Author's Note; Welcome to hell dear reader. I have recently rediscovered my two long loves and have decided to write a FMA and HP crossover featuring Professor Ed. Just some things to note before you begin it's the Brotherhood Timeline and ah Ed still has Alchemy. I have no reason as to why so just roll with it. Everything else is the same. Cannon pairings in all universes aside from Edward/Greed/Ling. I dunno poly Bisexual Ed. Edwin, EdGreedLing, maybe some Almei? We'll see.

Second thing to note, this fic is garbage. I mean it. It's one of the worst things I've written in a while. But you know what? I don't care and I love it anyway. It's a love letter to myself. It has flaws, out of characterness here and there, and bull shit that just happens because it can. It doesn't take itself seriously and neither should you. It's good, cheesy fun with some serious themes here and there. The writing is bad but like I said I don't care! It's my trash baby fic by me for me, describing my love to me. I just wanna share.

Have fun and enjoy my absolute trash :)

It had been a month since Edward had went off to search the west, and learn about their forms of Alchemy. He started heading South West to the country of Aerugo. Aerugo was an interesting country, with a rainy and cold climate. Even though it was a southern nation. Something about sea currents and wind pressure making it so cold. Aside from the cold it was a forest region. With woods so thick and trees so high it sometimes felt like he was walking at night.

Ed marched on, ignoring the slight ache in his left leg from the weather. He was traveling the forest because of a rumor. An old legion saying that there was a doorway that lead to another world. Hardly anyone had seen it ever and most thought it to be a myth. But something about it had peaked Edward's interest. It might not lead to another world but it would most likely be interesting and help his research.

However, it was starting to wear on him. What would this door even look like? He sighed as he marched on. Honestly, this trek through the woods reminded him of running around the Amestrian woods with Greed. He smiled softly. Edward had been very stressed at the time with the upcoming Promise Day, but Greed sure knew how to relieve pressure when he wanted it. A soft blush dusted Ed's cheeks as he remembered those days.

"I want everything Ed. That includes you"

"Well, why shouldn't I want love? I'm Greed the avaricious. I want the finer things and whats finer than Love and World domination?"

"The prince wanted me to tell you he likes your ass too"

Ed gave a hard sigh. He missed Greed. It hurt to think about sometimes. Though he's sure even if Greed had survived he'd still be with Winry. She was the love of his life really- but he supposed Greed would want them both. And others. Maybe Winry could have enjoyed him too.

He shook the thought. He needed to focus on the task at hand, finding this stupid door or whatever it was and not think about something like that. He stomped his feet a little annoyed with his own thoughts. He was so wrapped up, he nearly passed what was clearly the door he was looking for.

He turned his attention to it. It was rather small and embedded into a rock. Fancy writing on it saying something in a language Edward couldn't read. He came closer, bending down the tiniest bit to get a good look.

"Sorta looks like Aerugian? But more... I dunno gruff?" He mumbled aloud. "Okay- that word is similar to Doorway, but..." He gave a hard sigh. "Well. Let's take a look at this magic doorway." He used his right hand, and opened the handle. It came open with some trouble but he the door was dark, but Ed could make out a long path covered in cobwebs. He grinned. "Well I'll be damned. Let's see where you go." He walked in, feeling his way down a path. It seemed to only be about 20 yards or so until he hit another door. He found the handle and came out into the woods again.

Accept it was a different wood and it was the middle of the night. Edward looked behind him. The way he came in was still open and poured in sunlight. His jaw nearly dropped. It wasn't possible. Was it? A door that lead to another world? Or perhaps it was just more world than they thought they had...

He took a step back and surveyed his surroundings. It was warm, felt like summer. Which was strange. It should be in the middle of March. This was definitely late summer air. He walked back down the path and checked he had a way back. It would be no use to get stuck someplace like this. Once he made sure he had an escape route he carried on.

These woods were different. The trees felt more alive somehow and the air was thick with something. The best he could describe it was the way Ling had described "The Dragon's Pulse". He moved on until the silhouette of a castle was seen in the distance. He followed it and came to the end of the forest. The first thing was a small hut. It looked cozy.

But the castle seemed to draw him near. It was the source of this feeling. He walked up the path and other a long wooden bridge before arriving at the front door. Should he knock? The castle looked inhabited. He shook his head and just came in. The inside was lovely with dark stone floors and another door before him. Voices could be heard inside... Not many, 10 maybe?

Edward's military instincts kicked in as he listened at the door. He could hear several people, men and woman. They seemed to be having as far as Edward could tell... A meeting. However, he couldn't understand a lick of it. Suddenly the voices stopped and the doors seemed to open on their own. Causing poor Ed to fall into the room. He face planted into the hard floor as the voices grew closer.

He looked up- he seemed to be in some sort of eating hall with long tables. Candles floated and the sky seemed to shine through the roof. Before he could even process it, several sticks were pointed at him. Which was very funny looking to him- especially because the people holding them were all in dresses and pointy hats. Edward couldn't help but roar with laughter.

"I'm sorry-" He started "I'm sure you're trying to threaten me but sticks? God did I have too much to drink or what..." He calmed down, looking at all the people. None of them seemed to have understood him.

The oldest of the group said something and they all put the sticks down. The old man turned to Edward and offered a friendly smile. Edward hesitated before smiling back. He wasn't going to hurt them and would like to apologise for trespassing. If he could speak the language. The old man said something again and gave his stick a wave.

And suddenly- like a ton of bricks Edward knew English. It was very sudden and he was self aware that in an instant he knew a second language.

"What the fuck?" Were the first words in English he ever spoke. The words were perfect, but he still had an accent. Almost German sounding. "That's weird."

"My apologies. I simply had to fix the language barrier if we were going to get anywhere." The old man said in a calm voice. "My name is Albus Dumbledore, and may I ask your name and how you came to be here."

"How did- whatever I'll ask later. I'm Edward Elric- I found this weird door that lead into your woods out there."

"A door in the forbidden forest?" An old woman in green asked. "Sir does he mean the one we could never open?"

"It's open now. I think." Ed said "I double checked. Leads straight to Aerugo. Anyway- where am I? And what's with the sticks?"

"Their wands. And this is Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry." Dumbledore said with a pleasant smile. Once again Edward laughed.

"Is he a muggle...?" A woman asked.

"He got in- He can't be." The old woman said

"No, he's no muggle." Dumbledore said. "Did you say Aerugo? I'm not familiar with that place- but you look like a man I once knew who spoke of strange places. Tell me, are you familiar with a country called Amestris?"

"Yep. It's where I'm from." Edward said, wiping away a tear from laughter.

"Then I imagine you are an alchemist."

"One of the best- but back to this English thing. How am I speaking it?"

"I used a language charm on you." Dumbledore said simply "Alchemist... It seems our worlds have come together once more. It seems we have a lot to talk about. The rest of you get to bed, the students will be here in a few weeks time for the start of term, perhaps we will be adding a last second new subject. Please Mr. Alchemist come this way."