Author's Notes - This story takes place around the end of s11. I made some changes though, so it might appear slightly AU. For one, Derek is alive in my story. He doesn't play a crucial role, but there's no place in my fanfic world for a dead Derek. However, this change does have an impact on a few other things. Since Meredith and Derek still live in the McMansion, Alex and Jo (and Arizona) still live in the Grey house. This also means that the loft (and the ILY) never happened, which is sad, but I need it that way for my story. The time jump never happened either, so Alex and Jo have only been a couple for ca. 2 years.

I want to thank my beta reader Sam, without whom this story wouldn't be possible

Chapter 1

Alex Karev woke up before the alarm went off, which was strange since he was anything but an early riser. With a glance at the clock he saw it wasn't time for work yet, but he couldn't go back to sleep either so he turned around and with his head resting on his bent elbow he watched his girlfriend who was still peacefully sleeping by his side. A small smile flashed over his face, as he listened to her steady breathing. Sometimes he still couldn't believe how lucky he was to be with her. Smart, funny, loyal, beautiful and compassionate - Jo was by far the best thing that ever happened to him.

But then there were those unrelenting doubts again, making their way into his head. Doubts which told him that maybe he didn't know her quite as well as he thought he did.

She was holding back something, he could feel it. Most of the time he wasn't too bothered by it. Everybody had things they didn't want to talk about. She was not obligated to tell him every little detail about her life. What mattered was he knew the important things, like that fact that she'd always have his back, that he could trust her and that they loved each other. Yet sometimes he caught himself thinking back to that evening when the tree crashed through their living room window.

The last time someone grabbed me like Jason did... I... I promised no one would ever do that again...

Someone had hurt her, he knew that much. He wasn't an idiot, there were only so many things which could put that kind of fear in a woman's eyes and as a doctor and growing up in his family he'd seen that look more times than he'd have liked. This time it concerned his own girlfriend and he didn't know what to do. More than anything Alex wanted Jo to open up about her past, so he could be there for her, the way she had been there for him when the painful parts of his own past caught up with him in the reappearance of his father Jimmy. After the night with the tree, Alex didn't want to push Jo to talk about traumatic experiences from her past mostly because he'd thought one day, when she was ready, she would start talking about it on her own. But that day never came. Now, almost 2 years later, Alex felt like it was too late to bring up the topic casually. Not that there was anything casual about it.

And it's not like Jo never talked about her past at all. He knew the cornerstones of her story. That her mother gave her away when she was a baby, that she grew up in foster homes, that in high school she'd lived in her car. They even had this little game going on, where one would tell the other an outrageous fact about their childhood and the other tried to trump it with a story that was even worse. It was just a funny, stupid thing they did and an easy way to learn stuff about each other's childhoods, without opening the really painful chapters both of them were reluctant to talk about. Still it made Alex wonder if Jo had any happy memories from her childhood at all. Sure, the thrill of stealing cars could be fun, but was there even one moment where Jo had been a truly happy and carefree child?

The thing was, Alex's childhood was hell but for him they had existed, those rare moments of real childhood bliss. Moments at a fair with his father, before he became a shouting and beating choleric. Moments, when his sister would tease him about his crappy hairdressing skills, because he could never get that Dutch braid right. Moments, when he played the old guitar because Amber and Aaron and even their mother loved to hear him play.

As much as he wanted to, he could never bring himself to directly ask Jo to share some joyous childhood memories. Maybe he was afraid of the answer.

While Alex was still deep in thought, Jo opened her eyes slowly and blinked at him. Noticing his thoughtful look she mumbled, "What are you doing up already?"

"Nothing. I was just..."

"Are you watching me in my sleep, like a creep?"

"What? No! No way. Besides it's not called creep when it is your boyfriend. I was just in awe of the sleeping beauty beside me", he added charmingly.

Jo laughed quietly into her pillow. She rose to give him a kiss.

Alex turned away. "Hey, careful, beware the morning breath."

"Oh please! I'm just as gross as you are right now. Give me my kiss!" She reached for his face and pressed her lips against his. What started out as an impatient gesture quickly turned into a deep and passionate kiss. They might have gone further, but they were disturbed by the alarm going off. It was time to get ready for work after all.

They took turns in the shower, which was a wise decision, since they always forgot time, when they showered together and they didn't want to be late for work again. Aftwards they got dressed and ate some breakfast. In the car, Jo started her ususal routine of messing around with the radio to find a news station.

Alex side-eyed her. "I don't know why the hell you want to listen to that much depressing shit this early in the morning."

"It's called the news, Alex. Some people think it's mature and adult to know what's going on in the world around them."

"Yeah well, I'm more of an "ignorance is bliss" kind of guy. At least at 7 in the morning," he grumbled.

Jo ignored his objections and kept listening.

As they were about to enter the hospital Alex held Jo back for one last kiss.

"See you at lunch today?"

Jo made a doubtful face. "I don't think so. I'm on Shepherd's service today and we're going to operate on a very complicated tumour. I'm not sure how long it's going to take."

Alex was not happy to hear that. "Great, so you're gonna be looking into Shepherd's deep and thoughtful eyes the whole day."

Jo chuckled. "Come on! I'm not gonna be looking into his eyes. I'm gonna be looking at a hideous brain tumour. Besides he is married to your best friend and they have 2 kids. Trust me, I'm so not crushing on Shepherd. I solely appreciate his teaching skills. He is a pretty great teacher."

Alex wasn't quite satisfied with the answer. Something about Jo's choice of words bothered him, even though he knew she was just messing with him.

"So you're saying, Shepherd being married to Meredith is the only reason you're not interested in him? If he wasn't you would be into him? You didn't deny that he has thoughtful eyes. And also I thought I was your favourite teacher?"

"Aw," Jo mockingly stroke his head. "Okay, to clarify: You are my favourite teacher at Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital and I'm not into Dr. Shepherd, because he is not my type. And most importantly, yours are the deepest and most thoughtful eyes of them all. Better?"

"Better," Alex confirmed.

Jo smiled. "Besides if there's one person who has reasons to be jealous it's me anyways."

"Oh and why would that be?" he asked he as he grabbed her jacket and tugged her towads him.

"Because that scrub nurse Natalie has a thing for you."

"What? That's not true."

"It's true Alex. I see it everytime I'm on your service. She's always there."

"Well, that's because she is a Peds scrub nurse," he pointed out to her as a couple interns walked past them into the hospital

"But she keeps looking at you, smiling at you and she keeps checking out your ass," Jo argued.

"What? Seriously? I never noticed."

Jo nodded. "She does. So you better watch your butt, Mister" she said in serious tone and raised her finger which bizzarely reminded him of a teacher but was also kind of hot.

"I'd rather you watch it for me," Alex said with a naughty grin, which made Jo laugh again. Eventually she took his arm and dragged him into the building. "Come on, we don't wanna be late. Or both our asses are gonna be in trouble."

Both of them were caught by surprise at the turmoil they found themselves in the middle of as soon as they entered the hallway leading to the Chief of Surgery office. Attendings, residents, interns and nurses alike were waiting in front of the closed door, chatting loudly.

"Oh right..." Jo started, "they're gonna announce Bailey's competition for the Chief of Surgery position today. How could we forget that?"

"Probably because it doesn't matter anyways? I mean, whoever Catherine Avery picked as her candidate, Bailey is gonna get the job in the end. Bailey's gonna kick their ass."

Jo looked at Alex. "Do you even want her to become Chief? She already got your board seat."

Alex considered that for a moment. "Yeah true... but Bailey is a great doctor. Plus she knows us and we know her. Guess I'd rather she ran this place than a stranger. Besides she's been bossing us around like a Chief for years already."

Jo's gaze went back to the closed office door. "So, do you have any idea who this candidate could be? Do we even know if it's a man or woman?"

Alex shrugged. "No idea."

It was at that moment the office door opened and Chief Hunt stepped out. "So, I guess nobody in this hospital has to work?" he asked with a stern look on his face. Then he sighed. "Alright, alright. Since I don't want our patients to suffer just because our staff is noisy and overly curious about the new Chief candidate, I'm gonna make it quick: Please welcome, Dr. Lionel Baker."

Jo froze. From where she was standing she couldn't see the man who now stepped out of Hunt's office, but she didn't have to. Hearing the name was enough. She felt like something had squeezed all air out of her lungs. For a moment she was unable to breath and she could already feel the adrenaline rushing through her veins, as her body and mind panicked.

She imagined a man in his early 50s stepping out of the room. Charismatic, with a little salt and pepper in his hair. Thin but not athletic. Not anymore at least.

Jo felt confined. As if the surrounding crowd was closing in on her. She couldn't be here anymore. Slowly, as to not attract attention, she backed away from the crowd. Eventually she was stopped by a wall behind her. She saw Alex turning around to say something to her. Noticing she was gone, he searched the hallway. Jo remained silent and hidden in the shadows of the staircase, shaken up and dazed.

No, this couldn't be! Why him? What was he doing here?

Which was a stupid question. Jo knew what he was doing here. He was Catherine Avery's candidate for the Chief of Surgery position. But she knew this couldn't be a coincidence, that there was more too it. And that "more" had to do with her.

Hunt was talking about Baker's career and accomplishments, but Jo barely listened. Her thoughts were running wild so she didn't even notice Maggie, who had just joined the gathered crowd and was standing only a few feet away from her. Only when the Grey sister uttered an annoyed grunt, did Jo realise she had company.

"Great, this new canditate just had to be another cardiothoracic surgeon, didn't he? This is just great," Maggie muttered, more to herself than to Jo.

"I don't like him either," Jo mumbled. When she looked up, realizing she'd said that out loud, she met Maggie's gaze who looked a bit confused. Before she could ask any questions, Jo rushed off, heading for the residents' locker room. In her head she kept repeating the same questions over and over again.

Why him? What was he doing here?