I didn't know what to expect, but this was not an awful site and was received better than the one I had left behind.

atop a crumbling cliff, a halo of sand surrounded the bottom, where the sea rushed in with a welcoming colour of blue. A gull cawed to interrupt the tide, suspended on a breeze while an early morning sun began to bloom.

when I turned my head to the left the scene was utterly different. An abruption of green and wild foliage, although the ground was as uneven as the sea before it. There didn't appear to be any trees in this vast expansion of land and nothing of life, beyond the natural order of nature. The rolling hills dipped and grew so high, you couldn't tell in some places what lay beyond them.

This was a beautiful and wild country, fit for a painting and people wouldn't believe it existed. It was remnants of what used to be. Untouched and unspoilt. It was peaceful here and I felt like I had intruded on it.

But Where would I be?

As I stood wondering, naming countries off the top of my head that I could remember from my travels and the human equivalent to their names, a coughing disturbed me as I jumped around to meet its culprit.

"well, well… I hope you're not waiting on a curtsey now, are you?"

He spoke with a gruff and raspy tone, flesh as rough as the rock. His teeth were too large for his mouth, so it was constantly agape to show off which were rotten and abnormally crooked. The last few traces of auburn hair remained as sideburns, the same shade as his beady eyes, but whether they were naturally that colour or strained after his years of working in the smithy I don't know. Goblins weren't known for their beauty, only there was a randomness to his appearance as well, like some scuttling crabs and strings of trinkets he wore around his neck and of course, the lack of a lower body.

The last time I had seen this goblin, it had been in the throne room when he proposed to create the golden army; then to present his creation and finally, to unleash it.

What happened afterwards, it would seem he was lucky to still be alive, if his reliance on a cart and crutches was anything to go by.

"you're excused."

This didn't seem to be the best terrain for someone in his state to go wandering around. It must take all the strength in his arms to keep from rolling back down the steep drops and forwards up them.

I cocked my head to the side, wondering what would convince him that this would be better than one goblin colony or another. I knew there were still some around. Most I had helped relocate as an agent, if they began creating a community in a basement or sewer somewhere.

"go on, take a good long stare. Sooner you get your fill you won't care as much."

I didn't care really; Just curious, "how did it happen?"

He prodded at the mud to try and avoid my asking, as if I would get impatient and move onto something else. When he realised I wouldn't, he just shrugged.

"stupidity. One of those nasty buggers down there, mistook me as a human after our king ordered they leave none alive. My own fault of course; I had followed them as they charged towards the enemy to admire my work, but when the front lines dealt with their foe too quickly, those who flanked them, noticed me and well…"

"…to admire you work."

I stared at him coldly, the artist who painted a canvas in red.

A dark and bloody red, washing over the land as the waves did below us. It was actually at this height I had stared out at the scene.

At first the golden army looked almost beautiful with the morning light reflecting off their armour. Frozen and patiently waiting for the order that would breathe life into them. They were the perfect soldier compared to the lively spirit of the humans, who were chanting songs and pacing. It spoke volumes of how uncivilised they were, lacking any grace and dignity. Many a noble had laughed at them, shook their head in disproval or burned their gaze with a fire hot with hatred. None could wait for the battle to be over and this race dealt with once and for all, if the goblin's claims of an invincible army proved true. If not, then there had been plenty of our own elven troops present, with the Bloodguard clinging closely to our king.

with an unspoken signal from Balor, Nuada and I came to stand by his side, with father and son just a few inches ahead of me, as tradition demands, so I could not see their faces nor was I in line with their sight. I can remember how we made the conscious decision to come Impeccably dressed, wearing the royal colours white, gold and crimson to mark the occasion, as a united front. After all, this was to be a new beginning for our people after so much war and heartache. The dawning of a new age, where the Fae were victorious and the world ours.

It seemed like hours went by atop that mountain, while we all waited. The anticipation brewing over us like storm clouds, then like the thunder erupting, Balor's voice had been mighty as he spoke above the human's noise, drowning it all out.

'To all our fallen. Fathers, Mothers, sons, daughters, sisters, brothers... This day is not ours; it is theirs. Vengeance for the honourable dead! Golden army; attack. Leave none alive.'

What I knew of wars, there should be the clang of swords, commands shouted, the whistle of arrows flying through the air.

A mass of people climbing over each other. One frontline pushing forwards, one dropping back, a process that takes time until there is a break and then all formation is lost and everywhere you turn there is a foe to dodge. You may search for a friend or concentrate purely on yourself to survive.

This was nothing like that. Just as the Goblin said, the line which was at the forefront of the golden army, stampeded full speed ahead leaving a path of the dead in their wake. Butchered, severed, decapitated…

soon the morning sun was masked by crows swirling in the air like feathered hurricanes, preparing for the feast, and all façade of beauty, it was gone when the army returned to stand before us.

At their first hailing to the king, I had dropped to my knees as if they had plummeted their weapon deep into, not just my body, but my very soul, shattering it with guilt, regret and shame…

and to think it was in the name of my brother; I had done this.

Nuada had cursed me for the betrayal, but it was not him I had betrayed that day. It had been Corvin, the man who taught me the value in mercy.

That my desires should not besmirch what was good and right. No matter who or what you are, you arrive on this earth as an equal to all else, therefore it is not your place to say when they shall die, if you cannot look them in the eye first, where that equal ground still stands and deliver unto them with your own hand, a death you would also accept during combat.

Make your demise honourable by this acceptance that you were bettered. However, should wrong be done onto you in whatever form, then that test in honour would be not to stoop so low to their level, that you too become lost. Because with such a dark blight of character, there is no force but fate itself which can command that justice be bestowed upon the deserving and restore balance as a result.

I had made the only right choice I could have done in that moment, to plead with Balor to stop the bloodshed. Ignoring Nuada entirely, to the point I had almost forgotten his existence, because I was so absorbed with the memory of my brother and not the vengeance of him. The bond that we shared, in that moment it had dominated mine and Nuada's.

And I knew that from then, to this current day my people had been forsaken and damned not by the decision to end the fighting and lock the army away, but from choosing the darkness of vengeance over the light of honour.

"Trust me, once I got down there, it didn't take much for that admiration to change to disgust. I deserved this."

We fell silent with the past lingering around us hauntingly and we were like that for a long while, until he broke it with a question.

"what are you doing here."

It seemed like an accusation more than anything and I was slightly affronted, since I didn't actually know where I was and had been trying to figure out the significance of the area. I couldn't say I was failing miserably at it. Something was definitely being triggered, I just could not put my finger on it.

"it's a long story, a portal led me here."

He unexpectedly laughed in a menacing manner, "oh yes, and it just so happened to lead you here did it girly. You had no input"

Goblins were hardly polite, but this was beyond anything I would accept while considering that tendency. He was deliberately trying to annoy me I could tell, for who would dare call a princess 'girly' without want of causing offence. Particularly someone who had been there to see me stand at the side of King Balor and my husband prince Nuada. These were memories not stories which held no meaning for a person, who hadn't lived through them.

I gritted my teeth, thinking I would give him the benefit of the doubt, "why, where am I?"

He cocked his head, "Are you playing games. Do you play games now?"

My anger flared at his audacity as I flexed my fingers because in truth, it was I who now believed that it was he who was toying with me. Wanting to antagonize me as the fairy did in the troll market and as Mahrudid as well.

I hadn't been among my people much as the years dwindled into centuries. These few days while being in the troll market and before that the abandoned factory, it was probably the most I have ever been among them since the fall of Bethmoora. Therefore, it seems to me what I didn't like, is the fact that they had changed along with me and it invoked something which Balor once said to Nuada and myself, after I was provided with my royal seal bracelet.

'we serve the people; not they us. There may come a day when they realise, they trust no one else but themselves to secure their own future.'

Balor; he knew his subjects well enough to predict such a future which has come to pass. Would they even accept Nuada as their king, and not just because of the circumstances of his succession?

It would have been interesting to read a few minds and sense a few emotions of the crowd when Mahru made his announcement regarding Nuada. Then with that thought, I doubted myself as the queen who could have stood beside him, for I relayed on my gift to understand my people and didn't have the instinct as Balor did.

I decided in that instant to relinquish pride and just speak as myself, it might not hurt as much if I did just that. I might even gain more from it, because what respect was I owed really, as an absentee princess, who was a stranger to the fae, as much as they were to me.

I walked away from the goblin and stared off at the sea.

In which direction did my troubles lie?

However, the heaviness of their burden still sat on my shoulders, proving that no distance could be great enough to liberate me of some of their weight.

"I'm too tired to play games. I have absolutely no plan, there isn't a point in making one because nothing goes accordingly. I'm here purely because I've gone mad, perhaps. Something which could be very likely and wouldn't shock me in the least. Or, and I'm leaning more towards it; fate has brought me here. So, unless by some powerful magic I can interpret it's will, I still can't tell you why I am here and would be in your debt if you could solve some of the mystery for me."

Again, I flexed my hand and was met with confusion. He didn't know whether he should take me as genuine or not and I couldn't understand but for the flash of Nuada's face in his mind and the burning hatred he held towards him. Then it flashed to another memory…

"Your perception of me, isn't a favourable one is it? The way I leaned on Nuada and relinquished all sense of self, made me weak in your eyes. A lovesick wife that relied heavily on her husband to make it through the day."

The last memory was of me in Nuada's arms, as Balor and the goblin walked off to discuss the golden army's creation further, since the creature had turned back to look at us.

I seemed small compared to the prince, tiny and fragile as though a child terrified by many a nightmare. Wild eyed and stricken, clutching at the one thing she could find solace in with pure desperation. Pitiful, pathetic, a glass doll to be handled with carefully, less they crack.

"I assumed that there wasn't anywhere you would not follow, as long as Nuada was in the lead. And I have heard some stories of what he has been up to as of late."

His eyes had been shifty the entire time we had been talking and it was because he was waiting on Nuada's arrival. He believed I had come here to trick him into revealing the last hidden gate to Bethmoora, which the map I had neglected would have shown if I hadn't been so careless. I did not divulge this since I wanted him to trust in my intentions, but it had been hard to disguise my shock that this was where I was. That I was so close to the home I have not seen for thousands of years.

"then you must have heard my part in those stories also," I tried to defend myself. I know how such tales work, the details change with each mouth they pass through and I would not be judged by them, because I would much rather that I tell my own side of things.

He spat at the ground, with an inch spare between it and my boots, "I have been around elves long enough to see that bond of yours work. I can only imagine you dance to whatever tune Nuada whistles."

I sighed deeply, slightly embarrassed that this was his perception of me from that one look which has lasted all these years. But if he had felt in his heart what I had done that day, would he be so quick as to judge me. Was it fair he couldn't see that young lady grow and become much stronger for all her suffering? I squared my shoulders determined to show him just how far I have come.

"that day the golden army slaughtered all before it, where you have admitted to also lay bleeding on the ground, I made the first move to beg that our king never again unleash those monsters upon the land."

I drew closer to the precipice and closed my eyes, imagining myself there again, I spoke.

"On my knees I begged! knowing and feeling the utter resentment; the literal disgust emanating off my husband for my actions. When the crown was divided, as were Nuada and I. You've been among elves you say, then you know what a broken bond does to us."

He nodded at the catch in my throat, as the emotion was wild within me especially from reliving those early days. I suppose it was also over the terror of having just healed our bond, that I now risked a repeat in history happening, for I haven't changed in defying Nuada it seems.

"that's how I didn't see you leaving Bethmoora then. Why you weren't in the procession when everyone left the city?"

That wasn't a scene that was so easily painted in my memory, so I could only assume I had been hidden in a carriage, unable to ride or walk. It was like trying to make sense of a fog. The instant Nuada went into exile there was nothing until finally some clarity began to flicker in my vision of a forest, then I'm sure a crumbling fortress came into the equation somewhere, a cave…

"during our time apart, I crawled out of the darkness to find some light for myself, but despite what you may think, I did not neglect my duty as a princess in the end. When the threat of war was made, I returned to Balor, accepted my guardianship of the crown piece and have argued against the awakening of the golden army with every breath I take. I fought council members, lost dear friendships, endured a Skolga and the wrath of a forest god, as well as that of my husbands."

I neglected to tell the goblin the part where I healed our bond and that his suspicion Nuada may jump out at any given moment may turn out to be true. But thought it would do me no favours, since what I was trying to prove was that my will was my own and no others, that finally I had a backbone and didn't need anyone to hold me up.

"…ok, but that still doesn't answer the question, why you are here?"

"Because our mutual friend summoned her!"