No excuse for the slow updates other than, I'm just struggling with this one. I've been kicking myself in the ass for posting it before it was finished. Just hang in there and hopefully it'll bounce back. Thanks for reading.

Chapter Twenty Five

Daryl grabbed her arm and hauled her into their room. "What the hell do you mean he's sick," he snapped.

She pulled her arm out of his grip, raising her brows at him. "I mean he's sick. Fever, chills, headache."

"Is it the same thing you said happened at the prison?" He asked, his eyes flashing angrily.

Carol looked away. "I don't know yet. I haven't really talked to him much. But we have plenty of-"

"And we're gonna use it on his worthless ass!" Daryl snapped.

She couldn't believe he was this angry. "Daryl, I have to do what I can because regardless of how I, or anyone else, feels about him, he has Carl and Judith and they need him."

"I don't want you near him," he growled.

She blinked, "I love you. You know I love you but you are not my keeper and you will not tell me what to do. I'll be fine."

His lips thinned into an angry line. She kissed his jaw and his arms went around her. "You could get sick too," he said, trying hard to keep the anger out of his voice. He was failing miserably.

"I told you that I'll be fine." She understood his fear. She would be putting up the same argument if it was the other way around but she really didn't think she was in danger of getting sick. "You've seen them. They've been through a lot and none of them are running on all cylinders just yet. He's malnourished and worn down. That's it. His body is just trying to give in."

He looked pained but she saw an understanding in his eyes now. "You know, sometimes I wish you were as bad as you and him think you are. It'd save me a damn lot of stress."

She smiled, rested her forehead against his for a few moments and then backed away from him. "Maybe I'm doing this because I'm bad. Maybe I want to be the one take care of him, nurse him back to health, so he has no choice but to look me in the eye and thank me." That was the furthest thing from the truth but she would be a liar if she said that she wouldn't take some amount of small satisfaction in him finally realizing that he was wrong about her. Had always been wrong about her.

"I'm sure that's the only reason you're putting your ass on the line for him," he said sarcastically.

"Oh it is. I'm doing it out of sheer malice. I want him to suffer every minute that I am there," she smiled but then it turned into a laugh when he pushed her out of their room and slammed the door in her face.

She shouldered the bag she had and headed back to the room that Rick was occupying. She had found some packets of Emergen-C in one of the upstairs bathrooms. She knew that if she could just get his immune system back up to par that he would be fine. Well, that was what she was hoping anyway. She had closed the blinds and pulled the drapes in the room so when she walked in, balancing his breakfast and the bag, she could barely see anything.

"Need some help?"

She jumped at the unexpected voice but then recognized Michonne's shadow materialize out of the gloom. She took the bowl and the cold cloth. Carol opened the drapes but left the blinds alone. There was plenty of light. She didn't need to blind the man.

Michonne knelt down next to him, her hand on his shoulder. She didn't have to say anything before he was rolling onto his back, struggling to sit up. He seemed weaker than he had been when she had left him because if not for the woman there to help him, he would still be lying on the floor. Carol watched as the two of them shared a look and then Rick's eyes turned to her.

She handed him the water bottle she had mixed the powder in and then the bowl.

"I don't know if I can keep this down," he muttered, talking to Michonne instead of Carol.

Michonne glanced at her but then back at Rick. "You have to try."

Carol cleared her throat and leaned against the desk. "Your body is probably just trying to shut down. Unless we give it the fuel it needs to bounce back, it's gonna keep shutting down. Try to eat as much as you can, even if you can't finish it. And drink all of what's in that bottle." She headed towards the door, since Michonne seemed willing to stay with him. Maybe Daryl's fears were all for nothing.

"Carol?" Michonne's voice caused her to stop.

She turned around, bracing herself for a confrontation. Glenn had told her that not everyone had agreed with what Rick had done but she didn't know who. "Yeah?" She asked, keeping her own voice impassive.

Michonne held her gaze for a few long intense moments before she nodded. "Thank you."

Carol breathed a sigh of relief and then offered her a small nod of her own before she left the room. She wasn't sure what she was going to do about any of this. For the moment, Rick was ill and she couldn't force them out. She wouldn't force them out even if he was well. But she wasn't sure if this would work. There were eleven women in her group, plus Merle, Daryl and herself. Her girls didn't trust Rick's group and she didn't blame them.

Then again, her group hadn't trusted Daryl or Merle either. Not many of them, anyway. She couldn't force the other group away with two children and a pregnant woman. She wasn't sure when Maggie was due, or even if a baby would survive considering Maggie hadn't had a way to really provide herself with the nutrients she needed. There was a lot to think about here and she needed to talk to her own people, see what they thought the best route would be.

She stepped past the living room where everyone had slept the night before and stopped in her tracks. Carl and Mercy were sitting on the couch, facing one another. Her eyes widened when she saw the girl pass the notebook to the boy. Carl read the words and then gestured with his hands rapidly. Mercy studied the movements and then repeated them. When she messed up Carl would shake his head and correct her. The girl grinned once she finally had the gestures down.

Sign language.

Somehow, somewhere before the world ended, Carl had learned sign language and he was teaching the girl how to communicate without using the notebook.

Carl looked up then and smiled, offering her a small wave.

Carol stepped into the room then, her own eyes wide as she took in the wide excited eyes of the girl.

"My mom had a friend that was deaf. I learned sign language from the woman's daughter when I was eight," he explained.

"Show me," Carol said, pulling up a chair, her heart beating out an excited rhythm in her chest.

Carl nodded and waited for Carol to pull the chair closer.

~H~

Merle found the woman in the attic, exactly where he had expected to find her. The memory of what had happened the night before, the fucking anguish that the woman hid behind that ever present anger, and he scowled. He wasn't even sure why he was seeking her out.

"See anything interestin'?" he asked, crossing his arms and peering out the window.

She turned, the sunlight hitting the scars on her face in a way that made them scream out at him. He didn't turn his gaze away though. This morbid imperfection wasn't something that hindered her looks in his opinion. They made her look dangerous, but the beauty she had possessed before the end of the world was still very much there in face, scars or not. She finally shrugged. "Not really. It's just a little too crowded down there for my taste I guess."

Merle agreed. "Get used to it. That's the thing about my brother and Carol. In the end, it won't matter what Rick's done in the past. They're here to stay if that's what Rick's group wants. Goddamn bleedin' hearts."

She made a disgusted sound. "If it's the kids they're worried about then I say we keep them and then force the rest of them out. We don't need disloyalty here. We don't need someone here that would happily throw the rest of us to the wolves if it suited him. And his group will do what he says because they still think like they thought before all of this. They need someone to lead them."

"You're preachin' to the choir, woman. I know that and you know that, but in the end it ain't gonna matter, even though Carol and Daryl know it too."

"You think we'll get lucky and he'll just die? That's the only thing I can think of that will settle the tension."

"I hope the hell so. I've hated that man ever since he bitch hit me with that rifle on that rooftop and then left me for dead."

"I don't fucking get it," she grumbled, her eyes back to the window. "What he did to her, he'd do it to anyone."

"Maybe he won't want to stay here. I don't think Rick Grimes can stomach a place where he ain't cock of the walk, and he knows he won't be here. He needs that."

"He needs a bullet in the balls," she groused, "And then another in the face."

Merle wished that there wasn't so fucking much to love about this woman. "Maybe he'll grow on you. You wasn't too fond of me either and you seem to have warmed up. You tied my ass to a pole and stripped down to my unmentionables, woman!"

It worked. She flashed him a grin. "That was fun."

He snorted.

"Oh, come on. You knew I wasn't really going to kill you. I just needed to let you know who was boss."

"You damn liar. You wanted to kill me and you know it."

Her smile faded and she finally looked at him. Really looked at him. Her eyes changed then. There wasn't any of that rage simmering in their dark depths and none of that quiet black humor that matched his own. He was looking at the woman behind the bravado. "You got me out of there when you had a chance." She shrugged. "Maybe it was all to little to late, but you got me out. I never would have actually hurt you. I owe you one. I owe you more than one."

That sinking feeling returned. "What do you mean, to little to late?"

She looked back towards the glass. "I was already dead. Inside, I've been gone. I'm one step up from a fucking walker, Merle. I am, and it's a scary feeling. It's what makes killing easy. I don't feel bad when I do it. I feel envious. Cause they get to die and they get some sort of peace out of their death. I died and just get to walk around hollow."

Her words echoed in his mind. He kept staring at her but she wouldn't look at him now. He guessed it was because she hadn't really meant to drop that guard. She needed people to look at her like she was strong because inside, she was screaming and she couldn't stop. He had no idea what to say to her. He had no idea what to do to try to help her. He didn't even understand why he wanted to.

"I guess I need to grab my brother and try to see if there's anything edible out there we can kill. More mouths to feed around here," he said, needing to get away from her and hating the feeling. He wished she had just kept this all to herself. He didn't want to think about it.

She nodded. "That's a good idea. I'd hate for any of them to starve." The corner of her mouth came up in a half hearted smiled and she bumped her shoulder against his.

He chuckled but it was forced. "See ya later, woman."