Author's note:

Finally came around to finishing this one! Yes, it's the last chapter.

Some of you probably watch(ed) The 100, too, so you probably know what happened recently. Those events sort of have me writing again, because I don't know what to do with all my feels. In fact, I feel like I'm groundhog day'ed in the 5 stages of grieve right now. #sendhelp #incoming1OOfic

Anyway! Enjoy the last chapter and yeys for Carmilla S3 :)

PS: No LGBTQs were harmed during the production of this chapter.

For saying that she would tell me, Laura stayed silent for an awfully long time.

She stared at me intensely, pondering over how to approach me best, I figured.

Poor girl. Shaken to the core, but had to think about how to approach her vampiric girlfriend. What, was she afraid that I would tear her apart, if I didn't like her story? I really needed to lay off the vampire behavior for a while. At least until Laura got comfortable again.

It was funny, really. All this time I had tried to scare her away, and now, when that wasn't my intention anymore, it had finally worked. Even more absurd, though, was the fact that Laura scared me, too. That intense stare bore into me like a drill.

I ended up concentrating on her lips. The silence, I could handle, but that stare was a different story. As if she was trying to tell me, what was giving her nightmares, via a joint thought so she could avoid having to say it out loud. Sadly, life doesn't work that way.

"B-But you have to promise, not to laugh again, okay?"

Ouch, that stung. But I guess, I deserved that.

"I think I choked on the last laugh," I spoke truthfully, "so no, I will not do that again."

Laura nodded in approval and threw a deep breath. Then she removed her intense stare and, instead, started to fiddle with the blanket still wrapped around her lower body.

"When you didn't come back, I started to have nightmares. I'm sure you've noticed."

I nodded silently, trying to look into Laura's eyes, but she wouldn't let me. So the table had turned.

"It's always the same, always replaying in my head, you know? The moment, that you saved me from that light. Right before you jumped into the pit yourself."

I already knew what she was talking about, even nodded lightly, but Laura probably missed it because she was too focused on brushing her palm over the blanket again and again.

When you said "You know,"
"I really am starting to hate this heroic vampire crap."

I had caught on fast and joined her with the rest; I remembered every word and every emphasis just as clearly as Laura did. The perfect sync of those last words, I had said to her before killing the Dean, seemed to make her smile. However, seeing that it never reached her eyes, it was just false hope fueled by bitter joy.

"Yeah. That." she continued mumbling. "I thought it was the last time that I ever saw you. Then tonight, with the thunderstorm, I thought about my mother. I guess that's why this nightmare was sort of ... intense. Really, really ... intense. I had lost Mom to that freak accident, I was hurting all over, and then I saw you. In my dream, you just walked away, into that light. And I was left there, in that car, not able to move or do anything. I thought I was back in the pit, I thought that this was it ..."

Laura squinted her eyes a little and blinked several times – a sure indication for more tears to come – so I wheeled into action. I bounced one of my fists lightly against her shoulder. "Hey," I said to get her attention in addition, "you can't kill what's already dead, creampuff."

Again, Laura smiled a sad little smile, that wasn't all too honest. I was glad that she didn't cry again, but whatever this was about, it had shaken the little human profoundly. After all, it was in the middle of the night, the thunderstorm had surpassed us already, and still, Laura hadn't come out with the core of the problem – at least I felt like there was still something missing, a piece in the puzzle. For a girl with an almost pathological need to document everything, this was pretty uncommon.

"I believed that you were dead," she started again, this time with a devotion, that made me shiver, "Nothing had ever felt so real before. For several days, there wasn't any indication of your survival. Nothing. You, and the Dean, both of you just ... evaporated. And while I was glad that all of this was over, all I could think about was why – where – I had messed up."

My eyebrows were brought together as soon as Laura lost me. She got the girl, didn't she? She saved the school, didn't she? What exactly had she messed up?

"I ... have never felt the way I felt about you before ... and then I ... I just mess it up."

"Laura," I took her hand, "what do you mean exactly?"
"Didn't you listen?" she said loudly, "you died!"
"Ya, I know, centuries ago." I pointed out. "I'm right here."

It was pretty obvious, but I felt like Laura didn't really believe in my presence. Which is why I also put both my hands to her cheeks and made her look me in the eye. Or at least tried to; Laura closed her eyed slowly, pressing a single tear out.

"You don't understand ..."

I sighed, frustrated. I raised my voice then and there, never letting go of her though.
"Then make me–"

"You died, because of me!"

Boom; there it was.

After the echo of Laura's outburst faded away, I swallowed the lump in my throat and brought some oxygen back into my lungs. Quickly, it occurred to me, that I should've expected this. After all, it had happened before right? When the science ginger had gone missing. Even when her Mom had died.

My mouth opened – I was so certain of what to say – but no words left my mouth. Why, I wasn't sure, but Laura took that as an invitation to continue her rambling. Not without turing herself further away from me, though.

"You said it yourself. I was just a kid when my Mom died, but I'm an adult now. I made those choices and because of them, you ended up jumping into that pit. God, I made you do all these things, ... with the sword and talking you into staying when you wanted to leave ... so it's also me to blame that you ... that you ..."

I finally freed myself from my paralysis. Just in time – or so I hoped.

"No!" I thundered. "You will not finish that sentence."

Laura glared and I knew from experience, what she was about to do next. I had done it a hundred times myself, when I was still alive, just to piss off my birth parents. "I'm to blame," she said, "that you died."

A bitter smirk, almost invisible, crossed Laura's lips; probably the satisfaction from having done the exact opposite of what she had been told. Weirdly enough, the words really hurt, although they weren't true and I had already seen them coming anyway. However, the more I watched the girl before me – the obvious falter, the quiver of her lower lip, the half closed eyes glistering with unshed tears – the more I realized that it had more to do with the fact that Laura seemed to have broken her own heart with them.

"Come here, you idiot."

I pulled the stubborn human into a hug, that was resisted at first, but then welcomed. Short arms wrapped around mine and I felt her relax immediately after that. I also noticed, that I had set her tears loose.

"You have a giant heart, cupcake, you know that?" I placed a lingering kiss on her forehead, without letting her go. Not that she made any attempt of freeing herself anymore. "But sometimes, you drive me nuts with it."

"Carm," she sobbed and I ssh'ed her immediately. "None of this matters anymore" I told her. I even found myself rocking her a little again. It hard worked the first time, so why not try again?

"I ... I thought I'd lost you." Nothing but a low mumble.

"But you didn't," I reminded, "everything worked out. This is a happy ending, cutie."
I smiled lightly. I had always hated happy endings until Laura.
"Not one filled with nightmares, tears and misplaced guilt. And don't say it isn't misplaced, because it totally is. You're not responsible for everything that happened that night. I can and I did make my own decisions. Besides, nobody died, except for the villain. You won." – I smirked, a little proud now – "You're a hero."
Laura convolved at that. "You're the hero."
"Haven't I made it clear to you by now, that I'm not the hero of this piece?"
Laura grunted into my shoulder then. "I really don't feel like one."
"Welcome to my world."

We separated and my whole face lit up, when I saw Laura smile truthfully. It wasn't much, but it revitalised me anyway.

It also brought be back to seriousness, because now, I had her full, whole-heartedly attention.

"I'm serious though, Laura. I may have said that I don't like heroic vampire crap, but I also said that you're not responsible for every bad thing that happens around you. I'm sorry that I wasn't able to get back to you myself, but what's more important is that, somehow – and maybe even against all odds, because Xena was involved – fate brought us back together. We're here, together, and we're both okay. And there's nothing in this world that I'm more thankful for, especially after what you just told me tonight."

Laura nodded shyly, then wiped some tears away. After that, her hands were settled on my cheeks, thumbs rubbing over them. "I thought vampires don't cry?"

I was surprised to find that my girlfriend had a point; there were tears running down my face, happy tears, that she had just wiped away. I grimaced in a mixture of aversion and euphory, while Laura smiled at me. Her eyes were still sparkling from her teary gaze, as were mine, but it was still the most beautiful sight I had ever seen.

"They don't." I finally answered. "See what you're doing to me? You're killin' me Hollis."

"Good thing, you're already dead then, right?"

That made us both laugh; it felt like the weight of the world finally fell from my shoulders. Judging by the content smile Laura had plastered on her face now, she was feeling the same. It was a start, the first moment, I knew that things would be alright.

Maybe things would continue to suck for a while. Maybe, when we leave the campus tomorrow, Laura will be exhausted from a restless night. Maybe she'll continue to have nightmares, because things like these can't be fixed with a few words. Maybe we'll be caught in another thunderstorm. Maybe she will dream of her dead mother again. Maybe there will be more tears for the (almost) loss and misplaced guilt. Maybe the others will make fun of her for tiring more quickly than they will.

Ultimately, maybe none of this mattered, because we were in this together and would find a way out of the darkness side by side.

Man, what a love-drunk sap Laura Hollis had turned me into; disgusting.

To this day, I love every minute of it.

Author's note:

So that's it. Naturally, I had a kiss planned, but it felt too forced in the end. Besides, I think this works.

Do you agree? What do you think about the whole story? Loved it/hated it? Carm a little too "heart-eye vampire ooc-ish" at the end?
Would love to read your review/messages :)