. He should just sit there, look pretty, and not say a damn thing."
"It's fine, Babe."
Her hand settled on my leg. "No, it's not. You belong here more than he does ... and he still gets better treatment."
Joe gave Helen a wink. "I'm an honorary member of the family. I think Burg rules state that if a man has at least three pot roast dinners at a specific family's house, he becomes one of them."
"Bossman has a different set of rules he lives by," Cal told him.
The five of them hadn't relaxed at all. They know this has the potential to go very wrong. Hiding a cop's body would require more planning and more time.
Morelli laughed without any humor. "I bet he does."
Steph glared at Joe, but he kept up the smug attitude. She turned to me. "I want it back."
I didn't have to ask what she was talking about. "Now?"
"Yes. It's long overdue."
"What's going on, Steph?" Valerie asked.
Now the idiots I hired were grinning.
"Wait for it ..." Ram told her.
"Wait for what?" Edna asked Steph.
"What is wrong with everyone tonight?" Helen asked the ceiling, while I took the diamond Steph said was the size of my Turbo's headlight out of my pocket and passed it to her under the table.
She put it where it belonged before holding her left hand up for everyone to see. "Ranger is family ... sorry about the relatives you'll be getting along with me," she said to me, before addressing the table again, "because he asked me to marry him. And I said yes."
Her announcement must have been completely unexpected. Everyone at the table went still, forgetting about dessert entirely. Likely a first in this house. Helen's wine glass made a muted thump as it slipped from her hand.
"Is this a joke?" She asked her daughter. "Are you kidding again? I know the amount of joy you get from tormenting me."
"No joke," I told her. "I was dead serious when I proposed."
"Ranger wants to get married? And you actually said yes?" Valerie asked. "Wow."
"Yeah ... wow is right," Steph agreed. "I walked into Ranger's apartment after a crappy day and was surprised to see what looked like a romantic dinner laid out in the dining room. Ella was happier than usual which really should have tipped me off that something was up. I got dinner, homemade chocolate mousse cake, and another blue box with this ring inside it."
She'd put up more of a fight over the panic button than she did over agreeing to become my wife once the shock wore off.
"Look at that ring!" Edna said, almost knocking her chair over to get a closer look.
"It's pretty, isn't it?"
"Pretty isn't the right word, Steph," Brown told her. "If you knew ..."
"Do you want to be able to walk out of the gym on your own?" I asked, dead serious this time, too.
"Yep, a pretty ring it definitely is," he quickly said.
The cost isn't relevant ... neither is the source of the money.
"You're marrying my daughter?" Frank asked me.
"Yes."
"Uh-oh," Kloughn whimpered, having gone through this himself.
But Frank just stared at me for a few beats before speaking. "You gonna treat her better than he did?" He asked, pointing his whipped cream coated fork at Joe.
"Yes," I said again.
"That's not much of a promise," my helpful cousin added, right before Cal elbowed him.
He has a point. Morelli treated her like a place-saver. When he wanted her, she was expected to be there for him. When he didn't, she was left to stand alone.
"And before you ask," Steph said to her mother who had yet to regain her composure, "there's no date picked or plans made."
"You can't just decide to get married before ..."
"Before what? Speaking to you about it? Telling the Burg that we're considering it? Ranger and I are the ones getting married. And we're both okay with it."
"Think real hard about this, Cupcake, about what you'll be agreeing to with him."
"I'll be getting to spend my days with someone who loves me as much as I do him. Is that what you meant?"
"No."
"Choose your words very carefully, Morelli," I warned him. "You're not going to ruin the holiday by throwing a tantrum because you just realized you won't be getting what you want."
"Which is what exactly? Since you think you have all the answers."
"He does," Hal added helpfully.
"Especially when it comes to your motives," I told Morelli. "We both know you still want Stephanie."
Like it had been discussed and choreographed earlier, my men all slid their chairs back from the table.
"Relax, guys," Steph told them. "Joe doesn't want me ... and Ranger does. End of conversation."
"Not to quote Lula or anything," Bobby said, "but you don't know much about men."
"He's," she pointed at Morelli with her finger, "the one who said we should break up. We did. And we're both happier that way. He's moved on, and so have I."
"He didn't move far, Babe. Why do you think he's here?"
"To get dessert and maybe some information on me, but he couldn't stand me whenever we tried to live together, why would he want to put himself through that again?"
"Because he loves you, Steph," Valerie informed her.
"If he really loved her, he would have treated her better while he still had a chance," I pointed out. "He doesn't now."
"Maybe I should go," Morelli said, pushing his half-eaten pie away.
"You think?" I asked.
"When did this happen?" Helen asked Stephanie.
"Our engagement? Before Ranger left this last time. I would've told you, but I was worried this would happen."
"He did it right before he disappeared again? That should tell you something, Cupcake. He wanted to make sure you'd wait for him."
Her hand curled around mine. "Which I did ... happily. Bye, Joe."
Just like the petulant child he is ... he stormed out. Knowing that the details of this dinner will be circulating town in under an hour, he didn't slam the door behind him like I'm sure he wanted to.
"Now that that's out of the way," Edna said, not fazed at all by the mixed emotions filling the dining room, "tell us everything."
"Yeah," Valerie added, "don't leave anything out."
Helen remained tight-lipped, and likely in a state of shock, and our evening in the Burg ended shortly after.
"Ranger?" Steph asked, as I backed out of her parents' driveway.
"Yeah, Babe?"
"Do you think we can go away for Christmas so we don't have to do that again?"
"You thinking somewhere on this coast? West Coast? Or out of the country entirely?"
She thought about it for a minute. "How easy is it to get a passport or have one renewed?"
"You can have one in minutes if you know the right person. A marriage certificate is also just as easy to obtain. I have a guy who can handle both."
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
"Eloping under the illusion of a vacation?"
"Yup," she said, turning her head towards me. "It sounds pretty good. No muss, no fuss, and no drama. Just you and me ... and of course the person who'll be marrying us."
"Works for me."
"I had a feeling you'd say that. I had a big and also freakin' expensive church wedding, and that didn't end well. Maybe a simple wedding on a beach in the Caribbean will work out better."
"It was who was getting married, Steph, not the location that was the problem."
"I know, but now that I found the perfect person, a good backdrop and tropical temperatures can't hurt."
"I'll make the arrangements tomorrow."
She looked at the time on the dash. "It's still pretty early ... what do you think we should do tonight? Look for possible places to go and hotels to stay?"
She really is adorable when she attempts to flirt. "No, I have plans for you for tonight."
"Oh really? Like what?"
"I see us celebrating my return home ... as well as our engagement throughout the night, since we both just decided its days are now numbered."
"Works for me," she said, parroting back my words. "Did I mention that I had to go commando today?"
"No. I definitely would have remembered that."
"In ten minutes you can find out for yourself if I'm kidding or actually serious."
She doesn't usually joke about underwear, hers or my lack of them, so I'm taking her at her word.
My phone buzzed with a text as I was contemplating what I'm going to do with the information she just gave me. I one-handed the wheel as I read the message.
"Something important?" She asked.
"It's from Vince. Looks like Stager was apprehended by the TPD."
"Where?"
"At the convenience store off Broad."
He's one lucky bastard. I had a not-so-comfortable room at Rangeman with his name on it. I wanted it made clear that touching my woman will result in him being dead before the authorities could get involved.
"That's good. We can put this entire day behind us then."
The day can be forgotten, but I'll make certain the night won't be. With Stager and the engagement reveal out of the way, we're free to just enjoy it while it lasts and then we'll get started on enjoying the next phase of our relationship as husband and wife.