No excuses for being unable to update for the past couple of days..

I've really been swamped at work.. spearheading a new project and also I've been picked to sing at our upcoming Christmas Party so I've been working non stop for a while now..

Gomen Gomen.. (bows repeatedly)

this is sequel 1 to my other oneshot 'Thinking of You.'

Sequel 2 is uploaded simultaneously 'Have You Ever'

Best to read 'Thinking of You' first before reading this ;)

And this fic is inspired by the song 'When I Look Into Your Eyes' by Firehouse XD

Text in italics is a flashback

xoxo Lexi1989

WHEN I LOOK INTO YOUR EYES

xOneShotx

He tossed and turned in his bed that night. It's been five days since he last saw her. Five days since he had stopped listening to his brain and acted to the beat of his heart. And his heart beats only for her. His arms were crossed under his head and he stared at the lights outside the window. He could see the faint blinking lights of the carnival they went to and he felt his heart ache, remembering that kiss they shared. It was his first kiss. He was never meant to fall in love with her because she wasn't meant for her. She was meant for his brother.

He closed his eyes to escape the feeling of dread but it only made it worse for even in his dreams, she was there. She haunted him. He thought of the first time he met her.

He was standing behind a tree near the shoreline observing the petite brunette that had her feet in the waves. Her brown hair and white skirt billowing in the wind behind her. He had been watching her ever since she came out of the house. Initially, she had had a frown on her face but when she immersed her feet in the ocean, her face was that of peace. She had her eyes closed, her hands outstretched as if embracing the ocean breeze.

The colors of the sunset engulfed her silhouette and made her appear like a celestial being in his eyes. Then the darkness slowly emerged with the lowering of the sun in the horizon, the wind delivering a chill in the summer air. He saw her shiver and decided to approach. He could see her clearly in the darkness, as he was used to it, she however had to squint to see him. And what seized his attention was her eyes.

They always said that 'Eyes are the windows to a person's soul' and he now understood why it was said as such. She had the most expressive honey gold eyes and it enthralled him. He could always tell what she was thinking in the short period of them hanging out together. When she was mad or happy. If she was irritated or deep in thought, her eyes would betray her words of denial. And that night, when he kissed her in the Ferris wheel, he saw the love in her eyes.

She looked so beautiful then, not that she was any less beautiful any other day. He never let go of her hand ever since he held it that night. They walked home in the company of the moon, their only witness in the starless sky. He kissed her once more when they got to her house. Standing underneath the tree that was her way to bolt from her overprotected life.

"I know I promised I wouldn't, but I love you Natsume." She had said to him, a bit breathless from the passionate kiss they had just shared and he held her in a tight hug, savoring her sweet scent of tangerines and strawberries.

Her eyes held the promise of forever. And just for that moment, he forgot about her upcoming engagement to his brother. Just for this short while, she was his. He couldn't make her a promise, but he wouldn't let the moment pass without telling her how he really felt.

"I love you too, Mikan." He whispered into her ear.

And as short as he expected, the moment was over.

Nobody in his family knew where he disappeared to every afternoon. They just figured he found something to occupy his time and didn't bother him about it. And every night when he came back home, he couldn't escape that heavy feeling of guilt when he looked at his older brother. Much more so after he ended up going against his better judgement and kissed her. She wasn't his brother's yet but that didn't make it any less better. Deep inside he knew this love was meant for heartbreak.

He looked at the alarm clock he had brought with him from the city. Doraemon's hands indicated that it was 9 in the evening and he still couldn't sleep. He knew he should stop seeing her. They would be formally introduced and he would be her non official brother-in-law in the next 24 hours. It would have been better to just stay away. He never should have even approached her in the first place but something pulled him towards her. It was like she was calling to him. And as much as he resisted, he couldn't.

He grabbed his brown leather jacket and headed out the door. Even with his eyes closed, he knew the path towards her house by heart now. He climbed the tree next to her window, ever so careful, but was shocked to find her curtains blowing in the wind. He peered inside and found the bed empty. He hurriedly climbed down, and began running towards the beach.

He found her at the bonfire spot near the rocks. She was laying on the cool sand, her knees tucked into her chest and to top it all off she was wearing jean shorts and a flimsy top. He took off his jacket and wrapped her up in it.

"You're an idiot you know."

He scooped her up and carried her back up to her room. He had to let her go, as much as it hurt. He kissed her one last time and left her in the darkness with a heavy feeling in his heart.

He walked along the seaside the next morning, hands in his pockets, deep in thought. Tonight was the night that the sad truth would be revealed and he pondered over the idea of not showing up. Not that there was even the slightest chance that his parents would agree to it unless he was sick. He couldn't even pretend to be ill since his mother could always see right through him.

Unconsciously, his feet took him near Mikan's house. He stood there for a few seconds until he felt he couldn't take it anymore and turned to leave, but an ear-piercing shriek shattered the quiet of the sandy beach.

"I DON'T WANT TO MARRY A PERSON I DON'T LOVE!" Her words pierced through his heart like flaming arrows.

It was all his fault. He made her fall in love with him. He should've stopped seeing her after the first day and maybe, just maybe, he could have spared her this heartbreak but he couldn't help himself. He was drawn to her like a moth was to a flame. And he hated himself for putting her through this.

He ran away. He ran until he felt his lungs burst with the need for air and his legs ached and collapsed under him. He fell to his knees on the sparkling white sand panting like a dog. He pounded the sand like a madman, curses pouring out of his mouth that would make a sailor proud. Sticky droplets oozed out of the cuts on his hand, staining the sand, brought about by the sharp edges of the sea shells that became unearthed as he poured out all of his frustration and anger.

It felt like forever before he stopped and finally went home, wet, bloody and disheveled, much to the dismay of his mother. He showered and dressed and prepared himself for the worst. They arrived at the familiar house he had been around for the past few weeks and he sat silent and brooding in the living room. His family, being used to his moods, let him be.

It took awhile before she finally descended the creaky wooden staircase in the wake of her mother who looked so much like an older version of her with short hair. He heard her gasp and he knew she had seen him. He made the mistake of looking up and directly in her enchanting eyes.

He could see the hope in them as her mouth curved upwards at the corners. He wanted to stand up and take her in his arms. But he couldn't. The sudden change in her demeanor was obvious to him as she was introduced to his older brother Tsubasa. She had stiffened, and looked from him to Natsume. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't take his eyes away from her.

His fists were balled at his side and he desperately wanted to leave. He could do nothing but speak to her through her eyes that mirrored his yearning for her. It was tearing him apart, having found love for the first time in his life and having to let it go. He was always giving way for his brother, the heir, for he was only second in line. His thoughts were going into overdrive. Thinking of ways to make her his. But alas, none could be manifested without having to cause an uproar. And so he buried this desire deep in his heart and decided to live with the consequences.

Meeting her wasn't a mistake to him. It never will be. For she showed him a love that he would never forget. And when she looked at him, he knew she would neither forget nor stop loving him.

The next two years were an agony for them both. Natsume was close to his brother, Tsubasa, who had asked him to be the best man at the wedding. And because of that, he could not shirk the duties that came along with it. Whenever Tsubasa would be late or could not be present for an arranged date or meeting with Mikan, he sent Natsume in his place. Sometimes, he would be a third wheel. The time would be passed with small talk but for the most part an awkward silence would embrace them. Crimson and honey gold would do the talking. The love they felt for each other didn't require words for they feared that putting it into words would

And as the date of the wedding grew near, he was filled with total desperation. They were back in the Hamptons, in the Hyuugas' grand estate. The wedding would be held in the garden and both families were housed in different wings in the mansion along with the bridesmaids and groomsmen. She was always so near yet so far from his grasp and it was killing him inside.

The morning of the wedding, everyone was busy with the preparations. The maids were bustling in the garden, pruning the plants, ensuring that the environment was lush and elegant. The wedding coordinator was busy flitting from one elegant room in the manor to another, checking and double checking all the minute details from the guests' seat plan to the china and silverware used for the dinner.

Everybody else was in the dining hall enjoying a heavy breakfast of pancakes, waffles, bacon and eggs with hot coffee or hot chocolate. The only absentees were the bride and groom who, by tradition was forbidden to see each other since the day before. He thought back on his conversation with Tsubasa the other night.

They were at a local bar, celebrating Tsubasa's bachelor party with the rest of the groomsmen. It was a very tame celebration. They played pool while drinking beer, behaving like the perfect gentlemen. The Hyuuga family, who came from high standards, would not tolerate having those surprise strippers that you normally see on tv shows and movies.

Natsume and Tsubasa were sitting at the bar, watching Tsubasa's friends play pool when the latter asked the former a very peculiar question.

"Hey Natsume, have you ever been in love?" Stupefaction was evident on the younger boy's face.

"Why are you asking me that?"

"I'm just curious bro. You're what now, eighteen? Yet you never brought a girl home."

"Hn." He shrugged the comment off and didn't answer but his eyes clouded over.

"So you have been in love." Tsubasa was closely observing his brother's reaction.

"Doesn't matter. She isn't mine to begin with." He downed his drink and signaled the bartender to bring him another.

"Does she feel the same?" Tsubasa was really interested in the topic and wouldn't back off. Natsume knew his brother enough to know that he wouldn't drop the subject.

"As far as I know." Blue eyes stared at crimson.

"Then you should fight for her." The older brother said with conviction.

"It's complicated."

"Nothing worth having is ever easy. If you both love each other, you should do everything that you can. You'll never know until you try."

"Never knew that you would be this sappy just because you're getting married." He punched his brother lightly on the shoulder.

"I'm not. I just want you to be happy is all."

"Are you happy Tsubasa? Does she make you happy?"

"It's not like I have a choice in the matter, right?"

"It was answerable by yes or no."

"She's nice to me and I know she'll make a good wife. I'm not in love with her but I think I can learn to love her." It was an honest answer, one that satisfied the elder but failed to appease the younger brother.

The conversation was interrupted when one of the groomsmen called them over to the pool table and the matter was quickly dismissed.

With just hours before the wedding, Tsubasa's words rang in Natsume's mind.

"Nothing worth having is ever easy. If you both love each other, you should do everything that you can. You'll never know until you try."

But was there even a chance? He asked himself. Would she even consider what he was thinking? He was sitting at the breakfast table, pushing his food around his plate. He didn't have any appetite at the moment. All he could think of was her. How empty his life would be without her at his side. How life would feel like Hell if he sees her everyday knowing she wasn't his. He couldn't bear the thought of just giving up. He had to do something.

He stood up, much to the surprise of those gathered around the table and left the room without a word. He walked briskly to the other side of the mansion, the west wing, where a suite of rooms was reserved for the Yukihira family. He didn't know which room she was staying in but he was willing to search every nook and cranny just to find her.

In his haste to find her, he failed to notice that the maid of honor was following him. He was down to the last couple of doors in the hallway. He had his hand on the ornate doorknob and was about to turn it when his soul nearly jumped out of his body when she cleared her throat behind him.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, her lavender eyes looking at him curiously.

"I'm looking for someone."

"Everybody is in the dining hall so I assume you're looking for the bride." He nodded silently.

"Why?"

"I have to talk to her."

"She's not going to change her mind." She said in a firm tone.

"I love her."

"I know." He wasn't surprised. He knew she was her best friend.

"I have to at least try."

"And then what? Elope with her somewhere where both of your families won't find you? Did you even think about what will happen if you run away with her hours before her wedding? How long can you last with your own money? How can you provide for her if you don't even have a job yet? When all you've been living on for the past eighteen years is coming from the family you will be running away from? Have you thought of that at all?" She strode over to the door where Mikan was and prevented him from entering.

"Look." He ran his fingers through his hair. He was getting agitated now, any moment, someone could come up and catch him in this predicament which would be harder to explain.

"I just want to talk to her, if she wants to push through with this wedding, then I will step aside. But if she still loves me, and wants to be with me, no one can stop us. I love her dammit and I just need to know her answer. I won't force her to do something she doesn't want to do. You're her best friend, don't you want her to be happy? Do you want her to spend the rest of her life married and unhappy with someone she doesn't even love?"

She looked hard at him, straight in the eyes, as if deep in thought. Then without a word, she stood aside and let him enter the door following in his footsteps. She locked it behind her and walked out into the balcony.

"You have ten minutes."

The clock was ticking.

Her dress was laid out on the bed, next to her shoes, and other little thingamajigs for the wedding. The photographer was coming soon to capture this moment on camera. She was sitting in front of her mirror, wrapped in his brown leather jacket, the one he had left behind on the last night they were together.

He took two steps before she saw his reflection. They stared at each other in the mirror. And seconds later, they were both in each other's arms. He inhaled her scent of tangerines and strawberries which he had longed for for the past two years. She buried her head on his muscular and toned chest, breathing in his aroma.

He could feel his shirt getting drenched by her tears but he didn't care. He only cared about her.

"Run away with me Mikan." He murmured into her hair, immersing his fingers into the silky brown locks.

"I -" She looked up at him. Her brown eyes fixed on his crimson ones.

He could see the love burning in her eyes but there was also something else. He could see her hesitation. He knew how she loved her family, else they wouldn't even be in this situation right now. She was brought up to love endlessly, and selflessly. To put others before herself. And that was what was tearing her apart right now. Her love for him and her love for her family. She wouldn't feel happy if she was to break off the engagement at the last hour. Because she was afraid her family would hate her.

"I don't know what else to say to convince you. But I love you Mikan. I've never stopped loving you. And I will still love you no matter what. I can't promise you a grand life if you choose me, but I know I won't be able to forgive myself if I didn't ask you now, before you give up your happiness. I hate myself for having to do this to you. I want you, no, I need you in my life. You are my happiness and my forever and I can see it in your eyes too."

She kissed him ferociously. All her feelings came pouring out of that one kiss. Feelings she had tried to bury deep inside for the past two years. Feelings she couldn't entertain the moment she became engaged to his brother. And with this one kiss, she let him know of how she still felt for him. The yearning and the longing for him and him alone.

"I love you too Natsume and I will always love no one else but you." Her fingers traced his face, memorizing every inch of the face that haunted her dreams every night.

"You have to go." Hope had filled his being when she kissed him, but her words now shattered his heart.

"Please think about it Mikan." He held her close to him, not wanting to let go. Wishing that she had said yes but she didn't.

He left the room then. He leaned against the door when he got outside, the adrenaline that rushed in his veins when he decided to ask her to elope now leaving and his strength waning. He slid to the floor, his back to the door, tears now wetting his cheeks, not knowing that the girl he loved was also crying on the other side.

She was torn. Oh how she wanted to take his hand and run off with him. How she wanted to shirk her responsibilities and live her life freely and happily with the man that she loved. But now she didn't know what to do. She was so confused that it left her in a daze when he left that she didn't notice that Hotaru came back into the room from the balcony.

"Are you alright Mikan?" Asked the worried maid of honor.

"I don't know what to do, Hotaru."

"Regardless what I say to you Mikan, only you can decide what you want to do. It's your life after all. You can't let other people dictate how you live your life."

"But I want to do what's right, I need to marry Tsubasa." The brunette sighed.

"What's right for you may not be right for everyone else, and vice versa." The lavender eyed girl eyed the brunette warily.

"You love the other guy, don't you?" She asked after being met with silence.

She sat in front of Mikan and held her hands in her dainty ones. She looked into her best friend's eyes and saw the answer.

"Whatever you decide, I will always support you." Hotaru hugged her tight.

She walked down the aisle on her beaming father's arm. Each step heavier than the next. Her heartbeat getting stronger for every inch that she came closer to the altar. They were at the eleventh hour and she still didn't know what to do. Her mind was going into overdrive yet when she looked up, all she saw the crimson eyed boy with the promise of tomorrow and nobody else.

He looked at her as her father passed her on to his brother with a proud smile. He still hoped, even at this time, that she would change her mind. He wouldn't give up on her. Not until she said the words that would bind her to his brother.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the sacrament of marriage of Tsubasa and Mikan. If anyone can show just cause why this couple cannot lawfully be joined together in matrimony, let them speak now or forever hold their peace." The officiating priest declared.

He waited but she didn't speak up. He took a deep breath and angled his body slightly so he could see her. Her veil was partially lifted up for her to speak into the microphone and her eyes were closed. She looked so distraught, it was ridiculous that his brother had not reacted with concern. And now, it was time for their vows.

"Do you Tsubasa, take Mikan to be your lawfully wedded wife? Do you promise to be true to her in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love her and honor her all the days of your life?"

"I do." Tsubasa answered.

"Do you Mikan, take Tsubasa to be your husband? Do you promise to be true to him in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, to love him and honor him all the days of your life?"

Their eyes locked. Crimson and honey gold. In that exact moment, it was as if the whole world paused and it was just the two of them. The noises shut out, time froze and what mattered was that moment.

'I love you.' He mouthed to her.

And just like that, the fleeting moment was over. All eyes were now on her, as everybody was waiting for her answer.

"I think we need a minute–"Tsubasa said quietly.

He led Mikan to a secluded part of the garden that was out of earshot for everybody present. Tears were now forming in the corners of her eyes and she was breathing erratically.

"Oh my God, oh my God, I am so sorry Tsubasa." She rambled.

"I'm going on a hunch here, that you're the girl that Natsume loves, aren't you?" He had seen the way Natsume looked at Mikan for the past two years since they were introduced.

At first, he thought it was nothing, but as time passed, he noticed the awkwardness between the two was not because they didn't have anything in common but because there was something between them. He observed them quietly for the past two years, and though Natsume never made a move, his eyes would always betray him. The way he looked at Mikan was how Tsubasa had been able to figure it out.

Her hesitation at the ceremony was what confirmed it. When she was asked the question, her eyes weren't at Tsubasa's at all. They were looking past him and at Natsume. And at that moment, his conversation with Natsume at the bar came rushing back to him.

"Doesn't matter. She isn't mine to begin with."

"Does she feel the same?"

"As far as I know."

"Then you should fight for her."

"It's complicated." No shit, Sherlock. Had he known, he wouldn't have let it go this far.

He remembered what Natsume asked him.

"Are you happy Tsubasa? Does she make you happy?"

"It's not like I have a choice in the matter, right?"

"It was answerable by yes or no."

"She's nice to me and I know she'll make a good wife. I'm not in love with her but I think I can learn to love her."

He took her hands in his own, then he looked his bride-to-be in the eyes.

"Do you love Natsume, Mikan?"

She was crying earnestly now, her mascara running down her cheeks as she nodded. He hugged her tight, knowing the road ahead wasn't easy for any of them. But he knew now what he had to do.

"Are you mad, Tsubasa?" She asked.

"Mad? Why would I be?"

"Because I love him."

"Well, I would have been, if I were in love with you. But the sad reality is that I'm not. No offense, you are a very beautiful girl. But we were both doing it as our responsibility to our families. To honor their agreement." His words rang with the bitter taste of truth.

"To tell you honestly, I was relieved that you didn't impose too much on me. You didn't force me to love you or made much effort to make me fall in love with you. I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?" She looked at him wide-eyed.

"Because I saw how you two looked at each other, but I didn't do anything about it. I thought it wasn't what I thought it was. But I was wrong. I shouldn't have let it come to this. I should have made a move to break the engagement."

She hugged him then. Thanking her lucky stars that he understood. Now the only problem was how to escape the wedding and the wrath of their parents. He wrapped his arms around her in a brotherly hug and kissed her forehead. And that was when Natsume and Hotaru burst into the area.

"Mikan, what's taking so -?" Hotaru stopped midsentence when they found the two locked in an embrace.

"What the fuck is going on here?" Natsume hissed as the two broke apart.

"You can thank me later, Nat." The elder brother winked at the two.

He pulled Mikan back into the garden where the guests were too busy whispering to notice that the bride and groom had come back with the maid of honor and best man in tow. The priest gave a sigh of relief and attempted to resume the ceremony when Tsubasa took to the middle and put his two hands up to put the crowd into mute.

"Ladies and Gents, we appreciate you taking the time to come up to the manor and grace us with your valued presence on this special day. However.." Tsubasa paused to give his announcement a little flair of drama.

Hushed whispers began to emanate from the crowd as they waited for the blue eyed young man to continue.

"However, Mikan and I have decided not to get married today. We believe that the sacrament of marriage is better suited to those who are in it for the right reasons. And as much as we would love to honor our families by being joined together by marriage, I personally feel like I would be a horrible person for keeping her from the one she truly loves and who loves her more than I ever could."

"TSUBASA! MIKAN! WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?" Ioran Hyuuga's voice rang throughout the garden as he stood up and confronted the group huddled near the altar.

"Otousan, let me explain." Tsubasa faced his father but Natsume stopped him.

"No. Let me."

All eyes were now trained on Natsume who had Mikan behind him. He stepped up to the front and faced the pair of parents who were waiting for an explanation.

"I love Mikan and she loves me. We've been in love since we met two sumnmers ago. I met her before the engagement was announced. "

Both sets of parents were shocked at the revelation as was everybody who was present in the venue. The three youngsters held their breaths for how the elders would respond. Both the Hyuugas and the Yukihiras were trying to process the information. Natsume held Mikan's hand tightly in his own.

"Otousan, I believe your agreement with the Yukihiras was that Mikan is to wed your son, right?" Tsubasa piped up suddenly.

"That is correct, Tsubasa."

"And isn't Natsume your son as well?"

"But –"

"I don't see a problem with Mikan marrying Natsume dear. There was nothing in the agreement that stipulated that she had to marry the eldest, and clearly, they love each other. Right, Mikan-chan?" Kaoru Hyuuga only took one look at Mikan, eye to eye, and she saw how the young woman felt.

"Yes, Auntie." Mikan meekly replied.

"It's settled then!" Kaoru clapped her hands above her head. "Unless any of you have a problem with it?" She looked at her husband and the Yukihira couple next to her who only shook their heads.

"I have a problem with it, Okaa-san."

Gasps were heard when the younger Hyuuga suddenly spoke up.

"This is not how I want to marry Mikan. Straight off the coattails of her supposed marriage to Tsubasa. I want it done on our terms." He looked defiantly at his parents.

"But Natsume, everybody is already here."

"Then celebrate something else, cause we, are certainly not to wed today. Enjoy the dinner everyone." He grabbed Mikan's hand and walked out of the garden leaving everybody dumbfounded.

As soon as they stepped out of the grand oak doors of the manor, they ran. In sync with each other, not needing any words to convey how they felt. They ran with their new found freedom with each other. They ran happy and carefree, tossing their shoes upon reaching the sand, feeling the grains shifting beneath their feet with each step. She didn't care as her expensive pristine white dress was now smeared with shades of brown and saturated by the onslaught of the waves. He did not care of the mess he left behind, knowing it would all be sorted out later. All that mattered was that they were together.

They reached the beach where they first met just as the fiery orb in the sky slowly receded into the waters below. The waves were tinted vermilion and the sky was an assortment of colors. Shades of reds, oranges and yellows illuminating its contrast with the crashing dark waves.

Before the darkness fell upon them, she turned to face him with that radiant smile of hers that he would never ever forget. He looked into her eyes and saw a myriad of emotions that mere words would never be enough to describe.

Peace. Serenity. Contentment. Love. Their dreams of belonging to each other coming true. The Promise of Forever.

END

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NATSUME!

And Happy Birthday Seiren Rindo! :)

Enjoy your special day!

So I decided against a two shot for 'Thinking Of You' because as my twisted mind dictates, I want to have two endings for that story.. two is always better than one right? Right?

Let me know what you think!

Read, Follow, Favorite and Leave a Review!

Ja Ne!

xoxo Lexi1989

P.S. The Guy Next Door (TGND) has been updated earlier today :D

Next up is Delicious Taboo (DT)

Then Secrets (SEC)

Then Karaoke Nights (KN)

I'll abbreviate those for next coz typing them up takes up too much time and I'm feeling a bit counterproductive today since it's Thanksgiving Holiday (Well in the USA) and work was slow..LoL..