Chapter 2

Virgil looked up tiredly as the doctor finally stepped out on to the corridor, "You can go in and see him now."

John was straight up, walking the few steps into the room. Virgil hesitated and looked to the doctor, "How is he?"

"Stable." The doctor nodded, "Your direct transfusion was extremely dangerous, but probably saved his life."

Virgil smiled with a slight nod, "I was aware of the risks, and this was one I was willing to take."

The doctor smiled back to him, "I understand that, he should be fine in a few hours, he'll need to rest for a while though, his leg and his ribs need chance to heal properly."

"I'll make sure he doesn't leave his bed at home" Virgil grimaced, knowing it would be far easier said than done.

"He's an idiot," John stated as Virgil walked into the room, "Why's he such an idiot all of a sudden?"

"Because he doesn't know what else to do," Virgil murmured as he sat on the end of the bed, "I think it's his way of coping."

John frowned at his brother, not understanding fully what he meant. Scott had always coped, but never before had he shown such idiocy. He'd always been the cool headed leader, calm and sensible, even when the others had been struggling to cope. Why had that changed?

"He kept talking about Dad," Virgil explained, "Something about making it all up to him, or trying to do what he did."

"Scott's not Dad though," John pointed out, "Can't he just see that?"

"Apparently not." Virgil sighed, "He's too bothered about what he thinks is best for us… he forgets about what he needs."

"So what do we do?" John raised an eyebrow, "You know how impossible he is to pin down."

Virgil smiled as he looked to his older brother, "Why do we need to pin him, when he's already down?"

John looked up, his arm stretching out for the scrunched up napkin, as Scott groaned. He flung the paper across the room, smiling when it landed squarely on Virgil's nose. As the younger brother stirred, Scott groaned again, "I ache."

John didn't miss a beat as he looked to Scott, "Well you should be bloody glad that you're alive to ache."

Scott's face screwed up as his eyes squinted at his first brother, "Wha' are you doin' here?"

"Making sure you don't try anything else stupid before you're better," John shook his head, "I don't even know what you were thinking! That ice field could have crushed you if it had been any more unstable."

"John." A soft, but firm, voice warned, "Give him chance."

John turned his hard glare on Virgil as Scott looked to his other side, trying his best to silently thank his middle brother.

"You're still an idiot." Virgil uttered at him, "John's exactly right."

Scott nodded, "I know."

"Get some more sleep," Virgil sighed as he got up, "We'll talk to you in the morning."

Scott didn't protest as he let his eyes slip closed again, welcoming the darkness over his younger brothers' glares.

John stood and followed Virgil out of the room, "I thought-"

"Trust me John," Virgil glanced back into the room, "I want to put him through the ringer as much as you do, but doing it whilst he's still like this isn't going to help anyone."

John sighed and nodded, "I just want the old Scott back."

Virgil smiled sadly, "Yeah, me too."

"What is this? An intervention?" Scott smiled as he pushed himself up in bed, his ribs still aching as his leg stiff and sore. His tease wasn't met by the response had had expected from his two oldest younger brothers.

"Scott, you're not you any more," Virgil sat forward in his seat, having nominated himself the speaker, "We can't just let you carry on like this. Next time you might not be so lucky."

"I'm just-" Scott started, only to pause and look down, "I just wanted to do what Dad would have done."

"What? Pushing yourself to the limit? Crushing yourself under the pressure you've made for yourself?" John spat out, "Tell me exactly, how Dad always did that? I don't seem to recall him always rus-"

"John." Virgil warned, attracting both older brothers' attention. All of them knew that the younger brother had a way with words, and no doubt he'd had made his mind up about what needed to be said a long time ago.

Virgil turned to Scott and shook his head, "What we're saying is, we don't expect you to be Dad, Scott. We don't want you to be dad, we want you to be you, Scott Tracy that Gordon and Alan always looked up to, that was safe and considerate of what he did." He shrugged and looked down to where his feet were scuffing the floor, "The Scott that was always the hero but never put himself in danger."

Guilt stabbed Scott right in the heart, he'd already known that he'd screwed up, but Virgil's words just made it so much more clearer. He was right when he said that he'd let everyone down, just not in the way he had thought. Scott had spent so much time trying to be like Dad, trying to become his hero, he'd forgotten what was really important.

He knew his brothers were waiting for him to say something, probably to admit that he had been wrong, but he didn't know what to say, what to admit to. Truth be known, he hadn't fully realised until that moment what he had been doing.

"I just had to do it all, everything Dad did..." He murmured, not quite sure where he was going with his point. To his side, John sighed, "If it's the paperwork, we can help. I can always do more even when I'm not home."

Scott shook his head, "No, it's not that." He shrugged, "Sure, somedays it stacks up, but I can manage that. If I'm honest, it helps."

Virgil looked up again, his suspicions finally confirmed, "You're still blaming yourself for it, aren't you? And this is you trying to cope with it all," He sighed and sat forward, "Scott, you did all you could to find him, we all did. It's nobody's fault that we couldn't find him."

John nodded in agreement, quick to add, "And you have to accept that we can't always save everyone. Dad himself always said that, you know that."

"Maybe." Scott whispered, looking down himself, feeling more and more like the youngest by the second. He still couldn't see how he'd got it all so wrong. He'd just wanted a distraction, and to get better, to make himself stronger and stop the same thing from happening again. That was better than the alternative, better than letting himself go crazy thinking about the what if's.

"The pushing needs to stop as well Scott," John pointed out, "Gordon and Alan will do anything you say blindly, who knows what could have happened if they were with you yesterday."

Scott nodded wordlessly, he wasn't even sure when he'd started pushing his brothers so hard. When had his brotherly encouragement become an overwhelming force? The last thing he had intended was to become an overbearing monster.

"I just wanted you to be the best you could," He murmured, bowing his head and resting his hands over the back of his neck, "I never meant-"

He looked up as he felt a big hand on his shoulder, and heard the door click shut. Out of the corner of his eye he could see John was gone, he looked to Virgil in worry. Had he upset him even more?"

Sibling telepathy working at its best, Virgil shook his head, "You know what he's always like with emotions," Virgil moved to sit next to Scott, squishing on to the small space of the bed, "It's hard for us Scott, seeing you beating yourself up like this and knowing how close you are to losing it." The two brothers rested their heads together, one letting out a sigh as the other sniffed, "I know, that's why I don't stop. If I stop, I start thinking about it and I'll send myself crazy."

Virgil smirked, "I thought you'd gone crazy a long time ago."

Scott laughed briefly as he swiped at his eyes, Virgil rubbed his big brother's back before he continued, "Seriously though, you can't keep blaming yourself. It happened, and we did all we could."

Scott nodded, "Yeah. I just wish there was something, a certainty…"

"Me too," Virgil agreed, "We all do."

"I guess..." Scott hesitated, "I guess that if he's out there, then, he doesn't want to be found. If he could, he would have called us by now."

"Yeah," Virgil murmured, "He would."

They sat in silence for a long moment, both just enjoying the other's comfort. Scott couldn't quite remember when he had last just sat with his family, not just for a meal, or for a mission brief, just because he could. He knew he'd missed it though, being able to appreciate their presence and their company without needing to talk.

He did need to talk though, not that he wanted to interrupt the silence, but he knew he had to.

"I'm sorry for pushing you, and the others. I really am."

Virgil pulled back a little, looking up to Scott with a smile of disbelief, "How do you not see it?"

"What?" Scott frowned, looking up as the door opened as John stepped in, "What don't I see?"

John smiled as he folded his arms and looked from Virgil to Scott, "We don't need you to push us, we all push ourselves enough."

Scott frowned and opened his mouth to argue, only to be cut off by Virgil, "You obviously don't realise it, but you're not just our big brother Scott," He smiled and squeezed Scott's shoulders, "You're our hero. We're always going to try to be as good as you, without you pushing."

Scott looked down, partly in embarrassment, mostly in shame, "I didn't-"

"Realise, we know." John smiled, moving to sit on his other side, "We should have stopped you ages ago."

"Things have just been too busy though," Virgil pointed out, "I'm just sorry it got this far-"

"I'm sorry I let it get this far," Scott interrupted, "I should have realised myself sooner."

"Next time," John fixed Scott with a hard glare, "Talk to us."

"There won't be a next time," Scott sighed, "I promise."

"Good." Virgil smiled, "See? That wasn't so hard, was it?"

"Shut up." Scott uttered, fighting a yawn.

John smiled as he climbed off of the bed, "Get some more sleep, you'll need all the energy you can get if you're going to put up with the Terrible Two's questions."

Scott groaned as he pulled the blankets over him, "I'd rather stay here!"