This is a random-ass fic idea, so do not go begging for updates asap, I'm just going with the crack, okay! What if...Edward Elric was somehow/killed, idk yet, and was then...Allen Walker? These two are too fucking similar, okay-and I thought it would be purely hilarious to combine the two! So what if I have school assignments to do...hahaaaa...ha. Laughs bitterly. I have a freaking portfolio to do by DECEMBER! and I haven't even written a short story yet because I suck at original ideas.

Anywho, do not own any of these manic ideas! I just thought I need to write more funny crossovers and less serious ones. Since Allen and Ed are so fucking similar, this needs to be written, this demanding muse of mine ALSO WANTS ME TO UPDATE THE LIVING SPIRITS, SO I WILL, GAH. D grayman muses have come back! Allen is a little cinnamon roll-and he's too much like Kaneki...

Chapter One: In which Allen's Life becomes Ten Thousand Times more complicated than it had to be

Allen Walker was not an ordinary boy. He was not ordinary at all. For one thing, how many boys had white hair? For another, how many boys had weird arms that had innocence in them? How many of them could see dead people?

Okay, we're getting off-topic here. The thing is, Allen was not an ordinary boy, end-of-story.

You see, he also had another secret, something he did not tell many people-which was that he remembered memories of another life-one where he had been an alchemist named Edward Elric.

Shockingly, he was as short now as he had been then-a little taller, perhaps but it was still something that didn't change, he still somehow attracted dead people, and he still had a bad arm. Huh, wasn't that interesting. Allen remembered a lot of his life as Ed-but some parts were still kinda fuzzy.

For the most part, Allen tended to ignore his past life. He tried to, as much as possible.

Until his past life came knocking on his front door and attacked him. Literally.

He'd never thought it possible. That this could be happening. Yet, here it was.

It had all been a peaceful (no, more like chaotic day) at the order, with Komui doing his usual chaotic experiments-what was it with him and his bad luck with bosses, he thought to himself, as he pushed more food into his mouth. He still ate quite a lot. Some things never changed-whether he was an alchemist or exorcist, it really didn't matter.

Then, the terrified cries of the Gatekeeper could be heard. That only meant one thing; an intruder was at hand!

Allen got up, determined to use his innocence on the intruder, but Kanda decided to go first, like usual.

"You stay here, beansprout."

Didn't this feel familiar. If not irksome.

"Who are you calling short, Kanda?" He said. "Jerk."

He didn't lose his temper as much as he had in his past life. Allen had to cringe at how annoying he had been as Ed...not that he didn't miss his brother, he did. What did his brother look like again?

"Some weird...suit of armor...it's possessed, it tried to attack me!" The gate screamed.

"Is it an akuma of some sort?" Kanda inquired, but the gate was too paranoid to speak properly.

"Please! I'm not a bad guy of any kind! I just want to find my brother!" The suit of armor squealed, even as Kanda had his blade pointed at the thing.

"You can talk," Kanda said, "Wait, you have a brother? You're a suit of armor."

"I wasn't always like this, I swear!" The armor screeched. "Please, spare me, I just wanted to find my brother! I heard he's here..." He got down on his hands and knees. And started bawling.

Komui stared. "Is a suit of armor crying?"

"...Why is this happening?" Allen moaned, facepalming. Why now, of all times. This made life ten thousand times more awkward. "...I'm going down there, Komui-san." He said.

"Wait, Allen!" Komui said.

Allen paused, "That's my...uh, I'll explain it later."

Alphonse Elric had been heartbroken when his brother had been killed. How surprised he had been, then, when a young man told him his brother was alive; resurrected, but alive.

What if his brother was a homunculus? Still, the young armor was even more shocked when his brother's location pointed to...the Black Order? Wasn't that where exorcists were, the kinds of alchemists the military didn't even speak of?

Which was why he was on his hands and knees, begging for this crazy guy with the sword to leave him alone.

"...Are you sure you're not an akuma?" The other said, pointing the blade dangerously close to his throat.

"Please..." Al whined.

"I think that's enough, Kanda." A sharp voice said from behind them, somewhat familiar, yet different.

Al looked up in time to see a short teenager standing there; with white hair in a familiar hairstyle, with blue eyes, and a weird-looking arm.

"What is it, beansprout?"

Allen walked towards Kanda. "Kanda," He said sharply, "That's not an innocence of any kind. That's a human soul in a suit of armor."

"I TOLD YOU IT WAS AN AKUMA!" The gate screamed from behind them.

"No, he's not," Allen said in annoyance.

"Well, then, beansprout, who the hell is he?"

Allen turned to look at Alphonse, who was terrified out of his wits.

"You're Alphonse, right?"

"Y-Yeah, but how do you know my name?" Al asked, looking the boy up and down.

Allen scratched his head. "Take off your head."

Al was puzzled. "No, get off me! I'm looking for my brother!"

"Find a garbage can," Kanda remarked in boredom.

Allen lifted Al's head off in time to show a blood seal. "Still where it used to be at! Isn't that right, Alphonse?" He said, smiling.

Alphonse blinked, and blinked again. "...Are you...?"

Allen turned to Komui, and Lenalee, who had joined them outside. "...May I introduce Alphonse Elric. My...uh, brother. Er, past brother."

"You have a brother, Allen?" Lenalee said.

Alphonse gasped. "B-Brother? Is it you?"

Allen paused, paling slightly. "...Y-Yes, it's me...A-Al...don't."

Alphonse grasped Allen in a death hug. "BROTHER, I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT YOU! BUT, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?"

"Al...I need air," Allen gasped, pushing himself away.

"Why are you taller than you used to be? What happened to your hair, why is it white? Why are your eyes blue? What's with your automail?" Al threw a flurry of questions at the exorcist, who paled.

"...I was reborn," He said softly, smiling. "...And my hair and eyes are natural, Alphonse. This is an innocence. My arm was born like this."

Al stared at Allen. "...You've changed," He whined.

"So, beansprout, this guy is your brother?"

"In a past life, yes," Allen added.

"Ed-"

"Call me Allen, Alphonse. D-Don't tell me that guy, Mustang-san knows too?" He mumbled, paling slightly.

The wicked grin Alphonse shot him was enough to make Allen quiver.

"Is it just me, Brother, or are you different?" Alphonse asked. "How come you're not losing your temper so much?"

"No point in it," Allen said. "Wait a second-you didn't tell Winry, did you?"

"Winry will probably throw a wrench at you, brother." Al said, "I was so worried when you died."

"So basically, Allen-kun, you were an alchemist in your past life, but you died and were reincarnated, only remembering now." Komui deduced.

"Don't appear so suddenly!" Allen cried. "...Yes. I just wanted to keep it a secret."

"You know, brother, I miss your old hair color. You look like an old man..." Al whined.

"I'm not old!" Allen said, his face red.

"I'm Lenalee, nice to meet you, Alphonse. I didn't know Allen-kun even had a brother."

Allen stopped pouting and instead smiled and chattered away.

"...Uh, brother...what's with the mark on your face, under your eye?"

Allen froze. "What's what?"

"That mark..." Al muttered.

"...It's a mark you get when you try to bring someone back from the dead." Allen said nervously.

"WHAT DID YOU DO, BROTHER? WASN'T ONE TIME ENOUGH TO TELL YOU NEVER AGAIN!?"

Allen ran and hid behind Lenalee.

"It wasn't like that, Al! It was different, I swear!"

Al picked up his brother. "...Brother, I worried over you! What would teacher say...?"

Allen paled significantly. "I think I'm gonna go with General Cross...rather than her..." He shriveled into a chibi.

"Brother?" Al asked.

"I'm just fine! Call me Allen, please!" Allen said, smiling.

"Allen-niisama?" Al tried.

"That's better," Allen said.

"You still didn't explain to me why you tried to bring someone back from the dead again!"

Allen facepalmed. "This is gonna take a while."