I was pretty sure I'd overworked myself that day. I was sore in pretty much every muscle I owned. But it wasn't something new. I was used to discomfort.

I set my car into cruise control as I drove towards the bar. I sighed unhappily, I used to go into The Green Star most nights after the NXT shows at Full Sail University. It was my ritual. Work out for a few hours then go to the bar. I loved it, I'd get drunk, chase a few skirts and just generally have a good time.

Until she happened.

I'd trained Rebecca Quinn so I wasn't completely shocked when she walked through the doors of NXT before me. She was an exceptional talent. She made her debut June 2014 and I made mine in November 2014. We tried to meet in private so we could talk like old times but there was always something in the way, Mercedes would always need help with her hair or Ashley would always want her advice on some article of clothing, I wasn't completely innocent, Rami and Kenta were always on my case. Ironically their favourite pastime seemed to be attempting to set me up with someone. How little they knew.

So for that first month, we made do with fleeting glances in the canteen and subtle smiles in the gym - although I did catch her checking me out once or twice.

It was Christmas day 2014 when we finally managed to meet in private.

Flashback

"Finally! I was beginning to think you'd stood me up" She cried, wrapping her arms around me happily. I smirked.

"I think you'll find it's you who has the reputation of standing me up" I replied, she pouted.

"That's not fair Fergal, you know that was important. Ashley was going on a date with Rami-" She started

"And she just had to have your opinion on the dress didn't she?" I asked, mocking her in a girly tone. She gave me a disapproving glare.

"You just don't understand girls" She quipped, I smirked again and pulled her close to me by her waist.

"I don't know, I seemed to understand you pretty well when you were training." I whispered in her ear. Her face grew hot as she blushed.

"I understood you pretty well too" She whispered back, as her hand traced the outline of the bulge in my trousers. I groaned hotly in her ear, I nipped the lobe.

"We really shouldn't be doing this here" I said between gasps as she started to suck on my neck. "If someone saw.." I trailed off. This seemed only to motivate her to further her efforts, she trailed her tongue over my sweet spot causing me to hiss at the contact. She grinned, grabbing my hand and pulling me towards the smoking area.

We crashed through the door and immediately she was in my arms, her legs around my waist. Her tongue plundered my mouth, our teeth clicked and I heard her let out a not so subtle moan. It had been way too long since I'd held her in my arms. I reached my hand up to grip her chin and took control of the kiss, backing her up until her back touched the wall of the smoking area and she was completely sandwiched between me and the wall. She groaned again and wiggled impatiently in my arms.

"Jesus.. Fergal...ohh" she moaned, I smirked against her mouth, as I slowed the kiss down. The need for air was becoming more and more apparent and although I would have happily died with her in my arms. I knew that if that happened I would never get to do all the dastardly things I was thinking of doing to her and that thought within itself was enough to make me disconnect our mouths.

I tried not to laugh at the disgruntled look on Becky's face, her cheeks were painted a rosy red and her lips were a swollen and dark, her eyes seemed to darken with lust and her hair was unruly from where my hands had tugged it.

She looked like an angel.

Present time.

I parked the car and walked towards the bar, I refused to acknowledge the memories that assaulted my very conscious. I couldn't, this was my place and I'll be damned if anyone in here saw me cry because of her.

I pushed open the door and walked towards where the counter of the bar was. I saw Joe almost instantly. He was a balding, overweight bartender who'd worked in the pub all his life. His dad owned it, and in a few years his kids would own it. I'd become fond of Joe and the stories he could tell of his exploits in the little bar.

"Furgal? Haven't seen you around recently?" Joe said good naturedly, raising an eyebrow in my general direction. He was attempting to make what looked like a sex on the beach and failing drastically.

"Been putting in a good few hours at work" I mumbled by way of explanation. Joe nodded in understanding, he gave the customer the badly made sex on the beach and got started on my usual.

Carling.

He handed me the frothy beer in record timing, he gave me a gentle smile.

"So, word on the street is you're next in line for the NXT title?" He asked, trying to disperse the tension. I gave him a small smile.
"Yeah" I answered playing with a discarded straw on the bar. "I've got a feud with Kev coming up"

"Big Kev Steen?" Joe asked, his eyebrows raising up to his receding hairline.

"That would be the one, lovely guy" I said, blowing out a sigh and downing half my pint in one.

"I was a massive of his on the indies, I love the guy. He comes in here every now and then. Always brings me a signed piece of merchandise. The man really misses his family though, he gets real excited when he's about to go home " Joe replied, I smiled at the aging bartender

"At least someone is happy" I said sadly, Joe patted my arm reassuringly and reached for my empty glass.

Flashback

"Becky, where are you taking me?" I groaned, I was tired and sore from my match with Victor from The Ascension. She just smirked back at me.

"It's a surprise." She answered tugging me towards the parking lot, where her car was parked. She opened the backdoor of the car and passed me a giftwrapped box. No bigger than a shoebox. I raised an eyebrow at her quirky behaviour.

"It's a present Fergal" She said rolling her eyes "Open it". I did as I was told, carefully taking off the wrapping paper as not to make a mess, and opened the shoebox. I stared at the contents for a few seconds before looking back up at her shocked,

"I wasn't expecting that" I said honestly, over the last few weeks Rebecca and I had been at it like bunnies and no I wasn't exaggerating. I couldn't get enough of her. She was one of the sexiest woman I'd ever met. But she'd decided that she wanted to spice it up a little instead, and I being an idiot had suggested being spontaneous and now I was paying for it..

I swallowed the lump in my throat as I stared at the spicy garment she'd put in the box, red was my favourite colour and it showed so much as I felt my cock throb in my pants.

"Wh-a?"I tried to say but at that moment she lifted her skirt to show me what was underneath. Nothing. I was holding the panties she'd been wearing, and now she'd been walking around Full Sail University in a short skirt and no underwear?

My cock throbbed again at the thought. I was fully hard now and my throat was dry,

"Have you been comando all day?" I asked, licking my lips as I thumbed the lacy fabric of her panties between my thumbs.

"Not all day, just until your match when I got so hot that I couldn't help slipping them off to… help myself out" She teased, I licked my lips again at her teasing and leaned closer to press her against her car.

"In the Divas locker room?" I asked my breath fanning over her face as I grinded my rock hard erection into her stomach, she shook her head, biting her lip.

"In yours" She replied, I groaned.

God, I loved this woman.

Present time.

"Have you seen Becky around?" I asked, trying to sound casual. Joe gave me a pointed look, he knew me to well to know I was anything but casual.

"She pops in every now and then, seems real happy with that new guy" He replied quietly, probably trying to sound gentle. "Always laughing and joking, with that big old smile on her face"

"Colby Lopez" I said with a disgruntled sigh "He's on the main roster". Joe snapped his fingers in recognition.

"That's the one." He said smiling. "Seems like a lovely guy" I gave him a weak smile.

"I've heard nothing but great things" I said honestly and it was true. I'd heard nothing but great things about Colby, from what I could tell he was a stand up guy.

Perfect for her, unlike me.

"Fergal!" Came the happy voice of one of the NXT guys, I turned and smiled at him, crooking my hands in a waving motion.

"Tom" I replied, trying to sound happy, Thomas Pestock was one of my great friends. He was currently sauntering over to me with another colleague Alexis. I wasn't stupid, I knew all about Alexis, the boys in the NXT locker room basically handed her around like a spliff. At this point she probably had more STI's than qualifications.

"Long time no see Bud" Tom said pulling me into a man hug. I slapped his back good naturedly.

"Hey Fergal" Alexis said in what she thought was a deep sexy voice, compared to Becky she just sounded cheap.

"Hi" I replied shortly, I didn't need her sort hanging around. I'd made enough mistakes with ring rats in my early years,

"So, you catch Raw this past week?" He asked, I rolled my eyes

"You know me, I'd rather be playing with my lego" I replied, Alexi laughed far too loudly.

"Ashley, Becky and Saraya basically imploded." Tom responded, "Cus Ashley's got the title now, Saraya said Becky was the least relevant diva there" Tom said, "it was fucking fantastic."

"Becky's more relevant than her wannabe gothic ass" I bit out. Tom shuckled

"Little defensive there Mate" He replied,

"Yeah Fergal, something going on between you and little Miss Irrelevant?" Alexis asked smugly, I narrowed my eyes,

"Don't be jealous Alexis, because Becky made it to the top and you're still sleeping your way to the bottom" I snapped, downing my beer and grabbing my coat.

"I'll see you around Tom, but next time leave your skank at home" I said icily, pushing past them both and heading back towards my car.

Flashback

"Come on Becky" I said as her phone went to voicemail again, I wasn't worried. She was updating her instagram account every five seconds to pictures of her with main roster talent so I knew she was alive. She just wasn't taking my calls and that really pissed me off.

"Damn it" I said slamming my phone down on the table as soon as I heard the voicemail noise. As I did I caught sight of the picture of Becky and I from the last NXT show. I'd set it as my screensaver, even though we weren't officially together, I couldn't help myself. She looked so beautiful, so radiant. She was everything good about my life and I could feel her slowly slipping out of my grasp.

I picked up my phone and with shaking hands opened up my gallery, I scrolled until I found all the pictures Becky had sent me, some racy, some just random snaps that I couldn't help but save. I found myself smiling at those pictures. It wasn't until I put my phone down that I realised how alone I felt without Becky there, I was so used to having the redhead around that the hotel seemed quiet without her.

I tried her number again,

Voicemail.

Present Time

I didn't regret saying that to Alexis, but I did regret doing it in public at the bar.I always got emotional when I was drunk and as of late she was the only person I could think of. It was the reason I'd had to delete her number from my phone. She was happy with Colby and I refused to be the one that got in the way of her happiness. She deserved better, she deserved everything he could give her, everything I wasn't capable of giving her. But I remembered the day she told me she was leaving, god I remembered how the tears ran down my face that day after she walked out. I remembered how I thought about everything that we'd done together in NXT, I chastised myself for not wanting what was best for her but the sad fact was that I knew I was losing the best part of me and I was helpless to stop it.

Flashback

"Hey Fergal" Came her sweet voice in my ear, I turned around as she walked into my locker room.

"So you do remember who I am?" I asked icily, she rolled her eyes.

"I'm sorry I couldn't answer the phone, I was with Paul Levesque" she said excitedly, I raised an eyebrow in question. "They want me to go up to the main roster, I make my debut next week on Raw" she said, her voice getting more and more high pitched. I gave her a false smile.

"That's great, I just can't believe you're leaving" I said sadly,

"You'll be up there soon, You'll love it. I met this really great guy" She gushed. There was a sharp pain in my stomach at her words.

"Guy?" I asked, she nodded.

"His names Colby and he's a future world champion. Isn't that amazing?" She asked, then she started telling me about how they'd met. But the only thing that crossed my mind was that she was getting into a relationship with someone else.

What about us?

"Becky, hold up" I said holding up my hand,

"Yeah?" She asked, twirling a piece of her hair between her fingers. I sighed.

"What about us?" I asked, she gave me a confused look.

"What about us?, We'll still be friends even though I'm on the main roster" She answered, the pain in my stomach intensified at her words and I found myself wishing I'd never asked. "I've got to go, Colby's picking me up" She said, basically skipping out of the locker room taking the pieces of my broken heart with her.

Present Time

I got back to my hotel room kind of late, I'd stopped to buy more alcohol on the way home. For a second I was happy, almost skipping my way towards my hotel room where I was going to probably drink the full six cans of beer and fall into what I hoped would be a dreamless sleep. It was the only way I could forget about her long enough to fall asleep, but even then. I dreamed about her.

I was lying on the bed in my hotel room, reaching for the third can of beer when there was a knock at the door. I glanced at the clock through half lidded eyes,

02.45Am.

Who would be knocking at this hour? I asked myself as I tried to push myself up onto my elbows. I fell a few times but I finally managed to get over to the door and reached out to unlock it. I coughed as I pulled it open to reveal who knocked.

I thought for a second I was dreaming, but my mind could never do justice to her beauty. My blurry vision managed to focus on her flaming orange hair and I found myself smiling uncontrollably. She crinkled her eyebrows in the cute way that she used to when she was confused. Then she pushed past me in to my hotel room closing the door behind her.

"What the hell Rebecca?" I yelled at her, if she was startled by my yelling then she didn't show it. She just looked angry.

"I should be asking you the same thing, what the hell Fergal? I've sent you over thirty messages in the last two days. And you couldn't reply to one?" She cried back, I snorted angrily.

"What was I supposed to say? I'm so happy for you? Congrats on the new boyfriend?" I asked icily. She seemed not to notice.

"Yes, we're friends. That's what friends do, they say they're happy for each other" She replied angrily. I sighed.

"We were never friends Rebecca." I replied, she looked hurt.

"What? How can we not be friends? You trained me, I looked up to you. I-" She ranted but I cut her off.

"We were never friends because we were always so much more than that." I admitted, her breath seemed to catch in her throat.

"Fergal.. I" She started but I interrupted.

"You're the reason I'm dreading being called up into the main roster" I replied, she gave me a heated look so I continued."Don't look at me like that Becky, you think I want to go up there and watch you and him? Watch Rollins with his hands all over you? Over what belongs to me? Damn it Becky, It hurts okay? It hurts that you got to move on and I'm stuck here, still in love with you." I snapped. Becky's eyes widened dramatically but she seemed to regain her cool.

"I didn't… I didn't" She stuttered,

"You didn't know, figures" I said shortly. Becky reached out and cupped my cheek.

"You should have told me sooner" She said, her hands tracing my face. I raised an eyebrow at her actions.

"Becks?" I asked uncertain,

"For once in your life Fergal, shut up and kiss me" she answered roughly tugging me towards her. Our bodies molding together as our tongues danced. I groaned, there was the taste I was missing. I pulled away,

"Becky, you're with Colby" I said, she looked away ashamed.

"I know, but right now I'm with you and I want to make the most of it" She said capturing my lips again and I was powerless to stop her from taking everything that she wanted. There was a fire scorching through me from the moment her lips touched mine and I knew I was lost.

Lost to the world, to my morals. I was lost to everything except her. She was my everything and I was helpless beneath her gaze. I could never deny her anything, and she knew it.

I turned over the next morning to find the bed empty beside me, and all her clothes gone. It was as if it never happened, like it was just a lie.

I should have realised before I let it go that far but it still stung my heart that she chose him. I closed my eyes again and willed the thoughts away, I tried to pretend all of this was just some twisted dream. I tried to pretend that I hadn't held her close until I fell asleep, that I hadn't been lulled to sleep by her signature smell.

But it was useless, I'd let my guard down for a night and this was where it had gotten me. I was still alone with nothing but my memories,

Memories of the way I used to wake up to the most beautiful girl in the world, and now she'd finally found a guy worthy of her.

I wished that I could wake up with Amnesia.

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