Hey Everyone, yeah it's been a little awhile, but here you guys all are a new chapter that hopefully makes up for the last one. Good things happen. Though in the next chapter, I mess them all up again...I should stop doing that, but it's just to much fun. Anyways thank you guys for all the Alerts and Favs. All of you are truly amazing. Please keep your amazingness up. =)

If you please, Read, alert, favor, review, and most importantly enjoy. (Because that's the reason I write). Now, I'm going to go to bed. But I promise I'll see you soon with chapter 9.

~Kai

Chairman Meow stretched, his butt sticking straight up in the air, before he settled down in Alec's lap. How Alec had ended up in Magnus's apartment was kind of a blur. But somehow once again he found himself sitting upon Magnus's indigo couch. His eye lids still felt heavy from all the crying he had done up on the roof. Magnus was hustling about the kitchen, but for what, he wasn't sure. What he wanted to do was sleep, just to have this damn day end. To go to sleep and wake up the next morning, praying that the new day would be better than this one. The once perfect moment with Magnus of that morning, was nothing but faint memories overshadowed by the devastating blow of the news, or in this case, lack of news.

He scratched the Chairman behind the ear, and the cat purred. They had become quite the friends since Alec's increasing number of visits, over the past couple of months. Magnus had seemed surprised by the bonding, claiming that the Chairman hadn't ever liked anyone other than himself before. He closed his eyes and pressed the cat a little tighter into his chest, the cat squirmed a for a moment as he readjusted himself on his chosen lap, seeming to sense Alec's need for comfort.

"I think I got too ahead of myself. I was overwhelmed by the happiness I had allowed myself. After spending all those months denying it to myself, I let Magnus in like he was a breath of fresh air. What was I thinking?" Alec sighed as the Chairman stared at him with his large green eyes.

"You probably thought that something wonderful might happen." Magnus's voice was soft as he came over and sat next to Alec on the couch. "I might have pushed you too much in the beginning and I'm sorry for that. I honestly just thought that you had commitment issues and were just a tad over dramatic about them. For that terrible assumption, I apologize."

Alec slowly shook his head. "I didn't do anything I didn't want to do. I wanted to be happy and I…." his voice trailed off.

"Still want to be with me?" Magnus asked slowly, like he was testing the waters. He knew Alec was on unstable ground and he didn't want to cause him to panic more. It was something Jace would have done for him, maybe that had been why Alec had been attracted to Magnus from the very beginning. He reflected a number of Jace's traits that Alec had loved. They weren't mirrored reflections, but they shared underlying values that were close to Alec's heart.

Slowly he nodded his head. He did want to be with Magnus and there was only one thing he wanted more. But he wasn't about to sacrifice his new happiness on only a slim possibility that Max might come back. It was just so unlikely. How horrible must he be to honestly believe that? A shiver shot up his spine and tears began to well back up in his eyes. How could there still be more?

"But I don't think you should give up hope for Max." Magnus sputtered in a rush. Was this man capable of reading his mind?

"But the statistics…"

"It doesn't matter what the statistics say. Some times for your own sake, you just got to keep hoping," Magnus said as he reached out and brushed a tear out of the corner of Alec's eye. The two of them stared at one another, until Magnus reached out and grabbed Alec's hand.

It seemed amazing to him that Magnus could bring about this kind of calm in him. Often he felt like waves were constantly churning around in his insides, tearing holes, and wreaking havoc. Yet, Magnus would only touch him, the lightest of brushes against his cheek, his hands, his lips, and the waves would still to focus on him.

"I want to have hope, but I can't build myself up to have it all come crashing down on me. I'm not strong enough."

"There you go with all that 'I' I crap. Do you actually think I would let you go through all of that alone?" Magnus demanded as he squeezed Alec's hand tighter.

"I can't expect you to be around for forever. You'll get tired of the guilt and self-loathing. We've only been dating a day, if you can even call it that. I can't put that kind of pressure on you. What if you come to resent me because of it? God, Magnus I don't want to lose you too."

Magnus leaned forward and brushed his lips against his, and whispered. "Let me decide how much pressure I can handle." Slowly he pulled back and Alec bit his lip as he felt like there might be a but somewhere in this conversation. "But since, you unloaded your baggage on me, I thought it might be fair if I to shared mine."

Alec blinked at him in surprise. This hadn't been what he had expected at all. Sure, up on the roof he had mentioned it, but that had been out of anger, and him selfishly taking it out on Magnus. He released it all, him missing Max and how it cut into his bone, just shy of the veins, where his blood ran dark and hot under his skin. It was torture, but being without Magnus would be worse. At least with Magnus there was a light, even if it was as brief as lightning breaking the sky.

"No, you don't have to admit anything you're not ready to admit yet. I only said that…" Alec's voice trailed off, Magnus already knew why he had said those things, there was no need to be repeating himself.

"I know, but you were right. I always pried answers out of you for all of my questions, but I never volunteered any information myself because I knew deep down that you would be too polite to ask as personal of questions. It's just not in your nature and I took advantage of that." Magnus sighed.

Magnus reached out and scratched the Chairman behind the ears, but he stayed curled up on Alec's lap.

"Magnus, please we don't have to talk about this…I just want…" Magnus shifted on the couch and placed a hand on his chest as he leaned forward slamming their lips together in a forceful kiss.

Alec's hand weaved his fingers through Magnus's dark locks, while Magnus's hands teased, brushing across the waistband of his jeans. He groaned. God, did he want this, but…Magnus pulled away sensing his hesitation.

"Yeah, you're right not the best time, and I haven't even take you on that date I promised. How about you pick where you want to go?" Magnus said as a wide grin spread across his face. Not seeming hurt that Alec had kind of de-buffed his advances.

Alec bit his lip. He knew exactly where he wanted to go with Magnus, but it seemed silly and his cheeks flared up with heat. "I'd like to go to the zoo." He mumbled as he buried his face in his hands.

Magnus laughed. "That sounds great. It's been years since I went to the zoo."

"We use to go all the time, the whole family but stopped since Max's disappearance. And I guess I miss it." Alec muttered, his face still warm as he dropped his hands down into his lap, and locking eyes with Magnus.

"Never completely give what makes you happy, unless it's drugs give that stuff. It's bad for your body." Magnus teased and leaned forward kissing Alec once again.

"Well, isn't that rich coming from a guy who stress smokes in hiding, afraid that his cat with judge him." Alec teased back. Magnus winked at him.

How could it be that simple? But it was. What kind of magic powers did Magnus have? Sure, he couldn't stop the pain completely, but it felt lighter, more manageable. It was like Magnus was the sunrise being over the hills, signaling the darkest part was over. It was amazing what a few hours spent with the one you loved made you feel.

Alec suddenly stopped breathing. Was he honestly in love with Magnus? It was hard to tell at this particular moment in his life, but he knew he wanted to get the chance to find out. He wanted to be given the opportunity fall in love, if he wasn't already there. Everyone wanted that, to fall in love and be loved in return.

"Turn around, I want to take a picture of you and the porcupine. Other than all the glitter, you guys could practically be twins," Alec said as Magnus turned and scowled at him.

"Ha ha, you're so funny Alexander."

"I did think I was pretty hilarious," Alec said with a big grin on his face.

It was a beautiful first day of Spring and just like Magnus promised they went on their first date to the zoo. The sun was shining, boasting ideals of grandeur, teasing that the winter weather might finally behind him. Sure, there would still be a few cold days through the next couple of months, but the weather was on the upswing.

It had taken them a couple of weeks to get there, the drama of nearly finding Max had subsided, with life returning to steady rhythm. That mostly consisted of Alec spending even more time with Magnus, if that was at all possible. But on occasion Alec felt like the wind had been knocked out of his lungs. But he wasn't going to let that happen today. He wasn't going to wallow and let this date that Magnus worked hard to plan get wrecked by his guilt.

"I know this is probably hard for you," Magnus said as he reached out and took Alec's hand.

He nodded. It was hard, but it wasn't as hard as he thought it could have been. The detective had been right that day. Whatever Alec had been doing about getting better, was working and being out on a day like this with Magnus made him want to keep getting better. Sure, he doubted he would ever completely get over the devastating loss of Max, but like Magnus had said he just needed to keep hoping and for right now that had to be enough.

"It is, but I want to be here. I wanted to show you what makes me happy. There is so much I wanted to tell you about Max. I want to tell you everything. His favorite animal are the giraffes," Alec said as he pointed over towards their enclosure with his free hand, his camera slapping against his wrist.

Magnus nodded and squeezed his hand tighter.

Over the last couple of weeks Magnus had been acting a little strange. Alec thought it might have guilt because Alec had unloaded all of his bag upon him, but Magnus still had revealed nothing. But that was fine with him, he wanted Magnus to tell him about his life on his own terms, not just when he felt pressured to.

This was also the biggest reason Alec held off on telling Magnus he loved him. It felt like it was obvious that he did, but something made him pause every time the words were about to leave his lips.

Together the two of them walked through the zoo seeing all the animals and the exhibits the zoo offered. The last stop was the gift shop, where Magnus purchased him a stuffed lion. Alec looked at it with raised eyebrows.

"I'm not sure I understand."

"You are a lion." Magnus paused and tilted his head to the side like he was realizing something for the first time. "Maybe, that's why the Chairman loves you so much, you are one of his own."

Alec laughed. He guessed there were probably much worse things to be than a cat that got laze around Magnus's apartment all day and shed cat hair on everything. It sounded pretty good.

"Why am I a lion?" He asked and Magnus shrugged as he looked down at his shoes in embarrassment, a very unlike Magnus thing to do.

"Mostly because you're the bravest person I know, but there are a thousand other reasons that would take me far too long to list."