HERE IT IS. THE END. The FINAL chapter. *sobs uncontrollably in the dark corner with lots of ice cream, rereading all your beautiful reviews. * (my life)

I AM SO UNBELIEVABLY SORRY THAT THIS HAS TAKEN SO LONG FOR ME TO WRITE, but to be honest, i was putting it off because I really, really, really, didn't want it to end. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Thank you guys so much for your love and reviews and just everything! You have been such support when I was writing this, and I'm sorry i took so long, but here it is. The final chapter. Enjoy! :) Please leave a review, guys, 'cuz Starla is really, really, really, REALLY, going to miss you guys. and i will too. XOXO

DISCLAIMER: These characters and the show unfortunately do not belong to me. I'm just playing around with them.

Flashback - Central City, 2002

"Barry!" Joe shouted. No response. He cupped his hands over his mouth and shouted again. "BARRY!" The house rattled at his thunderous voice as the detective yelled up the stairs to his twelve-year-old foster son. The door opened in the hallway and a small head popped around the edge.

"What?" Barry asked harshly, but apologized quietly at the pointed look Joe gave.

"Get your skinny butt down here, right now." Joe said tensely. Barry groaned and stood, slamming his bedroom door loudly in protest. He dragged his feet down the hallway and stomped his way down the stairs, finally making his way to the living room after his purposely long trek to where Joe stood. Barry was in the beginnings of what looked to be a very moody tantrum. He slumped onto the couch and crossed his arms stubbornly.

"What?" Joe pursed his lips and flared his nostrils, seething.

"Why is it," He said slowly, "that I got a call today, from your school's principal, telling me that my son was fighting with two boys, in front of the entire school?!" Barry's face flushed red with anger and he clenched his stubborn little jaw.

"He said that my dad killed my mother. He didn't!" Barry declared. Joe sighed and rubbed his hands over his face.

"Barry." He said wearily. The 12-year-old jumped up and ran behind the couch.

"I know what I saw!" He shouted angrily.

"Barry, you saw your father stab and kill you mother! There was no lightning there that night and there was no man inside the lightning! You saw your father kill your mother, Barry! Nothing else!" Joe shouted. Barry was shaking with rage, clearly upset.

"No! He didn't do it!" Barry shouted, turning and running up the stairs, Joe running after him. At the top, he turned around and screamed at the top of his lungs. "I'M NOT CRAZY!" At that, Barry ran into his room and slammed the door shut. Joe huffed angrily, but didn't pursue Barry, letting him stew in his room, and he instead went to the kitchen to start dinner. He was throwing dishes around in the sink and cleaning up the mess he'd made for dinner when he heard a quiet, "Dad?", from behind him. He turned to see Iris standing in the doorway, seemingly hiding behind the arch.

"What is it, baby?" He asked, setting a plate down and walking towards the doorway to talk to her. She inched forward, apparently nervous about what she was about to ask.

"Is Barry...dangerous?" The 13-year-old asked, though she looked like a small timid six year old to Joe.

"What?" Joe spluttered. "Of course not! Iris, why would you say something like that?" Iris shrunk back in guilt.

"Today, in school, Barry got into a fight with Tony Woodward. He called Barry crazy and said that Barry's a murderer, like his dad." Iris confessed. Joe blanched, blinking slowly.

How was he supposed to respond to something like this? He swallowed thickly and answered.

"Iris, you know that Barry isn't crazy or dangerous. He went through something traumatic and lost his family. Yes, he may go to therapists, but that doesn't make him crazy. I don't wanna hear any of this crazy talk anymore, you understand?" Iris nodded slowly.

"But, you don't think he'd ever hurt anyone, do you? Like his dad?" She said quietly. Joe turned back to the dishes and scoffed.

"Sweetheart, Barry has one of the kindest souls I've ever seen. He's got a passion for science, not vengeance. We've got nothing to worry about. He'd never hurt anyone, ever." Joe laughed at the idea. Little Barry? Grown up to be a murderer? Not in my house, that's for sure. Not while I'm raising him as my son. He'll be a hero.

"Barry, dinner!"

Adams fell backwards, three bullets buried in his chest.

He was dead.

Barry had killed him.

Barry approached Adams' body. He raised the gun and fired. Again and again and again, until the cartridge was empty. But he didn't stop after that, no, he continued to pull the trigger, firing nothing at the mutilated corpse.

"Barry." Joe whispered softly, his voice thick. He was horrified, to say the least. Not so much at Barry, but at what Adams had done to his son to drive him to do something like this. The expression on Barry's face, it was pure hatred. It was unsettling to be seen on the normally chipper CSI. Barry finally lowered the gun and turned to face the group. Joe desperately searched Barry's face for any signs of regret or remorse. There were none. His gaze hardened and without another word, Barry turned and ran. Cisco let out a shuddering sob, having just watched his best friend brutally murder someone, and Eddie dropped his head into his hands. Unsure of what else to do, they returned to STAR Labs, without Barry. Iris met them at the door, distraught.

"Where is he? Where's Barry?" She asked desperately. Joe just shook his head sorrowfully and made his way to the Cortex, where Caitlin and Felicity stood in shock after witnessing, via Cisco and Oliver's comms link, Barry murder Michael Adams. Eddie and Oliver rolled Adams' body into the Cortex on a gurney, to have his body taken care of and disposed of carefully and respectfully. Nobody spoke. They just sat in shock. After a few moments of silence, Caitlin stood to go take care of the body. She pulled bullet after bullet out of the dead man's chest, each tugging at the mangled flesh. By the end, she had a small jar full of bloody bullets, and each time she looked at it, or dropped yet another bullet into it, her stomach rolled. When she finished, Oliver and Eddie took the body away to be buried somewhere. After all, his only family was his sister, and she was killed, so there was no one to collect his body. They returned to a somber group of people. Cisco spoke first.

"What do we do now?" He asked. Nobody knew. Dr. Wells took charge and insisted everyone go home and get some rest.

"Not happening." Joe argued, barely beating Iris to protest. "Not while my son's still out there."

"Barry will come back when he's ready. But you won't be able to find him." Joe shook his head wearily, but he knew Wells was right. "He'll come home when he's ready to." With that final thought, everyone returned to their home, Felicity and Oliver were staying with Joe while in Central City, and prepared for the next day. They all went to sleep with the same awful thought.

"Barry, what have you done?"

"What have I done?" Barry asked himself miserably. He sat on a stool at some empty bar, silently wishing he was able to feel the alcohol. He'd already had enough drinks to incapacitate any normal person, but he was sober as a stone. It was a curse, really. He lifted the glass and swallowed the rest of the drink, before setting it down harshly. Barry pulled his wallet out and threw a couple hundred dollars on the counter, where the bartender scooped them up, and after reaching behind the bar counter to grab a full bottle, Barry walked out of the empty bar.

He stumbled around the back alleys of Central City in a stupor, exhaustion pulling at the edges of his consciousness. He came to a stop in the back alley behind Central City Picture News, and there he slid to the ground against the garbage dumpster behind the building. He popped the lid of the bottle and took a large swig from the drink, before swallowing thickly. He laid on the wet ground with his back against the wall and his arm draped across his raised knee, the other leg laying out in front of him. Barry leaned his head backwards against the metal wall and sighed heavily. He must've dozed off, because suddenly, Barry jerked awake and was flinching away from the bright light in his face.

"Mr. Allen?" The harsh light was taken away, and after slowly adjusting to the dark lighting of the alleyway, Barry found himself looking up at a very confused Captain. He shot upwards in realization and nearly knocked over the Captain in his flustered rush.

"Captain, sir! I was just - it's not-what are you - this isn't uh - I wasn't... I'm not, I swear a-and I was just, uh, I... don't have an explanation." Barry tripped over his words in a desperate attempt to explain himself, but he resigned to no answer defeatedly. Captain Singh stared at him for a few moments before sighing heavily.

"Are you okay, Allen?" He asked with genuine concern in his voice. Barry sighed and after leaning back against the wall, he slid to the ground again. To Barry's utter surprise, the Captain joined him. Singh held his hand out expectantly, and it took Barry a few moments to understand he was motioning for the bottle of alcohol by his side. He thrust it into the Captains' waiting hands and he took a large gulp from the bottle before handing it back to Barry, who took it back warily.

"Well?" Singh asked. Barry dropped his head and sighed.

"No. I'm not okay." He said simply. "I screwed up, I let my emotions cloud my judgement, and because of it, I hurt someone. I-" Barry's voice cracked with raw emotion and he drank desperately. But nothing could numb his pain, his anger, his regret, and in frustration, Barry threw the bottle at the wall opposite him. It shattered against the side of the building and the Captain visibly flinched, but he remained silent. After a few more minutes of silence, Barry muttered a soft apology and hung his head in shame. I shouldn't have lost my temper, not in front of the Captain. I don't want to hurt him, too.

"It's alright, Allen." Singh said. "We all make mistakes." Barry shook his head.

"No, this wasn't like that. Part of me regrets it, part of me wishes I could take it back, but the bigger part of me...doesn't. And that's what scares me."

I really am a murderer, now. Lily was an accident, but I murdered her brother in cold blood. I'm a killer.

The Captain placed his hand in Barry's shoulder, awkwardly trying to convey some sort of comfort to the tortured CSI. Barry didn't shrug it off, but after a few more minutes of uncomfortable silence, Singh removed his hand and stood up.

"Go home, Allen." He ordered. "I'm sure your family's missing you." I doubt it. Seeing the CSI upset was unnatural to the Captain, he was normally a very bright person. But, being held captive and tortured for three weeks will do that to a person.

"Hey, Allen." Singh called. Barry lifted his head from his chest to stare up at his boss. "Whatever it is you did, I'm sure your family will forgive you. Go home to them, okay?" Barry sighed and stood. The Captain walked back to the front of Central City Picture News, where his car was parked, Barry trailing behind him, awkwardly. "Do you need a ride?" Singh asked. Barry chuckled to himself and shook his head.

"No, I'm good, I'll just walk." The Captain got in his car. "Hey, what were you doing at Picture News when you found me?" Barry asked curiously.

"Got a call about some drunk passed out in the back alley." He said simply, and with that, he drove away, leaving Barry and his blushing cheeks to walk home alone. Instead of rushing straight home, Barry wandered through the streets of Central City for a few hours. He was reluctant to return home, even after what the Captain said.

What if they can't forgive me? Will they even trust me anymore?

Too ashamed to face his friends and family, Barry went back to his lab and pulled out the mini couch he had stored there, but didn't use it. He buried himself in his work load, the cases piling up during his three-week absence. Sometime around 3:00, Barry finally laid down and went to bed, but he woke up a little before 6:00, and after tossing and turning for another half hour, trying to get back to sleep, Barry got up and returned to his work. He finished around 7:00, and after telling the Captain he was taking the day off, Barry left work before Joe could come in at 8:00.

He wandered the city for a long time, unable to bring himself to talk to his family. His cellphone rang and the phone showed him it was Iris calling. Instead of answering, Barry let it ring. It wasn't until he stopped a purse thief from stealing a young woman's bag did Barry finally decide to face his family. He ran to STAR Labs and sped into the Cortex, unsure of what he would find.

It was empty.

No Caitlin or Dr. Wells sat at the computers, no Cisco tampering with Barry's suit, no Joe informing the team of a new metahuman. No one. He was alone.

The full weight of what he'd done slammed into Barry like boulder, the force of guilt enough to knock him to his knees. Barry collapsed in the empty room, hyperventilating breaths and tears streaming down his face. He couldn't breathe, couldn't move, could do nothing but sob uncontrollably to the silent room. He clamped his eyes shut and tried to calm his breathing, but only panicked more when he saw Adams' face in his mind, blood covering his body after what Barry did to him. The guilt was eating him alive, the horror of what he'd done leaving a painful tightness in Barry's chest. A guttural sob wrenched from his throat and he fell on his back, just staring up at the ceiling and letting his thoughts consume him.

I'm a monster, a murderer, I'm dangerous. And that's what scared him. He was a danger to people. Not a hero, something to be feared. The look on Cisco's face when Barry pulled the trigger, it was fear. Cisco was his closest friend, and he was scared of him. What have I done? Barry pulled himself up on his knees, letting the back of his legs rest on his heels, when he heard someone approaching. Wait, more than one person. He could hear distinctive voices; it sounded like Caitlin and Cisco. Oliver too? Felicity's soft laugh roused Barry from his thoughts, but he did nothing to pull himself to his feet, instead content with sitting on the floor until they found him. His breathing had slowed considerably, but his pulse was still racing, his chest ached, and he could nothing to stop the tears running down his face.

"Barry?" Felicity's quiet voice spoke, and he only lowered his head in response. He stared ahead, at the bottom of the computer desks, rather than meet his friends' gazes. He heard soft heels clicking and then Felicity was kneeling in front of him, eyes searching his face. He refused to look her in the eye. She got down on her knees and took his face in her hands, forcing his gaze upwards to hers. He met her eyes, and in that brief moment, Barry searched her eyes for any hint of how she was feeling. To his utter surprise, he saw no fear, no horror, no disgust in her soft gaze, only quiet understanding and acceptance.

"Oh, Barry." Felicity whispered. Tears filled his eyes and he broke down.

"What have I done?" He asked, voice breaking with raw emotion, and Barry let his head fall forward into Felicity's embrace. She held him as he cried, as he tugged desperately at her hands, never judging him once, only being there for him. Barry didn't even notice when Caitlin and Oliver joined them on the floor, or when Cisco put his hands on Barry's shoulders in support, all four friends sitting in a small circle surrounding Barry, holding onto him just as desperately as he was holding onto them. It felt like hours passed before Barry lifted his head from its place against Felicity's chest. He met her watery gaze and she smiled softly.

"Thanks." He whispered quietly, cheeks suddenly flushing red at the intimacy with everyone. They all stood up at Barry's discomfort, and after they converged on him in a tight group hug once more, Barry disentangled himself from their embrace and stepped back.

"I-" He started, voice breaking slightly. He cleared his throat and tried again. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He apologized. Oliver stepped forward and pulled him into a tight hug.

"I'm not going to say it's okay, Barry," He whispered, "because it isn't." Barry's heart sank and the guilt began to resurface. "But, we all forgive you, Barr." Wait, what? Barry pulled away from him and stepped back.

"H-how? How can you say that, after what I did!" Barry asked.

"Because, we believe in you." Cisco said. "We know you're a hero." Barry blinked at him, sputtering at them all.

"B-but, I'm a murderer, I-I killed him." Caitlin stepped forward.

"Barry, we know you regret it. We know you feel guilty, but that-that is exactly what proves you're not a monster. We've all forgiven you, Joe, Eddie, Iris. All of us. You just need to find it in you to forgive yourself." She smiled at his confused expression.

"Barry." Felicity said. He looked at her and saw the acceptance in her eyes, and for the first time since everything happened, he could see a future where everything worked out. The past few months had felt so bleak and hopeless, like things would never get back to normal.

He'd gone from hating himself to hating Adams, flipping back and forth so many times, until his life felt completely upside down. Nothing felt right, but now, now he felt hope.

Hope that things could return to normal, hope that everything would be okay, hope that he would be worthy to wear the suit again. Barry looked around his group of friends, his family, really, and he finally felt ready to move on. To let this chapter of his life end and put this horrible ordeal behind himself, to finally move on with the story.

He was ready.

AND THAT'S A WRAP! thank you, so much everybody, for your support and reviews! I had so much fun writing this fanfiction, it's the first thing I've ever actually put effort into, so thank you. I hope you enjoyed this story as much as I did, so please leave a review, or any ideas for me to write more fanfics, whether it's Flash, or Once Upon a Time, Doctor Who, whatever you want. Thank you so much, I love you! :) XOXOXOXOXO 3