[Edited: 12/09/15]

"So… is it true?"

Kuroko lifted his head to meet the red-haired teen's gaze. Red eyes bore into his own with an unfathomable intensity that almost made him want to avert his eyes but he forced himself to stare back with an eyebrow raised. There was a slight flush on the teenager's face as he, despite their already close proximity, leaned over the table to speak in a hushed tone.

"That you're… you know… with Akashi."

Of course, he thought with an exasperated sigh. Even Kagami of all people was bound to know about it with the speed of the circulation of the rumors in Seirin and Rakuzan. He had no idea how the information made it out, considering that half of Seirin's student populace alone wasn't even aware that he existed. But then, he thought, it was about the Akashi after all.

"That I'm engaged to Akashi-kun? Yes, it's true," he confirmed, ignoring the way Kagami seemed to even grow redder at the admission. He calmly let his gaze fall to his hands. "What about it?"

"How… how can you be so casual about it?" Kagami asked, wide eyed. "More like, have you even talked to him at all ever since your parents informed you of… your, well, thing?"

Kuroko shrugged halfheartedly. "Not really."

Kagami stared at him blankly.

"...You're engaged, Kuroko. Engaged. To him."

"I believe that we've already established that earlier, Kagami-kun," he told him, his expression wry.

"Are you retarded?"

"I don't want to hear that from you of all people."

"Alright, listen," the redhead growled, agitated. "You're engaged to a person whom you used to know so well, give or take, a year ago. Even if you insist that this is nothing but a formal arrangement made by your parents for the convenience of your family's business, you can't argue that with the condition of your relationship, you will be finding it very difficult to come into terms with certain things. In fact," Kagami paused as he let the pads of his fingers graze the surface of his cheek, recalling his first encounter with the former basketball captain of Teiko, "knowing that guy, he'd probably take control of things so that this," he gestured vaguely to emphasize whatever 'this' was, "wouldn't hinder him or his plans in the future. And I know you Kuroko. You wouldn't just obey his orders quietly, most especially not with after what happened between you two."

Kuroko's expression was smoothed into one of disinterest. His eyes were on his cup, and his posture was lax as he took small sips from the cool beverage. For a moment, Kagami thought that Kuroko would actually go about ignoring everything that he had said until he noticed it.

The subtle tremble of Kuroko's fingers which he desperately tried to hide by tightly gripping his cup.

"Kuroko, I didn't mean to-" Kagami tried to say.

"I know, Kagami-kun," Kuroko intervened quietly. His frosty blue eyes moved to the window beside them. "Believe me, I know."

And Kagami had little to no doubt that he did. He might not be as observant as their team manager but even he could see Kuroko's unusual lack of hatred for his former teammates. He had always thought that it was weird. It shouldn't have been that easy to overcome what he had gone through. It shouldn't have been easy to forgive the people who were absolutely undeserving of it at all. Kagami could only imagine how much it hurts Kuroko to forgive people who haven't asked for forgiveness just to come into terms with himself that he was the only one who could bring back what they have lost.

The irony of it left a scorching heat of revulsion in Kagami's chest.

"It must be unusual of me to say this," Kuroko suddenly said, his voice cracking as he let out a breathy laugh. He rubbed at the back of his neck as he kept his gaze fixated on the window, his small smile void of any actual feeling. "But Kagami-kun, I'm selfish. Im very selfish. Is it wrong of me to want this even if in the end, it's just for the sake of our families?"

Selfish, Kagami repeated uncertainly in his head. Was Kuroko... selfish? Sure, he had admitted to using Kagami to win against the Generation of Miracles at one point but that was also for their own good, wasn't it? Kuroko just wanted them to regain their passion once again to be able to play to their heart's content. And the thing was, Kagami knew that way before Kuroko had told him. He really didn't mind since their intentions led to the same direction; bringing victory to the team and being able to play basketball. But other than that, had Kuroko actually said that he wanted something for himself? Considering that he was the only heir of a very rich family, it isn't too farfetched to assume that Kuroko probably had everything he wanted within his grasp. So why would he think that he was being selfish? In fact, Kagami frowned slightly, what did Kuroko even mean by that?

Kuroko's eyes left the window and he looked at Kagami with a tight expression.

Suddenly, the fast-food restaurant didn't seem as noisy as it had been. The noise gradually died down into a deafening silence and the concern of being overheard left the two of them.

"I loved Akashi-kun," he said, his tone unmistakably bitter at the irony of the situation. Kagami couldn't even bring himself to ask how long he had, or what made him stop loving him despite the obvious reasons. Kagami just stared, at a complete loss for words, now understanding what the pained and agonized expression on his teammate's face entailed. Of course, there are things he'd never know, but those are for Kuroko to tell someday. Right now, he can only guess what's actually going on inside Kuroko's head.

Kagami could only think of what it was like; just how much fear Kuroko actually felt. Fear of having to fall for the same person again yet knowing that it would end the same way. Fear of having to lose something that wasn't even his to begin with. Fear. Just sheer fear for what could possibly happen.

"I'm sorry, Kagami-kun," Kuroko murmured softly, "I just…"

Kagami grinned sheepishly and shrugged. "It's fine. I won't ask you to 'open up' or some crap like that but I just want you to remember," he told him seriously, red eyes somber, "Remember that we got you're back. We're here for you."

Kuroko smiled slightly. "Thank you."

Kagami thought that Kuroko looked like he wanted to cry right there and then.

But Kuroko didn't.

It wasn't the first time Kagami asked himself just how many times have Kuroko cried behind their backs to not be able to cry anymore.