Practical Applications

Kaito isn't the best with relationships. Actually, he's pretty awkward in romantic situations, which is the opposite of Yuuma. They may not be the best of friends, but when Kaito finally accepts his pitiful romantic endeavors, he seeks the help of the much more experienced Yuuma. The only trouble is...

Author's note: I'm in rarepair hell.

"I need your help," are the first words Kaito Shion ever speaks directly to him, alone, with no school context.

Well, alone is relative, because they're technically in a hallway full of students. But the two of them are alone in the sense that no one else, not their few mutual friends nor a teacher, is stand with them. Which is usually the case, because Kaito and Yuuma don't talk.

But Yuuma, being the guy he is (i.e. not a huge asshole) puts his usual friendly smile and says, "What is it, dude?"

Kaito's nervousness is obvious. He's bad at maintaining eye-contact, bad at filling a space with his presence. It's annoying in a way Yuuma can't place, but he knows it has something to do with the fact that he and Kaito are opposites in that sense.

"Can we maybe… Talk somewhere quieter? And privater?" Kaito asks, which divulges absolutely nothing and answers Yuuma's question in exactly zero ways. But he can cut Kaito a bit of slack, even if shy people are annoying.

Well, maybe difficult is a better word…

"Sure," Yuuma agrees. Be the nice guy, Yuuma. You're the nice guy. "But I'll miss my bus if this takes too long."

Kaito jumps in quickly after that, running his mouth as soon as Yuuma's closed his. "I can drive you home," he offers. Yuuma keeps smiling and tries to ignore the urge to quirk his eyebrow questioningly.

"Sounds chill by me," he says. "We'll just talk in your car, then."

Kaito's face is ever so slightly tinged red, and he's so obviously embarrassed about the situation that it's painful to look at. Ugh. How tiresome.

"It's, um… It's in the student parking lot," Kaito mutters, hands on the strap of his large shoulderbag. Probably weighed down with textbooks or something. What a responsible student.

"I figured," Yuuma allows himself, which comes out less scathing and more teasing. He follows Kaito out of the juniors hall, where most of the lockers for his age group are located. Yuuma didn't necessarily have plans after school today, but hey. Maybe he had wanted to go spend time with his current girlfriend. Maybe they would've gone to see a movie and spent a marvellous time together. Now, it looks like he's stuck with Kaito for a while yet.

Kaito's car is blue, a bit rusted, and used, which really doesn't surprise him. Yuuma's dated Shions before (Kaito's cousin comes to mind. What was her name? Who knows; they all sound the same anyway) so he knows they aren't exceptionally well-off. But they manage well enough for Kaito to have a car, which is more than he can say for himself.

Not that he can even drive. A car would be pretty pointless considering that small fact.

Ever the gentleman, Kaito opens the passenger side door for him, which is just really weird. Who does that? Yuuma doesn't mention it though, opting to slide into the front seat with his bag at his feet. He slides the seat back as far as it'll go and leans back, his arms behind his head. Kaito neglects to stick his keys in the ignition, which makes him think they won't be going anywhere for a while.

"So, what did you need help with, Kaito?" Yuuma asks with a grin. In turn, Kaito glances in his direction and settles his eyes back on the steering wheel. His shoulders are stony and his hands sit awkwardly in his lap as he mutters his reply.

Yuuma gives him a once over as he says, "Excuse me, but you may need to repeat that at a level recognizable to the human ear instead of a bat." And damn, he sounds teasing again. Better than outright mean.

"I need help with a girl."

Of course.

Despite the fact that he's not the nicest or most popular guy, Yuuma is fairly used to people coming to him for girl advice. Maybe it's the friendly vibe he so falsely gives off. He doesn't really know, but he has a history of these sorts of things.

It's funny how guys think girls are all one in the same. Every girl Yuuma's dated has been different; different interests, different emotional reactions, you name it. But it's a pain to tell them that, so he just tells the guy what he wants to hear. Buy her some flowers. Talk to her about her interests. And when she finally goes off the deep end (which is usually the guy's fault. Not that all guys are assholes to women, just the guys who ask for Yuuma's advice. Why does everyone think he's a douchebag?), he tells them that there are plenty of other fish in the sea and women are annoyingly emotional anyway.

A few years back, he remembers an incident with a friend of his. He says friend, but the truth is Yuuma couldn't stand the guy. He doesn't know what it is about his relationships with people, but he just can't seem to ignore the jerks he ends up befriending.

Anyway, it's all a little fuzzy. The guy in question, a classmate, asked for advice and help, same as Kaito. He followed said advice very badly.

What part of "don't use demeaning language" was so hard to grasp, anyway? All you had to do was be a decent person and genuinely like the girl you were dating. And if you managed that, half the work was done.

Over the years, he refined his rules, coming down to four key ones for all of the guys he gave advice to to remember.

Be a nice person

Respect the girl you're interested in

Don't blame Yuuma for your screw ups

It's not all about sex for god's sake

Rule three was broken more often than the others, which he supposed was okay. That particular rule was just for his own good. The rest were for the girls. What could he say, he was a romantic at heart.

(Sarcasm, by the way. Something everyone seems to misunderstand is that basic human respect isn't romantic - it's goddamn necessary.)

There have been a few guys like Kaito before; shy, sweet, eager. And plenty of them turned into some of his worst customers. Kaito could be just as he appears. Or Kaito could be the next mess to clean up.

Yuuma's policy is to turn away no customer, though, so he's agreeing in an instant.

"What kind of help?" Yuuma asks.

Kaito's frame remains still, though his fingers play together in his lap. He's looking down at them, ignoring Yuuma's intense stare. Understandable. And pretty common.

"I… want to ask her out," he answers. "But, um… She's never been out with a boy before, and I have no idea if she even likes me."

Not a problem. He's dealt with this before. "We can work with that," Yuuma tells him. "Are you guys friends? Classmates?"

"I think we're… Um, friends. Yeah. We've hung out outside of school before." Kaito's hung out with girls? That's news to him.

"Great. So we know she at least wants to spend time with you." Oh Christ. "What kind of girl is she?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, is she very open about relationships? Is she shy? Does she flirt?"

Kaito shifts uncomfortably. "I'm sorry, I don't know… I don't really know what flirting looks like."

Of course he doesn't, Yuuma thinks. "That's fine. I think it would be best for you to just go with honesty and… uh, niceness. Flirting isn't necessary."

Kaito seems relieved at that.

"Here's what you should do," Yuuma begins. "Ask her out casually. The two of your seem friendly already. But let her know that it's okay if she says no. Don't trap her. And ask her where she'd want to go. But since you're asking her on a date, I would pay for it unless she seems really into it. It's the polite thing to do when you're the one inviting someone out."

Kaito is hanging onto his every word like it's gospel. The Lord has descended from the heavens and he's here to tell you how to treat a lady right. Hallelujah.

It would really help if Kaito would tell him who this girl is.

"Okay," Kaito replies. "I can do that."

Yuuma knows he's missed his bus by now. He usually has to hurry after school to catch it, but damn him and his charitable heart, because Kaito's gone and become his next case and stolen his ride home.

"If that's all, do you think you can drive me home now or something?" Yuuma asks, trying not to sound annoyed. He pulls it off in the end.

"Oh, um. Yeah. Sorry," Kaito says, and turns the key in the ignition. "Where do you live?"

The car ride there is silent up until they pull up to the curb. Yuuma lifts himself and his heavy-ass bag out of the car, waiting a moment before he shuts the door. In that last moment before he closes it, he doesn't say goodbye. No, that would be too simple.

"It isn't a girl, is it?" he asks.

Kaito's face as the window comes between the two of them is priceless. Oh, Yuuma's going to have fun with this one.

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