"KILLIAN." Emma screamed as she pulled out of sleep clawing at the covers with fear. She could feel the sweat glistening on her skin. She shot bolt upright to find the other side of the bed empty and cold. She remembered that it was real, her nightmare wasn't a nightmare at all. She pinched her arm lightly trying to wake herself again, hoping for a dream within a dream. Her hopes were quickly dashed.

"Mom." She heard Henry whisper, his voice echoing strangely in the hallway. She remembered that Regina and Robin were having a date night and that Henry was staying over. She glanced up to see him standing in the doorway, plaid pajama bottoms and a white T- shirt on. His face was completely full of concern. "Is everything okay?"

"I just had a nightmare Kid, Sorry I woke you." She said trying to make it seem like everything was fine.

"Should I wake up Mary Margaret?" He asked still looking surprised. She hated that she was back staying with her parents but that was what she needed at the moment.

"No I promise I'll be fine in a few minutes." She tried to lie. "She only got Neal to sleep a few hours ago. Leave her and David be. Let them get some sleep they deserve it after the last few months."

"You were screaming for Killian. You screamed his name when you woke up. I saw you reaching out for him, hoping to find him there." Henry said. "I'm so sorry mom." At those words Henry sat down on the bed next to her, and pulled her close. He could feel her tears begin. Emma hated crying in front of Henry. She was his mother she was supposed to be strong for him. She wasn't supposed to fall apart in front of him.

"I'm sorry Kid, this is too much for you, you shouldn't have to deal with my problems. I am supposed to be doing that kind of stuff for you. Not the other way around.

"Your problems are my problems remember. You're my mother, I want you to be happy, if there is a way to find Hook I want to help. It's operation Sparrow and we are going to make it happen." Henry said. His smile growing again.

"How many times do I have to tell you there is no Operation Sparrow, Killian is gone. He isn't coming back, and I have to face that reality." She pulled away looking him in the eyes now.

"We don't know that he's dead. He is just missing Mom. He could be out there somewhere. We need to find him or at least find out what happened to him."

"He was devastated about what he did. He didn't handle the darkness well. He said and did things, that were... unforgivable. But I love him, and I was dark too. I understood and I wanted to try. He didn't believe he could be redeemed again. He knew he had gone too far. He started taking walks all the time saying he needed to clear his head. The he just..."

"Disappeared?" Henry said almost like a question

"We found his hook, covered in blood in the forest. David found his leather Jacket torn to shreds in the woods nearby." She paused. "I have to believe he's dead Henry."

"Why would you want to believe that? I thought you loved him."

"I have never loved anyone more then I love Killian Jones, and I never will. But I have to believe he is gone, because if I don't believe that, I won't be able to ever sleep at night."

" You already don't sleep at night, why on earth do you want to believe your true love is dead?"

"The truth is Henry, I'm much more afraid of Killian being alive, because if he's alive that means he couldn't forgive me for making him a dark one. It means he chose to leave me. Whether that was because of what he did or what I did it means he lost faith in what we had. If he left me because he is dead, I will eventually accept that, if not I can't take it."

"He wouldn't leave you." Henry Paused. "he may have been angry with you for making him a dark one, but once that curse was lifted, once the two of you figured out how to neutralize the dagger, everyone could see that he still loved you, and while it was hard for him, he was going to forgive you. He was very afraid that you wouldn't forgive him. He hurt you and he knew what he was doing. The darkness didn't agree with him. But you were working toward a future, That's what true love is all about."

"What if he couldn't forgive me Henry, what if he staged everything to look like he had been taken by something to get away from me. It's been 7 months. If he left on his own he has probably convinced himself that he is protecting me."

"Probably." Henry agreed.

"That would be just like him." Emma smiled at the memory.

"When we freed Nimue from the darkness, she said you would face a great trial, and that true love would ultimately win in the end." Henry paused. "I believe she meant you and Killian."

"Nimue, also said the future was fluid and that she saw multiple futures, maybe she was wrong."

"Arthur is still on the loose, Maybe he has something to do with this. He hated the two of you for locking away Excalibur like you did. I can't answer, all I can say is that I don't believe Killian is dead. It doesn't feel right. I get feelings sometimes, I think it has to do with being the Author. I have a feeling your love story is only beginning."

"You are always the optimist Kid." She smiled

"And you are always a pessimist."

"Can you blame me?"

"Not really. You need anything before I go back to bed?" He smiled, then yawned big. His eyes looked very very tired.

"He asked me to marry him the night before he disappeared." Emma blurted. Henry stared at her surprised. "I really thought that meant we were moving forward, that all could be forgiven. I wanted nothing more then to Marry him and be happy. I wanted the life we were going to have together. I still want that life more than anything. But everything is so messed up."

"Why didn't you tell anyone about that?"

"Because I didn't think it mattered. I said yes, I thought everything was great and then he was gone. He didn't even know..."

"If he had would it have a made a difference?" Henry asked.

"I'm not sure, I just wish I had told him." She paused. "I wanted to, but I wasn't sure and I didn't want to tell him until I was sure. I didn't want to hurt him all over again."

At that Emma stood pulling her nightshirt down as she made her way across the cold floor. Henry starred as she walked a smile on his face.

"You're not even going to try going back to sleep are you?" Henry asked.

"Not tired, I will just have more nightmares." She admitted. "Want to join me for some warm milk?"

"No, unlike you I have to get up in the morning." He paused. "Try to get more sleep."

"I may." Emma said chuckling a little at the chastising way Henry spoke to her. Once he was gone she walked to the dresser picking up a photo she had of her and Killian they were standing in front of the police station, hand in hand. She remembered the night it had been taken. It was just a sweet candid shot. She couldn't even remember who had taken the picture. They had looked so happy, before all the crap had gone wrong. She walked the rest of the way across the room now, the framed photo still in her hand. She stared at her form in the mirror. She slid her free hand down to her Belly. Sometimes she was sure the bump was growing larger every hour.

"It's okay little one." She said whispering to the tiny being that grew there. It had been the only thing keeping her going. Yet she was so terrified. She had never wanted to do this on her own. She had always imagined that next time she had a child, Killian would be by her side.

"I love you." She said not sure if she was talking to photograph or the child growing inside her. She paused to look at the photo again brushing Killian's cheek. "If you are out there , I really need you to come back, I can't do this on my own Hook, I need you." She paused waiting for a second as if expecting an answer. "I know we said a lot of things, and did a lot of things when we were dark that we didn't mean to do. But I still wanted you, you are it for me. If you don't come back, I can accept that because this little girl inside of me, she's a part of you, but I really wish she could know you." Tears were streaming down her cheeks now. She wiped herself off looked at the photo one last time before setting it back on the dresser.

"Come on kid, lets go get some milk." She said rubbing he belly softly as she padded down the stairs.