A thousand apologies for the way overdue update! I generated some sort of a mental block with this chapter and had to re-write it 13 (!) times before I got it where I wanted it to go.

I'm really thankful and humbled by the reviews and support I've gotten, especially within the last few weeks. I honestly think I might have given up if not for those reviews, because they reminded me that somebody actually is still reading this and expecting me to continue! I wish I could reply to the few 'guests' that commented - thank you for reviewing! And for those of you who have told me they have saved this fic to their browser and check back weekly – I really recommend you register here, then you can use the e-mail alert feature, which is the bomb.

I hope you enjoy this chapter! Luckily I have written a few upcoming chapters while I've been chewing this one, so I can promise it won't take this long for me to update next time!

Happened before: drunk Regulus wound up in Spinner's End for the night, after telling Severus about Horcruxes.

""

Welcome to the wonderful world of jealousy, he thought. For the price of admission, you get a splitting headache, a nearly irresistible urge to commit murder, and an inferiority complex. Yippee.

J.R. Ward

""

There it was, finally. Not the answer, but the question. How could the Arch help the Dark Lord in his heart's desire? How could he reclaim the body of his youth and an intact soul? Was all he needed to do just walk through the veil? But then why had nobody ever come back out again when they had gone through?

Hadn't they simply been worthy enough?

It had started raining again, and the sound of bulleting rain assaulting the roof tiles was the only sound in the whole house. Severus laid in bed and stared at the pockmarked ceiling, thinking feverishly. His head was throbbing, his mind was in utter disarray, the nightmare and reality blending together. Downstairs, the grandfather clock struck once for half five.

And then, suddenly, the ward bell went off.

Severus shot up in bed. His first, groggy thought was that the factory committee man had returned with his pink brochures, until he realised that it couldn't be – it was the early morning hours, whomever was intruding was not there to do sales – and cold sweat rose to his forehead.

The feral owl was making racket downstairs; its screeching rang loud even over the sound of the ward bell, which was ringing in full fervour. Severus was already at the door, his wand in his hand, his body trembling with a sudden spike of adrenaline. He ran into Lily in the corridor. Her face was white with fear. Downstairs, the owl continued screeching.

"Get back inside and take Potter's wand!" Severus hissed at Lily. When she did not instantly move, he grabbed her by the arm and pushed her roughly into the bedroom, not minding Lily's surprised gasp. He yanked the door shut and pointed his wand at it.

Colloportus!

There was a faint squelching noise. Lily was sealed inside the room, and Severus strode to the stairway, skipping two steps at a time on his way down.

"Petrify!" a woman's voice shrieked, and the screeching of the owl ended abruptly.

Cold sweat rose to Severus's forehead. He had recognised that voice. And so, when he crossed the hall and appeared to the sitting room doorway, he already knew whom he would see in his house.

There, in the middle of Severus's sitting room, stood Bellatrix Lestrange, still wearing the dark robes and leather corset she had been wearing earlier that evening, as though she had not even seen her bed that night. She was in the middle of turning over the Petrified owl with her foot. Behind her, for a split second, the fireplace still gleamed with green flames, until the flames went out, leaving behind only a few red embers from last night's fire, and the room was cast in darkness again. Only Bellatrix's wild-haired silhouette was visible against the bookcases.

Severus pointed his wand towards the kitchen and the ward bell went silent; Bellatrix's head snapped up. She left the owl alone and straightened herself. Severus turned on the light and both he and Bellatrix blinked in the sudden brightness. Bellatrix sneered when Severus turned his wand towards her. His heart was hammering in terror.

Was she here because of Lily? Did Bellatrix know? Did the Dark Lord know?

"What the hell are you doing here?" Severus snapped, preparing to duel her.

But before Bellatrix could answer, the ward bell started ringing for the second time, and Severus jumped; as did Bellatrix, by the look of surprise and displeasure spreading on her face. A moment later, green flames burst into the fireplace behind Bellatrix yet again, and Narcissa Malfoy appeared into the frames of the fireplace. She was wearing a deep blue travelling cloak over what appeared to be a dressing gown, and silk slippers. She looked just as exhausted, if not more so, than when Severus had seen her earlier that day.

Bellatrix didn't seem happy to see her; she let out an impatient scoff upon seeing Narcissa, although she lowered her wand. Severus stared at the two women, utterly confused. He had a sneaking suspicion that his house wasn't under attack after all. Or at least he could not imagine what tactical advantage would sending Narcissa Malfoy bring to such a scenario.

"I told you not to come, Bella!" Narcissa said anxiously, shaking ash off her travelling cloak. She looked at Severus and shouted over the loud ringing of the bell. "I'm so sorry, Severus – really, please accept my sincere apologies on behalf of my sister, I told her to stay put, it's none of our business -"

She nearly tripped on the Petrified owl on the floor as she scrambled out of the fireplace, and seemed to forget what she was about to say as she frowned at the odd-looking animal lying on the rug, its wings frozen in mid-flight.

"What -," Severus asked in a forcedly calm tone, waving at his wand for the second time to shut up the ward bell. "- In Merlin's name is going on?"

Bellatrix paid him no attention.

"'None of our business'?" Bellatrix scoffed at her sister, turning her back on Severus as though he was air. "'None of our business', Cissy? Look around yourself!" She waved contemptuously around the sitting room – at the TV, at the floor lamp standing in the corner. Narcissa's gaze followed her hand. "Look at this Muggle dump! And you say it's none of our business?"

She strutted over to the window and cracked open the curtain to peer out into the dim yard, where water dripped against the muddy ground and the metal gate groaned in the strong wind. Taking in the tagged wall of Severus's neighbour and the few cars lining the street, she let out another scoff and yanked the curtain back over the window.

"It's a disgrace! Only vermin live like this!"

The word 'vermin' apparently finally reminding her of Severus's presence, she whirled around, her heavy robes rustling. Her eyes gleamed malevolently as she assessed Severus, who was eyeing her in dislike, his wand still in hand.

"You. Severus Snape," she spat the name like a curse word. "The Dark Lord's new favourite, pure-blood by his very own guarantee, living in a Muggle hovel like this? I don't think so! I have told my Lord over and over again, and shall tell him yet again, until he listens - if I have to drag him all the way here to see -"

Behind her, Narcissa looked very embarrassed.

"If you have a problem with my house," Severus sneered. "I invite you to get the hell out of it, Bellatrix!"

"Come on, Bella, we've trespassed enough," Narcissa grabbed her sister by the arm and tried to drag her towards the fireplace, but Bellatrix shook her off. "Bella!"

"I came to get him, and I'm not leaving here without him!" Bellatrix said, her eyes glinting as she stared at Severus.

"I'm not leaving anywhere with you," Severus said, clutching his wand tighter.

"Not you, you imbecile!" Bellatrix sneered. "My cousin! Where is he? Surely there can't be many places in this miserable little shack for him to hide?"

And she tried to rush past Severus, craning her neck to see over his shoulder, as though perhaps expecting to see Regulus crouching behind his back. But Severus slammed his arm across the doorway in front of her, blocking her way into the hall. Bellatrix's eyes darted up to his. They were still blood-shot from the Dark Lord's Crucio.

"Did I invite you to take a tour of the house?" Severus asked softly, looking down at the sneering woman. "If I didn't, I recommend you stay put, Bellatrix."

Bellatrix glanced at his wand, which was pointed towards her ribs, and narrowed her eyes. Her wand had appeared back into her hand and Severus likewise measured it with his gaze. Bellatrix's gaze was cold, calculating.

Severus's heart hammered in his chest as he prepared for sudden movement, for any tell-tale signs that Bellatrix intended to curse him... their eyes bore into one another...

"Let's all just calm down, shall we?" Narcissa said in a quivering voice, raising her hands. Bellatrix blinked and eye contact was broken. Narcissa sighed, "Severus, I'm so sorry about this terribly impolite disturbance, but is Regulus here? His mother owled us early tonight – he did not come home. And Lucius said he last saw him with you... Bella – er – insisted to come and see for herself if he's here. I'm sorry for the late -"

"He is of the Black family," Bellatrix breathed at Severus, ignoring her sister, whose voice trailed. "Do you know what that means? It means that not a drop of non-magical blood is running in his veins! His blood is as pure as can be! It means it is a disgrace for him to be associated with somebody as low-caste, as filthy-blooded as yourself!" She nearly shouted the last words at Severus in her excited fervour.

"As you yourself said, Bellatrix," Severus said softly. "My blood has been guaranteed by the Dark Lord himself. Do you dare question your Master?"

Bellatrix looked at him with an expression that seemed to suggest she had just tasted something foul.

"I question you, Snape!" She snapped, apparently choosing to not give a direct answer to his accusation. "One look at this hovel you call a home is an answer enough as to what is your true blood status! You filth!"

She spat on the floor in front of Severus.

"Bella!" Narcissa breathed, gripping the back of the armchair and looking scandalised. "That is enough!"

Severus blushed under Bellatrix's burning gaze. Rising anger was scorching him from within. He wanted to curse Bellatrix into a smear of phlegm, and it was only with great difficulty that he managed to reign in his heart's desire. His eyes moved to Narcissa.

"I will gladly go and get your cousin, Narcissa," he said softly. "Had I known your sister to be such a keen babysitter, I never would have dreamed of bringing him here – not when Bellatrix kept the nursery in Lestrange Manor ready for him."

Bellatrix opened her mouth to retort something, or perhaps to send another glob of spit flying his way, but Narcissa hastily grabbed her, pulling her back to her side.

"Thank you, Severus," she said quickly. "We'll be waiting here. Won't we, Bella?" There was a stern, meaningful edge to her voice as she addressed her sister, who scoffed contemptuously and did not look at Severus, but nevertheless let Narcissa frogmarch her to the sofa, where she was pulled firmly to Narcissa's side. She sat there, trapped under her sister's arm, giving Severus a sneer suggesting she was imagining in vivid detail what it would be like to dice him into tiny blood-soaked cubes.

Severus left the two sisters in the sitting room and headed to the tiny bedroom at the end of the corridor. On his way he passed the stairway and nervously peered up at the dark landing, thinking of Lily, afraid and trapped in her room. He looked behind himself but Bellatrix remained on the sofa, and did not presently seem inclined to rush up the stairs; she was busy listening to whatever the stern-looking Narcissa was whispering into her ear. Her expression was rather surly.

Severus was quite amazed that Regulus hadn't yet come out to see what the night time ruckus was all about, and wondered if the boy had really been so drunk that not even the ward bell had woken him up. But when he opened the door of the tiny downstairs bedroom, he saw that Regulus was sitting by the side of the bed, his hair all sticky-uppy, looking as though he had been wrenched out of bed against his will. The room smelled like old spirits and damp clothes. He cast a nervous look at Severus.

"As you might have heard, half of your family has shown up to claim you," Severus announced coolly.

"I heard," Regulus muttered.

"So you better go."

"I suppose," Regulus said, sounding reluctant. He glanced at Severus with an expression that didn't leave it in any way unclear he would have much rather stayed. They exchanged a look of dark understanding between them.

"I can't find my left sock," Regulus said, turning his gaze away and running a hand through his messy hair. He had drunk buttoned his robes.

Severus pointed his wand under the chair, and the muddy sock lying underneath it jumped up and fluttered on the bed. Looking embarrassed, Regulus pulled it to his foot, and got up.

"Well, then," he said, looking awkward. "Thank you for everything, Severus. It was -" he cast a glance at the open door and lowered his voice. "It was a real pleasure to sit down with someone as – er – discreet as you." He looked nervous as he glanced at Severus to see whether his rather lame attempt at secret code had sunk in. Severus nodded silently. He had no desire to go blabbing about what Regulus had told him at the pub last night.

Regulus straightened himself, looking a little happier. He made a half-hearted effort to scratch a dried vomit stain off his robes, but then gave up. No further goodbyes were exchanged between the two of them. Severus stepped aside to let Regulus pass, then followed him silently. In the hall he sent a quick, silent Obliviate to the boy's back. He took very little. Only those few moments in the pub when he himself had suggested that he regretted joining the Death Eaters. He couldn't risk anyone rummaging around the boy's head and running into that memory.

As Regulus entered the sitting room, Severus stopped in the doorway again, just in case Bellatrix tried to rush into the hall in some unpredictable fit of madness. But Bellatrix had moved to a half-lying position on the sofa, her head resting on her sister's shoulder; Narcissa was caressing her hair soothingly. Despite just a moment earlier having seemed so eager to remove her cousin from the place of filth and depravation that she considered Spinner's End to be, Bellatrix now didn't seem to be in any hurry to leave. She was staring at the fireplace, where the last embers of the evening popped meekly in shades of red and gold, and did not as much as look up when Regulus trudged into view.

"Regulus!" Narcissa said in a relieved voice, getting up (Bellatrix looked annoyed when she was pushed away). "Your mother was so worried about you – she wants you home straight away." Narcissa went over to Regulus and took his face into her hands. She smiled at him and rose on her tiptoes to kiss his high cheekbone. "I told her you were staying with us – thought it's best for everyone," Severus heard her whisper into his ear before turning away. Regulus hung his head, looking embarrassed. Narcissa gave him another smile.

"Let's go then, shall we, Regul -"

"Don't I get a kiss, dear cousin?" A sleek, mocking voice interrupted.

Regulus's head snapped up.

"After coming all this way to get you..." Bellatrix tutted quietly from the sofa.

The atmosphere in the room had turned stiff; even Narcissa's smile seemed to have frozen a bit. Apparently oblivious to the suddenly uneasy atmosphere, Bellatrix turned her head to display a porcelain-coloured, sculpted cheekbone. Her eyes, looking over at the fireplace again, were glinting malevolently.

Regulus stood frozen, and for a moment Severus thought he would refuse the invitation, but then he trudged over with an air of utmost reluctance, and after a heartbeat's hesitation, bent his head to give Bellatrix's cheek a hasty kiss which probably did not touch her skin, withdrawing quickly. Severus couldn't help but feel disgust on Regulus's behalf. He knew Bellatrix was enjoying the situation immensely; she probably knew or guessed that Regulus was sore about what had happened to his brother. She withdrew back to the sofa and gave her cousin a smile that didn't reach her hooded eyes, which glinted just as coldly as ever.

"Let's take you back to bed, now, shall we?" Narcissa said, wrapping her arm around Regulus and leading him to the fireplace. She tried to smooth his messy hair on the way.

"Aren't you a sweet little mother hen tonight, Cissy," Bellatrix said mockingly from the sofa. "Practising?"

"Er... maybe it's better that you go directly to your mother's house." Narcissa said a little more brusquely to Regulus, glancing quickly at Bellatrix. Narcissa took out a silvery container from the depths of her cloak, and cast a handful of green powder into the fire. "The House of Black."

Regulus stepped into the flickering green, casting one last pleading glance at Severus, who guessed he was thinking of his mother's knob bat, but could do nothing but nod at the boy in goodbye. With an air of resignation, Regulus sighed and disappeared. Narcissa turned to look back over her shoulder.

"Bellatrix," Narcissa said warningly, because Bellatrix still lounged on the sofa, looking as though she intended to stay. Narcissa threw a handful of green powder into the fire and then set the silvery container on the sofa next to her sister. She climbed into the fireplace. "I'll go and escort Regulus home, but I expect to see you back home when I get back, Bella, because I want a word with you. House of Black." She directed the last words to her surroundings, and in another stern glance at her sister, and a flash of green, she was gone.

Severus turned his head towards the last remaining visitor. Bellatrix was still lying on the sofa, her eyes now fixed upon him. She had taken out her wand again and was twirling a lock of her long dark hair around it, an oddly calculating look on her face.

"Intending to stay, Bellatrix?" Severus asked quietly. "I thought you had had enough of this hovel... as you so elegantly called it..."

"In a hurry to get rid of me, Snape?" Bellatrix whispered, cocking her head. "I wonder... why?"

"As enjoyable as hosting you has been," Severus said sleekly, walking over to the fireplace; Bellatrix's dark eyes followed him. "It is still not even six o'clock in the morning. And so I would gladly return to my bed if you don't mind. Alone, I'm afraid, Bellatrix."

He couldn't help but smile mockingly at the look of anger and disgust spreading on Bellatrix's face as she caught the hint. Severus expected an angry retort but instead she just arranged her features into a dark smile, which died quickly.

"I shall leave you alone, then," she whispered. "For now..."

Bellatrix graciously slid up from the sofa, the silvery Floo powder container in her hand, and walked past him towards the fireplace. Severus waited tensely for her to disappear into the green flames after the rest of her kin. But instead she stopped abruptly. Severus frowned as she reached her hand towards something on the mantle piece.

"Oh, look..." she said softly.

She turned to him, a horrifying, knowing smile on her face, and raised her hand to show Severus what she had discovered from the mantle piece.

Severus's eyes darted to the small, black, rectangular object in her hand. His heart seemed to skip a beat. He suddenly knew that she had noticed the object a long time ago, and had simply been abiding the right time to bring it up.

"Why would little Snapey need a Dark Curio, hmm?" Bellatrix cocked her head and eyed him through heavy lids, still smiling. "Does he have something to hide? Something in that greasy head of his he wishes to keep secret? Something he'd rather -" she let out a low hiss when Severus grabbed her by the wrist.

Severus had bared his teeth, Bellatrix's smile had died and she was now staring at him with clear distrust and loathing. She had closed the hand Severus had grabbed into a fist. The Curio was still in her clutches. Two pairs of dark eyes narrowed, measured one another.

Then, suddenly, Bellatrix tried to push into his mind, violently and urgently and painfully. Severus's eyes widened.

The steady throbbing in his head - leftover from the lack of sleep and his nightmare - instantly turned into a pounding headache as she did her best to slice his defences out of the way, to force her way in. But he resisted. There was a cold sheen on Bellatrix's forehead, and for a moment they were locked in silent battle, invisible to the eye.

Finally she withdrew. For a moment they both stood there, their eyes still locked, breathing heavily.

"Oh, very good," Bellatrix whispered, catching her breath. Her eyes gleamed darkly. "Very, very good. So it's not just a decoration after all... little Snapey does know a thing or two about Occlumency..."

Severus slowly let go of her wrist.

"I need it for work," Severus said very, very softly. "Now, kindly put it back, will you, Bellatrix. We musn't touch what isn't ours."

Bellatrix's eyes narrowed. Severus forced his expression to remain impassive, though his heart was beating rage into his veins.

"We don't want to keep your sister waiting, do we?"

For another moment they gazed at each other. Then Bellatrix pressed the Curio onto his palm, before climbing into the fireplace.

"Malfoy Manor," she said as she threw a handful of Floo powder onto the red embers, which sprouted green flames once more. Then, with one last contemptuous glance at her surroundings, she was gone. When she disappeared, the spell binding the owl vanished and it let out a screech, before flying on top of a bookcase.

Severus took a deep breath to calm his racing heart.

Bellatrix would be watching him like a hawk now. Had she ever suspected him of hoodwinking, there was no doubt her suspicions had only grown now that she knew he was capable of Occlumency. Severus frowned as he stared at the dying embers. Still, Bellatrix had a lot of faith in her dear Master. Surely not even she truly imagined him to be capable of hoodwinking the Dark Lord?

But still, she was so unpredictable...

Severus pondered about the matter for several minutes, before remembering Lily. He turned on his heel and climbed upstairs. He found Lily sitting on the divan in her bedroom, looking very pale. The lone candle on the bedside table was on, the only light in the otherwise dim bedroom. Potter's wand was next to her on the divan, on top of some pink lacy garment, and when Severus entered, her hand nudged towards it as though by instinct. When she saw it was only him, she crossed her hands in her lap. She stared at him anxiously.

"They're gone," Severus said quietly. "All of them."

"It was her, wasn't it?" Lily asked in a trembling voice.

Knowing whom she meant, Severus nodded. Lily appeared nauseous.

"How did she get in?" She asked quietly.

"Floo network," Severus admitted in embarrassment. He avoided her eyes. "I... forgot about it."

Lily turned to stare at the fireplace in the corner of the room, and Severus knew she was imagining green flames bursting into its dark mouth. She shivered as though the temperature in the room had dropped abruptly.

"I'll go and remove the house from the network first thing today," Severus promised regretfully. "I... I'm sorry. I should have thought of it. I never get visitors, so..." his voice trailed.

"I don't want to sleep alone," Lily said suddenly. She turned her almond-shaped eyes towards him. "Will you stay with me?"

"I – what?" Severus asked, for a moment thinking he had heard her wrong. Lily shifted uncomfortably, smoothed the hem of her dressing gown.

"Do you mind sleeping here with me?" She asked quietly. She shifted again. "I mean... I know it's quite early and it will only be a few hours before you're leaving anyway..."

Severus suddenly felt as though the temperature in the room had increased by about a thousand degrees, and he could not understand how Lily still seemed to be shivering.

"Sure," he heard himself saying, as though somebody else had spoken with his mouth. "If that makes you feel better."

After a moment's hesitation, Lily nodded. She did not look at him when she got up and walked over to the bed. She took off her dressing gown before slipping under the covers next to the wall, and Severus kept his eyes strictly on the divan, but his imagination filled in what he could not see, and he vividly saw her wearing one of those lacy, racy things he had seen on the divan. His head was suddenly empty, and the headache disappeared without a trace, driven away by his quickened blood circulation probably, though it seemed as though most of the blood was fast slipping away from his head.

"Are you coming?" Lily asked quietly, her voice returning Severus back to earth.

He approached the bed cautiously. After a moment's vacillation about whether or not to keep his dressing gown on, he climbed into the bed with it still on (seeing as how he was wearing nothing but boxers underneath) and tried not to look at Lily when he laid down next to her. He felt like he had gone back in time to six years ago – when they had become too old to sleep right next to each other, but she had still continued to invite him in; when he had laid on top of the comforter stiffly and felt equal parts offended that she no longer wanted to snuggle against him for warmth, and equal parts relieved that he did not need to lay right next to her out of fear his pubescent body would react in unexpected ways. He was prepared to remain on the comforter, but to his surprise, Lily pushed it aside and gave him an odd look.

"Aren't you cold?"

In truth, Severus certainly wasn't cold, but he slipped under the comforter anyway, and then laid stiffly in place, his heart hammering even quicker than when he had seen Bellatrix standing in the middle of his sitting room, and he imagined feeling Lily's body burning in some sort of incomprehensible heat next to him. He was uncomfortably hot, the comforter and the bathrobe wrapped around him like a shroud.

"What's that?" Lily asked suddenly. Severus blinked and glanced at his lap in panic – just in case – but then realised Lily was referring to the Curio, still clutched in a death grip in his hand on top of the comforter. Lily took it from his hand and Severus dared to glance at her. She was examining it, a strange, blank look spreading on her face.

"It's a Dark Curio," Severus said, taking it from her and covering it with his hand. Lily blinked. "It's meant to intrigue it's viewer - it's used to practice Occlumency. You need to be careful with it though. It's categorised as a Dark object because it might lull you into eternal hypnosis if you look at it too long, without knowing how to shut your mind. Unless you set up an alarm, of course." He opened his hand and Lily's eyes went strangely blank again when the Curio came into her view. He closed his fist again, and Lily blinked and turned to look at him.

"Why do you have it?" Lily asked.

"I need Occlumency at work," Severus said. "And it's a handy little skill to have. Especially... now." He glanced at her quickly but deciding not to confide in her about the Dark Lord out of fear of seeing the familiar look of disgust in her eyes, he turned his gaze away. "You should sleep," he said quickly.

Lily stared at his closed fist for a very long time without saying anything. Severus turned to position the Curio on the bedside table, before blowing the flame from the candle. He returned to the pillows and stared up at the ceiling, feeling as though the room somehow shrunk in the blue-hued darkness.

Lily moved next to him, just a little, but he was so hyper-attuned to her body that it felt as though she had shaken the entire bed. Severus swallowed. Behind the window, rain bulleted against the side of the house in a sudden spasm, and wind howled through the chimney. Other than that, it was quiet.

"The weather has been so horrible lately," Lily whispered, her soft voice coming from somewhere very close to Severus. "It feels like late October, doesn't it? It must be the Dementors..." her voice trailed.

Severus smiled a little, experiencing another case of déjà vu.

"Are you still afraid of them?"

"Dementors?" Lily asked quietly. She was quiet for a moment, and did not sound entirely convincing when she finally said, "No."

"I saw a few yesterday," Severus said. "They looked just as nasty as they do in the photos..."

"Really? Where?" Lily sounded shocked, then intrigued.

"At the Ministry. They were escorting the Minister away. The former one, I mean."

"And did it feel -" Lily's tone was equal parts awe and fear.

"No," Severus said, quite enjoying her impressed attention. "There were Patronuses keeping them in check. Only the Minister was affected. She was crying and looked ready to vomit..."

Lily shifted again, and Severus did not dare to look at her to see whether she had moved closer or further. For a long while the only sound in the room was the rain and the howling wind, and Severus thought Lily had already fallen asleep, when she finally spoke again.

"D' you think it's very important? To learn about the Patronuses, I mean? To know whether they can see or not..."

Severus frowned. He turned on his side to look at Lily. Her face was white in the dim light, and very close to his. Severus stared at her for a moment, realising she was so close he could have pressed his lips on hers without effort, and nearly forgot what they had been talking about. But then he remembered, and frowned again.

"Not necessarily," he said finally. "It's just this preoccupation that I have... I feel like..." he was silent for a moment. His eyes moved from Lily's eyes to her hair. He shook his head. "I feel like Dumbledore is hiding something. He saw me yesterday in the Ministry. I expected him to confront me, but he didn't. He just gave me this weird look..."

"Dumbledore doesn't confront Death Eaters," Lily said, looking restless. "And neither does the Order. We do know a few of you by name – Dumbledore has ears everywhere. We heard Regulus had joined, for instance. But it wouldn't do to just go barging in, accusing people..."

"Yes, but I would bet my right arm that he doesn't just collect that information for his own amusement; he must intend to use it somehow..."

Lily stared at him with a thoughtful look on her face. Severus eyed her back silently. Outside, the bulleting spasms of rain had turned into a steady, throbbing rain which plummeted against the roof tiles.

"I'll study about them, then," Lily said finally. "Patronuses. When I get my wand back, I'm going to cast one." She nodded decisively.

They both jumped a little when a gush of strong wind sent a tile spiralling off the roof, and it chipped off a piece of the windowsill with it. Lily, who had darted up to her elbows, lowered herself back to the mattress, looking pale.

"I don't think I can sleep," she said nervously. She glanced at the fireplace in the corner again. "I haven't slept all night. I keep expecting something bad to happen again. And then she shows up here - as though I don't see nightmares about her already..."

"Nothing's going to happen," Severus promised firmly, cursing Bellatrix Lestrange in his head. He felt chills down his back when he thought of what might have happened had Bellatrix appeared into the house when he had been away, had she come just a few hours later when he was at work... had she come face to face with Lily, who was practically wandless... Severus had to physically shake his head to get the nightmarish vision of coming home to find Lily dead on the sitting room floor off his head. "I promise she's never coming back here again."

"How?"

"I'll think of something," Severus said. "Just trust me."

Lily eyed him silently for a moment, before she nodded shortly. "All right."

Still, she turned her eyes back towards the dark fireplace.

"Wait - I know," Severus said and took his wand from the bedside table. He pointed it towards the fireplace. "Obstructo."

There was a soft plopping sound in the chimney, as though a cork had been put into place. The sound of the wind and rain became slightly more muffled. Severus then locked the bedroom door, before putting his wand away and turning back to Lily. "Better?"

Lily looked a little happier and snuggled deeper into the covers, so that only a sliver of her face was visible between the pillow and the comforter. She nodded.

"Try and get some sleep, Lily," Severus said gently. "I think you need it."

"I'm not the only one," Lily muttered, surveying him through her lashes. "You were sick last weekend. You if anyone should be sleeping. You still look a little ill."

"I wasn't sick," Severus couldn't help but scoff. He absent-mindedly tried his neck, where the scar Potter had given him was visible over the collar of the dressing gown, and tried to pull the garment over it. Lily noticed this.

"Is it still hurting?"

"No."

"Can I see?"

After a moment's hesitation, Severus reluctantly loosened his hold on the dressing gown and turned his head so that Lily could see the scar better. He felt uncomfortable when Lily shook the comforter off herself (she was wearing something which revealed her shoulders, and had dark straps, Severus noted with interest) moved closer and stared at the offensive, ugly mark, and reached her hand out to touch it. Her fingers trailed the length of the scar and with a mingling sense of shame and arousal, Severus decidedly stared at the ceiling. He fought against the abrupt, mad desire to grab Lily and pin her against the mattress with his body, to yank her thighs apart and press his throbbing cock against her knickers.

"It doesn't look bad," Lily said. "It's very clean-looking, actually – like a knife wound. Straight and narrow. That healing spell you did – what was it? 'Vulnera Sanentur'? - was pretty effective. It might take the scar a few months to turn white, but it won't leave a keloid."

Severus nodded quietly. Lily withdrew her hand. She remained close, so close that Severus faintly felt her breath on his cheek.

"Severus..." Lily said quietly, and Severus's heart started beating faster at the sound of his own name on her lips.

"Yes?" He whispered a little hoarsely, glancing at her nervously.

Lily was quiet for a moment. She snuggled back into the covers and looked away.

"Have you ever killed anyone? Someone else besides Mulciber and Avery, I mean?"

She sounded nervous. Severus stiffened. His ridiculous fantasies evaporated instantaneously. He turned on his back and stared at the ceiling.

"No," he said curly.

Lily moved a little, whether further or closer, Severus couldn't tell.

"And James?" She asked, and now her voice was very nervous. "Why did you try and curse him? That's what you were trying to do, weren't you?"

Severus could tell that she was holding her breath. He narrowed his eyes at the ceiling. He did not want to discuss or even as much as think of James Potter when Lily was lying in bed next to him, nor did he want to hear the cosy way she now called him by his first name when before he had always been 'bloody Potter'. His disgusting nightmare floated in his mind again, the helplessness he had felt in the dream as he had seen Potter kiss and grope Lily without being able to move a muscle, the eager way she had surrendered to him... perhaps just as eagerly as she had in real life...

"You don't have to worry about your precious Potter," Severus said finally, quite bitterly, his mind stuck in a disgusting vision of Potter mounting the eagerly writhing Lily. "It was just a... moment's madness. I couldn't do him in if I tried."

Lily was quiet for another moment, and Severus could feel her eyes boring to the side of his face.

"What do you mean? Do you mean you've, um, forgiven him?"

"No," Severus snapped, a little rougher than he had intended. "No, I won't ever forgive Potter."

"I don't understand, then."

"I don't want to talk about it," Severus said, turning his head away, towards the window, where pale morning rays were sneaking in through the dusty curtain.

"Please?" Lily asked quietly. "I'm trying to... I'm just trying to understand you."

Severus was quiet for a long while. He felt Lily move again, and he could feel the nervousness radiating from her. He rubbed his eyes and sighed.

"I am unable to kill Potter because years ago, he did something which left me in his debt," Severus muttered stiffly, letting his hands fall back on the comforter. "And until that debt is repaid I am unable to kill him."

"What do you mean? What did he do, then?" Lily whispered.

"Years ago Black planned an amusing little prank, which, had it succeeded, would have led me to my death, but to save his own skin, along with his mates', Potter came to my aid," Severus said through tight lips. "Because of his cowardice, a magical bond was – apparently – born between us. One that would prevent me from finishing him off even if we were duelling with the intention to kill. I can assure you this bond is not voluntary by any means. Nor did I even know or guess of its existence before last weekend..."

There was a short, stunned silence.

"You don't – you don't mean that time he saved you from the Shrieking Shack, do you?" Lily asked, her tone a mingling of shock, incredulity and exhaustion.

"I wouldn't call it saving," said Severus, grimacing. "And he certainly didn't do it on my account. He did it to save Black and Lupin from certain expulsion and trial -"

"What's Remus got to do with this?" Lily asked quickly.

Severus gave a heaving sigh.

"Never mind," he muttered, turning eyes back towards the ceiling. He could see Lily out of the corner of his eye; her eyes were fixed upon him. "The point is, this sort of magic is unpredictable and hard to define. Potter didn't come to my aid because he cared the slightest bit whether I live or die, but whatever his reasons were, the act dictated that a magical bond of obligation was born that moment. One that can't be broken except through his death, or through repayment."

"So... you mean you really would have killed him?" Lily whispered, sounding terrified. "If not for this debt?"

"I don't know," Severus muttered after a very long, pregnant pause, during which he could hear Lily holding her breath. "At the moment when I could have done it... I didn't want to. But like I said, it's very unpredictable sort of magic... maybe that was the magic..."

He closed his eyes to escape from Lily's staring. He felt his face grow warm and a cocktail of emotions stirring within himself; a sense of failure, and relief, and embarrassment for having to admit all this to Lily.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when he suddenly felt Lily's hand on his cheek. His eyes shot open and he turned to look at her. Lily was leaning against her elbow, and her beautiful eyes were solemn as they gazed down at him. A lock of her hair had fallen against his neck, where it tickled his bare skin softly. Her hand was warm on his cheek as she softly smoothed his cheekbone with her thumb.

"I'm glad," Lily said firmly. "I'm so glad you didn't kill him, Severus. I'm glad that you haven't turned that way."

He flushed under her intense gaze, but before he had the time to get over his shock, Lily withdrew her hand and pressed her head back on the pillow.

"Good night, Severus," she said softly, closing her eyes.

"Good night, Lily," Severus said after a moment's stunned silence. Lily's eyelids fluttered, but she said nothing more. Perhaps she was already asleep.

He watched her for a long time after, restlessly, his heart swelling with emotions so strong they frightened him.

""

Severus woke up before eight to the sound of two owls carrying Daily Prophets tapping at the window, and was forced out of bed to let them in. The sky outside had brightened to a cloudy white while they had slept. Lily was still asleep. She shivered when cold draft blew in through the window as Severus closed it, and he put his own comforter over her, stopping to brush a lone red lock of hair off her cheek. She sighed sweetly, and Severus felt oddly giddy and gentle as he backed away from the bedroom, shutting the door behind himself. After a quick shower (a freezing cold one, to get rid of certain physiological issues he had no time to get rid of by any other means), he headed downstairs. While he had laid awake in the early morning hours, his mind full of hazy, rose-tinted fantasies about Lily, his subconscious had worked on another problem entirely, and he now went to take out a quill and a piece of parchment, sitting down by the kitchen table to pen a letter.

Dear Narcissa,

It is with a heavy heart and great worry over your sister's health that I am writing you. Last night after your departure she accused me of some unfounded, nasty things – which I shall not disclose here to save you from further embarrassment – and her general unstable behaviour led me to worry that the Dark Lord's recent punishments might have shaken her mental health.

Your sister seems to be under the delusion that I am trying to come between her and the Dark Lord, and I believe this jealousy to be the root of her sudden distrust towards me. I deeply fear that should she not shake these unfounded delusions out of her head, and continues to harass the Dark Lord about them, she will face his displeasure again. Knowing how deeply you care about her well-being, I implore you – to the best of your ability – to try and make her see reason, and shield her from any unnecessary excitement for the time being. I have heard great things about a Potion called CalmBrew which might do the trick if all else fails.

However, being aware of her propensity to violence towards even closer acquaintances as myself, I wish, for my own safety, that you would keep me updated if it comes to your attention that she is plotting anything involving myself. I advise you not to mention this letter to her, as that might only further feed her delusions.

I also wish to disclose here that to prevent her from entering my dwellings again I have removed my house from the Floo network for the time being. I have done this for my own safety as well as for hers.

Yours, most sincerely,

Severus Snape

After reeling the reluctant owl off the bookcase, Severus sent it off with the letter and then headed straight to the Ministry. After quickly popping in the Department of Transportation to remove his house from the Floo network, Severus made his way to the Chamber of Death, feeling a certain quiet excitement upon entering which he hadn't felt in a long time.

The Arch awaited him, the chamber was full of quiet whispers, and the veil fluttered like it always did, but for the first time in a long while, he felt some measure of hope as he rolled up his sleeves and kneeled by the Arch's side. The chamber was full of books; during the months he had worked there, Severus had hoarded half of the library's contents to himself, having grown tired of moving between floors every time he needed to check something. It felt as though the Arch was excited too, because the whispering seemed louder than usual, the pull of the veil even harder to resist than usual.

"Today," Severus murmured determinedly to the stone, running his palm over the jagged stones, his quiet voice echoing in the empty chamber. "Today you will reveal to me your secrets."

The whispering exploded.

Severus... something inside the Arch moaned in a blurred, frightening whisper, making his skin crawl and the little hairs on his arms stand up. Severus... Severus... come closer... Se -

Severus jumped back, nearly tripping on the uneven stone floor in his haste to get away. He stared at the moving veil. Behind it, for just a second, he imagined seeing a blurred, skeletally thin human shape. He paled, and quickly averted his eyes – when he looked back it was gone. Had he just imagined it?

It took him a long time to calm his mind enough to work again, and even then, he couldn't help but periodically glance at the veil, behind which he now only saw the dark stone wall of the chamber, only slightly blurred through the spider web-like fabric. When he turned his head away, he felt as though somebody was still watching him through the silently fluttering veil. He did not touch the Arch again.

But the Arch did not reveal its secrets to him. When he finally gave up for the day to go home, darkness had already fallen over Cokeworth. It was still raining, and the trees by the river rustled softly in the strong wind as he Apparated to the door of his house. Lily was in the sitting room, lying on the sofa with a book in her lap, her legs swung over the back of the sofa, a look of concentration on her face. The room was lit with the blinking light of the TV, which was muted. Lily was practising something resembling a wand movement with a stray quill, but when he entered the room she set the book aside and got up to a sitting position. Severus noticed the title Patron to a Patronus on the book cover.

"You came late," Lily remarked, frowning at him. Then she bit her lip and said, a little defensively, "I mean... not to sound nagging, but it's past nine... I was a little worried..."

"Something came up at work," Severus said vaguely, pushing his hands into his pockets.

"You got a letter," Lily said, nodding at an envelope on the side table, on top of which his name was written in spiralling green letters. Severus tore open the letter and felt Lily's eyes on him when he read Narcissa's reply, where she expressed her deep gratitude for Severus's concern and promised to keep Bellatrix, who had apparently had similar problems with her "sensitive and passionate" temper in the past, far away from him and Spinner's End. Severus smiled wryly and pushed the letter into his pocket.

His failure with the Arch was still weighing heavily on his mind and he did not feel particularly sociable, but Lily huddled on the sofa and looked at him with such imploring eyes that he sat down in the armchair and, remembering he was her only social contact of the day, dutifully asked her how her day had been.

Lily grimaced.

"Well, I've had a very educational day," she said, shaking her red hair over her shoulder and lifting her fingers to calculate. Lily scrunched her face as though she was trying to think very hard, "Firstly, I learned that day time telly is the worst," she lowered a finger, "- secondly, I learned that conjuring up a Patronus is really difficult, -" she lowered another finger, " - and thirdly, I learned that it's even harder to conjure one when you're trying to use a quill to do it - " third finger went down, "- and fourth, I learned that your next door neighbour is moving." Her hand fell to her side and she cast a look of dull desperation at Severus, before huffing, "I feel absolutely bloody useless."

Severus thought of the Arch and the Dark Lord and the churning feeling in his stomach which reminded him that his days were numbered if he did not come up with some sort of a solution. As he looked at Lily he suddenly fervently wished he could tell her about his predicament. But even as he pondered this, the Langlock stiffened his tongue. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"I know precisely how you feel," he muttered tiredly.

""

As the week progressed, Severus was getting seriously frustrated with the Arch. For a moment he had been so certain he had stepped closer to getting the Dark Lord what he wanted, but it turned out that knowing what he wanted was one thing, knowing how he could get it a whole other.

He remained at work so late on Wednesday that when he came home Lily had already shut herself in her room, and the house was so eerily dark and quiet that Severus had to cast a Revelio Charm to shake off the horrible feeling of coming home to an empty house. Relieved to find Lily asleep in her bed, Severus returned downstairs, where he was unable to fully relax or concentrate on his books all evening, and finally, when the grandfather clock under the stairs struck twelve, he trudged back upstairs and into bed, only to roll in his sheets until late at night, just as restless as before, before slipping into equally restless dreams where Potter jeered at him and blurred characters crawled out of the Arch. Somehow his head felt twice as heavy as usual when he woke up to a windy, bleak Thursday morning.

With all that had happened, Severus had completely forgotten that he had been invited – or coerced, as he rather bitterly thought – to go and help in the Shell chamber for the rest of the week, and so his mood did not improve much that Thursday. The experiments were a gruesome business. Severus had soon after starting at the Ministry come to the knowledge that the Shells were not the only things left behind after a Dementor's Kiss: also the separated souls were confiscated from the Dementors as part of the sentence and catalogued into another room in the Chamber of Death (although there were several reported cases where the Dementors had greedily slurped down a particularly succulent soul before anyone had had the time to react). Most of the Shells were destroyed soon after for taking so much space, but these souls remained, floating in their glass containers for all eternity.

So it had been a nasty shock to Severus when he had first participated in the experiments and realised that the souls were temporarily put into the remaining bodies and tested for things like "loss of sensation" (meaning they were tortured) and "coherence" (meaning that two souls were put into the same body). If the murderers and rapists that had been sentenced hadn't been barking mad when they had been sentenced, decades of boring, sensory-deprived existence in glass jars certainly had done the trick. And so, that week, Severus was not the least bit surprised when a particularly mad old wife killer broke away in the middle of examinations and bit him on his hand when Severus tried to hold him in place on the hospital bed.

Great, another scar, he thought darkly as he made his way to the health care to get some ointment. As he came back he ran into Shafiq, a dark-skinned older wizard who was also often called to take part in the experiments, who entered the health care looking even worse; he appeared to have misplaced half his ear since Severus had last seen him just a few minutes earlier.

"Lydia told us to take a break," Shafiq announced in a booming, casual voice, as though he wasn't just sprouting blood all over the floors (a worried-looking healer was already running towards him). "She had to call a few people from the Chamber of Love to help. This one was out of control." With a shake of his salt-and-pepper head, he let the healer lead him behind a nook surrounded by a white curtain.

Severus used the opportunity to sneak to the Arch, feeling in his gut a throbbing fear which reminded him that time was ticking, that every moment he spent with the Shells was a moment he should have used with the Arch. He slammed his books open angrily, and stared at the Arch with defiance in his eyes.

"Come on," he muttered, sending a spell which was supposed to reveal hidden runes jettisoning from his wand. "Show me!"

For a split second, the whispers increased in fervour, turned into loud shouting where he could just barely make out his own name before he closed his eyes and concentrated on pushing the sounds out of his head. He sat on the floor and pulled a book into his lap, trying to ignore the pull of the Arch, the whispers.

"Shut up," he muttered contemptuously when the rustling whispers did not quite cease. "Shut up, you crumbling piece of bloody rocks! Shut up and show me!"

He sent another spell at the Arch, and another string of curse words and general raging, which did not help turn the runes any more comprehensible. Behind him, there was a creaking sound. Severus turned to see Lydia standing at the top of the stairs, the door having just shut behind her. She raised her steel-coloured eyebrow. Severus lowered his wand and scrambled up from the floor.

"You're needed with the Shells - we've put him into a weaker body. The one we used will be disposed of," Lydia announced. She paused for a moment and gave him an odd look. "You do know you don't have to sit here reading the books? You could just as well be in the library. Why won't you do that if the Arch gives you trouble?"

Why not indeed? As Severus grudgingly followed Lydia back to the Shell room, he could not think of any good reason for his insistence to torture himself by spending any more time with the Arch than he had to. Except that in some twisted way, he felt drawn to it, even when he was out of the reach of its pull... he tried not to dwell on that realisation too closely. There was enough on his plate as it was.

When he came home, Lily was yet again in the sitting room reading the book on Patronuses. When she saw him, her eyes widened. She jumped up.

"What's happened to you?" she exclaimed. "Have you been in some accident?"

Severus frowned, then realised she had immediately spotted the bloodied gauze on his hand, under which the skin had become healed hours ago, but which he had forgotten to take off. Lily had already grabbed his hand and rolled the gauze off before Severus had had the time to tell her so. When Lily did not find an open would like she had expected, she cast a confused look up at Severus, who flushed.

"It's healed already," Severus said defensively. "I was... bitten."

"At work?" Lily sounded incredulous. "What do you do – train lions?" She let go of his hand and a mildly amused look spread on her face. "I hope it's not zombies – or should I put you in isolation for the night?"

"Don't be silly," Severus said, feeling a little embarrassed. "The Inferi don't bite people. Usually."

Lily cast him an even more amused look, before announcing that she had made tea. Severus followed her into the kitchen, where Lily pointed him to yet another letter addressed to him. He tore open the envelope to find a very formal and stiff note from Regulus, written on a heavy, expensive parchment bearing the Black family crest, thanking Severus for arranging him accommodation in his "pitiful and degenerate state unfit for a wizard of higher standing" and Severus guessed that his mother had, in the end, come to the knowledge of his true whereabouts for the evening, and that the letter in his hand had been penned under her watchful eye. Severus threw the letter into the ever-growing pile of old Daily Prophets, ads and letters on the windowsill and turned his attention back to Lily, who was digging plates and cutlery out of the cupboards, telling him about the book she had been reading; Severus nodded along but most of what she said went in from one ear and out from the other. Against the candle-lit backdrop of his kitchen, it was very hard not to get lost into a fluffy daydream where she was his wife.

But when they sat down to eat the fish curry Lily had prepared, her momentary light-heartedness seemed to vanish, and she chewed her rice with a worried look on her face.

"How are things at the Ministry?" She asked, before Severus could ask her what was wrong.

Severus avoided her gaze.

"I can't really talk about my work -"

"No, I mean the Ministry in general," Lily said. "The new Minister and all," she specified, when Severus did not show signs of understanding.

"Oh," Severus said. If he was being completely honest, he had nearly forgotten about the newly appointed Minister; the Arch, the Shells and Lily had seemed to consume all his brain power that week. He thought back. "Things seem... quite normal. I mean, people are mooching about the corridors, entrailed in gossip, of course... I haven't really paid attention to them, to be honest," he admitted.

"Have you read the Daily Prophets lately?"

"I've skimmed through the front page every morning," Severus said. "Er - there hasn't been anything about the Diagon Alley Killings, has there? I haven't noticed."

Lily shook her head, to his great relief.

"No," she said slowly. "Nothing new – the bounty still stands, of course. But that's not what's been bothering me." She leaned towards him. "Severus, have you read any of Crouch's interviews?"

"No," Severus said, mildly surprised. "I haven't found it necessary - since he's controlled by his son, his words don't mean anything. He's nothing but a puppet for the Dark Lord."

"But that's the thing," Lily said. She set aside her fork and stared at Severus oddly. "He's saying what You-Know-Who wants him to, isn't he? And what he's been telling is that there will be more Death Eater attacks. He's been making these predictions in every single interview, Sev."

Severus was quiet, digesting the news.

"So - do you know anything?" Lily demanded, staring at him with such a sudden, distrusting look in her eyes that Severus lost his appetite. "Have you heard something? Are you planning something?"

Severus pushed his plate away and avoided her penetrating green gaze.

"I'm not planning anything," he said rather icily. "And I haven't heard anything either."

Lily slumped against her backrest. She bit her lip and turned her gaze towards the candle between them. Severus got up from the table (she did not seem to notice, which irked him oddly) and went to get two glasses and wine from one of the cupboards. Lily still did not look up from the candle when he thrust a glass of wine in front of her, but when he sat back down she raised her gaze.

"It just doesn't make sense," she said, frowning. "They spent all those months hushing up all those disappearances and deaths last winter and spring, all those horrible things you people did -"

"I had nothing to do with any of it," Severus muttered in an undertone, sipping his wine.

" - And now he's basically scaring people out of their wits, promising more attacks? I mean, wouldn't it make more sense for Crouch to pretend that now that he's in charge, people are safe? That he'll put a stop to the Death Eaters - give people what they want? Instead of scaremongering people to death..."

Severus pondered at her words for a good while. Lily was staring at him over the candle, an expectant look on her face, clearly waiting for him to make sense of it. She was, perhaps subconsciously, leaning towards him again.

"But I suppose he can't just deny that the Death Eaters are a threat," Severus finally said. "I mean, the former Minister was tried on grounds of covering up acts of terrorism. Suppose Crouch simply pretended the threat is gone – people would become suspicious he's doing the same."

Lily stared at him over the flickering flame, and he met her gaze calmly. Outside, it was still raining, and the house was enveloped in its steady drumming.

"Yeah," Lily said finally. She slumped back against the backrest of the chair and took a sip of her wine. "I suppose you're right."

But she did not sound entirely convinced.

""

Friday dawned damp and chilly. Severus was up before the sky had turned white, determined to steal some time with the Arch before he had to go to the Shell room again.

But this plan backfired, because as Severus was making his way through the Spin, he was cornered by Rookwood, who chummily wrapped his beefy arm around Severus's shoulder and got into his head to drag him to his office for some sort of a performance assessment ("since we're both early and have the time!"), and Severus found himself spending the next hour replying to inane questions regarding his plans for the future and the course of his career, and whether he was seeking any promotion opportunities in the near future. All the while Rookwood went through his list of questions, Severus sat in his seat and sizzled. He wanted to yell at the man that should these idiotic questions continue much longer he would not have the time to apply for any promotions, seeing as how he would be murdered before the year came to an end. He even wondered whether Rookwood knew this – whether that was the reason the man leisurely slurped at his coffee between questions and cast odd, knowing glances at Severus, who stared back at him expressionlessly, loathing the man with all his heart.

When Rookwood finally set his quill and notebook aside and told Severus he was free to go, it was already nine o'clock, and with an air of disgruntlement and mutiny, Severus trudged straight to the Shell room, where his mood sunk even lower as he was assigned the questionable honour of being the one using the Crucio on the the first Shell of the day; a female, convicted 22 years earlier for a double murder. His wand hand wavered when the woman started trashing against her hospital bed and pleading for mercy.

"That pleading did not hold in court, did it?" Lydia said, smirking dryly and peering into the chart with the woman's information. "Says here you were tried for killing your husband and your child... oh, yes – you slit your daughter's throat, then pushed your husband down the stairs. What was it – a fit of jealousy?" She set the chart aside and stared at the woman, not a hint of empathy in her steely eyes. "Perhaps 22 years hasn't been enough time to think about that particular deed, but I can assure you, perhaps in another 22, or 50, or a hundred years you will come to the conclusion that you actually deserve to be here."

"Nobody deserves this," the woman said, tears glinting in the corners of her eyes. "Nobody deserves an eternity of this!"

"The court quite clearly disagrees with you," Lydia said lightly. "Shafiq – can you compare the average shelf life with such an unusually long pain tolerance? Maybe we should check whether she can still control a body enough to walk..."

Having lost Lydia's attention, the woman turned to look pleadingly at Severus.

"I didn't do what they said I did," she croaked. "You must believe me. I didn't kill her."

Severus stared at the woman without saying a word.

"My husband and I had an argument," the woman pleaded. "He was drunk - violent. I left, and when I came back, he had – he had..." she closed her eyes and grimaced painfully. "He had killed her! My daughter! She was there, in her bed... and I just, I just... pushed him. Off the stairs... oh God..." she squeezed her face in a grimace, and tears fell from her eyes and onto the thin blanket. "If I could just have her back..."

"That's enough," Lydia said sharply. "Severus, help her up, we'll check whether she can still walk... then I think we ought to test her pain tolerance again, just to double check..." she sounded as though she was quite looking forwards to that part.

Severus finally stalked out of the Shell room at the end of the day, feeling oddly disgusted with himself, and unable to forget the woman's pleading cries as he had Crucio'd her. He wished he could just go home and see Lily – vague thoughts of watching the telly with her, or just talking, or anything that might take his mind off things bounced in his mind – but instead he slipped into the next chamber, where the Arch awaited, and with a sigh, rolled up his sleeves. It was Friday, after all. A whole weekend would pass before he would have the time to try again.

But Severus's head was hurting and he was tired, and he knew his labour was useless even before starting, and it did not surprise him when the Arch did not divulge him its secrets that evening. At the end of the evening he was so frustrated that he actually chucked an old dog-eared opus though the veil in a desperate attempt to see what happens when something goes through it. As expected, the book did not jump back out, smelling of fresh ink and wrapped in brand new leather, but instead Severus just found himself one library book short and none the wiser. On his way out he kicked a pile of books so forcefully that several bindings fell apart.

It was raining in Cokeworth again. Severus had Apparated straight to the mudroom, but the sound of the the windows clattering in their frames suggested a storm had begun to assault the town in his absence. He sneered as he remembered the Muggle weather forecaster's optimistic predictions from last weekend, according to which the rain would have ended on Tuesday. The house was, once again, dark and deserted, and the door to Lily's bedroom was firmly shut, much to his disappointment. Severus hovered behind her door for some time, pressing his forehead against the cool wood, and imagined her sleeping in his bed. She had naturally not invited him to sleep next to her since that early morning after Bellatrix's visit, and Severus gloomily thought that he would almost welcome another visit from her if it meant another invitation to Lily's bed.

Feeling a throbbing, hollow longing inside him, Severus went to draw himself a bath, where he floated with his eyes closed in semi-darkness, his head against the cool porcelain side of the tub, and imagined Lily in his arms on the sofa, except this time the bloody salesperson didn't come ringing the doorbell... he imagined what Lily might look like bent over the sofa, her swollen pussy dripping eagerly, widening her thighs for him, just for him... how her supple breast would feel like in his hand, what her whimper might sound like when he pushed into her wet, tight depths, whether she would she arch her back and cry and tremble uncontrollably around his girth when she came...

Severus was shaken out of his lustful fantasies when he suddenly heard movement behind the door; Lily had come out of her room. He froze, guilt flooding him, but did not have long to dwell on the feeling before he realised it sounded like Lily was talking with someone, in a low, hushed voice. Momentarily very worried, Severus straightened himself and was just about to get up from the lukewarm water, when he heard the soft hooting of the owl, and relaxed back against the tub, realising it was just him Lily had been speaking to. The door to Lily's room closed again, and a moment later Severus heard her slide the window open in her room. Then it slid back shut again, and it was quiet.

The sudden reminder that Lily was in the next room, and by all appearances thoroughly uninterested in acting out his sexual fantasies, killed his arousal, and so Severus, after washing himself, climbed out of the tub, pulling a bathrobe around himself. Sexual frustration was scorching him almost as badly as his disappointment with the Arch, and he absent-mindedly wondered how he had ever managed all his horny teenage years as Lily's friend.

As he brushed his teeth he saw his blurred, bleary-eyed reflection in the fogged mirror and turned his gaze away.

""

The rain finally ceased that night, and Severus woke up to bright rays of morning sun landing on his face. He had slept through the night as though in a coma, and was surprised to realise it was already ten o'clock. He stretched, feeling groggy from the abnormally long stretch of sleep, then headed downstairs.

The house looked even more worn out than usual because Lily had at some point of the week pulled back all the curtains, perhaps tired of the constant dim dustiness of the house. Bright light now fell over the faded wallpaper and dark décor, and did not exactly improve the impression – Severus found his mood sinking as he assessed his grim dwellings. Despite the sun, it was still the coldest morning of the autumn so far, and the freezing temperature was unheard of for late September, and so the first thing he did was set up a blazing fire into the sitting room fireplace, feeling just slightly better in its homey warmth. He felt quite nervous as he pondered at the two full days alone with Lily stretching ahead.

Deciding to go to the shop before Lily woke up, Severus went to change into Muggle clothes and then headed to the mudroom. He was just about to reach for the wardrobe door for a coat, when he heard steps from behind himself, and turned to see Lily in the doorway. She was clad in the light blue dressing gown again, and her red hair was falling messily over her breasts. Severus flushed and averted his gaze, vividly reminded of his last night's fantasies.

"Morning," Lily said. "Where are you going? You don't work on Saturdays, do you? Wait... it is Saturday, isn't it?" She scrunched her face, looking as though she was doubting herself.

"It is," Severus confirmed quietly. He turned back towards the wardrobe. "I'm just going to the shop to get some more supplies. Do you need anything in particular?"

"No," said Lily.

Severus pulled the wardrobe door open. He felt Lily's presence behind himself, as though she was emanating some sort of magnetism equivalent to the Arch's pull, and busied himself with rummaging through the contents of the wardrobe. A Muggle coat today, he thought, eyeing the lines of dark fabric hanging inside. The vision of Lily bent over the sofa flashed in his mind's eye again.

"I'm going to see James today," Lily said behind him. "At four."

Severus's fingers froze around the hanger.

"I got a letter from him last night. About time, too, I was so worried when I didn't hear back from them..."

The coat slipped from the hanger and crumpled on the floor of the wardrobe. Severus's heart had seemed to stop in his chest, but now it jump-started, pumping his veins full of adrenaline within seconds. He suddenly experienced a strange feeling, the same sort he had experienced when he had watched Lily snog Potter in the Great Hall all those months ago; as though he knew where they were heading, what would now happen, inevitably...

"I see," he said softly, fresh jealousy seething inside him like bitter poison. "And do you think that's... safe?"

"Dumbledore has vetted them both – him and Remus, I mean," Lily said."And James sent me arrival instructions directly to his new house. It's a cool spell really, there's this photograph of the house, and I'll just have to tap -"

"And where shall I look for you if you don't come back?" Severus interrupted without giving a toss about any cool spells of Potter's. He yanked the coat out of the wardrobe and slammed the door shut so forcefully it jumped back open. Lily went quiet. The thought of all the spare houses James Potter owned and had the audacity to invite Lily into made Severus's blood boil, but he coerced his voice to stay under control as he continued in silky voice, "I mean - from which cemetery?"

"I will be fine," Lily said in a slightly warning sort of tone which Severus had no trouble ignoring. "You're not responsible for my safety, Severus. I can take care of myself. And besides, they won't let anything happen to me."

"Funny, but I was under the impression that I am responsible for your safety," Severus said, pushing the wardrobe door shut again and turning to face her. "I thought that was the whole point of you being here? So do you really expect me to just let you go without knowing what is happening to you and how to reach you? With a wand you can barely use?"

His voice was no longer quite a silky as he had hoped.

"'Let me go?'" Lily repeated in a stunned voice. She frowned. "For God's sake, Severus, you're not my father! I get that you're worried, but unless you go and tell the Death Eaters where to find me, I doubt they'll ever find me where I'm going!"

"He's a werewolf!" Severus snapped, clutching at the only thing that might stop her, feeling his face heat up. "Lupin. I know it for a fact – it wasn't just some random thought I had in my head when we were at school. I saw it – it was him in the Shrieking Shack, that evening Black coaxed me into going there! I just couldn't tell you about it because I might have gotten expelled if the word got out. Surely you agree that it's not wise to trust someone like him?"

Lily bit her lip.

"I know he is a werewolf," Lily said unhappily. "But he's not like most of them! He's not the way we were taught in Defence Against the Dark Arts, Severus. He doesn't have any reason to give away my location to You-Know-Who -"

"You are joking," Severus said. He closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them again. When he spoke again, he tried very hard to sound reasonable. "There are 10 000 Galleons worth of reasons for him to blow the whistle, Lily! You're risking too much. It's not worth it, just getting your wand back. Just use an owl and get it delivered!"

He didn't really care about Lupin, nor did he in his heart of hearts believe Lupin to be a traitor. As much as Severus disliked him, it was Potter he cared about – or rather, he cared about where a rendez-vous with him might lead. He already saw, with his mind's eye, Lily falling into Potter's arms... Potter's jeers in his nightmare rung in his head...

"Remus is not like Peter. And I won't trust my wand on some owl – least of all on ours, he's not even trained!" Lily sounded scandalised at the mere suggestion. "And besides, it's not just about the wand. I want to see them."

"You mean you want to see him!"

The words had slipped out of Severus's mouth without any conscious decision.

From her eyes Severus knew Lily had understood he was no longer talking about Lupin. A silence fell over the mudroom. They faced each other tensely. Severus felt embarrassment over his uncontrollable emotional outburst, but his anger triumphed over it. His hands had curled into fists.

Lily eyed him carefully, then seemed to decide that he was uncomfortably close and took a step back from him, to the other side of the threshold. She crossed her arms defensively.

"What's this all of a sudden?" Lily asked quietly. "You seem really aggressive, Severus, and I don't like it one bit. If you mean to intimidate me, you can save your effort, because I'm not afraid of you - and I'm going either way."

Severus pursed his lips even tighter, but relaxed his stance and uncurled his fists in an attempt to seem calmer than he was.

"I'm not trying to intimidate you, Lily - I'm sorry if I gave you that impression. But you're not safe if you go," he said, willing to calm his voice, though he couldn't help his lip from curling in distaste. "No matter how many friendly little werewolves are awaiting you there – it's still not safe."

"But Remus and the rest is not the real problem, is it?" Lily pointed out, seeing through his bluff. "You just don't want me to see James, is that it?"

"Precisely," Severus spat.

Then he snapped his mouth shut again.

Lily paused, clearly having expected him to deny it; he had, too. Severus flushed violently. And as he glared at her, he suddenly saw her cheeks flush too. She wrapped her arms around herself again and stared somewhere a little over Severus's shoulder, an uneasy expression on her face.

"Why?" She whispered.

Severus turned his eyes to the worn rug between them and didn't reply. What the hell could he say? That he was madly jealous? That he was afraid she'd choose to remain in the comforts of Potter's undoubtedly nice house instead of returning to the dilapidated house of his parents? That the very idea of her anywhere near Potter made his stomach squirm, as though a pile of poisonous serpents were writhing within him? That the thought of the two of them together was utterly sickening?

"I told you I was going to see them - last weekend, remember?" Lily said finally when the silence had stretched and he hadn't spoken a word. "I didn't get the impression that you were this against it then."

"Well, I happen to think it's an astonishingly bad idea! I just didn't say so before because I didn't realise you intended to go behind my back and write -" Severus started angrily, his head snapping back up.

"'Go behind your back?'" Lily repeated in astonishment, silencing Severus, who settled on just glaring at her darkly. "Just listen to yourself, Severus! Who do you think you are? You're not my father, but you're not my bloody husband either!"

Severus snapped his mouth shut so forcibly his teeth audibly clanged together.

"Fine," he snapped coldly. "Since we have successfully established that I am neither your father nor your husband and thus according to you I have no right to be concerned for your well-being, I can only wish that the next time I see you it won't be in some dank dungeon where the other Death Eaters will without a doubt throw you if you are caught – before killing you, that is. I hope you won't expect me to come and save you from there."

"I don't need you to save me, Severus Snape!" Lily scoffed condescendingly.

"That's surprising to hear - considering your track record of being utterly useless when it comes to it!" Severus said just as condescendingly, and felt dark satisfaction at seeing the hurt on Lily's face, which soon turned back into anger. He straightened himself and stared down on Lily over his nose. "But suit yourself – be stubborn. And don't blame me if you get yourself killed - I won't stand in the way of your foolishness."

"Fine, I won't!" Lily hissed angrily, red spots on her cheeks. "Thanks for the permission, dad."

"Fine!" Severus barked, his blood roaring. He made a dismissive gesture. "Go on, then! What are you still waiting for? Go see your stupid little boyfriend!"

Lily nodded angrily. She turned on her heel and vanished from view.

Severus was seething in jealousy and rage. He wanted to shout after Lily, to yell at her to get out of his house and shack back up with Potter if she loved him so fucking much, but in his frustration settled on just grabbing the nearest thing that happened in his hand from the hat stand behind him – his mother's old scarf - and hurling it across the room, where it unsatisfyingly leisurely fluttered on the floor without as much as making a sound.

But after the ends of Lily's long, red hair had disappeared from view, Severus's anger quickly subsided and he was suddenly gripped with an intense fear instead. What was he doing? Was he trying to get rid of her?

He strode after her, nearly slipping on the scarf – he ran across the hall, up the stairs to stairs at a time, and reached Lily at the top of the stairs. He grabbed her wrist. Lily jumped and whirled around, her green eyes wide, the arm Severus clutching tense.

"I'm sorry," Severus panted, loosening his hold ever so slightly. "I'm sorry for snapping at you. I'm just freaking out over... over everything that could happen if you leave. I couldn't take it if... if something happened. I'm sorry, ok? "

He didn't let go of her hand. Lily paused and swung on her heel, looking like she was teetering between anger and uncertainty. She finally leaned against the wall and sighed.

"Severus... you don't have to worry about my safety. I trust James, and I trust Remus. Nothing's going to happen - I'll be back here by six tonight. It's just a couple of hours, that's all. All right?"

"Can you promise me?" Severus demanded greedily, tightening his hold on her. "Will you promise me that you'll be back by then? So that I won't have to think... so that I won't worry..."

Lily stared at him, with those beautiful green eyes of hers.

"Of course," she said quietly. "Of course I promise. Nothing's going to happen."

Severus certainly hoped so. He hoped nothing would happen; no attacks, no betrayals - and no intimate moments between two old reunited lovers. Jealousy still fluttered inside him like a swarm of bloodthirsty bats gnawing at his heart.

"Will you let me cast the tracing spell back on you?" he asked impulsively. "So that I'll know you're all right -"

Lily pursed her lips.

"No," she said. "I'm sorry, Severus – but no. That's a violation of my privacy."

She withdrew her hand from his and tightened the dressing gown around herself.

"But -"

"No buts, Severus," she said sternly. "You can't demand that from me - I have next to nothing of my own left, and I won't have my privacy taken away from me too. I will be fine," she added after a pause in a slightly gentler voice, apparently trying to soften the blow. "You're just going to have to trust me. All right?"

Severus stared at her. Lily wasn't wearing anything underneath the dressing gown, Severus's mind registered hazily. She was oozing soft intriguing promises and sex and if Potter got his hands on her he would never let go. If Severus let her go now, he would never see her again. So how could he trust her? If she came back, it would only be to pack her bags.

"Six o'clock," Lily said again. She disentangled her hand from his clutches and hugged herself. "All right? Six o'clock."

She nodded reassuring to him, flashed him something resembling a smile. Then she turned on her heel and Severus flinched when the door to her room closed between them.

A cold, terrible feeling had settled inside him. He heard how in her room, Lily was moving around, perhaps dressing up, preparing herself for her meeting with Potter. He imagined dully the dressing gown slipping from her shoulders.

Unable to bear it, Severus turned and strode back down the stairs. The front door slammed closed behind him, but he was already gone, the gate of the yard groaning behind him.