Sheldon knew he had to tell Amy how much she meant to him, but he needed to do it in his own way. He couldn't let her see it in his face... not just yet...

"Amy, I need you. You understand me in ways no one else ever has, or can now, and you love me in spite of everything we've been through. But I need you to be completely honest with me. And I don't think you have always been."

Sheldon looked up into Amy's face, and saw the shock in her eyes. He didn't think he could have hurt her worse if he'd physically slapped her, and that distressed Sheldon more than anything Amy had said. He, too, was met with a moment where his heart wanted to just kiss it all away… but not now. Amy needed to know everything.

"Amy, this is the first time you've truly shared all your hurt feelings with me. I know you shared them with Penny; she told me after she and Leonard came back from their wedding that you'd been considering leaving for a while. I knew I wasn't always easy to work with… but I didn't know I had been a bad boyfriend."

Sheldon couldn't look at Amy anymore, and focused on their joined hands instead. This time, it was Amy who held tightly in spite of Sheldon's shaking, and not a few of Sheldon's tears that dampened their physical connection.

"I may have superior intelligence in so many things, but in the one that matters more than anything, I am nothing." Sheldon whispered. Amy gasped at Sheldon's admission, and then regained her composure.

"You are everything, Sheldon," she corrected him, squeezing his hands tightly in hers. "Everything to me. Don't you know that?"

"No," Sheldon admitted, as he lifted his head to look directly at her once again. The tears abated, and Sheldon was able to speak the crucial truth. "I know I've hurt you, so many times, but I don't know when it happens that I've done it. I know I'm hard to live with; Leonard and Penny will speak to that. I know I'm harder to love – you can tell me that for yourself."

Sheldon continued. "But for some reason… you don't. You've carried it inside of yourself, until you had to unload all your hurt to someone. Instead of me, when we could have worked through whatever I had done to upset you, you chose your friends.

I don't know when we stopped being able to talk, Amy, but it happened. And when your hurt became too much for you to take, and your talking to Penny and Bernadette wasn't helping anymore... you left. You left... and I didn't understand why..."

Sobs wracked Sheldon's body as the tears ran down his face in a torrent. It was the first time Sheldon had truly and fully allowed anyone else to see the toll losing Amy had taken. Amy lunged forward and pulled Sheldon forcibly into her arms. She felt his body shaking in his grief, and wondered how she could possibly pull him back from the dungeon his despair had drug him to...

"I tried everything, Amy," Sheldon sobbed into her hair. "I tried talking to you, but it always came out wrong or you wouldn't listen. I didn't know how to make things right again; everything I said only seemed to make it worse. Then you said we were through...

When you started dating other people, Howard and Raj talked me into trying to date someone else, also."

Amy stiffened; her pale complexion blanched stark white. She'd heard about the incident at the bar, where Sheldon had under the effect of less than one beer had hit on a couple of people, who turned him down outright. But she hadn't known the guys had convinced him to continue looking.

The same feelings that Sheldon experienced when he heard Amy had been dating, and had been given time to process… Amy was suddenly hit with those emotions head-on, and with full force. The torment was evident on her face.

Sheldon missed Amy's initial reaction; he leaned backward, escaping from her embrace. Sheldon nearly laughed out loud at the memory of the combined intellectual prowess of Howard, Raj, and himself, in finding Sheldon a potential date. "It was a marvelous plan, Amy. We set up an on-line puzzle the other party would have to solve in order to find me... a riddle... they'd have to understand math, physics, Middle Earth from Tolkien, and Star Trek, to find my apartment."

Amy smiled, in spite of herself. It sounded perfectly like Sheldon.

"When the doorbell finally rang... well, I hoped. I hoped it would be you.

I opened the door, and a perfectly nice girl stood on the other side of the doorway. And the plan had worked. Vanessa was everything I could want in an intellectual companion..."

Amy's heart dropped through the floor.

"And I let her go. I told her it was a shame; she was ten seconds too late. But that was only part of the truth.

She was everything I had asked for in the ad, Amy... But she wasn't you."

Amy fully understood. Dave had been perfectly lovely (OK, maybe a little odd, but who wasn't), and perfectly suited to her... but he wasn't Sheldon.

Sheldon continued. "When you and I went together to the aquarium for dinner on Thanksgiving, I felt like time had turned backward. It felt like we were where we had always been... friends first..."

Amy vividly remembered their journey that day. The car ride to the aquarium, where the openness of their communication was restored. No subject was off the table, and complete honesty ruled the day.

Later, after dinner, they walked around the tanks, and created with one of their own games, this time about the fish. Most importantly, the phoenix of their friendship had risen from the ashes. The mythical creature's beautiful multi-hued wings glistened in the streaming sunlight; her cry of joy rang clear as a chorus of angels. And at the time, while Amy rejoiced that she and Sheldon had regained their intellectual bond in their short time together, something else deep inside her cried out for more...

Sheldon remembered, too... Amy had called that evening, after dinner with her mother. Amy wanted to return to their previous relationship - to go back to where they were before the break. It took everything Sheldon had within him, but he denied her. What if another break happened, and the next time, there was no chance of a reconciliation? There was only so much pain his heart could take - it had been so hard the first time - and Sheldon wasn't certain he could survive it again.

"Amy, I learned something important Thanksgiving morning in the car. When you told me about the three men you dated... I know you must have had opportunity, but you hadn't slept with any of them.

This break-up was never about coitus for you, was it?"

Amy shook her head, sadly. "No, Sheldon, it never was," was Amy's soft reply. "It was always about..."

"Commitment." Sheldon finished for Amy. He took her hands in his own, and held her gaze without wavering.

"Amy, I said "No" to returning to our relationship to you that night because I didn't know if I could survive another breakup between us. The pain was too great. I thought it would have been better to be alone than hurt like that... It would be safer for us to remain only friends...

Then, three days ago, I heard a song on the radio that continuously replayed inside my head all day. I knew the song, but I couldn't remember the lyrics or the name. Yesterday, it finally clicked which song was in an infinite loop in my brain: The Beach Boys were singing "Darlin,'" and it was like the song's lyrics were speaking to me..."

The song Sheldon heard had become an 'ear-worm,' a message that burrowed itself like a parasite through the ridges of Sheldon's grey matter. Instead of inflicting harm, however, this helminth sought a reawakening of the love Sheldon guarded deep within his heart.

"...and wouldn't let go. I thought I was going crazy. I started a video series to chronicle my demise. But then I looked up the lyrics on line. And I finally knew what was happening... all that was in front of me, all that I stood to lose."

Amy looked down, unable to control the pounding of her heart, knowing what had happened between the two of them in this room, only one day ago... how much she had stood to lose, too, if things had gone differently...

A warm, strong hand lifted her face by the chin, to restore their visual connection. He smiled into her soul.

"Amy, the Beach Boys told me what I already knew: You make me a better person. You've done more than support me in everything I want in life. You soften my hard edges, and help me to understand other people. You taught me to love someone else more than I love myself… you."

Amy's heart soared once again at Sheldon's protestation of love for her. It always feels as special as that first time on the night of Prom, Amy reflected, basking in the warm glow of the memory.

"Amy, I told you the other night that getting over you was something I wasn't good at. It was only a partial truth. I'm not good at getting over you, that's true. But the complete truth, is that I never did." Sheldon finally admitted his full heart into evidence. And Amy accepted it with a grateful smile.

"I more than need you… I want you. I love you. I am committed to you, and to our relationship together."

Sheldon breathed deeply, allowing this revelation to settle within both Amy and himself. "But if we're going to continue together, I need to you help me in this as well. We can't go back to where we were before our anniversary, or history could repeat itself.

I need you to tell me when you're upset with me and why. I can't guess, Amy… it's another thing I'm not very good at. You're going to have to be honest with me, so we can work through whatever we have to face."

Sheldon was quiet for a moment, and Amy pondered a truism she hadn't considered. I thought by keeping some of the things that hurt me to myself, I wouldn't scare him... But they built up, and my silence nearly ruined us… she thought.

Amy pulled Sheldon's hands forward and placed them on her hips. Once secured, she slowly but deliberately ran her hands up Sheldon's arms and around his neck. Amy leaned forward, gently falling flush against his chest, to hold him close as she whispered in his ear.

"I promise, Sheldon. I promise to love you, and to help you as I can. And I promise to share with you when I'm hurt, so that we can learn together. You are my everything. I am committed to making this relationship work for us both."

Sheldon's breath left him, and he wrapped his arms around Amy's waist. His heart had hurt for such a long time that Sheldon nearly didn't believe he would ever be this happy again. Joy enveloped his heart, and the warmth spread throughout his chest... it was a moment before Sheldon trusted himself to answer Amy's vow.

"I promise to try to be better for you, Amy... to be the boyfriend you deserve. I promise to always love you. But I won't promise to make you a priority."

Amy startled immediately, and pulled away, sitting upright. This time, Sheldon saw Amy's anguish plain on her face. But Sheldon knew without being told what was wrong. It had been intended... he needed her full attention, and Sheldon had it without question. Sheldon's heart needed to speak for itself, and this time, did so without hesitation.

"You can't be only a priority… not when you are the priority in my life.

Science, my career, the Nobel... none of it matters, Amy. Not if you're not there to share it with me."

Amy's face softened, and Sheldon leaned in toward her.

The voracity of Sheldon and Amy's kisses the night before clamored of unexpressed passion inside each of them. And there would be time for kisses of their like again.

This time, there was no rush to coming together.

Sheldon reached forward to touch Amy's face, caressing her cheek with the palm of his hand. He wondered, as he had countless times in the past and would innumerable times to come, at the radiance within her deep green eyes. The brilliance of her rekindled joy shown within them. He drew closer to her...

Amy watched with amazement as the smile that only started in his mouth extended upwards across Sheldon's face... a natural, unforced smile that graced all his features, incorporating the deepening ocean blue eyes that Amy would willingly drown within. And Amy held her breath with anticipation as he closed the distance between them...

The first kiss was as soft and ephemeral as the touch of an angel's wings. Sheldon's heart sang as he remembered the feeling this brought within his heart, and finally knew would be his for all time. He leaned back ever so slightly, opening his eyes again, seeking permission...

Amy opened her eyes. Sheldon saw all that he needed to see, just one more time. Wordlessly, permission was granted.

It was Amy's turn to raise her hand to Sheldon's face. She reveled in the warmth of the touch of his skin, the softness of his cheek, and the dampness of the tears that remained on his cheeks from earlier. One trail she wiped free with her fingertips... then Amy had a better idea.

She kissed Sheldon on his cheek, tasting the saline of his tears. Amy trailed both sides of his face with her gentle lips, and Sheldon closed his eyes and sighed happily. Both Sheldon and Amy understood her kisses both cleared away his tears, and sealed away the pain they had caused each other.

Sheldon waited as patiently as he could for Amy, but there was only so much Sheldon could take. Once Sheldon knew what he wanted...

Sheldon took his first opportunity to grasp Amy's hands and pull them back around his neck. He leaned forward, his lips finding their match in Amy's own. Amy gave no hesitation, opening her mouth to allow his open exploration of her. Sheldon, for his part, brooked no delay in taking the opportunity...

There was an extended enjoyment of each other, of the sensation of mouths, tongues, and even breath joining together. And each reveled in the moment, that it should be so. This time, their kisses carried a seal of the promises and commitments made in this evening, and each a pledge to the other and toward their shared future.

Seemingly ages passed; the tea had gone cold, and the hour was later than either expected. Amy offered to take Sheldon home, but he knew he could catch the last bus if he left soon, which was preferable to Amy driving home alone. Amy walked to meet Sheldon at the door, as he put his arm through the sleeve of his coat.

"Text me when you get home, OK?" Amy asked.

Sheldon nodded, drawing Amy in for one last hug before they parted for the night.

"Your birthday is coming in 18 days," Sheldon stated, simply.

In spite of everything that had passed this evening, Amy was a little startled. Sheldon was never one to make a to-do about a birthday, particularly someone else's.

"Yes. Why?" she answered.

"May I take you out to dinner? Someplace nice? Just the two of us this time. I promise."

"That sounds wonderful," Amy sighed as she basked in the warmth of his arms.

Sheldon leaned over, kissing Amy on the top of her head. She looked up at him, meeting his lips once more. Then Amy let him free.

"Good night," she said softly. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Sheldon replied, and closed the door behind him.

Epilogue... in Drabble form...

Front door closed…

Amy's hands ran over door: his body heat might transfer through

Air heady with scent of talc

And for the first time in months, Amy's heart felt whole.

He Loved her… Hope for the future…

And Faith renewed in what their future held.

Amy walked half-stunned to her bedroom, so many changes over this last day

Dressed for bed: soft cotton nightgown

Performed her evening care

Climbed between sheets, underneath blankets

Amy closed her eyes… breathing gentle, heart secure

Dreaming of the man she loved

And a day she would wake to find him beside her.

Front door closed…

Sheldon unwilling to release handle

Amy's warm scent pervasive throughout olfactory nerves

For the first time in months, Sheldon's heart felt whole.

She Loved him… Hope for the future…

And Faith renewed in what their future held.

Sheldon arrived home; key in dish

Wandered semiconscious to bedroom

Changed for bed: Sunday flannel

Bathroom regimen complete

Climbed between sheets

Sheldon settled, closed eyes… then lids snapped open

A new change entered his mind... was he ready?

For her, he would be

Tomorrow to formulate plan

Eyes closed again

Dreamed of a morning he would wake… with Amy in his arms.

Darkness… silence...

Deep within locked wall safe near door

Heavenly light glowed from dark blue velvet box

Many years, many hands… But She is one this stone will cherish

Soon to be released from prison, finding promised hand of newest owner

She who has been and always will be loved

Light seeps through smallest cracks in wall, illuminates desk

Figurine of an ugliest creature… with greatest faith

Stirs, grimacing in presence of light

This jewel calls to him, as another ring of old

"My Precious" he breathes into night air

No one hears

Gollum still again for time to come.

A/N: Many thanks to the masters, literary and musical, whose works give us inspiration… to those from whom I borrowed here, both knowingly and unintentionally… I pledge my gratitude.

Many more thanks to you, the reader. Your participation in this creativity process is critical. Your feedback gives us writers the motivation to continue. Your gift of your time is precious. So please accept my appreciation.