fools

rating: T

summary: Maya Hart is tired of New York and the pain people there caused her. her hopes were too high, and then he went and smashed them/ in which the aftermath of Lucas and Maya's breakup changes everything

I am tired of this place, I hope people change
I need time to replace what I gave away
And my hopes, they are high, I must keep them small
Though I try to resist I still want it all

A lone figure was walking the crowded streets of New York at one pm, not caring that she was being drenched by the downpour. She kept her head down, ignoring the few other pedestrians staring at her. She walked past multiple stations of the umbrella stands that she and Riley had put into place back in middle school, an unfeeling stare gracing her face.

New York. The place she had called home for the past eighteen years of her life. Although she knew everything was constantly changing, it felt the same as it did back when she was five, nine, thirteen. People on their phones, walking quickly. Each person was different, but they all had the same motives.

Maya Penelope Hart was tired of New York. She wanted out, out of the same old city with the same old people with the same old jobs and the same...

Couples lined the streets as they made their way down the crowded streets of New York. Maya watched them walk past her, feeling her stomach sink even lower. She used to be part of one of those couples, the ones she used to find obnoxious. But that was all over now, she reminded herself as she continued walking, swallowing her grief.

She heard he was taking the breakup just as bad as she was, but she didn't know if that was true. For all she knew, he was out with friends, glad to be free of her. She wanted to hope that he still loved her, that he wanted her back, but she couldn't let her hope soar, only to have it crash again. She had done that too many times. She couldn't let herself descend even more into her dungeon of sadness than she already was. She had sunk deeper than she had ever reached, those memories plaguing her. She let the words get the best of her, and now she sported faded scars on the inside of her wrists. No one ever saw them, because even before it started, she rarely wore short sleeves.

She shook herself out of her thoughts as she pulled her sleeves down and hood up, trying to protect herself from the rain.

Grand Central Station came into view, and she climbed the steps, fading into the crowd, becoming just another citizen of New York. She unwound her scarf as she approached the schedule of what trains left when. She purchased a ticket, the only words she murmured being "One to Chicago please."

She was leaving.

I see swimming pools and living rooms and aeroplanes
I see a little house on the hill and childrens' names
I see quiet nights poured over ice and Tanqueray
But everything is shattering and it's my mistake

She had already sent most of her possessions ahead to her cousin's apartment. All she carried with her was her black leather backpack, packed with her art supplies, a book, her laptop, phone and their respective chargers.

She was planning on leaving anyways. She was taking a year off before college, and was looking for a place to stay, to call home. When she and Lucas were still together, she had been planning on finding a flat near him. But when they broke up just a week ago, she called her cousin Kate, pleading to stay with her until she was able to find an apartment. Kate had agreed, and now Maya was going to leave behind the only home she had ever known.

Her mother knew, of course. No one else did. Katy had promised not to tell, until Maya had called from Chicago.

It was a mistake to think she and Lucas would've lasted. They never stood a chance. Their love was bright and intense when it lasted. But it burned out too quickly. They each had things holding them back from truly committing to the relationship. Maya still had her trust issues, left to her by her father. She knew they'd always stick with her, but she was doing her best to overcome them. And Lucas. He knew he loved Maya, but a part of him still clung to Riley. He knew it was unfair to both girls, but he couldn't help it. They both lit up his world in a way the other could not.

Maya had thought, at the time, that maybe, possibly, somehow, Lucas could've been the one. She had never loved anyone like she had loved him, not even Josh. She drew the house she'd like to have when she was older, complete with swimming pools. It was perched on a hill in a quiet neighborhood, one quite different from the bustling city she had grown up in.

And as much as she hated to admit it, she had let herself hope so much that she compiled a list of names she liked. First and middle names, boys, girls, gender neutral; they all were part of it. She knew what she'd name her children, and it had terrified her as much as it excited her.

And maybe that's why she began pulling away. Lucas had become the only one she was able to picture being with in the future. She wasn't ready for commitment that great, and although she knew it wouldn't happen for years, she knew if their relationship continued as it was, it was bound to happen.

She was terrified of being a repeat of her parent's marriage. They had loved each other, and then he left. She didn't want that to happen to her and Lucas, so she let the chasm between them widen as the days went on.

It was all my fault, she thought, forcing back the sob that was bubbling in her throat.

Only fools fall for you, only fools
Only fools do what I do, only fools fall
Only fools fall for you, only fools
Only fools do what I do, only fools fall

She wasn't supposed to fall for him, or so she believed. For the longest time, "Riley and Lucas" had been drilled into her brain. She shoved her feelings to the side for years, hoping no one would ever find out.

Look how well that turned out.

Oh, our lives don't collide, I'm aware of this
The differences and impulses and your obsession with
The little things, you like stick, and I like aerosol
I don't give a fuck, not giving up, I still want it all

They were different, and had different paths ahead of them. Maya wanted to be an artist, and Lucas, a vet. They argued over the stupidest of things. He was always keen on the little things, while Maya didn't care much about them, unless they were in her art.

He obsessed over grades and pushed her to do her best. She appreciated it, but she didn't need help. She said she hated "this and that, oh, and that other thing" about him, but now that they couldn't even look at each other, she realized how much she missed him, and all his quirks. They made him, him.

She knew it was foolish, and that she'd probably descend even more into her dungeon of sadness because of it, but she decided to hold on to him. He was her first real love, after all. She couldn't get over him that quickly.

Only fools fall for you, only fools
Only fools do what I do, only fools fall
Only fools fall for you, only fools
Only fools do what I do, only fools fall

As she boarded the train, Maya glanced around the platform, part of her hoping he'd show up and tell her not to leave, that he loves her. But no one stopped her from getting on the train.

She stared out the window, tears spilling from her blue eyes as the train pulled away from the station, taking her away from her home.

an: I hope you guys enjoy this. this idea came to me when I was listening to this song (Fools by Troye Sivan).

Let me know if you want Lucas's side of the breakup, or more of Maya.

(My other stories will be updated ASAP)

Review, favorite and follow!

~R5 is my life