Steve walked away from the precinct after thanking Detective Williams for his help in catching the guy who had tried to kill his father. The farther he got from the front doors, the more he felt like he was leaving something behind. He stopped, turned around, and looked back at the building as if he could see what it was he was forgetting. All he saw was a stream of uniforms and civilians, lawyers and detectives, all coming and going from the building. But then Steve saw him – loud shirt and blond hair standing out in the sea of people flowing across the steps as he walked over to the silver Camaro.

Steve watched the blond Jersey native until the other man drove away. He continued looking at the now empty parking space, a smile twitching at the corner of his mouth. His trance was only broken when a new car pulled into the spot.

505050

Cold

That's all he felt at first.

Then: cold and wet and his head was fucking killing him.

"Wake up, Commander."

Steve grunted and jerked his head, but didn't open his eyes. Opening his eyes meant that he was going to lose those vestiges of the dream. It meant the last tendrils of warmth he felt watching the blond drive away would leave. Besides, his eyes were about the only things he could control at the moment.

But then that choice was taken from him as well. Wo Fat's fist connected with his jaw. His head twisted to the side and his eyes flew open. He glared up at his captor.

"That's better," the man said, looking him over and looking smug. "Now... where were we?"

505050

One instant, Steve was asleep. In the next, he was wide awake, images from the nightmare he'd been experiencing already erased from his memory and leaving him frightened and disoriented. Then, he heard it again – the sound that had pulled him from sleep – someone banging at the door downstairs. His arm shot over to the bedside table where his gun was stored before his brain caught up enough to realize: no one he would need a gun for would be knocking first. Instead, he reached farther and grabbed a shirt, catching the time as he did.

Two in the morning. He groaned as he hurried down the dark staircase. It had barely been two hours since he'd dragged himself up the stairs and into his bed. It had taken two weeks of eighteen hour – or more – days to take out a child killer who had murdered three more times after Five-0 caught the case. All four of the Team had needed to visit with their EMS friends at least once during the case.

Answering the door at 02:00 was not on his list of things he wanted to do tonight. Maybe he should have brought the gun anyway, so he could shoot this jack ass in the face.

He yanked the door open. "What the hell do you... Danny?"

Even in the dim moonlight, Steve could see that his friend looked like shit – even worse than he had a few hours ago. Steve was certain that, despite the rumpled clothes, he hadn't even seen his bed, let alone got any sleep. Danny let out a long breath, ran his hand through his already messy hair and met Steve's eyes.

"Hey. Sorry. I know you were probably sleeping but I just... can I come in?"

"Yeah, buddy, of course." He stepped aside to let Danny in and closed the door behind him after flipping on a light. "Beer?" He asked as Danny walked over to the sofa and sunk down onto it.

"Fuck, yes."

When Steve returned, Danny was leaning forward, elbows on his thighs, head in his hands. Only when Steve sat down next to him did he lean against the back and hold his hand out for one of the cold bottles.

Steve just settled next to him, sipping his own beer and waiting. That wait didn't last long before Danny's voice broke through the silence, just as he was about to fall back asleep. It really had been a rough couple of weeks.

"Rachel left me."

Steve was wide awake now, turning his body to look at his friend.

"What?"

Danny stared into his bottle instead of looking at Steve. He nodded once.

"I went straight home after dropping you off. I figured everyone would be asleep already, but the living room light was on. Rachel was waiting up for me. She had a couple of suitcases packed and Charlie dressed in his carrier. She sent the kids to friends for the night." Steve had never known his friend to speak so quiet, or be so still as he did. "I guess I knew what that meant as soon as I saw it, you know? I mean, we hadn't talked about splitting up, but even still, it wasn't really a surprise. She's already got a lawyer working on the divorce papers. I've always known that she wasn't happy being cop's wife. She always worried about me and when I made detective it was worse with all the long hours on top of that, and of course Five-0's ten times worse. But she had never asked me to give it up or anything."

"Did she ask you to leave tonight?" Steve didn't want Danny to leave the Team, to leave him, but he wanted his friend to be happy. If leaving would save their marriage, he would help him find something Rachel could live with and would still make Danny happy.

"No. No, she did not." He finally turned to face Steve. "Even if she had, I wouldn't have left the Team. Besides, she's found some other guy. Stan Something. Some rich hotel guy."

"Shit, Danny. What can I do?" Steve asked, rubbing his hands across his face. His friend just smiled and shook his head.

"Nothing to do, babe. You can't fix this with gunpowder and napalm. Besides. There's nothing to fix. Not between Rachel and I."

It was Steve's turn to let out a long breath. "What about the kids?" That was what made Danny get up and start pacing, taking a long drink from his beer as he did.

"That... that is what I am freaking out about." He stopped and met Steve's eyes. "I can't lose my kids, Steve."

Steve put his bottle on the floor and stood in front of Danny, hands on his friend's arms, running them lightly up and down Danny's shirt. He ducked down a bit to make sure his friend met his eyes.

"Hey, hey. You're not gonna lose the kids, okay? I won't let that happen. You know I will always have your back, right? In everything."

The corner of Danny's mouth twitched in an attempt at a smile. "Yeah, babe. Okay."

Steve nodded once when he felt some of the tension leave his friend's body.

"I just don't get it. I thought you guys were happy. I didn't know you were having issues." He tried to keep the hurt out of his voice. He really had no right to it. Danny was not required to tell him everything.

"We weren't fighting or anything but, like I said, this wasn't really a surprise. I..." he looked away and Steve could see the effort it took for Danny to look back at him, right into his eyes, a moment later. "I haven't been in love with Rachel for a while now."

Silence settled around them, lingering, and Steve thought maybe he saw a glimmer of something in Danny's eyes that he recognized in his own when he looked in the mirror.

"Danno—"

"I'll fight her on the kids. I'm not going to fight the divorce because maybe I'm relieved that she made this decision for me. Because I couldn't do it myself. I couldn't risk losing my kids. You understand, right?"

Steve's heart was racing so fast he thought it might give up completely. It sounded like Danny was saying the exact thing he had waited to hear for so long – it felt like his entire life.

"Danno?"

"But I wanted to, Steven. You get me? I wanted to. Because I wasn't in love with her anymore." He took a deep breath. "I'm in love with you."

505050

This time, he woke to pain. His scream tore through him before he could stop it. Wo Fat held the cattle prod to his stomach longer than he needed to.

"Where is my father?" He yelled, starting to lose his temper and shoving the prod harder against Steve's stomach, taking away what little was left of the SEAL's breath. Steve couldn't remember who this guy's father was.

"Fuck you!" He tried to yell when the prod was finally pulled back; it came out more like a loud whisper.

505050

Though he rarely wore them himself, Steve was not against a nice Hawaiian print. Even so, he could honestly say that he'd never considered it hot before. But then, that was before he saw them on Detective Danny Williams.

Of course, short, loud-mouthed blonds were never his thing either. But Danny was different. Without even trying, he had wedged himself into Steve's life and his heart and the once tough Navy SEAL turned into a gooey marshmallow (Danny's words, not his) whenever the cop even so much as looked at him.

Fuck, Steve had it bad.

But then Danny did, too, so it was okay.

"Steve!"

"Huh? What?" His eyes climbed up to see a perfect smirk and then laughing blue eyes. He looked next at Chin and then Kono on either side of the blond, holding back their laughter.

"Danny, maybe you need to take boss-man home before the raid. You know, to relax before things get crazy."

Danny barked out a laugh. Steve glared at Kono, ignored his lover, turned to Chin.

"Plan sounds good, Chin, but I think Kono should set up on the next roof."

"Aw, c'mon Steve. I didn't mean it."

He smiled at her. "Yes you did, but it's not that. These guys can not get away. We'll have SWAT as our back up, but you're the best sniper in the state. I want someone I can trust up there."

She beamed at him and nodded.

"Good save," Danny said as he walked over to Steve's side of the tech table. He flicked his ear. " Now c'mon, you goof. Let's take the nice lady's advice."

505050

Steve had lost track of reality. He didn't know which life was real and which was fiction.

All he knew was that one version was dark and cold and wet. His only choices were to fight for his life and keep secrets he didn't know the answers to anyway, or die. And Wo Fat did not really seem interested in killing him, so fight it was. This was a life where almost everyone he cared about left or betrayed him and the one person that did not was off limits. It was a life he lived through like a thirty-something year storm with the occasional bright ray of sunshine peeking through the clouds. And those too few, too brief, breaks had happened more in the last four years, when the storm had been at its worst, then the entire rest of his life.

But then, there was his other life. The one that was always warm and bright. Where he woke up knowing everyone he loved was still alive and well. Yes, his mother was absent, but she had died tragically when he was a teenager and it had only brought the rest of his family closer together. When was faced with actually having the choice of a football scholarship or the Navy, he'd chosen the Navy. Danny saved his father's life and they had dinner together, with his sister, every week. And now, four years later, he didn't have to hide who he was from anyone. Not from his father, not from Danny. Not from the Navy. He had the man he loved, who loved him, and was not afraid to show it. He had a little girl and a little boy who were his in every way that mattered.

Could it really be a surprise which one he wanted to be real?

He just wanted the nightmare to end and he wanted to fall asleep in Danny's arms so that this world would never come back.

Kill Wo Fat. That would make this end, right?

Steve looked passed the barrel of his gun, passed the barrel of the gun pointed at him, and into Wo Fat's eyes.

"You wouldn't shoot me, would you, brother?"

Wo Fat was only a fraction of a second slower in pulling the trigger, but it was enough. Or maybe he was just a shitty shot.

The bullet grazed McGarret's temple. And he was exhausted. And the rush of adrenaline left him. Darkness crept up on him and he didn't fight it. He couldn't remember who Wo Fat had been looking for, just knew he wasn't going to give the asshole any information. And now he didn't have to. The nightmare could be over now and he could go back to that wonderful life.

He had lost track of the dream and of reality; did not know which was which. All he knew was that this world was dark and full of pain and the other one was not. He let the darkness over take him, hoping it would take him back there and hoping he could stay there forever. With his dad.

With Danny.

505050

Steve nudged his way out of the porch doors, two Longboards in each hand, and walked over to the grill.

"Danny on his way?" His father asked, setting down the wire scrubber he was using to clean the grill and relieving Steve of the beers in one hand.

"Yeah, he's just picking the kids up from Rachel's. Should be here any minute."

He looked down to twist the cap off his own beer and heard a snort of laughter. He looked up again to see Mary smirking at him as she took one of the bottles from her father. Steve eyed her suspiciously, but his smile didn't budge.

"What?"

'"What?' I can practically see the huge epic cartoon hearts floating around your head." She swirled her bottle around in the air in the general direction of his head. His scowl deepened, but somehow his grin widened.

"Shut up." He took another sip of his beer.

"Now, Steven," his father said, eyes twinkling with mirth. "Don't speak to your sister like that."

Steve rolled his eyes. He and Danny had been together for a year and a half and his dad and sister still teased him. He'd always thought that kind of thing would piss him off, but it just made him feel even more loved. Before he could snark back, he heard the rumble of the Camaro's engine and the crunching of its tires on the gravel drive. His eyes flicked in that direction, but didn't follow the noise.

"Oh, go on, you big doofus," Mary told him, whacking him on the arm and taking the bottles from his hands.

"Hey!" He rubbed his arm as if she had actually hurt him. Or maybe because she'd taken his beer.

"Go on, son. I'll get the steaks started." Steve nodded, winked at Mary, and turned back to the house.

He got to the front door just as Grace opened it. She was barely out of the way before Charlie barrelled into the house, as fast as he could on his wobbly little toddler legs. Steve caught him, just before he tripped over his own two feet, and swept the laughing boy up into his arms.

"Hey buddy," but he was tickling Charlie, so the toddler was laughing too hard to answer.

"Hi, Steve."

"Hey, Gracie." He held out an arm and she immediately hugged his side. He kissed her hair and then finally looked up at Danny who had closed the door and was looking at his family with a goofy look that Steve assumed matched the one Mary had been teasing him about.

"Hey."

"Hey, babe," Danny said, dropping the keys on the table by the door and joining them. "Sorry about that. I'm pretty sure Rachel and Stan fed them each a pound of sugar before I got there."

"I love it."

"Goof." He ruffled both his children's hair and Steve set Charlie back on his feet, his eyes not leaving Danny's. "Why don't you kids go outside and terrorize Aunt Mary and Gramps?" That just riled them up again and they sped outside. Once they were alone, Steve pulled Danny against his body and greeted him properly.