Chapter Five: Birthday

"I think our grunkles need some time alone," said Mabel. "Wanna go see if the giant presidential robots are still out there?"

"Sure," said Dipper. "I want to thank the pilots."

They biked up to where they could get a good view out of the valley, and there were the robots standing in a row: George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln, and Theodore Roosevelt.

The right eye of Roosevelt popped open like a door and Quentin Trembley peered out.

"Greetings, Congressman Mabel, and Roderick!" said Trembley. "We have defeated a formidable infant foe!"

"What happened to the Time Baby?" asked Mabel.

"Some agents from the future showed up and offered to take him off our hands," said Trembley.

"The Time Anomaly Removal Crew?" asked Dipper.

"The very ones," said Trembley.

"Oh no! They work for the Time Baby," said Dipper. "They're on his side."

Blendin Blandin appeared beside them, for once adjusting his camouflage suit with confidence.

"Not anymore," said Blendin (with little trace of a stutter). "The victory today gave us a future without the Time Baby in control, and we hope to keep it that way. See the new red logo on my time-travel device? It represents fighting the evil Time Baby. I'll be looking out for you guys, in your past."

"You're bald again," said Mabel. "What's up with that?"

"I lost the effect of your Globnar victory wish for me when the timeline changed," said Blendin. "I don't mind; it's worth it."

"Where's the Time Baby now?" asked Dipper.

"We sealed him back in the Antarctic ice," said Blendin.

"That could melt someday, you know," said Dipper.

"Please ask your great-uncle Ford to resume work on his perpetual motion machine, so that we can have a carbon-free energy source to prevent global warming. One of my missions in the old timeline, when I worked for the Time Baby, was to sabotage that machine."

"You did that? He thought his brother did it," said Mabel. "Now they can make up for sure."

"The only other Time Baby we need to worry about is the one that will reconstitute from atoms in a thousand years," said Blendin. "But technological advances from the research your great-uncle does on the working alien spacecraft will prepare humanity to defeat him, too."

"Magnificent," said Trembley. "Hopefully it will also enable us to defeat the giant man-eating spiders, and pancakes!"

"President Trembley, we want to thank you and your fellow giant presidential statue pilots for saving us," said Dipper.

"Certainly, my boy," said Trembley. "Come out, all of you identical fellows."

The right eyes of the other statues opened, and behind each one was an Old Man McGucket.

"Howdy, Dipper and Mabel," said the McGucket in Washington.

The McGuckets in Lincoln and Jefferson chorused, "Howdy."

Dipper and Mabel gasped in amazement.

"B-but... you're dead... the Shape Shifter killed you!" said Dipper.

"And now... there's three of you?" asked Mabel.

"Meet Left-Arm-Cast McGucket and No-Cast McGucket," said the Washington one. "And I'm the original in this dimension, Right-Arm-Cast McGucket."

"But... how?" asked Dipper.

"With all the weird energies of the alien ship, sometimes the boundaries between parallel worlds get thinned out," said No-Cast McGucket.

"'Specially around reflective surfaces," said Left-Arm-Cast McGucket. "Sometime mirror images come out funny, not reversed like they oughta be. And sometime parallel copies can even cross over."

"I told you I had a turf war with the hillbilly in my mirror," said Original McGucket. "You thought I was just bein' a crazy old coot, didn't ya?"

"I sure did," said Mabel.

"Me too," said Dipper.

"When my laptop countdown got low and gravity started goin' bonkers, I lit out of town, and so did a couple of my copies," said Original McGucket. "We ran into President Trembley here. We warned him about what was comin', and he got us to fix up these here robots."

"But another copy of you went down in the Bunker and got killed by the Shape Shifter," said Dipper.

"That must have been the extra-crazy one," said McGucket.

"You seem a lot less cuckoo than the last time we saw you," said Mabel. "All three of you do."

"My mind's been comin' back, all righty," said No-Cast McGucket. "I only see purple-spotted trolls on Tuesdays and Thursdays now."

"That's progress," said Dipper.

"Now we must hurry off and replace these figures at Mt. Rushmore," said Trembley. "Come along, men."

"Bye, President Trembley," said Mabel. "Bye, McGuckets!"

"At least one of you should come back and see Great-uncle Ford," said Dipper. "He'd be glad to work with you again, I bet."

"One more thing," said Trembley. "Here's an official presidential pardon for all crimes, for your Great-Uncle Stan, for his heroic actions in saving the world."

With the statue's enormous hand he handed Dipper a piece of paper.

"Thanks," said Dipper. "I know he could use it."

Their thirteenth birthday party three days later was on the grounds of Mystery Shack after all. The high school gym was in ruins.

Shermie, Stan, and Ford were all there.

"I have to return to the East Coast and pick up my life again," said Shermie. "It seems I've been declared legally dead. I called some members of the Royal Order and they're going to help."

"I guess your marriage with Waddles will have to be annulled," said Mabel. "Since you're not Gompers anymore."

"You're certainly correct about that," said Shermie with an embarrassed cough.

"The Royal Society wants me to keep the Mystery Shack open, right Shermie?" asked Stan.

"Yes, it serves a valuable purpose in making people think the real weirdness of Gravity Falls is a fake," said Shermie.

"I'll let you keep it open," said Ford. "In your own name, not mine."

"Since I've been pardoned I can use it again," said Stan. "Yes! In your face, law enforcement."

"I'll have plenty to do with investigating the fully-operational alien ship," said Ford. "I'll spend most of my time there."

"Don't forget to come out and have fun with your brother some times," said Mabel. "That's what twins are for."

"I know, I'm working on being more human and less brain," said Ford.

"Good," said Mabel. "Here's a party horn for you."

Ford tooted it, and smiled.

Candy arrived. "With all the mess, my parents did not send me to music camp this year after all. Happy birthday!"

"What about Grenda?" asked Mabel.

"Here I am!" called Grenda, arriving with Marius von Fundshauser.

"Vhen I heard my darling's home town was destroyed, I had to come and help," said Marius. "I vill donate much money to rebuild the town, and rename it Grendaville."

Grenda said, "That's sweet of you, but it's going to stay Gravity Falls."

"But darling..." said Marius.

"Drop it, Marius," ordered Grenda.

"Yes, dear," said Marius.

"Pacifica, good to see you!" said Dipper, turning a bit pink.

Pacifica was wearing a nicer dress than the fighting rags she wore in the resistance, but nothing glamorous.

"How are things going on the home front?" asked Dipper. "Are your parents all right?"

"There's bad news about my mother," said Pacifica. "She ran back to the mansion and locked herself in the Panic Room, but it wasn't safe from the weirdness. She was attacked and killed when a silver tray of finger sandwiches came to life."

"Oh no!" said Mabel. "I'm sorry to hear that. How about your dad?"

"I helped him survive the Weirdocalypse, but..."

Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland came up.

"Preston Northwest's face was fixed by Bill as part of the damage restoration," said Blubs. "But we had to arrest him as a traitor to humanity. He's in jail."

"The Sheriff and I are getting married," Durland blurted out.

"Wow, congratulations!" said Mabel, and Dipper seconded it.

"Yep, after almost losing Durland, I had to pop the question as soon as I got him back," said Blubs.

"It's so wonderful. And we're going to adopt Pacifica," said Durland.

"I'm cool with that," said Pacifica. "It'll be nice to be part of an common, ordinary family after all this."

After Pacifica wandered off to check out the party, Mabel asked Dipper, "So, how do you feel about Pacifica? And how about Wendy?"

Dipper said, "I'm completely over Wendy after that horrible thing with her fake copy in Mabeland. As for Pacifica, we're just friends."

Mabel said, "I'm putting Pacifica on the top of your rebound romance list now."

"I don't need romance in my life right now," said Dipper, blushing.

"You're lucky," said Mabel with a sigh. "I never found my epic summer romance."

A young man in a green shirt came up to her.

"You work at the Mystery Shack, right? I think you were the one who dropped this survey for me to pick up."

He handed Mabel a survey that said "Do you like me? Yes, Definitely, Absolutely."

"Oh!" said Mabel. "Maybe... why?"

The boy pulled out a pencil and checked all three boxes. "I was too shy to say anything then, but after seeing you save the town, I'd really like to get to know you. I'm Reuben."

"I'm Mabel. I have to leave for California on the bus this evening, but... I'll give you my Spype address so we can video chat!"

"'I'd like that," said Reuben.

"You were in my Visions of Heartbreak Past, and in Mabeland, too," said Mabel. "So I know this will be perfect!"

"I don't know what that means," said Reuben, looking a little wary.

"Never mind, just some adventurey stuff that happened this summer. I'll tell you all about it in chat sometime," said Mabel.

"Okay," said Reuben, smiling.

After the party, Dipper and Mabel went to the bus stop. Most of the town was there to see them off.

Wendy and Soos gave them hugs. Dipper whispered his real name to Wendy, and she laughed.

Soos cried. "I'll miss you so much, dudes."

The grunkles and grandfather also hugged them.

"Keep it real," said Stan, blinking tears from his own eyes.

"You're doing the right thing, Dipper," said Ford. "Don't leave childhood behind yet. I'm sorry I tried to pull you away from your sister. Maybe in a few years..."

"We'll see," said Dipper.

The bus arrived, and Mabel started moving her stuff on.

"Mabel, what's that big cardboard box with legs sticking out of it?" Dipper asked.

"Nothing," said Mabel.

"There's no way that our folks will let you keep Waddles at home, you know," said Dipper. "He'll end up on some farm with strangers."

"Let me take care of him for you," said Stan. "After risking my life to save him from a pterodactyl, you know I'll do a good job."

Mabel hung her head sadly, and handed over the box. "Goodbye, BFF. I'll be back."

Waddles oinked sadly.

Mabel was sitting on the seat to the right of her brother, looking out the back window at everyone.

"There's so much more I want to know about Gravity Falls," said Dipper. "Like what McGucket said about parallel worlds."

"There are parallel worlds," said Mabel. "I've been to one as Googie."

"But the thing about jumping back and forth between them, maybe even without realizing it... Doesn't it seem to you, sometimes, like there are subtle details that change from moment to moment? Maybe there are parallel worlds going on. Mabel and Lebam. Dipper and Reppid."

Mabel was sitting on the seat to the left of her brother, looking out the back window at everyone.

"Goodbye, Gravity Falls," she said.

"Goodbye, Gravity Falls," said Dipper.