Lover's Rock

Part V

He's been gone for six months and it's cold again. There are Christmas lights strung up around restaurant windows, and freshmen running around drunk wearing felt antlers, and he's heard Jingle Bell Rock ten times. Friday nights in New Haven aren't so different to Friday nights in London.

He's supposed to meet Colin and Finn for drinks, but first he goes to her apartment. He doesn't know why. He gave his key back eight months ago, and he left nothing behind, and he sure as hell isn't pining. He's gone on dates. He's had a bunch of one-night stands. He may not have a girlfriend but that doesn't mean anything; he doesn't want her back. And yet here he is, standing across the street. There's a tiny Christmas tree in her bedroom window.

"April, get the lead out!"

Suddenly she's on the sidewalk, all bundled up and dragging a suitcase towards a beat-up car. There's a man standing next to her wearing the beginnings of a beard. Logan thinks he met him, once.

"She's got the presents," Rory says, and his mouth goes dry.

"Nothing's breakable," the man says. "Except me, which your grandmother will use to her advantage if we're late."

"Jess."

"She'll have the maid bury me by the pool house."

"And ruin her roses?"

Jess takes the bag, stuffing it in the trunk and closing the lid. He touches her hair, curling it around her ear. When she smiles, it's impossibly bright.

"I can't believe they're getting married," she says. "In the snow! That's just so mom!"

"You do know this makes us cousins, right?"

She laughs. "You got a purtty mouth."

"Aw, jeez."

He kisses her, cradling her jaw in his hand and rubbing his thumb across the apple of her cheek. She makes a sighing, happy sound and Logan wonders if she is. She looks it, standing on tiptoe with her red cheeks and her fingers tickling Jess' arms, and he discovers that he's happy for her. He may have missed her so much that the scent of Dove soap made him ache, but he doesn't begrudge her happiness even if she doesn't find it with him. She deserves it, and he now knows, so does he. He's not sure if he believes in fate, but maybe this was meant to happen.

"Oh, gross!" a high voice says, a girl in glasses and an ugly yarn hat.

They separate slowly. "Sorry, April," Rory hums.

"I'm not sorry," Jess says.

"This family is so weird." April shoves two bulky plastic bags in the back seat, adjusting her mittens and leaning against the open door. "I tried explaining it to Freddy and he thought we should be studied. I've been reading a lot about sociology, and I might do that for the next science fair."

Jess snorts. "A truly modern American family."

"As American as apple pie," Rory says, "or Twinkies."

They pile in the car, the engine catching for a second before it starts and John Lennon hiccupping through the thin windows before Rory settles on a festive song, and then they drive off.

Logan will see her name, he is certain, beside articles and book reviews and on a single collection of short stories. He will see her grandmother at a party and hear that she moved to Philadelphia. He will listen to his mother complain about the engagement announcement Emily wrangled in to the society pages, the picture of the happy couple in ripped jeans and concert tees. He will stand across a ballroom as Richard shows off pictures of his great-grandchildren. But he will never see her again.

He lost her, and for the first time he knows that's okay.

Author's Note:

This is the end! I want to thank everyone who took the time to read and review, it really means a lot. I also want to thank LEJ418 for inspiring me to extend this piece, and Sirhith for inspiring me to post it in the first place. I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday, whatever you celebrate!